Post by: Tulip on March 07, 2012, 05:05:58 AM
Saw this topic quite a bit so thought I'd start a thread to help generally- when an ex blocks you suddenly (i.e. on facebook) negativity becomes your best friend- you go into panic mode, your heart starts pounding, your head starts swirling and you sink into an ugly depression. You feel rejected, unloved, unwanted.
For nothing.
Switch your thoughts to something more positive because let me tell you- there are 2 reasons why an ex would block you:
1. They are hurting. I blocked my ex because I couldn't stomach seeing pictures of him- eventually, I just deleted my account.
2. To provoke a reaction out of you
Now if you ignore the temporary bump and continue focusing on YOU and not them- time will make them wonder why on earth you don't care- curiosity will make them reach out and get in touch be it 3 weeks or 3 months.
Please dont panic. Everything is in divine timing. People (especially exes) only have the power to upset and hurt you if you allow it. CHOOSE to be happy.
Hope this helps!!
Post by: MeowMix on March 07, 2012, 05:11:36 AM
That's true! I blocked my ex because I didn't want to keep seeing pics of him and his new girl. And to stop myself from creeping on him lol. But one thing is for sure, blocking just equals there are feelings.
Post by: kaomhinhas on March 07, 2012, 05:21:08 AM
i'll tend to agree with you all.
my ex blocked me on skype a few weeks ago and somehow i didn't see it as a bad thing. it just showed me she was still emotionally "linked"
Post by: tina_attract on March 07, 2012, 05:36:08 AM
Ahhh great topic tulip! I fit into category 1 as well, blocking my ex every way possible so I can focus on myself instead of creeping him! LOL very anti-loa behaviour if I hadn't. 😛
Post by: Tulip on March 07, 2012, 05:43:54 AM
Yeah, when I broke up with my ex first thing I did was literally disappear. I didnt need to see, hear or know anything about him. I knew I wasnt even strong enough to handle the basic things and it wasn't worth the emotional torture! So that could be a reason exes block...
Post by: kaomhinhas on March 07, 2012, 05:51:36 AM
however it does show that the emotional link is still very much present and consequently leaves an open door
Post by: Tulip on March 07, 2012, 05:53:43 AM
100% agree with you. If an ex just isn't bothered or didn't feel any hurt, they wouldn't bother blocking. I think it also shows that they do actually care about your feelings too
Its a positive thing!!
Post by: beautifuldreamer on March 07, 2012, 07:13:09 AM
I agree I was blocked and now after 6months he came around and unblocked me. I am glad he did, because it made moving on so much easier 🙂
Post by: 57angel on March 07, 2012, 01:14:19 PM
I wasn't blocked by my ex, it was me who deleted everything of him (emails, YM, contact list). I don't know if he has deleted me as well, so glad we aren't friends in FB. Hmmm and even my officemate and at the same time ex friend who has been communicating with him was also blocked in my friendship lol I agree with Tulip, everything is perfect timing, we need to heal as much as our exes need to heal. Isn't it amazing that their action of blocking is also a way for both parties to throw away the not so good relationship, and will only unblock when the more loving, happier relationship is at hand 🙂 😉
Post by: chrissy8907 on March 10, 2012, 09:40:14 AM
Love this and so true!! I was blocked and was so hurt!! Looking back it helped me let go I look back and thank him even though he admittingly did it because he couldn't see all my updates and pictures. Don't take it as a negative take it as a healing and positive thing 🙂
Post by: JustForToday on March 10, 2012, 12:52:54 PM
great topic tulip,
you answered a question which many many of us had 😉
i too got blocked and unblocked and blocked again and i cant remember how many times i blocked and unblocked.... haha, i was just waiting for FB to say- not possible anymore, you hit the mark of...... ;D
anyway, yes- you only do this when you are emotionally involved
Post by: Marianna9351 on March 10, 2012, 01:53:00 PM
LMBO @ crazysoul...facebook should have a feature saying 'you have been blocked from blocking, u hit the max'.... 8)
Post by: siamesegirl on March 11, 2012, 05:22:51 AM
I started a topic about this earlier in the week when I found Ryan had blocked me. The weird thing was as I said, my profile is in the name of one of my ancestors (I do family history) and the profile picture is not of me. I'd looked at his profile, but not obsessively, and looked at some stuff of mutual interest and "liked" some of his posts on those pages. I think what he had done was then looked at my public profile, seen some public postings, gone on those sites and worked out that it was me, and then blocked me. He then unblocked me later in the week (?? Why??) I have been on his page again (just being nosey! Not clicking on anything or "liking" anything). Now he has blocked me again! My friend looked at his profile and about 15 minutes ago he has posted some nonsense about playing at vampires and biting his new girlfriend. I know it sounds childish. I do of course want to be back with him but I also want it to be when it is RIGHT. I'm going to make 100% sure I don't even look at his profile for weeks and weeks just to let it all calm down (I think? Right thing to do anyone??) I did email him probably 3 weeks ago and he didn't reply (the email was only just chat, hello how are you etc), then when I looked at his page and clicked the "likes" he blocked me. He is an IT technician though, and I wonder if he has some way of knowing who is looking at his page? Miss him and want him back, but want a RIGHT relationship with him too.
Very confused, feel rubbish, but am trying. Worrying thing is he goes to Japan in September and I am in England - Yorkshire! 🙁
Post by: Mr Brightside on March 11, 2012, 05:33:32 AM
Siamesegirl I agree with you that a step back is needed here. Dont look on his facebook, because that does nothing but hurt you in the end. He got your email so wait for him to write you back. Thats all i would do at this point, aside from that continue to use LOA. Start to focus on your life and worry less about his, everything will happen at the right time if you let it.
Post by: JustForToday on March 11, 2012, 01:32:03 PM
siamesegirl---
first, like stef said, calm down---- you are really in the middle of a needy place in you.
try all to distract yourself, you need to switch your mindstate to attract him back. as soon as possible. but think of yourself, its not a good feeling to suffer, worry and a the stuff.... make things FOR YOU. think of YOUR happiness. for now- without him.
i know its hard, but you can do it. we all did and so can you. we are here to help you to get detached and to stay detached, cause i think 80 % have the same problem. so youre not alone.
i dont think that he can see if you looked at his page. then he could have keep you blocked anyway, if its sooo annoying for him.
he unblocked you to look at your profile again.... cause he cant if he blocked you.
so he opened it again, looked and blocked you again. pretty sure that this is the reason behind.
stop writing emails, step back and he will get that vine, that you COULD live without him and get interested in whats going on there with you. believe me.
the nearer you come now, the more he will take distance. that is just normal.
you have to let HIM come. no contact from your side at all.
have you read the bible on how getting your ex back? from ankur?
http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/6/bible-of-getting-your-ex-back-dns-post/
i hope the words will reach you.
sending patience your way! 🙂 🙂
Post by: JustForToday on March 11, 2012, 01:35:38 PM
ps-
you are right there where i wanna be and live-- north yorkshire 😉
go to the beach and enjoy the wonderful place you are living! 🙂
Post by: ESP on June 19, 2012, 12:32:15 PM
Thanks for pointing this out, my ex cut off all contact with me, at the time it never occurred to me that he was cutting me off because he couldn't handle being reminded of how much he still cares about me. I wish I'd understood this the day he made that mistake.
Post by: mixtress on June 19, 2012, 01:02:01 PM
I love this thread. I agree, FaceBook can be so evil during break-ups (and in my case, even during the relationship itself!). My ex who wasn't using FB for a year or so made a new account last month. In turn, instead of blocking him I just deleted my account. I know that if I had kept it I would just be snooping on him and letting my insecurities get the best of me while I wonder why he's adding so and so, or how he's met this girl and that girl. I refuse to partake in those negative emotions. 😉
Post by: Sayo on June 19, 2012, 04:25:24 PM
maybe i'm just getting paranoid here, but my ex didnt block me on fb! Infact we're 'just friends' and he's prety cool and initiates contact like all's well....does that mean, he's over it? Cause I'm not and i want him back!! 😮
Post by: angelelle on June 19, 2012, 04:52:56 PM
so what does it mean if your ex doesn't block you - lol 🙂 In the beginning of our breakup he removed me as friends as HE said HE did not want to see what I got up too, this is nearly a year ago now. However, he let me be friends with his dogs FB page (sad I know). When he got a new gf I blocked her and him, then unblocked her. Then I found out he was looking at my page through his dog!! So I unfriended his dog, lol. But he has not blocked me or removed me from spotify. However, I have tried to remove him from spotify without much success as the last time I looked at his list he had recently added a lot of love songs and that just made me think he is sitting with his new gf listening to soppy songs!!! I also asked HIM to block me from his cell which he said he didn't want to but reluctantly dig. Unfortunately he now contacts me on his work phone!
So confusing, does him not blocking me from anything actually mean that he doesn't think of me, or hurt or care? As it has been me doing all the blocking and removing in the past few months as I just cant deal with his new relation.
Post by: Sayo on June 19, 2012, 07:21:22 PM
haha, you know what? maybe the ex's who dont block us just want us to be a part of their lives in some teeny-tiny way. You know, like keep us there and see where it goes. Because if they were in a relationship with us, it obviously means they liked something in us, and later after the break-up the way they choose to keep in contact with us is upto them-blocked or unblocked.
I guess the big picture here is that, at the end of the day, there is still SOME energy between us and we can control that energy with our thoughts (LOA) -so there is ALWAYS some hope! 🙂
and angelelle, i find it so cute that he looks at your page through his dog's!! There's still hope girl but just dont read too much into it 🙂
~peace!
Post by: almightymarius on June 19, 2012, 11:59:54 PM
I'd also like to say something. Regardless of the blocked/unblocked issue, it is more a matter of self control. First of all if she/he doesn't block you, you can be sure that they are checking out your profile, posts & photos because they still feel the need for closure and keep in touch with you, to cushion their decision, even if indirectly. Second, if they do block you, that means they still have strong feelings for you, otherwise they wouldn't care to do it. And this second situation is the one you want to be in. I'll explain it better. She broke up with me about 3 weeks ago after 4 and a half years together. I kept her as a friend on facebook but the first week was a living hell, I checked her profile dozens of times a day, and she did everything to get a reaction out of me (indecent photos, flirting with other guys etc.). So I asked around, including this forum, and decided to block her. I got to say I feel a lot better now and I'm truly able to let it go and put loa to work. As I heard, my decision affected her greatly so I understand she still cares, but at the moment it's not about her anymore, it's about me, myself & I. So my advice is, the best way to let go is to truly engage in no contact, and be honest with yourself & don't cheat. The faster you get over your ex & start working on yourself, the better the chances that you'll feel happy with your life and definitely be ready to start a new relationship, with your ex or otherwise.
Post by: ESP on June 20, 2012, 03:35:13 PM
I didn't join facebook until after I last spoke to my ex, but I've never sought him out on facebook for one simple reason, I know if I go looking and find something I don't want to see there is a chance I might undo all the work I've done on myself, and all the work I've and all the work I've done toward attracting a new relationship with him. Nobody needs to do that to themselves when they are serious about being with the person they love.
Post by: littleangelite on October 28, 2012, 09:44:43 AM
Thank you for this thread and responses!
Post by: Ocean on November 02, 2012, 12:15:09 PM
I never got around to replying to this until now, but this was exactly what I needed at the time. Funny how I thought the thread was new but it was bumped from a couple of months ago. Definitely some synchronicity at work here. Thanks, Tulip, Mrs. Smith, and thank you everyone for all the wisdom.
By the way, I was unfriended and not blocked, but it's still the same thing, right? And it was done about 2 months after the break-up, or a few weeks after we had contact in person, although the interaction wasn't exactly positive.
Post by: Tedge on November 02, 2012, 01:03:01 PM
Unfriended and blocked are really two different things. Unfriended means that you don't get their feed. and if you look at their profile you'll see whatever they have their setting to show anyone who isn't a "friend".
Blocked means that if you type a search their profile doesn't exist for you. Nada, Nothing, Zilch.
Also if you have friends in common and they reply on your friends wall or thread you can't see it. It's a bit strange sometimes seeing only part of a conversation until you realize who is probably the other half of your mutual friend's conversation.
They also don't see anything that you post.
Post by: Ocean on November 02, 2012, 01:17:24 PM
Quote from: Tedge on November 02, 2012, 01:03:01 PM
Unfriended and blocked are really two different things. Unfriended means that you don't get their feed. and if you look at their profile you'll see whatever they have their setting to show anyone who isn't a "friend".
Blocked means that if you type a search their profile doesn't exist for you. Nada, Nothing, Zilch.
Also if you have friends in common and they reply on your friends wall or thread you can't see it. It's a bit strange sometimes seeing only part of a conversation until you realize who is probably the other half of your mutual friend's conversation.
They also don't see anything that you post.
Haha. I should have been more specific with what I was asking, but thanks for making the distinction anyway, Tedge. I meant to ask if their reasoning for unfriending would be the same reason they would block you, as discussed in the thread.
Post by: loveandcupcakes on November 19, 2012, 04:17:14 PM
Heh, was browsing through old threads and stumbled upon this one. I wish I could see my guy unfriending me on Facebook in a positive manner, that he still "cares" etc. However, I think he unfriended me on Facebook because he was tired of me FB-messaging him constantly and pestering him about WHY we broke up.. pretty sure that was why he unfriended me. He was annoyed. 🙁 Ugh.
Any suggestions on how I could view that as a positive thing? Am finding it really hard to be positive about that.
Post by: HootZee on November 19, 2012, 07:27:08 PM
^Loveandcupcakes, I don't think you necessarily have to. I mean, it doesn't really change the process of attracting him back, it doesn't even matter. All that matters is that you can change it. My bf blocked me on yahoo, and then once after he sent me a bunch of really mean and rude messages, he blocked me on whatsapp. ;D Funny thing was though he did after I had stopped sending him messages. What I did was just visualise him unblocking me and me being able to see him come online again. And in the case of him blocking me on yahoo, he unblocked me the next week, and when he blocked me on whats app he ended up unblocking me the next morning. 😀 Anyway, this is getting long. My point is, blocking shouldn't really matter. I know it hurts, but find a way to laugh at it, and then believe it will be ok again. Just focus on attracting him back and being happy, little things like that don't matter.
Post by: light78 on November 21, 2012, 12:50:59 AM
And what is your view if they blocked your phone too and hung up if you call? .....a hopeful view still? 🙂 please adivise, my negativity and beliefs are ruining my ability to work on LOA despite knowing that is possible
Post by: lilly on November 21, 2012, 02:03:56 AM
Quote from: light78 on November 21, 2012, 12:50:59 AM
And what is your view if they blocked your phone too and hung up if you call? .....a hopeful view still? 🙂 please adivise, my negativity and beliefs are ruining my ability to work on LOA despite knowing that is possible
Why still calling if they already blocked you..clearly they are not ready to talk for whatever reason and so no matter how much pleading and trying to talk to them will not change their mind about the subject of the conflict.
Personally, I would stop messaging/calling or any other action that may come off as needy and that'll be counterproductive. If they see you no longer try to reach for them, eventually they will unblock you, be confident!
Post by: SilverSprings on February 21, 2013, 10:51:01 PM
I stopped going on Facebook altogether, mostly because I want to make myself mysterious. I don't want him to find out things about me through Facebook and vice versa. I did this because I didn't want to go through any blocking problems.Do you think this would make him wonder about me or forget about me?
Post by: SilverSprings on February 28, 2013, 12:26:46 AM
"Now if you ignore the temporary bump and continue focusing on YOU and not them- time will make them wonder why on earth you don't care- curiosity will make them reach out and get in touch be it 3 weeks or 3 months."
I believe this is the answer 🙂
You just gotta focus on you, whether or not you are blocked or don't go on Facebook at all. Just because you don't go on Facebook anymore doesn't mean you are forgotten about. Like Cherrybelle said, it's just Facebook and we were all fine without it when it didn't exist 😉
Post by: denny on May 07, 2013, 01:42:30 AM
--
Post by: BrandyGrandy on May 07, 2013, 06:34:47 AM
It is my opinion that unless you are constantly texting, ie harassing a person, their move to block shows a vulnerability in themselves. They block you to protect themselves, to try to get over you the best way they know how. Men are infamous for going cold, going in to their caves, and stonewalling. It is the best way for them not to have to deal with you and their emotions.
Post by: Laxman2 on January 10, 2014, 11:18:36 PM
I was recently blocked by my ex on iPhone Skype and facebook. Three months ago when we broke up she said she wanted to be friends, so we tried. Or more accurate I tried, she didn't. Turns out everything I did (if it was texting her once in a while or a fb comment or like) made her uncomfortable. She never gave me a reason why. I had personal things of hers still (photos and some videos mainly) and she asked me to delete them...what she didn't know and probably still doesn't know is they were deleted long ago but I didn't say that, I said explain why I owe you anything after everything you put me through. I never had the chance to tell her that was my mistake of frustration so I have no idea if she's aware they have been gone for some time.
My point is: she stated plainly that she doesn't want me talking to her anymore. Ever. She truly hates me and once again, she never said why or gave me any reason why beyond the vague comments along the lines of "I don't know why but it bothers me". We weren't together long (I was her rebound) and I accepted that fact the first month. She never treated me like a rebound, she treated me like a boyfriend...we cared for each other very much and when it ended I explained I understood and she said she wanted to be friends so I thought we could.
I dont know how you all can look at blocking in such a positive light. It's likely I'll never hear from her again and I will never understand why beyond the obvious of what she told me (the vague description of " whenever you try to contact me I go ugh").
I have no idea what I did beyond try to build a friendship. This all ended when she asked if a happy memory of mine was with her, without shame I said yes. This bothered her. Yes, you read right, me having a happy memory in my life that involved her bothered her. She blocked me that night after a lengthily message of discontent and what seemed to me as hatred but not mindless hate. Obviously having a happy moment you remember with someone you used to care about means you aren't over it I guess, news to me because I still have happy memories with plenty of my exes.
I'm not sure what the real issue is, if I'm purely to blame or not or we both are. Either way I'm completely cut off from her and all these positive posts about it make me wonder what exactly it is you all are smoking lol. What hope is there really? Does this not apply to a rebound relationship? (I'm not denying the fact that it was a rebound relationship but there was a point where it escalated away from that, including mutual expressed feelings of love that we both meant, at least at that time)
I'm trying to find a silver lining her because it all seems very optimistic for no reason. After everything horrible that she told me, I'd still give her a chance to apologize and still work with her to understand what she was going through but she doesn't care at all about what I feel or think (if it's an act, she deserves an Oscar).
Friends was all I wanted, she's a good person I know for sure because I was able to see the best of her. My happy memory of her is just a memory, yet it proceeded to be the stake in the proverbial coffin. She asked if I had one and if it involved her so why lie? Now she's gone.
Time is something that's so lonely sometimes.
Post by: LauraC on January 10, 2014, 11:39:37 PM
Laxman2, first, i feel sorry for you, i'm almost in the same position as you.
(btw, i was wondering, how do you know you are blocked on skype? because i think i have been blocked too, but im not sure. i know that when they delete you, we have a question mark, but blocked ? i dont know how to know? )
anyway, i agree with you, i wonder how people keep finding something positive when we feel hopeless and when the one we love, left.
I'm in almost the same position as you, so all i can do is sending you my courage to you. i do hope for you she will come back in a way or another. i really do.
Post by: DittyDotty on January 11, 2014, 12:23:47 PM
They key here is to realise that we have no control over other peoples actions or thoughts BUT we spend a lot of time worrying about them because we assume we have.
Why is she upset?
Did she do that because I said x,y,z?
We can not control other peoples actions, we can only control our reaction and if we spend time thinking why, how, when, who, it sends signs to the universe as desperation and neediness. The other person picks up on those vibes and backs off.
Many people think LOA is about control. It is not, it is about consent. Whether that is our consent or another persons
Let's break this sentence, that you wrote Laxman.
After everything horrible that she told me, - You are still holding grudges there. Negative energy. If it did not bother you, you would not even think about it. You are playing the victim.
I'd still give her a chance to apologize ; You do not have this power to give her in the first place. By saying this, it indicates to the universe, that you considered yourself on a higher pedestal because you feel wounded by her. She can only give her consent to give you the apology.
but she doesn't care at all about what I feel or think : The universe does not want to know what you think, she care about your feelings. You don't have control over whether she cares about you, you only have the ability to prompt her to care about you, you only have the ability to help her give herself consent to care about you.
Your whole post is littered with statements like that
You need to get back to basics - Dig deep into your mind. The places of your mind that you fear to go. Memories that you hate. People that you are scared of. Break down the brick walls that general society has promoted you to build.
Be yourself. Wake up every morning with a strong passion for life. Have determination. Only when you are truly in love with yourself, can use LOA in your life.
So in your scenario - the outcome can be one of many but it will depend on whether you using LOA to control other peoples action or prompt them into giving consent to spend time with you. For example you met her for a drink
Outcome A : She picks up on vibes that you are uncomfortable. She picks up on vibes of insecurity. Because you have self doubts in your mind, about yourself, she senses a desperate need for friendship. someone that can not be at one with themsleves. She backs off because she has her own problems, insecurities and issues to deal with. Every sentence you say makes her think you are trying to control what her response will be.
Outcome B : She meets you and is surprised. You are happy, confident, you are pulsating with positivity. She does not sense neediness or desperation. The conversation is going well. you are both laughing and talking non step. She feels no negativity, no one trying to control her emotions, no one trying to break down her brick walls. In fact, she feels damn good and decides to open up to you. Bingo, there is the consent.
Don't try to fake the person in scenario B, you have to be him, down to your inner core.
Remember
Consent not control
Desires not fears
Want not need
Achieve inner peace
Hard to do but once you get there, wow it is amazing
Post by: Laxman2 on January 11, 2014, 02:13:23 PM
I wrote an elaborate response to your summary but just decided to keep it short: your reply makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and has nothing to do with what I was describing in my post.
And LOA? It's a load of crap. If a person cannot accept you at your darkest hour then they don't deserve you at your brightest. Some people suffer from depression and other illnesses they cannot shrug off and " let go" in order to try to please the person they want in their life. It's almost insulting that people actually believe in that self-help positive energy crap. If you are yourself, not matter how dark or bright that might be, someone will want you for you and not because of some hudu three step book towards finding their version of "love."
There will never be a perfect person for anyone, only two imperfect people making the best of it together.
Not once did I mention control, or grudges, or being a victim, or forcing her to do anything. Never. Not even in underlying tones! I have no idea where you are getting even half of the things your seem to think you know about this situation.
I'd give her a chance to apologize not because she has to, not because I expect it or demand it, but because that's what human beings do if they hurt someone they care about. I would do the same, I know I have a lot to apologize for even if some of it a wasn't "wrong" to do, it might have been a wrong time, wrong word, wrong tone...there are many reasons to apologize to someone...it doesn't mean one person or the other is better.
You give someone a chance to apologize for the hurtful things they said because maybe they would like you to know they never meant to hurt you. I know it wasn't her intention to hurt me, it didn't mean I didn't feel that way. It's not an obligation, nor did I ever say it was.
You made it sound like it was and that's your wording, not mine.
In fact, if the mountains crumble into the sea one day and she calls to apologize I wouldn't accept it, I'd tell her it's okay and that she did what felt right for herself and that while it hurt, it was something I needed to hear. People don't apologize because they have to, they apologize because they didn't mean to hurt you.
Post by: DittyDotty on January 11, 2014, 04:25:19 PM
Quote from: Laxman2 on January 11, 2014, 02:13:23 PM
And LOA? It's a load of crap.
So it will never work for you then. What makes you think something will work if you don't believe in it? That is like never reading books, saying they are a load of crap but then having aspirations to be a world famous author.
Quote from: Laxman2 on January 11, 2014, 02:13:23 PM
If a person cannot accept you at your darkest hour then they don't deserve you at your brightest.
Define darkest hour. 99.9% of people on this planet can not deal with anyone when they are in their darkest hour. The darkest hour is when you are truly on the brink. When you have truly given up and want your life to end. When all motivation and passion for life has disappeared. When committing suicide is not a fleeting thought, but a permanent idea in your head. When you actually take actions to do it.
Now if you are talking about dark hours, ie sad moments, the times you want to cry, the times you just need a cuddle and hug. The times that you just want someone to reassure you, then you can attract someone using LOA who will care and support you in the dark hours as well as the brightest.
Quote from: Laxman2 on January 11, 2014, 02:13:23 PM
Some people suffer from depression and other illnesses they cannot shrug off and " let go" in order to try to please the person they want in their life. It's almost insulting that people actually believe in that self-help positive energy crap.
Definitely true. I have had three bouts of serious depression in my life and each one of them started because I was trying to please other people all the time. I based my existence and happiness on other people. I assumed I had no internal power. With each bout of depression, I failed to carry out my ultimate wish and that was to die. I researched suicide on the internet and what was the easiest way to do it with no pain. This self help energy positive crap, as you politely termed it, is the only thing that has worked. It is almost insulating that you have not researched it, studied it, or practised it before you came to the conclusion that it was crap.
Quote from: Laxman2 on January 11, 2014, 02:13:23 PM
If you are yourself, not matter how dark or bright that might be, someone will want you for you and not because of some hudu three step book towards finding their version of "love."
Really? Do people want to stay with people who are insecure, needy, desperate, paranoid, angery, domestic voilence, financial reasons, need to control their partner etc etc. They might out of obligation or because it is easier than facing the world on their own. But over time, the energy is drained or circumstances occur because one or both partners have manifested their fears.
If you are refering to a one off moment of darkness, this can be sorted with a loving partner yes.
Quote from: Laxman2 on January 11, 2014, 02:13:23 PM
There will never be a perfect person for anyone, only two imperfect people making the best of it together.
Why make the best of it? Two imperfect people can have all they desire. They can have happy lives. They can work together to overcome fear, failures and disappointment. nobody has to make the best of anything. We have the choice to gain the best of what we want.
Quote from: Laxman2 on January 11, 2014, 02:13:23 PM
Not once did I mention control, or grudges, or being a victim, or forcing her to do anything. Never. Not even in underlying tones! I have no idea where you are getting even half of the things your seem to think you know about this situation.
Pay a lot of attention to the written word then. If I judged the situation wrongly, I apologise but please be more specific with your words so there is no mis-understanding. This is one of the downsides to the internet because we are not speaking to people face to face.
Quote from: Laxman2 on January 11, 2014, 02:13:23 PM
I'd give her a chance to apologize not because she has to, not because I expect it or demand it, but because that's what human beings do if they hurt someone they care about. I would do the same, I know I have a lot to apologize for even if some of it a wasn't "wrong" to do, it might have been a wrong time, wrong word, wrong tone...there are many reasons to apologize to someone...it doesn't mean one person or the other is better.
It doesn't matter on whether you would so the same or not. Your sentence which says you would give her the chance because quote "that's what human beings do if they hurt someone they care about" unquote. This shows that you expect it. This sentence suggests you are still harbouring negative feelings because she has hurt you.
Forget about manners. You do not have control over other peoples manners, only yours. Apologies also give focus to the past. This is not about the past, this is about the future and what you want. You can encourage her to give you an apology through your actions towards her, but you can not expect it because it is common decent manners.
Quote from: Laxman2 on January 11, 2014, 02:13:23 PM
You give someone a chance to apologize for the hurtful things they said because maybe they would like you to know they never meant to hurt you. I know it wasn't her intention to hurt me, it didn't mean I didn't feel that way. It's not an obligation, nor did I ever say it was.
You made it sound like it was and that's your wording, not mine.
Once again, remember the power of the written word. How we write is a reflection of ourselves.
Quote from: Laxman2 on January 11, 2014, 02:13:23 PM
In fact, if the mountains crumble into the sea one day and she calls to apologize I wouldn't accept it, I'd tell her it's okay and that she did what felt right for herself and that while it hurt, it was something I needed to hear. People don't apologize because they have to, they apologize because they didn't mean to hurt you.
Bingo, up until your last sentence.
Apologies come in many forms - sometimes we don't actually say the word because our lips won't let us. It is called pride.
Sometimes, we do actually mean to harm people but we do not realize we were wrong until many years later.
Sometimes apologies are fake
Sometimes are apologies are said with ulterior motives in mind
Sometimes two people are just so connected, there is no need for anyone to say sorry. Each person just knows.
Post by: DFjoie on January 13, 2014, 06:32:18 AM
Hi everyone, I'm new here.
I read the first page but skimmed through the third page because it started to gather some negativity and I do not like dealing with negativity especially when its something important as matters of the heart. No offence intended there, just stating my opinion.
Anyways, I was reading that if they put to much effort into not wanting to communicate with you, it is because it is down to some link still being in existence. Positive or negative, it is there.
Anyways, I would like and I do (inter-changeable at this moment) believe in LOA. I think it is true because it is everywhere but under different terms (I have done some research on this).
When it comes to getting EXes back, I think expectation on their sides, like they should do this for you to make you feel better, has got to stop. At the moment they owe us nothing, and that should not stop or predict how you feel about them. If you just feel something for them because they give something in return then you love them for the wrong reasons. It's not being about in denial or not being practical. It is about knowing the truth within yourself and foregoing other current physical or situation evidence that is happening right now.
At the moment, the man of my dreams etc. is not with me, we broke up and its been 3 months and counting. He is also with someone else right now. Still it does not change the fact how I feel for him and how I still hope that one day we are going to be OK. Right now, unless I let that fear leave our body because of expectations particularly from them, then right now is not the best time to communicate with them.
I am looking around the post because I believe the answers are out there if we really look. At this moment it is not going to come from the person we love, it is going to come internally and around us but you have to look and be hopeful.
Post by: Dfvm000 on January 29, 2014, 01:53:37 PM
I'm in this situation as well. Me and my last ex (we broke up like a year ago) haven't talk for 3 months now. Some time ago, she unfriended me (not blocked) from FB. I went forward and deleted my account, not because she deleted me, but because FB isn't useful to me anymore. Yesterday, she deleted me off Skype. I deleted her too!
I don't know why she did this, seeing that the last kind of contact that we had was a "happy birthday" I sent to her and she didn't even answer!
Is she still bothered? Does she want me to react?
To tell you the truth, she's the woman of my life. We had a very good relationship, even though it ended fast. I only keep good memories of people, no matter how bad they've been to me, so I don't have bad things to say. It was her decision to end everything, and I complied. Now, this happens. Is she trying to say something?
Post by: astralkitty on February 06, 2014, 01:22:42 PM
Hmmmm.
You know what..my ex blocked me back in 2011 and I just focused on myself since then even though I still miss him (as a friend now) but the weird part is, since then we have not spoken to each other one bit. 3 years gone by and still nothing. I really wish for us to be friends again someday and to move on from all the negativity that was left in the past.
3 years though...and still nothing. 😮 I'm still hoping though that we will be friends at least, but at the same time i'm letting it go. I am positive though that he will message me one day on Facebook out of the blue. I imagine him doing so but maybe I'm not doing this Loa correctly since i've been thinking about it for awhile....it doesn't matter though. If it happens then that's great, and if it doesn't than I guess it's too bad.....even though I miss him and want to connect with him again.
Meh.
Post by: Aldebaran on April 07, 2014, 09:35:09 PM
THanks a lot Tulip!! I will have to remember to read this thread and original message over and over again. So much wisdom here!!!!
Namaskar!
Post by: jibbity_flib on May 14, 2014, 07:09:28 PM
hey guys... Sorry to bump the post. Just stumbled across this... What a good read.
Hoping someone can give me a little bit of good advice hehe... Ok so here goes eeek
My boyfriend (now ex) is suffering with depression, hes 100% pushed me out and ended us. Said hes confused and doesnt know what he wants.
We was only together a couple of months and sounds cliche but the relationship was perfect, it was fast but it was natural to us both. We met each others children, we had great family days out, We were partners in crime until he became very distant.
Its now been 2 weeks since we broke up, first trying to be his friend (whilst hurting badly) in the hope we could reconcile, i gave him the space he wanted and tried to be strong for him. In between we had the occasional text conversation, some were emotional where hes told me how much hes missed me, how much i mean to him etc.
But last Friday he told me it was time to move on because we want different things? Naturally im confused and questioning myself as to what i could have done to make it work, why wasnt i good enough etc.
I didnt reply to this text as i was too hurt and i didnt wanna add pressure on him at this hard time.. And we havent spoken since. The following day he likes my profile picture on facebook, now this morning (4 days no contact) hes randomly blocked me, not just me but my daughter too?
Im utterly baffled right now 🙁
Post by: Loulou on June 08, 2014, 09:09:35 PM
I was wondering if you could advise me on my current situation.
My ex and i were in a long distance relationship for 2.5 yrs. We broke up last december and he initiated 1.5 months later, after going through with no contact, but he wasnt saying much, He eventually reached a point where he told his best friend that he wouldnt find anyone like me and he asked to speak to me. We spoke and he told me how he had gone on 7 dates with this girl which he supposedly compared to me the whole time. She lost her job and she moved back to her country was what he told me. Anyways i told him when he spoke to me that he was not saying what he had told his best friend, and that he wasnt saying what he wanted again. i told him i would not be his friend, or be with someone that was unsure of me but that if he wanted me and was unsure of how we would go about it then we could talk about it. (The whole conversation despite him telling me about this girl was really good,i believed) he said he would call me the next day and i told him the weekend would be better. By the weekend he said i am not ready for us to get back together and i cannot come to a conclusion. That if i wanted one more conversation with him or anything he would make time. I replied i think thats fr the best, the next day he replied saying take care and god bless you and your family.
Ofcourse about 10 days later his best friend that lives in the same country as me contacted me saying she heard what had happened and i broke down. He supposedly had opted for the girl he was having a fling with.
He texted me a few days later congratulating me on passing a major exam, but i didnt answer him, cause i felt like he was messing with my head. A few days later he blocked me on whatsapp and he doesnt have facebook.
Im distraught, and i want nothing more than to be with him, what should i do? Do you think it is likely that he will unvlock me?
Many many thanks in advance
Post by: Loulou on June 30, 2014, 03:47:40 AM
Guys what should I do if my ex has just unblocked me?
Post by: Anna1408 on July 09, 2014, 08:12:45 PM
Loulou if he unblocks you I think you should do nothing. Keep visualizing/RS-ing him. Let him come to you. Wait for him to contact you first.
I have been blocked by my guy (as I posted about) but I noticed one weird thing. Several months ago he made three different secret groups in FB just for the two of us where we could post romantic notes/pics to each other or talk about things that we wanted to have in our life/our ideal world together. Even though I have been blocked from his FB page I have not been banned from those groups (although I now dont have the possibility to reply to his posts there). And I noticed that over the past 3 days he has posted 3 times in one of them. Nothing romantic, but one of them is something that I think he would have picked knowing I would like it. But the questions in my mind were: why did he not block me from those groups (he has done before in the past) and why is he posting in one of them if he has banned me from his life?
Post by: sandi on July 20, 2014, 10:24:00 AM
I've been blocked for 2 years or so now lol.
Post by: Anna1408 on July 22, 2014, 04:31:24 AM
Mine unblocked me 3 days ago. I think what someone said on this thread is often right: when they block you it means there are strong emotions there.
Post by: wwesrk on July 22, 2014, 05:46:23 AM
how are there strong emotions?
Post by: tflo on July 22, 2014, 08:05:30 AM
Quote from: Anna1408 on July 22, 2014, 04:31:24 AM
Mine unblocked me 3 days ago. I think what someone said on this thread is often right: when they block you it means there are strong emotions there.
You know, I can agree with you on there. It doesn't matter if the emotions are good or bad, the fact is that they're strong on the subject and that kind of stimulus will cause them to come and keep wanting to keep away.
I can say that as a fact for my situation with this girl i've been trying to get back recently.
She ended up creating a page on fb and after i left a comment, she disabled comments on there, considering her feelings and attitude towards me are still completely bad and strong towards me, but eventually she'll end up letting go and want to come around for me, mostly because she'll realize that she's bona completely off the wall when it comes to me. I can feel and see her coming her way around towards me, mostly because I think she's coming to realize her own personal feelings for me as well.
I really feel like i'm getting really close to getting her back, I can feel it. I can feel that reconciliation coming up to me.
Post by: Anna1408 on July 22, 2014, 08:16:13 PM
Hi wweserk. I mean that a lot of people block you not because they don't care about you, but because they have very strong feelings about you. It's not that they don't care..it's that they DO care. In some cases that could be a way of punishing you. It is a kind of weapon in the same way that sulking is between two people who care about each other a lot.
Yes tflo I think you are right. I think the important thing for you now is to keep calm and let her come to you (which she will if her feelings are that strong). When he blocked me, I had the feeling that my guy wanted me to come back to him on my knees begging for him to love me again. He wanted me to prove my love. When I didn't, he started to feel a bit shaky about what he had done. That's what happens. They block you to make a point and when you don't come crawling back to them they start missing you. My guy tells me that he thought of contacting me a couple of times while we weren't speaking. He said he had a very strong urge to do so. It could be the same with your girl also. So even if you are hearing nothing from her right now it doesn't mean she is not thinking of you. If you were that significant in her life then she probably IS thinking about you.
Post by: kpl on July 22, 2014, 08:53:43 PM
my ex blocked me on the phone b/c he said he couldn't stop thinking about me...
Post by: havefaith91 on July 22, 2014, 09:27:10 PM
I agree with Anna blocking someone is done out of the feelings that a person has for you. This is a good thing!!! See it as a good thing. Dont let it affect you. You can always visualize them unblocking you. And they will!! Just keep the positive vibes up and have faith in yourself and the universe that it is truly possible.
Post by: tflo on July 22, 2014, 11:00:38 PM
Quote from: Anna1408 on July 22, 2014, 08:16:13 PM
Yes tflo I think you are right. I think the important thing for you now is to keep calm and let her come to you (which she will if her feelings are that strong). When he blocked me, I had the feeling that my guy wanted me to come back to him on my knees begging for him to love me again. He wanted me to prove my love. When I didn't, he started to feel a bit shaky about what he had done. That's what happens. They block you to make a point and when you don't come crawling back to them they start missing you. My guy tells me that he thought of contacting me a couple of times while we weren't speaking. He said he had a very strong urge to do so. It could be the same with your girl also. So even if you are hearing nothing from her right now it doesn't mean she is not thinking of you. If you were that significant in her life then she probably IS thinking about you.
It's complicated. When she speaks to me, there's this kind of subtlety of intimacy to her words when we communicate. One minute she can be mean, just because she likes to, but she's always cared, despite when she always keeps saying, "we were never friends, I never even thought of you even once." But knowing her, I think that's just her just saying that to keep a front with me. She's always been like that with her feelings until she comes around and get's all intimate with her words.
We never went steady and went out alone once, but i was too overwhelmed by my feelings for her that it scared her, and i honestly thought she was completely open and receptive to it. We hadn't talked in years, she was seeing someone, or alot of guys (as always) but when we used to be friends, she'd always come and sit next to me and felt a sense of being comfortable, being safe with me. I kind of think she's been thinking about it after I've sent her a couple of e-mails and knowing how I communicated to her, I'm sure it's completely stirred up alot of rather positive good vibes and feelings in her and she wants to come around. It's just that she's just very scared of ever wanting to become hurt or breaking our trust again. I keep praying for her tho. I know for a fact she'll come around and allow those intimate feelings to come and overtake her like mine always do for her.
Post by: witherspon on July 24, 2014, 05:57:56 PM
So i totally agree with this
Switch your thoughts to something more positive because let me tell you- there are 2 reasons why an ex would block you:
1. They are hurting. I blocked my ex because I couldn't stomach seeing pictures of him- eventually, I just deleted my account.
2. To provoke a reaction out of you
Now if you ignore the temporary bump and continue focusing on YOU and not them- time will make them wonder why on earth you don't care- curiosity will make them reach out and get in touch be it 3 weeks or 3 months.
My ex just did that after exactly 1 month of no contact, he blocked me for a day then unblocked me. Should I contact him however? Or wait for him to contact me?
Post by: SilverSprings on July 25, 2014, 08:10:34 AM
Quote from: Anna1408 on July 22, 2014, 04:31:24 AM
Mine unblocked me 3 days ago. I think what someone said on this thread is often right: when they block you it means there are strong emotions there.
Yep, it's true. If I didn't give a shit about getting him back I would have him unblocked. I block him because I don't want us to find things out about each other through social media. Although he did find my Instagram which is wide open haha. If they block you they most likely don't want to learn things through Facebook too.
Post by: bravelioness on July 26, 2014, 09:39:20 PM
I'm not so good about relationships. Well, me and my online student (we're same age) really aren't bf/gf but I do like him. I could sense that he felt awkward because I get jealous when he sticks around with women but he doesn't know that I get jealous when he books other tutors besides me because he thinks that I have no connections with other tutors. I would always check on his FB and like and/or comment to his pictures. He liked my last comment on his picture then after that he unfriended me. Well, I think that would be better than a block maybe? Well, to be honest, I was hurt but I didn't go to his FB to add him as a friend again. I just let it be. It hurts but I know I have to be ok. This is my plan:
1. focus on my job and studies
2. hang-out with my other friends who are available
3. resume working out at the gym
Could you give me more advices? I want him back even just as a friend for now and I'll see where this takes us.
Many thanks.
Post by: love_to_look on August 30, 2014, 12:16:52 AM
my ex i notice he block me or delete me on Skype when i message him on Facebook saying that suddenly he deleted me on Facebook also, honestly i not feel hurt really because i know already the situation he don't love me anymore he said that he ash new gf already ,wondering to my self why he need to delete me or block me i not even contact him anymore because i accept the act that he don't love me and he don;t need me in my life for me deleting or blocking someone or ex on any social media i think its so immature to do also i felt he has anger to me because if am nothing to him he don't care block or delete me . always start to our self accept into our heart that over is over then we will never get affected whatever we see around us , because we are matured person already , also he block me he can go to his son account account to see me there likewise me too if i block him i can to my sister or brother account to see him too .. so what i did is to start to my self accept to my heart and things you not get affected .. seems he is not mature person or he really angry at me for me i don't have anything issue or anger to him because i already accept the fact...
Post by: SW87 on October 30, 2014, 10:56:09 PM
Hi, I'm new here and reading this post made me feel better about my current situation.
I've recently undergone a break up with my ex girlfriend, we had an up and down relationship - we both had our faults but through all this there was a genuine love and real affection and we had some truly amazing times together, some of the happiest ever. Unfortunately it came to a head recently, even though we'd agreed on giving it another shot and everything from then on in happened pretty fast - One day she was saying she missed me and was thinking of me, even though we'd had a tough time of it recently, the next I had a 4 minute call of sobbing saying it was over. I had a few texts the next day that were quite vicious and hurtful and then she proceeded to block me - my number, facebook, whatsapp and Instagram. To say I was devastated is an understatement.
It's coming up to 2 weeks and nothing has changed, I miss her but I know from past experience that begging is not the thing to do in such scenario's, so as hard as it has been I've not emailed her or gone to see her and I've had to walk away.
I rack my mind as to whether she is thinking of me or will I ever hear from her again? We shared many good times and had a strong emotional connection and as cliché as it reads on posts such as this - we were in love and for my part I still am.
I've been through break ups before, but none that have ever been like this with all contact blocked and cut and if truth be told, this was the most meaningful to me so I'm at bit of a loss.
Could anyone offer any advice? Thanks for reading.
Post by: Soleil on October 30, 2014, 11:08:08 PM
Hi SW,
The reason one would block you on anything is because they CARE.. If they didn't care they wouldn't bother to block you!
She's trying to cope her feelings towards you by blocking you..
On the other hand, her acting warm and cold means nothing else but that she's not sure she wants to be with you.. That's why you're doing a good job by not contacting and pushing her in any way.. You need to let her BE, let her be on her own and decide what she wants..
Post by: SW87 on October 30, 2014, 11:23:52 PM
Quote from: Soleil on October 30, 2014, 11:08:08 PM
Hi SW,
The reason one would block you on anything is because they CARE.. If they didn't care they wouldn't bother to block you!
She's trying to cope her feelings towards you by blocking you..
On the other hand, her acting warm and cold means nothing else but that she's not sure she wants to be with you.. That's why you're doing a good job by not contacting and pushing her in any way.. You need to let her BE, let her be on her own and decide what she wants..
Thank you for your reply. I think I've made it sound like she has been very hot and cold throughout our time together but this isn't the case. There was always a lot of affection between us. Her sudden change of mind is what I'm referring to in general and as I've looked to explain, we did have a rough week that followed some really good times - It's that sudden change of mind from agreeing to give things another go, to basically breaking up and then blocking all contact.
It doesn't seem natural to me, or fair for that matter - that's what I suppose I'm finding hard to deal with.
Thanks again.
Post by: feliciahardy on October 31, 2014, 12:45:48 AM
The same has happened to me, he blocked me on facebook after i deleted him, so yeah look on the positive side that it means that they care, most likely she doesn't want to see your stuff and have all the memories flood back. Think of it as a positive thing, its been easy for me because now i can really implement NC and im not able to look at his stuff and feel sad. There's other threads on here that talk about being unblocked. I know its hard, but who knows, down the line she'll probably unblock you. I wish you the best! And keep living everyday with your happiness in mind -- dont look back!
Post by: Catlover84 on October 31, 2014, 04:04:56 AM
Mine blocked me after my friend finally got the last of my stuff from our house. I'm his first gf ever. It's been so painful.
Post by: Anna1408 on October 31, 2014, 04:54:58 AM
Hi SW87,
Well I agree with the others here that she actually blocked you because she DOES care.
My love has blocked me several times and always did it by sending extremely spiteful emails to me first. I suggest no contact. In my case, whenever I tried to contact I was either ignored, or given a very impolite "get lost" email. So I would avoid contact and try to let go. At first that is difficult as your emotions are all over the place, but if you can just get yourself together, detach, and believe that she will come back, then you are sending out the vibration that is necessary for what you want to manifest.
If you stay in no contact, she will most likely start wondering why you are not trying to get her back, and she may be feeling sad about how you can so easily forget her (this is what my love told me he feels whenever I don't make any effort to contact him after being blocked). Eventually she should come to you of her own accord. In my case it has usually been "I miss you" or "can we talk?" emails that I receive from my bf.
I did use RS as well, but if you don't want to do that, creative visualization works very well on its own, and it is quick to do. Just get into a relaxed state and close your eyes. Then imagine her getting in contact with you and your being unblocked. I would imagine my love's green light being on in my gmail (indicating that I was unblocked), and receiving an email from him. So far that has always happened.
Post by: SW87 on October 31, 2014, 01:09:40 PM
Thank you all for your replies, they have been comforting and encouraging.
I don't really have any choice but to go it no contact because the only means I have of contacting her is via email or to actually go and see her. I haven't emailed her and I have decided against just showing up at her house - I feel this would just exasperate the situation.
She has a lot of my stuff at her place and she told a mutual friend she would post it last week, it's been over a week now and I still haven't had anything, so in a way, with her blocking all means of contact and not sending my stuff, part of me thinks she wants to force me into going to her house. At this point and from the way she's acted I can only assume with negative motives in mind.
To me this is the ultimate act of someone being controlling - she has all the power.
It's not a nice place to be in and I'm sure she knows this.
I will try visualisation technique to see if I can get some sort of contact initiated by her, that way hopefully I will not feel like I'm in limbo wondering what to do next.
Is this the best course of action? Thanks.
Post by: TheBigDawg02 on October 31, 2014, 06:06:27 PM
Quote from: SW87 on October 31, 2014, 01:09:40 PM
At this point and from the way she's acted I can only assume with negative motives in mind.
Hi How are you ?
Im actually new to your situation. Do not know all the details. But That One sentence puzzled me. It intrigued me. I visit this site to help those in need, or those who inbox me. But this situation that you are in you have not seen the beauty in it. I saw the blessing within as soon as I read it.....You see in order to succeed in this life, or an any endeavor, you partly have to be disillusioned in your thinking. You can not ASSUME, the worst..... Maybe she just doesn't want to give your stuff back, because she is not ready to be done with you.... Like I said I don't know the entire story, I don't know How long you have been separated, but what I do know, is that thinking the worst will not get you anything you desire.... remaining optimistic, seeing blessings in your situations, and see the TRUTH in it, will give you the PEEACE, you seek...... WILL your gf situation change this moment.. NO maybe not... But that peace you get, the peace you feel will help propel you to manifesting anything.. because you have laid your egoic mind to rest....
Post by: SW87 on October 31, 2014, 06:35:45 PM
Quote from: TheBigDawg02 on October 31, 2014, 06:06:27 PM
Quote from: SW87 on October 31, 2014, 01:09:40 PM
At this point and from the way she's acted I can only assume with negative motives in mind.
Hi How are you ?
Im actually new to your situation. Do not know all the details. But That One sentence puzzled me. It intrigued me. I visit this site to help those in need, or those who inbox me. But this situation that you are in you have not seen the beauty in it. I saw the blessing within as soon as I read it.....You see in order to succeed in this life, or an any endeavor, you partly have to be disillusioned in your thinking. You can not ASSUME, the worst..... Maybe she just doesn't want to give your stuff back, because she is not ready to be done with you.... Like I said I don't know the entire story, I don't know How long you have been separated, but what I do know, is that thinking the worst will not get you anything you desire.... remaining optimistic, seeing blessings in your situations, and see the TRUTH in it, will give you the PEEACE, you seek...... WILL your gf situation change this moment.. NO maybe not... But that peace you get, the peace you feel will help propel you to manifesting anything.. because you have laid your egoic mind to rest....
Hi, thanks for your reply.
I'm glad you pulled me up on this, after writing it and reading it back I realised how contradictory that sentence is and how it would work against what I'm trying to do. Negative thinking on my part also worked against me in the eventual breakdown of the relationship - and this is something I have come to realise.
To give you some background information, we have been separated now for 2 weeks and the point you raise, as to the reasoning behind not getting my stuff back yet has also crossed my mind. Has she left the door open for me to go and get it back in the hope of reconciliation, is she keeping it back because she doesn't want to let go?
I realise thinking the positives will make the situation easier and may bare results, however, it's the things she has said prior to this that put a negative slant on things. Things like it's over for good, we've come to the end, she made the right choice etc
I'm not a newcomer to serious relationships, but each is always different in correlation to the specific person you're with - but I can't be sure if she means these things or they have been said in anger because she is scared and is protecting herself.
Thanks for the continued input, it's much appreciated.
Post by: zelda_120 on October 31, 2014, 06:42:28 PM
SW87,
What she said or did now isn't important.
My guy blocked me everywhere during the first breakup, told me that "you are not the one. We are never getting back together."
Still, I attracted him back.
People change, reality change. What she thinks now isn't important
Post by: SW87 on October 31, 2014, 06:51:21 PM
Quote from: zelda_120 on October 31, 2014, 06:42:28 PM
SW87,
What she said or did now isn't important.
My guy blocked me everywhere during the first breakup, told me that "you are not the one. We are never getting back together."
Still, I attracted him back.
People change, reality change. What she thinks now isn't important
Hi, thanks for your reply.
Could you share with me some of the things you did to achieve this? I realise people change and situations change, I just need the tools to make things happen. I have been thinking positive thoughts, I want to make things right.
Post by: zelda_120 on October 31, 2014, 06:56:39 PM
Quote from: SW87 on October 31, 2014, 06:51:21 PM
Quote from: zelda_120 on October 31, 2014, 06:42:28 PM
SW87,
What she said or did now isn't important.
My guy blocked me everywhere during the first breakup, told me that "you are not the one. We are never getting back together."
Still, I attracted him back.
People change, reality change. What she thinks now isn't important
Hi, thanks for your reply.
Could you share with me some of the things you did to achieve this? I realise people change and situations change, I just need the tools to make things happen. I have been thinking positive thoughts, I want to make things right.
http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/index.php?topic=13864.msg115450#msg115450 (http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/index.php?topic=13864.msg115450#msg115450)
^The above is the guide I wrote after I reunited with my boyfriend(I have written down some of the methods I used)
I am now attracting the same boyfriend back as I attracted a breakup again
http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/index.php?topic=18868.msg154172;topicseen#new (http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/index.php?topic=18868.msg154172;topicseen#new) <-I shared some quotes from Neville at the latest post, you can check it out.
Having positive thoughts isn't enough, You have to have FAITH.
You don't need any tools, You need FAITH.
Post by: SW87 on October 31, 2014, 07:05:20 PM
Quote from: zelda_120 on October 31, 2014, 06:56:39 PM
Quote from: SW87 on October 31, 2014, 06:51:21 PM
Quote from: zelda_120 on October 31, 2014, 06:42:28 PM
SW87,
What she said or did now isn't important.
My guy blocked me everywhere during the first breakup, told me that "you are not the one. We are never getting back together."
Still, I attracted him back.
People change, reality change. What she thinks now isn't important
Hi, thanks for your reply.
Could you share with me some of the things you did to achieve this? I realise people change and situations change, I just need the tools to make things happen. I have been thinking positive thoughts, I want to make things right.
[url]http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/index.php?topic=13864.msg115450#msg115450[/url] ([url]http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/index.php?topic=13864.msg115450#msg115450[/url])
^The above is the guide I wrote after I reunited with my boyfriend(I have written down some of the methods I used)
I am now attracting the same boyfriend back as I attracted a breakup again
[url]http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/index.php?topic=18868.msg154172;topicseen#new[/url] ([url]http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/index.php?topic=18868.msg154172;topicseen#new[/url]) <-I shared some quotes from Neville at the latest post, you can check it out.
Having positive thoughts isn't enough, You have to have FAITH.
You don't need any tools, You need FAITH.
Thank you for this
Post by: kpl on October 31, 2014, 07:13:21 PM
Don't look at it like she has the power. Look at it like you are controlling the situation and choosing not to contact. When you start to discuss power struggles in relationships you are not in a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is both parties mutually coming together, power is the ego - there is no power.
Post by: Soleil on October 31, 2014, 07:40:42 PM
I don't agree.. There IS power.. and the power we talk about in fact is ENERGY! Everything is about energy..in life, in relationships.. We attract with energy (vibrations)..
But... the point is that this energy has to be in BALANCE! For you your energy has to be centered on yourself and the energy of your partner on him/her.. When it's like that, the relation between you two is also balanced..
In the case when the relationship is broken, usually one partner has to put his energy (power ) back on themselves.. and like that renew the balance between the two..
SW87 is the one who has to do it.. How? By retiring his 'energy' (power) off to himself..For some time he would have to even not think about her,because when he does, he gives away his power to her..
Post by: SW87 on November 04, 2014, 09:56:06 PM
I had my stuff back through the post on Friday. There was no note or anything of any comfort or encouragement and this hurt a lot - almost as much as breaking up in the first place.
I wrote a letter, nothing deep or begging for her back, just to air my feelings but I haven't sent it and I don't know whether I should.
I'm trying to see the positives but I must admit that the last few days have been very hard and I'm at a low ebb. A lot of friends have given their opinion but these just cloud my judgement.
I really thought I would have heard something back but it's like she has just completely forgotten about me and I don't exist.
Pretty heartbroken right now.
Post by: AngelusofftheSea on November 04, 2014, 10:11:16 PM
Quote from: SW87 on November 04, 2014, 09:56:06 PM
I had my stuff back through the post on Friday. There was no note or anything of any comfort or encouragement and this hurt a lot - almost as much as breaking up in the first place.
I wrote a letter, nothing deep or begging for her back, just to air my feelings but I haven't sent it and I don't know whether I should.
I'm trying to see the positives but I must admit that the last few days have been very hard and I'm at a low ebb. A lot of friends have given their opinion but these just cloud my judgement.
I really thought I would have heard something back but it's like she has just completely forgotten about me and I don't exist.
Pretty heartbroken right now.
Dear Divine One,
Don't be heartbroken. Today is your lucky day, your appointed time is now. You must not read or think about being blocked, you must take control of your life. Here this is the post for you, read it from beginning. It is Shitom's thread on Superman. Superman has much wisdom on there with a map to taking control of your love life, destiny and dreams back. You have the power within. Go read now:
http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/index.php?topic=17934.0 (http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/index.php?topic=17934.0)
Namaste,
Angelus
Post by: feliciahardy on November 12, 2014, 01:35:29 PM
I got unblocked!
Not sure when, i hadn't checked once since i found out he first did, but yeah a month later, i was unblocked
never lose hope! Honestly, im not sure exactly how it happened. I've been doubting my vibrations, since i had my bad days and i was never 100% positive (but really, i dont think thats humanly possible, we all have our lows) but it happened. No complaints, i feel like i have a bit more closure now. Im hoping this will really help me let go completely.
Post by: isbela.ella on November 12, 2014, 05:54:30 PM
hello guys .. i don't know what happened exactly but i need your opinion .. i start visualise before yesterday about he'll msg me by saying "i miss you!?" and i didn't see his facebook for 4 days or week i don't remember and we are not friends on the facebook but he kind of person not make his facebook private but when i see his facebook yesterday he make everything as a private i mean everything even the old posts just his cover photo cuz he couldn't make it as a private i don't know if he makes it private before or after i visulaise this and i don't know is this related to me or just like that without thinking of me what do you think ?
Post by: isbela.ella on November 12, 2014, 08:51:59 PM
Anyone?
Post by: Pari on November 12, 2014, 09:45:01 PM
Hey isbela.ella
you do your job, if you are visualizing do it will full faith/believe and do it for your fun...and if you know he is yours he will be yours.. its all about how you take it.. if you doubt things wont work out....
just focus on your goal and have faith in your ability to achieve that...dont get sad and dont go and check your FB a/c again and again....
Pari :-*
Post by: isbela.ella on November 13, 2014, 01:33:35 AM
Thank you pari
But this is the way to become positive when i wa see his facebook and what is he doing i become happy but now with this eerything itis privaite idon't know why he do that is he still thinking about me or he just make it privaite for diffrent reason :-[
Post by: jedeye on April 29, 2015, 11:34:14 PM
Hi. I may be a little different here since I am 48 years old and as heartbroken as a high school kid. Its been six months and I am nowhere near getting over him.
I was married for almost 21 years. My ex got a rare disease when we were married just 4 years and our son was only 18 months old. I stuck with it but year after year and his attitude just kept getting worse and worse. I couldn't work because I was needed at home to care for him and our kid. I was - and am again - miserable
I finally made the decision to divorce him and then I was reunited with an old friend of mine. I want to say these two things were totally independent of each other. My friend and I started talking, and then texting everyday. He was 500 miles away so I didn;t get to see him but a couple of times and even then it was all platonic. Overtime I fell in love with him. He wanted to go back to school so I said after my divorce was final I'd save up and move out and help him out.
Well it took about a year after that to save up money and I did move out there - but he only stayed 2 1/2 months before he decided to move back home with mom and dad (he is in his 40s too, never married and barely dating). And he says I owed him $1500 in food when I was the one paying rent and utilities in full. It took me a while, but I did pay him back, with interest.
I had nowhere to go but back to my ex who is now even more ill because in the few months I was gone he didn't take his medications correctly. He is basically slowly dying. I don't want to be here. I am severely depressed and all I can think about is my friend. We tried talking for a while but then out of the blue he just blocks me - didn't say why or that he was going to - he just did it.
Also during this time our son was diasgnosed as PTSD from stress of Dad's illness and the way Dad has treated him, as well as Paranoid Personality Disorder, severe depression and anxiety. I, myself, have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder, Severe Depression and Anxiety. Since I have no job I am trying to get Social Security Disability, but it is a very long process. I do not feel I can work when all I want to do -- and do several times a day -- is cry.
So that's a short version of my story. There's a little more like things form my growing up years but this is pretty much mycurrent situation. Its nice to find a forum where others also are experiencing the same type of problems.
_Jedeye
Post by: Athena on April 30, 2015, 07:48:57 PM
I deleted Whatsapp entirely and I'm going to be changing my number (but can't until June) mostly because I can't stand to see photos of him & her. So yes I DO have feelings for him massive ones. I don't know if that's the case for your exes but it may be. So, take heart!
Post by: Frances85 on May 22, 2015, 01:13:11 AM
I am new here and I need your help! The love of my life broke up with me 10 days ago :(...for the week after he sent me several texts saying that he missed me, he loved me but he is really scared. We stayed hours on the phone! But he had his ups and downs...one day he was calm and the day after he was very mad with me.
Anyway, one day he told me that he couldn't talk to me anymore because it was very hurtful, that he was a mess and that he struggled to eat. I agreed because I want him to be happy and I don't want to make him sad. After a couple of hours he started to send me quite mean text and I didn't reply. I went to bed and the next morning I found a few phone calls. At the tenth phone call I said: "Why are you calling me if you don't want anymore contacts?"...(it was a rollercoaster...one day he wanted me and the day after he hated me)...well, he hunged up and he sent me a text saying that he blocked me from everywhere (he treathen that before but he never did).
My question is....why, the only time I have some guts to pretend a response from him and I show him that I'm tired of this rollercoaster...he block me? Does he want to punish me?
HELP ME! Sorry for my english...I'm italian
Post by: John s on May 27, 2015, 08:10:44 PM
So my "girlfriend"(using this term so I'm manifesting it)unblocked me on social media 2 weeks ago after blocking me off & on. And she liked my recent picture at that time. After that I liked her picture she posted the next day, after that though every time I posted a picture, I would get a notification that she would like it, but then a minute she would unlike my photos every time I posted one. And I just want to know why she's doing this, liking then un liking my photos?
