Success - but my friends are so pessimistic :(

[UpLOAding]

My friends, whom I rely on and to whom I owe my life are starting to discourage me.

I seem to use LOA quite well:
I start getting positive signs, manifesting, and transfering all these love vibrations to the person I love when actually interacting with her, attract numerous opportunities to do so, some of which I consider so fantastic that I don't even believe my own eyes when they happen, especially since I use LOA with a very specific person (something LOA doesn't prohibit, but many independent users discourage!). All is fine until...

...until I ask my friends for feedback on detailed steps to proceed: would present X be better than Y, would a flirty text before her next business travel be better than a warm "good luck"?

They gave me lots of precious advice without which my relationship wouldn't have survived, but they have become pessimistic, since I lost some important opportunities. Also note that my lovestory is about friendship becoming love, so there's even more prejudice against that. Yet I truly believe in it, and also my friends supported it from the very beginning (over 16 months ago), but now keep discouraging me each time I have a light of hope, even when that hope is as bright as the Sun! My friends can now turn my hope into darkest despair by telling something like "It doesn't matter anyway. Do whatever you like..."

Why do I badly need my friends' comments?
1) sometimes my creativity is not enough to overcome cultural differences with the woman I love, so I NEED my friends' approval/precautions before doing anything that may be misunderstood.
Example:"Idea: I'd like to send her flowers today." Friends:"Nice idea, but better tomorrow, since it is a special day!" So I do it tomorrow. See, the point of asking my friends is to avoid missing out on vital details.
2) I want to be consistent. e.g. if my friends kept instructing me that it is always best to "not sound too cocky", I later ask them "Does this message sound too cocky?" And they suggest any modifications...

It's like asking, "Is it better to visualize during all the day, or only during morning and evening, when you're not stressed at work?"

I truly believe that "the devil is in the details". It determines whether one will be accepted or destroyed by a culture, and it is a reality I have experienced since childhood, growing up in different cultures.

I would appreciate your advice, maybe on how to find my friends' optimism and encouragement again, as well as their instructive advice.

[UpLOAding]

I know I sometimes sound verbose and complicated, but I'll try summarizing even more with one single phrase:
 
I think LOA is helping me attract many wonderful opportunities, but I always needed my friends to make something out of them or would loose them.

[ElGuardian]

First of all..hello...Hehehe..
i'd like you to understand 1 thing..whenever an oppurtunity arise..and you ask your friend..it almost seems like you're letting your friend creat your universe when it is you whom actually manifest that oppurtunity..nothing is wrong with asking for a friends view..i do that too sometimes..but also..i'd like to point out that..for example..when you feel like sending her flowers..do you feel good?..deep inside..ask yourself..were you happy..is your vibration high..you need to understand your own feelings first..your friend can't tell you that..if all is tip top..then go ahead..
and also..when you act upon an intuition..believe that your action will bear fruit..do not bother what the outcome is..for example again..the flowers..don't bother if she will like it or not..remember..LoA is about "end result" and "getting and receiving your desire"...you only need to work on the having the intention to marry this girl..(ill assume that is your intention)..feel like she is already yours..believe like she is already yours..let go of your intention to the universe..BE and FEEL happy..do not bother yourself with the HOW.. i mean how will she respond to your action..or what do you need to do to get her attracted to you etc...those HOW questions will only clutter your mind and disturb the high vibration that you have whenever you think about her...


this is what i learn from a very good person from this forum : The "how" to attract what you want will always comes after after the "what" you want to attract and the "why" for wanting it is strong enough.


If you think your friend is a bad elemant in your quest to get what you want..then i suggest you stop asking..act upon your instinct..trust it....your instinct is the how that comes once you know what you want and why is it so important to you...afterall your instinct tells you to do good things..happy things...

[Detached&Allowing]

I think LOA is helping me attract many wonderful opportunities, but I   always needed my friends to make something out of them or would loose   them

I would recommend adding this change to your gratitude journal or list if you have one going.  For instance you may want to say "I am grateful for my supportive and loving friends" and go from there.  If you need help, I am here.

[UpLOAding]

I'd like to emphasize that without my friends I wouldn't be able to understand my own mistakes.
 
Another example:
without my friends I would have never understood hat it was wrong to criticise and be judgmental about her friends. I even wrote a lot on this forum about being judgmental.
She never ever told me that she felt hurt about it, but only my friends made me notice it.
 
This is why I am sometimes scared about just following my instincts.

I can be quite violent and aggressive (see some of my older posts), and have hurt many people. This is why I always need reassurance, or at least some kind of "progress diary".

I understand that we should follow what makes us feel most good, but sometimes, especially when two people have different personalities and cultures, it can happen that what makes me feel good might actually hurt someone else.
Before realizing this and before starting to understand her, I used to enjoy when people killed criminals and adulterers. I was in a campaign trying to introduce death penalty for people who cheat on their partners...

So, please understand that my need for support is mostly precautionary because I am aware of my own aggressiveness.

[loveofabundance]

@UpLOAding, I would like to commend you!  You have made a tremendous turn around.  I am glad that things are going well you.  It takes a lot of courage and love to evaluate and change behaviour that is hurtful to others.  It takes some people a lifetime or never to accomplish what you have in such a short time.
 
It seems like you have very good friends.  I would accept their advice on the little details but overlook when they are pessimistic about your chances with your girl.  I'm sure they don't mean to discourage you out of meanness; they probably just don't want to see you get hurt.
 
 
 

[UpLOAding]

@UpLOAding, I would like to commend you!  You have made a tremendous turn around.  I am glad that things are going well you.  It takes a lot of courage and love to evaluate and change behaviour that is hurtful to others.  It takes some people a lifetime or never to accomplish what you have in such a short time.
 
It seems like you have very good friends.  I would accept their advice on the little details but overlook when they are pessimistic about your chances with your girl.  I'm sure they don't mean to discourage you out of meanness; they probably just don't want to see you get hurt.

Thank you very much for the compliments.

Yeah with my friends, it's easier said than done...

To be very honest, I just think these friends are tired or fed up with being my "personal trainers", repeating the same things over and over again (positive things!).
They don't really say "You have no chances!", but simply that I'm wasting my time. When they do so I feel an immense emptiness and unable to proceed, like, you know, left alone.

They have encouraged me to reach for the moon, I'm reaching the stars, but they saw it takes me too long time and have kinda left me all alone in the midst of nowhere...

Now, I love this girl with all my heart, I have plans on marrying her but who am I to do anything like that without my friends?

[loveofabundance]

Maybe it's time to trust your intuition and try acting on your own again.  Once your friends see that you are happy with your girl, they'll support you.
 
In my case, I've only shared with two friends that I still love my guy and only one of them knows that I'm communicating with him again.  I didn't tell the others because I don't want them to express worry nor concern.  I know that I'll marry him but I understand how unrealistic that could seem to someone else; so I just keep it to myself.
 
As far as marrying your girl, I'm sure your friends will all come to the wedding!    So, don't even worry about that.

[Detached&Allowing]

I'd like to emphasize that without my friends I wouldn't be able to understand my own mistakes.

My advice to you was not to encourage you to get new friends but to assist you in changing the behaviors of the friends you have.  Those who do not have the capacity to make those changes will leave on their own accord and you will attract those who continue to guide, be very honest and support you.  Below is what I wrote:

I would recommend adding this change to your gratitude journal or list if you have one going.  For instance you may want to say "I am grateful for my supportive and loving friends" and go from there.  If you need help, I am here.