Hi I'm new to this and I need all the support I can get! I have been doing my best to heal myself from a 4 mth old break up. I pushed my ex away bc of insecurities and fear and he never bolted when i'd test him by saying we should break up until the final time. He finally left and said he didn't feel it was truly over but needed to walk away for us to both get our lives on track. i felt he was so emotionally closed and that hurt me so much that i picked at it a lot. He cried and almost changed his mind 48 hrs later calling me up.
Basically, we both went into cold turkey NC except for a few unemotional emails I sent about getting my stuff back. he dragged that on for 3 mths and when I saw him again I feel like he reeled me back in only to get rejected again (i let it happen bc i felt he still loved me). He never reaches out to me and that kills but he'll do indirect things like going into my fb acct (i get notified) and he sent me a happy birthday text last mth even tho we're not on speaking terms. Every where I turn he's there (not physically). I've made a lot of changes in my life...seeing a therapist, positive self talk (tho negative creeps in a lot), changed job, getting as much work as I can, looking into leaving the country for a mth.
Just really want to move past it and let go bc I know everything happens when u let go. Except in the meantime I fall back into fearful stints that he is with someone and our love meant nothing even tho when we broke up he went on about how I needed to believe in us and feel it at my core (he told me he didnt believe it was done and I remember that day bc I don't feel we're over either). In my gut, altho we were broken, I really feel he was the one for me but fear got in the way. i should also mention he's 7 years my junior. Any words of advice/support would be welcome
