Hello, looking for advice on getting started

[CPFC]

Hi, i'm new here and am looking for positivity to come into my life.

About a month a go my girlfriend of 7 years told me she wasn't sure of her feelings. Last night she told me that we should go our seperate ways. Last week I wacthed 'The Secret' and became aware of LOA for the first time. I tried to put into place a few of the things that it suggested, unfortunately last nights events haven't gone the way I was intending. What i'm unsure of now is which way to turn, I want my girlfriend back and for us to carry on building our future together but at the same time I don't know if this is something that is achievable from using LOA and should just dust myself down and move on, the thought of which just rips me in two. To make matters even more of a mess my girlfriends gran died this morning too. I know there probably aren't quick fixes, but any advice on what I can do to get myself going would be really appreciated 

[57angel]

Welcome here CPFC! Being here in this forum is what you attracted for, you will be greatly here

Yes, this is something that is achievable of LOA. The requirement is to forgive, accept and love yourself more. The aim is "to feel good", if not always, but most of the times. Be grateful for everything that you have. Only you can really answer if you want to spend the rest of your life with her or just dust off and move on. Whichever way you want to, focus on making you a better  and happier you. Do EFT, Subliminal Blaster, affirmations, gratitude journal, visualization and meditations and many others that work for others here. Read Ask and It Is Given book, it helped me a lot. Keep posting here!

[CPFC]

Thank you for the words of support. My question of uncertainty was down to whether I could use LOA for this. I know in my heart that I want us to move forward together and I see our future together. Thanks for your advice, I will start using the techniques now. My concern is her negativity, she is very paranoid and her lack of trust in me (which is completely misguided as when I choose someone it is them and only them) is what has brought the doubts in her head and has put us in this situation. I can forgive these doubts though as I know where her problems stem from.

[Detached&Allowing]

My concern is her negativity, she is very paranoid and her lack of trust in me

57Angel is quite correct in her advice.  Paranoia and mistrust usually come from insecurity.  She is feeling insecure about her relationship with you, herself and life in general.  Would you say this started around the time her grandma got sick?

In any case, an exercise you can start right away is creating a gratitude journal or list.   make a list of 20 things you are grateful for.  (i.e. "I am grateful for my good health""I am grateful for my family""I am grateful for the beautiful weather") Write whatever makes you feel good.  At the end of the list add to the things you want as though they already exist.  (i.e. I am grateful for {insert her name}'s love and support""I am grateful for our healthy and loving relationship""I am grateful for my ability to love and trust her") Write down anything that comes to mind and makes you happy.  Read this list aloud in the morning and in the evening.  Trust that what you wrote down is true and truly exists.  Throughout the day if you start to doubt your thoughts, start stating all that you are grateful for.  Also, remember EVERYTHING happens for a reason.  The Universe will never give you less than what you ask for. 

[57angel]

The more you love and confident in yourself, the more that you will exude to everyone around you love and trust. It is indeed so tedious in our part to try to change anyone to suit our needs, and that will make them also take steps away from us. Its our emotions and feelings that we can control, and that if we change our feelings towards others, their feelings towards us will definitely change. This is true in my life, I have seen its working this way. From the moment that I accept others for who they are, their feelings towards me changed as well with more love and respect, and that made me a happier me

[CPFC]

My concern is her negativity, she is very paranoid and her lack of trust in me

57Angel is quite correct in her advice.  Paranoia and mistrust usually come from insecurity.  She is feeling insecure about her relationship with you, herself and life in general.  Would you say this started around the time her grandma got sick?

No, its been an issue along with others for many years for her all of which existed before we got together. She has often thanked me for 'saving her' and one of her old friends has often said that I have turned her life around. But yes, your second to last sentence is spot on.

I've always wanted to be her knight in shinning armour. I guess over the years i've been more interest in being this rather than concentrating on my own happiness which has in turn led to things going down hill. I've taken your advice on board and have made the gratitude list and will add to it as time goes on too.

On a side note, yesterday I was making lists suggested by a book on 'When i've felt most alive', 'What my natural talents are' etc etc. I came to the conclusion that I should be djing more as i've let this slip in the last year or so. In the afternoon I received a booking, my first in ages. Only a small point but a nice one that has given me confidence in these processes 

[Berylac]

Hi,

CPFC. First, let me welcome you to the Law of Attraction Forum and watched the The Secret.

The Secret is advisable for people who are new to Law of Attraction. If you didn't say "The Secret" earlier, I would have recommended you to watch it in this post.

Anyway, let's get started.

About a month ago my girlfriend of 7 years told me she wasn't sure of her feelings. Last night she told me that we should go our seperate ways.

These two sentences are known as Perceptions. Perceptions are things or vibrations you have interpreted or understood by the physical world. For example, what you see and hear are not true as it seems. They are caused by our own perception and understanding; different points of view. She told you she wasn't sure of her feelings to you after 7 years. This is not true because this is a perception and I have studied human's pattern and Neuro-Linguistic Programming for the past 3 months. 7 years without a mere feeling for a person is totally impossible unless a brainwashing took place in action. This is not true, she still has some feelings for you. A person without a feeling for a person will never respond to a person.

If you asked your girlfriend for a dinner or party before, and she accepted it, she has feeling on you. If you asked your girlfriend for a dinner or party before, and she rejected it, there's still feelings for you. The feelings are letting you know that she won't be coming because of something important/uncomfortable. If she had no feelings on you, she will not reply to you or show any intimacy for the past 7 years.

Rapport is created because there's a feeling.

" Last night she told me that we should go separate ways. " Again, perception statement. It's not true, that's what you received from her. There's chance and always a solution. There's always a solution to a problem. There's no problem without a solution.

I tried to put into place a few of the things that it suggested, unfortunately last nights events haven't gone the way I was intending.

Yes. It's recommended for people who are new to Law of Attraction to watch The Secret. However, they are not really complete. Some are frauds and many are correct. Remember: They are humans, they have to earn money too.

I am not trying to say that The Secret is a totally fake. No. I am just saying that The Secret, known as Law of Attraction is a Law. Never a method. Just like the Law of Gravity. With Gravity, you will not float. Without Gravity, you will float. Are you going to put Gravity down your feet so that you cannot float? Nah. We have to put on weights right?

Same goes for The Secret; Universal Law of Attraction. You must do something and not follow the law itself. The law is not the method. Remember: Slow For Desire! Rushing For Desperation! Desperation is a very strong negativity vibration. It will terminate the progress you have made.

What i'm unsure of now is which way to turn, I want my girlfriend back and for us to carry on building our future together but at the same time I don't know if this is something that is achievable from using LOA and should just dust myself down and move on, the thought of which just rips me in two.

" I want my girlfriend back ". Now you have placed your desire. Act on it! Trust the fact that you guys will be together, trust Law of Attraction will bring you guys back. Trust the Universe!

It is achievable! It is achievable, not impossible! Everything is possible! I would request you to read more about Law of Attraction. The Secret is definitely not enough. It's use for understanding Law of Attraction. "Ask, Believe & Receive" is the method. However, I think you have misunderstood "Receive" part.

To make matters even more of a mess my girlfriends gran died this morning too. I know there probably aren't quick fixes, but any advice on what I can do to get myself going would be really appreciated.

Sorry. I have to pull this thing out of Law of Attraction for a bit. Scientists have proven, if a person has lost something that is really closed to them, they will emit a very strong negative vibrations because they felt fear, worry, anxiety, sadness and desperation for the thing that had lost. For your case, her grandma died, all kinds of negative vibrations will release fast and brutal. This would detriment your desire for her like relationship.

However, you have to remember these are all your perceptions and your point of view. Nothing is really right. The good thing to do now is to leave her alone and send her some great messages; a casual talk will do. Learn and master the Law of Attraction then when her negativity is no more, you will get her back again. Don't worry if she is going out for another relationship, she won't. The death has caused her to release her negativity everywhere and you not to worry.



Conclusion: In my own point of view, I think she said to you this way because her grandmother has passed away. That's just a temporarily conjunction. The reality will show itself after she has cooled-down.

Hope this helps,

Regards,
Berylac

[CPFC]

Thanks for taking your time to give me such a lengthy and detailed response. I will take onboard all that you have said. My brother (who showed me The Secret) has given me books to read that go into way more detail on the LOA, as like you say The Secret is just a starting point. Her grandma passing was after she said to me what she did, so I don't think it had any baring on her decision. The giving her space part is probably easier said than done though as we're living in the same 1 bedroom flat! I'm being completely civil to her though, i've offered to go to the funeral and having tried to be loving and supportive to her over the last few days. Just from what i've been reading on this site shouting etc won't do any good. How I behave now will shape what happens next, not what has happened before.

Thanks again for your reply