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Chris,
I see a pattern here. First with Natasha, now with Terra. You want love, not friendship; don't kid yourself. So you think or hope that this friendship will blossom into love on a different and more intimate level?
I am thinking that you will settle for just friendship with Terra because you don't want to let her out of your sight. You want friendship with her because you want to know what is going on in her life all the time. That is not only dangerous but it is controlling.
If you know too much about what is going on in her life, you will get jealous and negative stuff (like that fight with her other friend) will happen again. Think back. You were jealous of Natasha and her trip to Spain. You conjured up all types of negative unfounded scenarios that were driving you insane! The same will happen with Terra unless you completely detach yourself.
Do you recall me telling the forum what Ken said to me when he left me last summer? When he was packing to leave me, I asked him if we could be friends. Like you (with Terra,) I did not want to lose touch with Ken. He said it would not be a good idea for us to be friends after breaking up because he knew I would know if he was seeing someone else or that I would know if he had moved on and was through with me for good. He knew it would cause me pain if I was aware of what he was doing, so he decided against being friends with me. Chris, It is going to cause you pain knowing what Terra is doing if what she is doing doesn't include you, so I suggest you back off completely and let God arrange what he knows is best for you, because obviously you can not make that decision for yourself. Trust him; and I use the word "God" here because you profess to be a Christian and Christians think of the LOA term "universe" as being the creator "God."
I have kept silent on this forum for a while now. I don't want to waste my time going around and around with you and as long as these good people keep responding to your posts you will continue this madness.

By the way Ankur, I have always loved this forum but I do not like this new format of typing in responses. If it aint broke, don't fix it. Bring the old format back because this new way isn't very user friendly, and I can't see in the preview all of what I am typing here.

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What a beautiful statement Peter and it is so true! Unconditional love is the key to peace, forgiveness and everlasting contentment.
Thank you for posting this!

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Please don't be afraid Firefly. I know it is very hard to see sunshine ahead but believe me, it's there! Remember to feel and speak what you DO want to happen and never what you don't want to happen. See this split as something that needs to happen, surrender the relationship over to the universe to be fixed, and the universe will return it to you good as new in its own perfect timing. Its good that you realize that jumping into another relationship any time soon would not be wise. I have made the mistake in the past of thinking that I needed a relationship to get over the last one. I also thought that I had to be in a relationship in order to be happy because of the good feelings I had when I was in a satisfying relationship. It was when I discovered (from the advice of the beautiful members of this forum,) that I needed to be responsible for my own happiness without a relationship, that Ken knew it was okay to return to me (and in a very short time I might add.) That's why I didn't run out and try to replace Ken when he left me, because I had to be happy by myself before I could truly be happy with someone else. I took the time apart from him to work on myself, love myself and forgive myself, and also made my children the main focus (like you are doing.) Your children need you to be strong for them and I believe they are going to help you get through this as much as you are going to help them.

So don't be fearful of that alone time, instead embrace it and enjoy just being with the one who is most important; and that is YOU. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. Make yourself happy so you can be a happy mom with and for your children. Most of all, DO NOT FEAR! because fearing will ALWAYS give you more to fear. Its the law!!

Also, Do not anticipate hard times unless that is what you want. (and you know you don't want that, so instead look forward to a bright and happy future and that is what you will most assuredly get.)

Much love and happiness to you.....

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Ersie,

Thank you so much for the update! I have been thinking about you ever since the 23rd. I knew things would go well and I am so thrilled that you made it safely and that everything is going well (I knew it would.) Have you been shopping at Kohl's yet? They don't have beef jerky but they do have those reasonably priced clothes you have been wanting. LOL

It is great to hear from you! Have you guys made any plans for your future together? I know before long we will be hearing wedding bells! You deserve much happiness and I just want to say thank you; you were very instrumental in my attracting Ken back and it looks like you followed the same advice you gave to me and others, and that is to believe, feel grateful, be happy on your own, and then you can attract and  live harmoniously in a beautiful relationship with the man you love.

Much love to you!   

-Mel

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Give him time and space dear Firefly. Just love him unconditionally from a distance and he will feel it eventually. That really worked for attracting my BF back and making our relationship better. Also  be grateful that he hasn't talked about leaving lately. Keep thanking the universe that he is going to be with you happily forever. Your mood was good today and you got a message from the universe  not to give up, so continue feeling grateful for that as well. Look forward to your future with him. Erase all negative thoughts and feelings from your deceiving mind and listen to your heart instead. It knows all truth. Don't take it personally if he does or says anything negative. He may be tired so just give him the space he needs. Also remember to never speak or feel what you don't want to happen (as in worrying about it,) but  feel and affirm what you DO want to happen because whatever energy is put into feelings, (whether positive or negative) will eventually manifest, so its important to feel positive so you will manifest positive outcomes.

Know and Believe that everything will be fine, and so it shall be.
Many blessings to you!

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What do I do?
I don't depend on ANYone but ME to make me happy. Allowing what others say or do to control your emotions is giving the power to them, not yourself! So when anyone does or says things that would have made me unhappy, I just remember that I am in control of my happiness, NOT them. I am going to be happy NO MATTER WHAT they say or do.

Just a hint:
 Forgiveness and unconditional love helps too.

 

Cheer up Firefly and remember that it is up to YOU and No ONE else to make you happy. We all have days like these and trust me there ARE and WILL be better days ahead!

Much love to you dear one.

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* clear and heal yourself (let go of all negativity) --> love yourself
* give gratitude to yourself and life --> hope
* make a list of things you want in your life
* write letters, songs, poems, draw paintings of your list and by that FEEL IT and send it off to the universe
* BELIEVE, TRUST, LET GO!
* Stay high!
* See how everything shows up in your life

Aidaurona,

The above in red is actually quoting you from a post you replied in.

Apply this same advice that you gave to someone else to your own situation! I am also in a situation (not having to do with a relationship) where it is hard for me to follow the advice I have given to others here. I just have to remember and apply those same principals to my own life or I may see no chance for manifesting my desire.

You have a desire.
Feel grateful, feel you have it already, let go, and trust and believe the universe WILL give you your desire in the universe's perfect timing without worry of how,where, or when the universe will grant your desire. You know that it is important to have the feeling that comes with achieving your desire because still wanting will give you more of wanting, keeping you forever stuck in the stage of wanting. You know in your heart that this man is the perfect mate for you. Your heart is true so believe your heart and trust it WILL happen. I have no doubt that you will manifest a beautiful relationship with this man. Just be patient and don't lose faith.

I have a feeling we will all be hearing of your success story (and my success story too,) when the timing is just right.

Many blessings and much love to you!!

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Thank you so much VC! You are such a sweetheart! 

Yes I believe Ken will do just fine. We both really want him to be able to start his own business, so I am going to let go and believe it will happen. I am so grateful he is back with me. I remember how on this day a year ago I was crying my eyes out and I couldn't eat or sleep. My dad also went into the hospital and I started a very hard course at school. You know what's funny? I just started a new class the other day in digital illustration and I have the exact same teacher I had for that really hard class a year ago. He was a wonderful and most  helpful instructor. It was his guidance that helped me ace that very hard class a year ago, so I am grateful he is my instructor again.

There is so much positivity in everything that appears to be negative. We just have to see it and feel grateful!

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thank you so much Dee for reminding us that we need to accentuate the positive!

How many times do we see the positive in what seems to be a negative situation? rarely ever! Negative situations seem so powerful and they overshadow the positive, but if we can find the positive in all things and be grateful, I believe the negative would start looking minor, temporary and even more positive.

Ken lost his job last night. It happened on the year anniversary of the day he left me to start my LOA journey with you all. That breakup happened for a reason and even though it seemed negative at the time, it was a positive thing that happened because we now have a new and much better relationship. Actually ken quitting (or losing) his job was a positive thing.  The guy he worked for was a liar, a thief and a jerk who paid Ken WAY  under minimum wage (like less than $5 an hour;) slave labor for the amount of hours Ken worked. The negative is that the owner wrote Ken a paycheck for last week that can not be cashed  because the owner used white-out instead of writing Ken a new check. I am trying not to be upset with Ken for accepting the check. Ken is just going to let it go and move on. I on the other hand am having a very hard time letting it go after everything Ken has done for this jerk. But like you said Dee, we need to look at the positive side of things and that is what is helping me let it go. Now I need to believe that there is something better for Ken. Something that will enhance our relationship and enrich both our lives. I will support and stand by this man because he is worthy.

Thank you so much for your post Dee! It was perfect timing as it is helping me deal with this temporary "not so dark" cloud. the sunshine will be back very soon. I know and I believe it!!!!

Much love to you! I sure have missed you!

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Thank you Ava. Reading your post really made me smile. Your gut instinct knew it was not over and it was right! letting go is definitely the key! It doesn't mean you changed your mind about wanting him back, but letting go allowed the universe/God to take your desire, work on it, fix it, then return your desire to you better than it was before. Things DO happen for a reason; don't they?

Lets say you have a car that is broken. Are you going to hold on to that broken car, or are you going let go of it and to take it to a repairman to have it fixed so he can return it to you in a working condition? You're going to let go of; right? Its like a broken relationship. Relationships break up because they are broken and need fixing. If we still hold on tightly to an old relationship after it has been broken, how are we going to have it fixed? by letting go; that's how. Letting go of the tight grasp we have on old broken relationships enables the universe (or repairman) to fix it so the universe (or repairman) can return it back to us as good as new. That's what you did Ava, and now that relationship is working better than before; good as new. Just like my relationship with Ken. He left me a year ago yesterday. I held on tightly to that old broken relationship for several weeks. Then I let go to ease the pain of him leaving me and let the universe/God fix it and it was repaired and returned to me even better than before.

To those of you who want to attract an ex back:
LET GO! It works wonders!!

Thanks for sharing Ava!!

Much love and many blessings to you and your "good as new" relationship 

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Okay Chris Heres the way I see it:

You have a friendship with Natasha where you are supposedly "best friends."
She used to live in your country but moved back to her country but you continued being friends.
You told her that you wanted more than a platonic relationship with her.
Natasha didn't really say she wanted to be more than friends, but she basically said she wasn't ready for anything more right now, and that time would tell.

Am I right so far?

So here you are trying to attract a more intimate relationship with her by "feeling" that you are already married to her, etc.
With that feeling comes jealousy, frustration , anger (every negative emotion possible) because she is doing things apart from you that most married people wouldn't do. For instance the spain trip. She went without you and worse she did not tell you she was even going. Because you "feel" as though you are married to her, you feel she is doing things your wife should or would not do; you are really taking this fantasy of being married to her to the extreme (WAY TOO FAR.) You are allowing this made up fantasy of yours to cross over into what is real and the fantasy and the reality are not mixing very well. You know that in order to attract things you must be grateful and feel as though you already have these things. Okay so you are doing the second part. You are feeling it. But the problem is, you are not separating your fantasy of being married to Natasha from the reality of things. The reality is:
You are NOT married to this girl and shes not married to you!
You have very strong feelings for her that may be different from the ones she has for you.
She should be able to go places and do things without your consent or approval or even your knowledge.
You should not be so freakin worried that meeting other women as friends will result in your cheating on Natasha.You are not cheating because the two of you are not in a relationship!

I believe you are worried that meeting other women and having a sexual attraction toward the opposite sex will confuse the universe as to your desire to be married to Natasha. You worry that if you were attracted to other women that you are telling the universe that your desire is not to be married to Natasha because you are thinking about other women.Your worry comes from your past promiscuity. You couldn't control yourself in the past and you worry that you won't be able to control yourself now. That may be why you are frustrated.

You say you truly love Natasha. I don't think you know the meaning of unconditional love. Loving someone unconditionally means not only that you love and accept them for their faults and for who they are, but it also means that you love them apart from you. You want their happiness with or without you, whatever they are doing or whomever they are with. That my friend is unconditional love.

Its time for you to wake yourself up from this dream/nightmare. Get REAL man! The reality of things is causing your fantasy to crumble.Its is time for you to live in the real world and make the real world a good one. Much better than that fantasy of yours.

Maybe you should tell natasha once again that you desire to be more than friends. If she says she still isn't ready, then accept it. But don't sit there crying over it and "feeling" like she belongs to you. You do not own her and she does not own you. Even people who are really married don't own each other. I started really loving my man unconditionally and that is when he felt compelled to come back and have a more meaningful relationship with me. I don't chain him to me (I don't have to.) I want Ken to be happy doing things apart from me. I don't want him feeling like he has to depend on me to complete his happiness. I want him whole and complete apart from me; individually. And he wants the same for me. I don't have to worry that he will find someone so sexually attractive that he can't keep his pants zipped. As a matter of fact I am grateful that he finds the opposite sex attractive, because that means he is a normal male. He knows where to draw the line. He has self control. He has a woman (me) and I am very confident that he is satisfied with what he has.

So Chris, this torment will not cease until you get in touch with reality and start really loving her unconditionally. if you can't do that, and you are so worried that you can't control those sexual urges, then my guess is that you have a false sense of real love.I doubt you love yourself and until you can truly love and accept yourself, you can not possibly love and accept others.

It is perfectly okay to "feel" as though you already have your desire because that means you are not stuck in the stage of wanting it thereby attracting more of wanting something you don't have; but I think you are so wrapped up in having it, that the things that are happening in the real world are going against what you are living in your fantasy world. You seem to have trouble balancing the two. Like your concern over having a career and having a family. You once said that Natasha preferred someone with a career but you worried that the career would take away from your relationship with her. Why would it have to? You can do both. You have to balance the two. 

You keep asking for advice here and yes there are conflicting and differing opinions and that is confusing you. HOWEVER it is up to you to control your emotions and decide what is best for you. It is not our job to keep you on track, so you can not blame us if you screw things up. All I can offer is this:
Love yourself, forgive yourself, be grateful, let go, get over it, stop living in a fantasy world, wake up, get on with your life and love her unconditionally from a distance. Stop doubting, stop hating, stop judging, stop crying, stop over analyzing, stop calling people names, stop assuming, stop bashing, stop wishing people were dead, stop wishing people harm,stop blaming others; In other words, STOP ACTING LIKE A JERK! Its no wonder you are not manifesting anything good. You're not very attractive like this Chris! Start being attractive. It all starts with self love. Until you love and respect yourself you will get NO where.

Put the desire for the relationship on hold. Continue your studies and stop obsessing over someone who has her own life apart from you. Meet other women but keep your d*ck in your pants until you decide if it Natasha you really do love.

If decide you want to over analyze, counteract and raise more questions about what I have written here, then I feel sorry for you because you truly don't get it. And just because we are not telling you what you are comfortable with does not mean we are reading between the lines. I'm just telling you my perception from what you have written here. It is what it is. you should not be offended or bent out of shape, but grateful that people are taking their precious time to reply to your threads. People here may get to the point where they are tired of trying to help because obviously you are resisting and it is time wasted for us. You are like the man who goes to the doctor for advice. The doctor tells the man to love himself, be grateful, forgive himself, etc.etc.etc; The man is resisting everything the doctor is telling him to do. The man goes back to the doctor feeling worse. The doctor asks the man if he did what the doctor ordered. the man says no because it goes against what the man wants to do. The doctor says, "I am not going to tell you what you want to hear. I am telling you what is real and what you must do. If you don't want to take my advice, then please don't come back here crying and asking me to fix your problem. That is up to you." You are that man Chris and the members of the forum are the doctors. Our advice is universally the same, and that is the advice highlighted above in red. It is up to YOU to take your own inspired action and if that means calling her and telling her how you feel, or letting it go and moving on to meet other women, It is ultimately your decision. Advise yourself now. If you don't take the advice I have highlighted in red, then the only one to blame is yourself.

Just so you know, I have a very important deadline for an  illustration that is due and I set that aside to address what I feel from "reading between your lines." I really hope that I have not wasted my time on this and there is so much more I would like to address here, but I need to get my illustration finished and turned in. That my friend is "reality".

PS I just noticed that Lashark posted a video on reality. I've never seen it but if it conflicts with what I wrote here, it would be better to go with what Esther/ Hicks advises. They are the experts!

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What do you feel like doing Chris?

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You are most welcome Michelle. Please stay with us and participate often. I believe you will be a most wonderful asset to our forum with your knowledge of LOA.

Much love and many blessings to you dear!!

-Melanie

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Yes Michelle. Seeing results could definitely get you to feeling attached again. Its like people who become attached to relationships or money. When they attract someone or something (like money) they start to want more than just the initial contact (or the small amount they first manifest,) and they want it immediately. Then they get disappointed that things are not progressing quick enough and they are not satisfied and grateful enough for those small steps or progressions because the progression is not fully to the point of their desire which is a full on relationship (or a lot more money.) That puts them back to the stage of attachment which almost always repels the very thing they were trying to manifest or attract.

I guess you could look at your wanting to attract relief from what is left of the disease in the same way others are wanting to attract relationships or even money. So try this: be and feel grateful that the disease didn't leave you with a worse condition. Be and feel grateful for all the other things that you have  and consider precious and dear. Start there. That will get you into feeling good, thereby detaching yourself from your desire and letting it go. then you will manifest again maybe in small steps, however stay detached and bigger and better progressions will start to manifest getting you to the point where you are convinced you have really manifested your desire. After that, feel grateful even more, but continue staying detached. Have faith in the universe. It wants to align you with your desire and it wants you to have abundance and the good life that you deserve. So be detached handing over your desire to the universe while trusting it will take care of your desire and then return your desire to you.

So how do you act once once you start seeing results? Feel grateful, detach yourself, and trust the universe to deliver even bigger progressions in its perfect timing.

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Welcome Michelle!

I can seem to manifest pretty easily but then I lose whatever I am trying to manifest. Like the only time I can manifest anything is when I could care less about it.
Any advice for me?

yes it is usually when we care less about it that we manifest it; but my question is if you feel like you have really manifested it? I mean why would you be "trying" to manifest something you already have? and why would you be losing something you don't have yet?

I believe you may still be stuck in the wanting stage. You are not convinced that you have manifested it yet therefore you are still "trying" to manifest it, and the feeling of losing it comes from your belief that you have not fully manifested it. You feel good for a while and BAM! you feel like it is slipping away. I believe that comes from resistance and believing it may be too good to be true. You may also be feeling a fear of losing it and that has also manifested itself in the feeling that you have lost it.

Are you still attached to wanting it? let go by feeling as though you do already have it thereby getting rid of the negative attachment to still "trying" to get it. Does that make sense?

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