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Messages - Love is here
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46
« on: January 01, 2013, 05:40:59 AM »
If distance isnt the only issue, what are her reasons for not wanting to go there with you again? It sounds like she is holding onto something from the past with you two that she might not have gotten over. If that is a possibility do you know what that could be?
47
« on: January 01, 2013, 05:37:05 AM »
I just wanted to share something Im doing tonight just in case it benefits anyone else who has had a hard time letting go of the past.
I wrote my name and traced a line from my name to all the negative things from the past that I still feel bound to in some ways. I listed things from childhood, bad relationships and people, procrastination, bad finances etc. Then on another piece of paper I traced my name to all the things im bringing with me into my new life and I listed all the things I want in every area of my life.
I plan to destroy the list of all the negative things right before the clock hits 12 and keep the list of all the positive things. I cant control everything that happens in life so I dont know exactly what 2013 will bring but I do believe that this will be a year that I will accomplish many of my goals. I cant wait to say goodbye to the past. No reason for regrets from the past. Our futures are spotless.
48
« on: January 01, 2013, 01:36:17 AM »
Something I caught in my last reply. Yes its true that I have acted in ways that I know end up sabotaging things with high value men out of nervousness and feeling lower than they are but I dont want to excuse him just disappearing and totally blame myself. I didnt treat him badly and we did connect so I absolutely still deserved a proper goodbye and a response even if he didnt see me in his future. So even though he seemed to be a good guy, that was cold and cowardice behavior on his part and I deserved better than that.
Ahh it feels good to be back on this forum just as a way to vent and let out my feelings. I have also come to really believe and appreciate the law of attraction even though I have changed my opinions on it many times out of frustration this past year. It isnt this or that technique in how to manifest that I think matters. It really is just what you really think and believe about yourself and the world that draws experiences to you. I still believe in fate also and that some things are unavoidale and cant control every single thing because some things we have to go through for our souls to grow but we still have alot of choices and when we constantly keep repeating the same things over and over, that is definitely something to look at and something I think we can change. I am so happy that 2012 is over and so excited for what 2013 will bring.
49
« on: January 01, 2013, 12:52:13 AM »
I am still thinking of him but I am learning lessons in all of this about my romantic patterns because they all play out the same way again and again. When I get the attention of a man who I think could be husband material, I want his approval so bad that I get nervous and wind up acting in ways that are not natural to who I really am and I think that in turn turns the guy off. I dont know for sure if thats what happened with this guy but I have my suspicions.
Yet when I get the attention of a guy whom any woman would be crazy to marry, I cant keep him away from me. I know that subconsciously I dont think I deserve a good man nor do I think I equal up to anyone good. I always want them to like me and approve of me instead of the other way around. I did think I was past all these self worth issues but it clear that Im not. I am trying to talk to my subconcious to please accept that I deserve a man that totally adores me and a good man would be lucky to have me not just the other way around.
It feels like a fight sometimes that we have to get past so much crap and lies we've believed about ourselves in order to attract what we logically know what we deserve but our subconscious has a hard time accepting.
I need to learn to sincerely approve of myself in order to attract the adoration and love I deserve. I am working on it and all I can say is I hope God and the Universe can see that I care about myself enough to try and will still bring the right person my way. I honestly cant wait for that. I want the real thing, not someone I have to try and convince but someone that cant help but to love and adore me.
50
« on: January 01, 2013, 12:01:25 AM »
beautifuldreamer, What is it that you want as far as a relationship is concerned? Do you want to get married within the next few years or have you not thought of the long term yet?
51
« on: December 30, 2012, 08:27:48 AM »
I dont have anything to add because everyone else has given good advice. I can so relate to you on this rainbows. It was also good to read this to see a vulnerable side to you. Im definitely bookmarking this.
52
« on: December 30, 2012, 12:02:07 AM »
beautifuldreamer, Does it hurt though to see him knowing that he doesnt want a long term relationship? Even if you take intimacy off the table, as a woman dont you feel more attached to him being around him? Im sure he's a likeable guy but this is a red flag: In any case, he said that he didn't want to hurt my feelings and I asked what he meant. He told me that he has a habit of going all in and having girls fall in love with him and then suddenly saying he doesn't want to continue anymore and then move on
I remember your story with your ex well. I just dont want you to waste more time. Like Stef said, I cant say you should or wouldnt ever be in a relationship with him cause he may just be going through a typical guy phase because of bad past experiences and will eventually come around but maybe its best to make the friendship super casual instead of talking so much or seeing eachother on the regular. Id back away more and then see what he does. If he lets you go totally, then definitely move on and dont look back. If he decides to pursue you for real, then it may be worth giving it a chance.
53
« on: December 29, 2012, 09:48:13 AM »
Thanks so much Mellivora for the detailed reply. I use to do Ho'oponopono but stopped months ago. It did help me to be centered and I need to get back to that. I definitely will do the backspace>delete cause even though I liked alot of things about him, there were definitely things that I didnt like and wouldve been issues for me in the long run. I just hate the disappearing thing so much. I understand when your just not interested in someone and simply moving on instead of explaining it but only when you didnt make any real connection. Even though he wasnt in my life long, I felt like we made a connection enough to where it was appropriate for him to actually say a goodbye. He does not live in my city (at least not right now but may have to move here for work) so I knew the time I had with him would be short at least for now but for him to just go back home and not even say goodbye or respond to me was pretty cruel. He said he was single but even if he had a secret girlfriend, it still doesnt explain him at least not saying goodbye. I dont think I can bring myself to do any detective work on him cause it would hurt too bad to find out anything about him. I use to be able to brush stuff like this off better but after having been totally alone all year its much harder to do.
This has been a learning experience for me though and I realize as much as I want to get out there and date, I cant just go out there date and see what happens. I wont open myself up at all to a man unless it is VERY likely to lead to something long term cause I cant handle anymore a wasting of time and feelings.
54
« on: December 29, 2012, 03:19:52 AM »
First of all, Want to say hello to everyone. Alot of the new people probably dont know me cause I havent posted in a long while but it feels good to be back. 2012 was my slowest year and during the last half, I have had a few set backs that has made me very sad and frustrated but I am determined not to take any of that negativity in 2012. Fairly recently I connected with a guy that I really liked and was attracted too. If the old regulars remember my story, I was only attracting guys that I did not want to date and I was waiting on my soulmate. Well I finally met someone who had alot of what I was looking for and felt like we made a connection. He suddenly disappeared on me and wont respond to contact from me. I have been through a situation like that before but with a guy who I was actually in a long term relationship with so at least this time it never got to that point but still I liked him and still do.
I wanted to talk to him just to get closure cause I dont know what happened or if I did something to scare him away but he wont talk to me. I am not trying to attract him back cause if he cared he would talk to me. I am trying to forget about him but for some reason I cant. Everyday I wake up feeling confused as to what happened and sometimes I succeed in thinking about something else but my mind keeps coming back. I dont want to want anyone that doesnt want me. What techniques work to forget about him all together or at least have no more emotion attached to him? I cant take thinking about him anymore, it hurts. Or do I just have to wait it out? I dont want to take that negative energy with me into 2013.
55
« on: December 21, 2012, 03:30:32 AM »
Kitten, The same things are happening to me and I agree with happymelly that it is a test so pretty much ditto to everything happymelly said. Also glad to see your still here. I havent posted in a long while either and its good to see some of the old gang still here.
56
« on: October 24, 2012, 09:51:06 PM »
Dear Universe, Id like the perfect job for me real soon as well as a new car. Thanks 
57
« on: October 07, 2012, 07:53:03 AM »
How do you talk to your ego though? And how could you get a response?
58
« on: October 07, 2012, 07:38:58 AM »
Maybe watch a movie where the woman kicks a man's ass ...i really like Jennifer Lopez in Enough it is very empowering I also love that movie and find it very empowering. I wish that right now I could afford some self defense classes myself. That certainly would give me more confidence and I believe give me a less "weak" vibration. I believe there is some vibe that im giving off. I went out for a few hours today only cause I had to pick food up for my pet, and a young guy I never met in life was so rude to me completely out the blue boderlining on bullying. I believe he even threatened me through the window but couldnt understand what he was saying. Im shaking my head. Wow, thats crazy. Im really trying to understand whats going on here and why am I attracting this kinda stuff. That day the illegal event took place, I was affirming alot and feeling good and I do believe my ego was fighting it but why would my subconscious want to hold onto being a victim? I dont get it. And what can I do to change it?
59
« on: October 07, 2012, 02:58:46 AM »
I understand what you mean about the ego sabotaging things.
Two thoughts: maybe you can go for a "no thought" type meditation, rather than an affirmation.
I wish I could say something practical and helpful. Know that you have support here, even if not physically present
((x))
Thanks. Im gonna try the no thought meditation
60
« on: October 06, 2012, 08:57:05 PM »
I know I have not been on in while. I was just getting to a place where I wanted to live my life more in person than on a message board. Obviously this is a wonderful forum and it serves its place but I was on too much and started to get burnt out but then something pretty awful happened. I dont feel comfortable saying what it was and im thankful in one respect because something worse couldve happened in that event like rape or assault and it didnt but what did happen was still pretty bad, disrespectful, and against the law. It also brought back up a bit of post traumatic stress in me. The day this took place I was in a great mood and was affirming pretty much everything but I believe that my ego was fighting everything I was affirming. I did read a few posts yesterday and rainbows I believe talked something about this and then it dawned on me. Its just odd that the day I was affirming everyting this took place. My subconscious was fighting all the positive things I was saying and then an event happened that personified all the disrespect I endured from men in the past in a nutshell. I believe now that I shouldnt affirm anything until I am "in the vortex" because I am seeing how sometimes the exact opposite happens when im not and I know thats my ego. I dont really know how to be in the vortex at this moment cause this set me back and I cant make myself do things I enjoy. Im afraid now to even go out. I just need some kind of encouragement from anyone right now just to get through the day because I have to clean and do things around the house and I dont even feel comfortable in my own body right now. I want to run from it.
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