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Messages - Pretty_Smile
Thank you,luvingmenow. And another thing is while we're both getting ourselves together I want him to remember me,still think about me,still love me and be in love with me. I don't want it to be "out of sight,out of mind"
Thanks Stef and Ginny. I really don't know what's wrong with me,I know he loves me and that he wants to be with me,he's told me that he does want a relationship with me and he is gonna continue to stay faithful to me because he doesn't want anyone else but he just needs some time to get out of this phase but for some reason it just isn't clicking to me yet,my brain doesn't really "get it",does that make sense ?
I keep messing up,ugh ! He needs time and space but I caved in and sent him a text message this morning. I asked him was he ok and that a simple yes or no was good and he said yes,I replied back that I'm not trying to bug or smother him but that I just care,that's all and that I know he needs space and I love him enough to give him that. He never replied and I didn't text him anything else. I'm happy to give him the time and space he needs,I just want him to come back and for us to have a stronger,better relationship but I know the more I contact him,the more he'll go in the other direction. Then my mom is spewing out all this negativity about men and relationships too,its too much. I feel so low and lost.
You're right,fluffy. No more excuses,I HAVE to feel think positively. I know/believe that he loves me and is in love with me and that we have a wonderful,happy,loving,fun and romantic relationship. I trust him completely and I know that he's my soulmate.
But now I'm in love with my best friend and he's cute,funny,smart,he has a big heart and many other things. He's been with me through a lot,through my insecurities,my jealousy,me snapping on him,etc. Only recently have I realized how bad this baggage is and I see myself doing the same pattern that I've done in my past and he's made it clear that if it continues that we're over and I don't want all of this baggage to control me anymore. I want a long,beautiful romantic,fun relationship with this guy that leads to a beautiful marriage. I really want this to work,you guys,I wanna have a successful friendship/relationship with this guy.
This might be a long post but I guess this can be called purging lol. Ok,here it goes : I have issues with being insecure in relationships. In my past I've experienced being cheated on,guys who were all lovey dovey with me one day then would ignore me the next,guys who swore up and down that they would always be there for me but when I needed them they were nowhere to be found,etc. And I've become what they call a "bag lady" basically carrying all this stuff with me from relationship to relationship and I can admit that I've sabotaged some of them for a reason that prob won't make sense but it was because I was scared to get hurt again but at the same time I was scared of the relationship actually succeeding because I really don't know how to maintain one which is why most of my relationships never past the 6 mon. mark. I was constantly jealous,suspicious,clingy,needy and a bunch of negative things. Cont'd,pt. 2
@TheKidd what exactly do you do when the other person's attitude isn't so nice ? My dude is kinda being an asshole today and it got to me for a minute,he texted me that he was busy after I got onto him about something but I never texted back cause I didn't feel like responding cause I knew it would lead to something negative and I was already feeling emotional. I feel better but what should I do now ?
He says that a relationship with me is definitely what he wants and that he doesn't want to talk to or date another female besides me. I can definitely agree that we rushed into this and I didn't give him a chance to "earn" (geez,I hope that didn't make me sound like a bitch lol) because I made everything so easy for him and I pressured him a little bit. But we both decided that we need to start over,so what now ?
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