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Messages - Mr Brightside
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« on: January 16, 2013, 05:30:33 AM »
Its all about your own preference. Personally i think effort and visualisation together is the most effective for me. I had things just happen to me , and other things i had to bust my ass to get. So there really isnt a black and white way of approaching manifestations.
Ok i made a edit because i was making things sound hard, which was not my intention. All i am saying is that direct action is required, but they key is when and how you go about it. Abraham Hicks - Leveraging Action With Energy
(The video's owner prevents external embedding)
This will shed light on what i mean, but my point is you still need to take action at one point or another.
« on: January 16, 2013, 02:48:57 AM »
And again... don't act like you are the victim here, because you really are not! No one forced you to do any of this...
This so called A knows you want B but still wants to try, now what does this tell you? A has some weakness and you exploit it by staying...
And as for B... B is a lot stronger since he blocks you out, but you are not respecting this!
You can say what you want about me, call it judgement, call it whatever... I am trying to help here... start with improving yourself... if there is one thing I learned since I am on this forum is that it all starts with you and most people (including myself) can't or couldn't see that...
I do not think you are a bad person, I don't even know you, but you have tp grow up now... A deserves better than 'best I can do right now' and B needs to see love not possesion...
I understand you are making a valid point, but sometimes it’s harder than just the simple leave one person and get it over with. It’s a hard step to make, and I know from the sounds of things in this situation there is a lot of co-dependency in this relationship. I am assuming there are financial ties there that might be difficult to sever or live without. Not to mention the emotional side of things.
So that being said, I know it’s a process. It was really hard for me to break up with someone after a month, not to mention if we had a long relationship like the one you have.
Nobody expects you to just do it tomorrow, but you need to start thinking long term here.
« on: January 16, 2013, 12:28:09 AM »
Well I know you want to be with the other guy. But you have to consider that this isn’t fair to any of the parties involved, and will only get worse in time.
My suggestion is to end it or take a break from A, the guy you are currently seeing. I know it sucks, but you already know that you don’t want to be with him. It’s like settling for a relationship you don’t actually want to be in. So even if you stay, it will not work out long term… it never does.
As for B, simply do this. Send him a message letting him know how you feel, that you are going to be single and work on your issues. Let him simply know that you are committed, and willing to have a relationship. Then just say that you understand he is hurt, wants to have NC but you are still willing to make this work. Then leave it to him to respond and go from there.
I have a feeling B is just hurt from all this, and needs a little time to himself. Once he realizes that you are actually making big changes to make a relationship happen with him, things will start to turn around. Either way, being single is a good thing right now. It will get you out of this mess, and into solving issues you need to address… rather than letting them fester.
« on: January 16, 2013, 12:01:34 AM »
Well not to be a dick or anything , but you are clearly trying to have your cake and eat it too. I mean you want one guy to stay in contact with you, while you are with someone else. But in reality you are really in neither relationship, almost in limbo with both of them.
The guy you are with you want to “try” , yet you are clearly upset that someone else is not also interested in you.
The other guy wants to go NC because he is clearly hurt by all this, and wants to somehow move on with his life and find a stable relationship.
Two things will happen here. Either you are going to lose both, which is the road you are currently on. Or you are going to have one.
You have to choose which one it is , and stick to that. That is the only way to get out of this mess. Until you do that, things will only get worse for you.
Just to make sure you understand, they both want to be with you….. but you cant have both. And you cant sample a little of B, to see if you like it more than A.
So my advice is to take some time from both of them, really think about this … and choose one. Then everything will become easier and clearer.
*On a side note i already knew what you were going to say before you posted. Im a wizard like that, so i would consider what i said*
« on: January 15, 2013, 11:38:20 PM »
"The circumstances are my current relationship and my responsibilities"
So you are with someone else right now?
« on: January 15, 2013, 11:33:49 PM »
I agree, you cant just sit there and wait. You need to actually put effort into what you want. But based on what you said it looks like you are doing that already,
« on: January 15, 2013, 11:14:44 PM »
I think you are already doing it. Just relax a bit about it, and try not to get all worked up. Stress is not going to help the situation.
As far as i can tell there is nothing more you need to do, since things are already flowing pretty good in that area. Just dont get in your own way
« on: January 15, 2013, 11:10:44 PM »
" What I'm feeling is resentment for the circumstances that I feel are keeping me trapped"
What circumstances are these? I think its better to really break down the issue, and what is troubling you. It makes it easier to make changes or approach things in a new way.
« on: January 15, 2013, 10:57:39 PM »
Well I read the crap out of those posts and I have to admit it did make me feel way better. Its funny because there are so many of them ,and all one after another. So its just like a normal thing people getting back together, or at least it makes it feel that way.
Never the less, it made my morning reading all that. Hmm maybe I should make a user account and post my story there
« on: January 15, 2013, 08:46:55 AM »
My point was why look at it like that. Your question alone says you don't think it's you, and that you feel it will make it harder.
But why not you? Why doubt yourself. Don't sell yourself short and try to place yourself in the same category as other candidates.
They are irrelevant , only you matter. It's only harder if you make it. Forget all that and approach it like you are the best and only real candidate
« on: January 15, 2013, 05:49:32 AM »
Statistically and mathematically speaking its not looking good.
« on: January 15, 2013, 05:43:51 AM »
Well i think its a little more complicated than that. There are clearly more stipulations and rules to the whole thing than we know about.
The bottom line is we have a choice in everything. Simple as that, their choice is to stay where they are and live that way. I know it sounds heartless but its true.
Nothing is stopping anyone on this forum from leaving the country they are in, and starting a new life somewhere. New job, new relationship , new anything... thats always available to people if they choose to take it. But like people on this forum, and people in those countries, we are set in our ways.
We want things we are accustomed to, and we are always trying to replicate the old patterns of our life. If we didnt, this forum wouldn't exist because everyone would move on to the next partner, job, career and whatever else and not even put 5 minutes into thinking about it.
Same deal there, people are born there and they are use to it (no matter how ridiculous it looks like to us) So its their choice to be there, and thats what they will keep getting.
And oh yes he wont teach LoA there because he wont make money, lets not kid ourselves here.
« on: January 15, 2013, 01:16:03 AM »
Behave like you are already in one. That’s what I do anyways. Go to a movie or dinner, walk around and chat. See how it goes and act accordingly, if she is interested then go a little further.
That’s what I would do in your situation, go and do “relationship” things with her… take that shyness away by actually just doing things you both enjoy. It’s a good ice breaker, and it doesn’t feel like you are wondering how to get her to date you… because you are already on one
« on: January 15, 2013, 12:35:20 AM »
What she said at the game is pure BS, you know it. Its called testing the water so to speak, she wants to see the reaction you have when she talks about other guys or relationships. Woman are crafty creatures, and shouldn’t be taken lightly. LOL
Since you are still in contact, and actually going out together, it’s a safe bet that things are pretty good between you two. In terms of any negativity left over since the break up.
The question is why she left, and what is she looking for? When she talks about these relationship what is her focus… also know as what kind of characteristics is the looking for. That’s the first clue right there.
If you can address that in any way possible you are miles ahead. Also take each meeting as time to spend and build on the last one, don’t just settle for friends zone. You want more than that, so show her that in an indirect way.
It’s like going to a interview, you want to make the best impression you can … every single time. You want to show you are better “candidate” and trust me she is taking notes. So drop the worry shit, get it together and get her back.
People tell you she likes you, she goes out with you … talks about other guys to get your reaction. How many hints do you need.
« on: January 15, 2013, 12:07:55 AM »
Just relax, she is talking to you for a reason you know. Do you talk to people you don’t like or care about??
Just relax and don’t push the issue so much.
Ever experience when someone likes you, and you know they do. They want to be with you but you are holding back for whatever reason, it can get really awkward. The conversation just feels strained, and in the back of your head you’re thinking oh what you are going to say/do next.
Yea don’t make that kind of environment, make it a happy and enjoyable conversation. One that makes her wonder about when the next time you talk, and now how to avoid the awkward tension.
(not saying this is happening with you, just making a general point)
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