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« on: January 07, 2012, 02:55:22 AM »
Hello! I'm extraordinarily new to this site AND the Law of Attraction, but I really think being in a community that knows more about the Law would be a really good thing! Everyone seems to be overflowing with inspiration! haha
About two months ago, my girlfriend wanted to go on 'break' with me. She never specified whether it was a break-up or for how long, but let me tell you, I took it the worst possible way. I became desperate. I cried. I thought I was going to lose her forever. And you know what? ...it pushed her even further away. (Didn't see that coming, did ya? lol)
We were long-distance, but we called each other every day, talked online, skyped, had vibrant dreams together--everything. We even planned to live together soon. The relationship was amazing. We're also both girls, but she wasn't ready to come out about our relationship to her parents yet. However, when she transferred to a new university, her life became full of stress. We had less time to spend together and the long-distance started getting to me. I became scared of losing her, so I became needy and always looked for reassurance about our relationship until finally...the 'break' happened. I even worried that she didn't like me BECAUSE we're both women even though she always said she loved me.
I look back on that now, and its no wonder she said the spark was gone! ha! I essentially pushed her away by piling my own negative, insecure thoughts on top of her overwhelming stress!!!
In order to avoid causing more damage, I decided to take a little down-time for me and stopped contacting her. I've been working every day to stay positive and regain my stronger self. I'm re-learning to love myself. I do want her back. But I want me back first...
I don't know what this 'break' really is, but I want her to see me with new eyes of love and attraction. I want us to be reconciled--to have a second chance. I want to be a stronger person, and for our relationship to be stronger, and better than it ever was.
For about 7 weeks, we haven't properly spoken. Three weeks ago, she sent me a text asking why I didn't come on our nightly group-chat with mutual friends anymore, but I just said I've been loaded with lots of activities. (I actually have been busying myself with a lot of things, so its true.) She hasn't communicated with me since then, however. Not on Christmas, and not on New Years either. I want nothing more than for us to be together again, so I'm trying my best to stay positive and trust in God, the Universe, and the Law of Attraction. But once every week or so, I miss her so much I start crying or I have a nightmare where I never see her again, does this ruin my manifestation at all? I know this is a process, so I'm trying my best to distract myself.
Some of my family also found out about our relationship, and its suddenly 'out' that I'm a lesbian. So I've been met with a lot of negativity from them.
I apologize if this is too long, but I'm not really sure where to go from here. I really want to be with her again, but I'm also trying my best to be happy by myself! I've gotten a lot of messages from our mutual friends asking me how I'm doing and to come online sometime, but I pulled out the I'm-busy-card too. Any tips or insight would be most welcome! Thank you so much!
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