I've been negative all my life, its my natural way of thinking I guess, I don't even have to think it comes natural to me so trying to change my thoughts to postive and focus on positive is really draining, its like trying to learn another language almost, anyone else get this? I find during the day I always slip back to old ways, its a constant battle.
Exactly. It's like learning to climb the rope and learning to swim. It's hard at the beginning and then things will get easier and easier.
At some point suddenly you see how much progress you made.
Here's fun part: you may even try change your emotions directly to positive ones without scrambling for positive thoughts
Positive thought is very "relative". When you're getting out of state of helpless depression into the state of anger - this is actually "positive" move, although most others would tell you - this is not.
If you'd learn to jump into your emotions directly and then conjure supporting thoughts - this may work faster for you.