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Messages - onetwothreefour
1
« on: May 22, 2013, 04:01:18 AM »
Thank you! This is exactly what i think. If we actually work this out, that would give me a huge amount of motivation to work on myself, to improve myself. So that i can be the best possible me for her. She deserves a great, loving, harmonious relationship. I want to be able to provide her with that.
2
« on: May 22, 2013, 03:32:23 AM »
Yesterday I had a very bad day. Probably the worst in weeks. I broke down crying after i drank myself silly again. For two hours i wandered the streets crying like a damn baby. Not just because of her, but because of my life. And i prayed for God to bring her to me... Today i had a busy day. I concentrated on my studies. I still felt like c*ap, but i used the Sedona method to let go. Just a few minutes ago. She posted on FB. She confessed her love to me. She said that she was looking for an idea, for an illusion and didn't recognize someone who was truly her companion. Me. So she confessed her love. Saying that we are great together and we are both crazy in the same way...(inside joke)  So this is my new update. I will make this work this time. I am curious.
3
« on: May 19, 2013, 12:05:39 AM »
cooperative -- I did. It didn't help. And medication is expensive and has serious side effects.
And i know i have many things i need to take care of. I need to fix many things about myself. But i have no strength to do that. I am completely lost. It takes tremendous effort just to get out of bed in the morning. Just to get face to face with a situation that is devastating to me. I have suffered enough. If i went through all of this out of some karmic reason, then well i have paid my price. I only had one desire. I only wanted one thing. Her. And the universe just refused to give me the only thing i desired. And I did things right. Even by looking at her even by seeing her i've gained tremendous strength. Because I knew we are going to get together. And we did. And then by circumstances that i couldn't control the universe took her away from me. If she didn't move away, we would be happily together still. It is like everything is against me. Saying: Oh no no , you cannot get what you want hahahah!
4
« on: May 18, 2013, 03:38:34 AM »
I did everything right. Trust me. But this whole incident was too much for keeping my vibrations up. I've been depressed for god only knows how long. Was i fully detached? No. But close enough for things to change. And then even though things got worse i kept it up, until they went to a place where i couldn't hold it any longer and insecurities crept back. Why is it that bad things are so easy to manifest? And why is that despite me thinking only positive thoughts being grateful, things get really bad after a while?
5
« on: May 18, 2013, 02:11:14 AM »
That is what i've feared. BUT. Then why did she get together with me in the first place. She was the one who initiated things in the beginning... I love her. And my love is pure. We would be such a great couple and she mentioned before, back in January things that showed that she wants to get together with me. She only considers those guys her friends. She told me that. Similar things happened before, when we weren't together yet. She told me about all the different dudes, and her ex and etc. And eventually she still wanted to get together with me. I've screwed it up, by writing emails to her after she moved out. I basically told her that if she still loves her ex, and i cannot make her happy then i will just let her go. And even after that she wanted to be with me... This is what i fear. That i love a shadow... Someone who doesn't exists. But i love her and i know her. And that cannot happen... I just need more hope that we will be together.
6
« on: May 18, 2013, 01:20:56 AM »
She isn't playing with me. She is not that kind. She has a lot going on... She could have changed that much in 4 months... I know more about her then her best friend. She has told me everything about herself. She has gone through everything really. And she has a lot going on. She has a new job, lives at home and her relationship with her parents aren't very good. She got kicked out of University in January, moved two times since then... She has sent me on Tuesday a letter in which she told everything to that first guy. She is smart really smart. She tried to help this guy. Analysed him and told him all his problems and how he could solve them etc. She cared about him still, because she cares about anyone. If she sees someone how has problems she immediately wants to help him/her. This isn't the first time. But the fact that only a week ago she wrote a post on FB in a joking matter that once we finish school we go abroad together... Initiated contact many times all by herself. We talked again just like old times. And i really kept my vibration up and detached but then this second guy came into the picture. He needed his computer fixed so she helped him. And something happened, because she wrote a FB post that day explaining, that WTF, why people nowadays just want to take away what they want, and expect everyone to do the same. They have spent the whole day together and she didn't mention what happened. Nothing. She didn't want to tell me about the first incident because she didn't want to hurt me and it meant nothing to her. But i don't know why is this happening? I kept up my vibration. I was detached. And things still went sideways all over again... I don't know what else could i do. All this has happened on Saturday. She wrote that byebye letter to the first guy on Wednesday... Something happened... It wasn't my creation. I did my best and put all probable insecurities aside. I kept up my vibration, did RS. And things started happening a week ago but then... They went back to the same c*appy place.
Two weeks ago when that first incident happened we talked about this. About us. She told me that she didn't want to tell me that because she didn't want to hurt me. I told her my concerns about this. That I want to get together with her, but I don't know what to hope anymore. She said: Then let me go G. I told her I don't want to, and that all that i have written to her were true, that i love her. She replied: I know... But the problem is with making it happen right now :S. circumstances aren't right :S.
All i feel now is that i have no place in her life. And that she doesn't want to make any for me. I love her. And i know her quite well. But this distance is killing me. That i cannot be an active part of her life like i used to...
7
« on: May 17, 2013, 02:11:13 AM »
I am going through it again... Thing were going so good. She was talking to me by herself. Contacted me all by herself and she even told me things that we could work out but circumstances are not good right now. She posted me things again on fb. But then things got worse and worse... She grew really distant. We still talk. But she grew really close to two people in particular. The one who was really pushy and another one. She even told me after that pushy incident, that she was hesitant to tell this to me, because she didn't want to hurt me. And that if it meant anything to her or something serious happened she wouldn't have told me in the first place. Now back on Saturday she's spent the whole day with another dude. She talked to me about him before, that they are so much on the same wavelength and that guy is cute and wants to be with her.... Something happened between them according to a fb post of hers from that day. And she didn't tell me anything about that. Now she grew distant, all over again. She is doing fine without me and she spends more time with these two people than with me. She told me about the first dude, that she thinks he is a jerk and an A.hole. But she talks with him all the time and ignores me. I love her so much but now i don't know what to do. For a whole week i did my RS on her and gained results and kept up my high vibe. And all of a sudden these things happen. She says one things and does another. I am so confused. She started to go down a path where she grows more and more distant. I don't know what to do about this, i don't know what to think. I only feel that i will never ever be someone good enough in her eyes. She can get over someone so easily, it is like everything we ever went through didn't matter and it was nothing for her than just a joke... I don't know what to do... I am not just unable to keep my vibrations up, but because of her attitude towards me i now think that i don't even deserve her and she thinks the same. So i am not even sure about my desire.... I hate that things can go from great to f**ked up so fast... And every time i want to get together with her and put great effort into it and try to let go something good happens and then despite my attitude i hit the floor again... IT sucks
8
« on: May 13, 2013, 02:14:55 PM »
I am working on a success story like this. Hope one day I will write it down here.
9
« on: May 10, 2013, 12:56:14 AM »
Today. After two days of doing my kind of RS. The loving type. She posted something to me on facebook. That jokingly said that after we graduate we move abroad and i can decide where . She is into buddhism and she wants to tattoo on herself Om mani padme hum (I showed her this matra), so i jokingly replied that we will tatoo our fully bodies with mantras and go to Tibet to become buddhist priests  . Also today she initiated contact with me. And told me that she is going to meet another "friend" of hers who also wants to be with her, and that she is afraid that this someone wants something from her as well...
10
« on: May 08, 2013, 07:19:18 PM »
This is a reply letter I wrote to one of the members who asked me about RS/RI. I hope some of you find it helpful. It is my personal experience. Hi! I've only used that mp3 like twice. I mainly did it by my own methods, which is kind of simple. I do it from heart and it comes naturally. As I've found out in RS/RI letting go is just as important as it is in LOA in general. So after you've done a session think about that particular person with love. Unconditional love. You know it is unconditional that if you think about that you two will never be together ever, you would still love that person. And after you've reached that state just let it go and don't even think about it. My theory is that different energies can be transmitted to other people. So RS is not that related to LOA. LOA still works if you use RS appropriately, but it is about sending energy to the other person. Have you ever had a precognition that somebody is going to call you? That is energy transfer as well. They thought about you, wanted to call you and sent their energies to your subconscious, and therefore if that energy was powerful enough you had that feeling. I think the same is true for RS. I've used two types of Remote seduction. 1, Sexual remote seduction: In this type i transferred my raw sexual energies and the energy of euphoria to the other person. Sexual feelings are very powerful ones almost as powerful as love so therefore they can be very convincing so to say. The key is to visualize in full detail. See everything you would see. Hear everything you would hear. Feel, sense, taste everything you would. And imagine different scenarios where you are having sex with your "target". It might sound embarassing or weird, but to increase your own arousal, therefore your energy you could masturbate while doing this. And imagine how you would give enormous pleasure to your "target". The focus is on them. How you would make them feel. Imagine how every little motion, every caress, every touch, kiss would cause them huge euphoria. How they would have big-big orgasms while you are doing this. I also did that i went into their perspective. How they would feel in first person. How much desire, lust they would feel towards me. And how they would feel an irresistible attraction and desire to have sex with me. I've used different types of sex. For example a really wild and passionate one, or a slow loving tender one as well. But I always kept the focus on the other person, because it makes me contented to cause euphoria like this. I've never given this any time frame. I did this all from heart, i did it naturally, because i am really good at imagining in full detail everything i want. 2, Loving Remote Seduction: Loving Remote seduction is different from sexual RS. Because here you send the energy of love to the other person. The kind of love that can set the world on fire. Passionate, deep, affectionate, mutual. You imagine in full detail different scenarios where you would be together with that person. You imagine how much love you would feel for them, and of course how much they would love you. This love should be really deep, and pure. Imagine how you would kiss them, caress them, hold their hands and feel this love throughout it. This just as sexual RS depends on you, I've never used pink balls of energy or other stuff like that i just let my mind run wild. Imagine what I would do if we were together and madly in love, without problems, without worries. Just love. I also imagined from the perspective of the other person. How they would feel the same love for me and would want to hold my hand, kiss me, caress me etc. For me this wasn't something i let go of. I would let go of the attachment to this imaginary reality, but i would still feel this love throughout the day, and daydream these scenarios whenever i had the time. So these are the RS methods I've used. Some days it did them other days i didn't. It was always in the beginning of a relationship or with people I've just met, so there was no attachment to it. Also. I didn't use it purposefully. I did them because they made me feel good. It was like a game in my mind. Imagining different scenarios, having my desires fulfilled. It felt good. But because there wasn't much emotional bond between me and the people i did this on i could keep myself centered and detached. Of course there were times when i wasn't detached and they still worked. Now my success Stories: My previous ex from two years ago. I did these things on her. And despite the age difference between us she got really attracted to me in like a few weeks and we started to grow really close to each other. Sometimes after doing a week of RS of both types she just immediately blushed even when I just said hello. And she slowly started to develop feelings for me. There were various girls i did sexual RS on. Sometimes even when we were in the same room. Some of them never even looked at me before, but after my 'session" they did look at me and they blushed and it was visible that they became attracted. The girl I write these days about. The girl i love E. I attracted her to me using these techniques. When i did RS she even mentioned almost every time we talked that for some reason she is so aroused recently and she doesn't know why. And she brought up the topic of sex almost every time we talked. Many times we watched movies together and after the movie she mentioned that we should watch porn instead, and sometimes we did even though we weren't together at the time. And i did RS for a week. And she reached a level that she couldn't handle anymore and pretty much jumped on me, it was really intense and passionate, just as I have imagined a week before. When i shifted from sexual RS to loving her whole attitude changed in like a week. She started mentioning that we would be a great couple together, that we are a great team. She even talked with her girlfriends about how perfect I am and she told me these things. She became much more affectionate towards me. And had slips of the tongue that were very interesting. For example: we talked about flowers and their meanings and whether it is romantic or not to give flowers in a relationship. And her tongue slipped and said that I have an easy time with her because she doesn't like to receive flowers. And always wanted to be in my company. But sexual RS can backfire easily. Because you mainly send sexual energy. it increases their libido. Like my girl didn't know where she received those energies from she became more flirtatious in general. So it might make them satisfy their needs somewhere else. but in my experience loving RS is much more intimate and direct. If you live with the person you want to attract. Then use both. This was the case with me and my girl. We were living together spent a loooot of time with each other so it was obvious that she would feel this sexual tension between us that was very intense. We were like two overcharged magnets. So this is all i know about RS. I hope it helps!
11
« on: May 08, 2013, 04:25:45 AM »
I want to be with her. And I am willing to do anything for that. NC would destroy me at this point I know. I don't want her out of my life. But her life is pretty complicated right now. She cut all contact from her friends because they grew apart and she only received hurt from them. She wants to be alone to heal herself completely. I will be here for her if she wants to talk. There is not much i can do. Yesterday she told me that right now circumstances are not right for us to work. And yeah, i have exams to finish, she has a job to do etc. I won't go NC but I think she needs some distance. I will do RS/RI regardless because I had some great successes with these techniques. I can send energy very effectively. What I can do I think is I stay here for her if she wants to talk. Do RS/RI. Work on myself, concentrate on my studies. And try my best to detach, and believe that we are going to be together. And of course do all the LOA techniques and methods. I want to be with her. I love her. I want her to love me back and to be in a loving, harmonious relationship with me. Period. It is a time for self-reflection and growth for both of us. And it seems we both want to grow in the same direction and not apart so it is good.
12
« on: May 07, 2013, 08:58:38 PM »
Thank you! I understand these things, but thanks for clarifying. I did get angry at the person. But her facebook post just told me that she indeed HAD romantic interest in this guy. I didn't write down everything, but it was very ambiguous. And she did hibernate herself. She is going through a hard time. And I care deeply about her, believe me the only thing i want now is to hug and comfort her like i used to when she had something rough going on.
13
« on: May 07, 2013, 05:52:22 PM »
I have a very strange UPDATE from yesterday. I've finally found out why she was so nonresponsive in the past couple of days. This update kind of broke my heart and gave me hope at the same time.
So there is a guy in her life right now. They were having great conversations in the past. And by her account he was just a friend. But they really talked a lot and had fun with each other for a couple of days. She knows him for two months now. And on Saturday she went to a bar with this guy to talk (I wrote her that i love her and miss her on wednesday and thursday, to which she only replied on friday). And the guy became really pushy. He embraced her, grabbed her ass and kissed her. Then he tried the same a couple of times. But she rejected him. And went home. The next day the guy started to play mind games with her and lied. That he just wanted to use her, she doesn't mean anything to her, blablabla. Then she found out the truth that this guy has some long distance relationship and he feels that he has cheated on his girlfriend. My Ex knew about this relationship before. So he confessed that he feels some kind of strange attraction to my E. and sometimes he wants to be with her sometimes he doesn't. But he wants to stay friends. To which E replied that she doesn't need a friend who lies to her and tries to pick her up (she told me this).
And yesternight she posted something on FB. About how disappointed she is in people in general. That some people can be so stupid. Why can't they decide what they want, because they are so afraid. They are afraid of loving because of their stupidity and ego. And that they rather lie than to live up to their emotions. And she at least protected herself from another disappointment, because she rejected someone who doesn't know whether he needs her, loves, her or what. That people of opposite kind can fall in love but it recquires the two to be genuine etc. --- So the whole post was like this. So she either writes in an ambiguous way and she only meant this in general to tell this someone how much of a dick he is. OOOR she was disappointed because she wanted to get together with this guy.
So this is what broke my heart.
What gave me hope is the following.
I went online on facebook and i Though she wrote these things about me or something. So i asked her what's up. Then she told me the full story. Told me that she got really mad about a pathetic guy friend of hers. That this whole kissing was against her will. And she avoided talking to me because she felt guilt and didn't know how to tell me or to tell me at all about this. But this is nothing really because it meant nothing for her she just got disappointed in someone. So I told her that this just broke my heart again, that it appears by her post that she is already scanning the market while she knows that i am here waiting for her to get her life straightened out (as i've told you we would have worked but she was in love with her ex, moved away, lost her job etc. and told me that right now she is not ready for a relationship because she need to get over her ex), and she just have forgotten all about me and that I got disappointed now as well, and everything i wrote her, that i love her miss her so much. It was true. But it hurts and i don't know if i can put up with this anymore i had to watch her leave me like 5 times in three months ( to this she replied: "Then let me go G..." my response was: "I don't want to... I just don't know what to think).
To this she replied that she isn't scanning the market, she didn't want to get together with this guy. And she knows how much it might hurt me that is why she didn't want to tell me, so i wouldn't get hurt, and this is wh she was so distant and cold recently :S but it really meant nothing to her so it is no big deal, and that she knows that everything i told her was true, but for now because of many things we cannot make this work :S. Then i told her that i understand that right now there are many things standing between us, and that i have to think about this whole thing and i need to get my shit in order as well. Then i left without waiting for her response. Haven't talked ever since.
I don't really know what to think right now. I am suspicious because of her post on facebook. But i am positive because the first thing she had in mind is that she doesn't want to hurt me. And she felt guilt for this incident which if she tells the truth wasn't her fault at all. So right now i don't know what to think. How to respond to this whole thing. I still love her. And if she even wanted to get together with this douche i would accept it if she eventually comes back to me. But I think i will concentrated on my studies now. i have to get my mind off of these things before i overthink it. BTW: yesterday I've let go, or give up to be more precise. I was really low, and just didn't care about anything anymore. Strange. But i will stick to my desire nevertheless.
14
« on: May 06, 2013, 07:40:00 PM »
Thank you guys! I agree wolf. It is easier to maintain my illusion of having her back in my life if i don't have to see the reality of the situation. If i don't have to see how much fun she has with others etc. Did you get back your ex, wolf?
15
« on: May 06, 2013, 06:17:55 PM »
First of all: sorry for my negativity and for that I've brought down your positivity in the past. I know many of you are annoyed by my constant blabber and negativity. Understandable. Because I am probably the most negative person you could ever meet right now. I would like this topic to be the last I start here for a while. As some of you probably know I went through serious suffering. Hit rock bottom many times. Not as hard as this time though. 8 years of serious depression had brought me to a place where I am just a shell. Not a functioning human being. I vegetate my life through. I have serious problems. In my personality. The normal state of mind for me is self-pity, depression, negativity. These 8 years have made their toll on me seriously. I didn't have many relationships before. But I know what real love is. I can love very deeply and I am proud of that. I met a girl in September last year and she quickly grew close to my heart. We had the most amazing time together. We could talk for 16 hours straight and wouldn't even notice. i gradually fell in love with her. Her whole personality. I've used RS/RI and LOA to attract her to me. And it was successful. She got so attracted to me that this tension could be felt in the air around us. I used RS/RI successfully and eventually she wanted to be with me and desired me very much. And even told me that we would be a great couple together. Everything seemed fine. But in February she had to move away. She got dropped out of University and had to move 80 miles away. But things seemed fine even then. But I was afraid of losing her so I wrote her a message in which I cofessed my love to her. She told me that she was still in love with her ex, but she fell in love with me as well, that she likes me as a partner. She wrote me a card on FB on Valentines day that she misses me and would like to visit me. And a few days later she did. We were together the whole day, but then she had to go back to her city. By that time it seemed that we would get together for sure. But I sensed some resistance on her part because she was still in love with her ex. So out of fear, i wrote to her a message in which I explained that I was unsure, I know that she still loves her Ex and I don't want to be a third wheel and if I cannot make her happy then I should just let her go. She got mad, but eventually we started talking again after a week. But a few days later after that she told me that I was right and she cannot take responsibility for someone else right now because it is unfair to heal by going into a new relationship. So we agreed to stay friends and we talked without problem for a month, in this time she seemed to care about me still and our conversations were still great. And she even mentioned that she isn't ready for a relationship for like 2-3 months. She seemed to be still interested in me. But as she slowly moved on with her life i was left here disappointed and devastated. I got drunk many times and wrote her messages in which I pleaded, begged, asked for an answer on what I meant to her. She always said that she likes me and respects me. But due to the pressure of my letters and my clingyness she grew distant. I attracted some conversations and a phone call from her since then, but nothing major. She has fun with other people. There are like 8 people in her life right now who would like to get together with her. And there is someone now with who she seems to be getting along really well. I am kind of afraid that they might get together, because they are a lot like each other. So here I am right now. Depressed. Devastated and disappointed about myself, my value, and love. But i want her back. Because what we had between us was truly amazing. This level of companionship is truly rare. We are a lot like each other. Share a lot of same interests. Think alike. And even look alike. Our faces are really look alike and our smiles even. I had breakups before as you've probably encountered by my previous posts from a year ago. But I've never felt like this. To me there are no other women. She is the only one I could imagine my life with. I feel that she is my partner. Today I wrote to her that I sorry and I apologize for everything, but I miss her so very much. To which she only replied: "Hy! No problem:)) oh come on! )" So she didn't say she misses me as well. It was just a polite response.  (( I love her. I want to get back together with her and share a wonderful new relationship in which both of us finally can experience true love, happiness and harmony. I am in love with E. And I want her to fall in love with me as well. I want us to be together in a long-term loving relationship. I sorry for my constant negativity. But I really went through hell in the previous years and it left me completely empty. But I want her back in my life. I want us to be together. What do you guys suggest? Should I go NC? Do you have any additional advice that are not in the getting your Ex back resource thread? Or recent success stories that are not included there?
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