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Eyewonder,

i looked at your other posts on the forums to make sure you werent a bot, or just one of the jerks that frequent the forums trying to stir the pot because they dont understand this.
 
and it looks like youre not.  so i have to ask why you would even post something like that?  you are right you cant force anyone to love you.  nobody is trying to force anyone to love them.  this is in fact the same way people are attracted to each other most of the time.  someone like someone else, they think about them, they day dream about being with em, and if the desire is strong enough guess what happens.
 
with an ex its easier in some ways.  you arent trying to make a new connection, you alreayd have a connection.  you are just trying to align yourself with that connection again.  as well as aligning with yourself.  if its not ment to be, it wont be.  no matter how hard you try, or even if you get back together.  if its a dead end road it will lead to the same place every time.

some people start this journey wanting their ex and ending up with another.  some people decide they dont want their ex back.  some people end up with their ex.  any way it goes, you get what you want eventually.

the question does my ex still love me?  doesnt even apply.  they do.  once you share that connection with someone its never gone.  if you have questions on how it all works feel free to ask.  please do keep your comments encouraging to the members here.   otherwise youre gonna have to deal with mariposa, and let me tell you, id rather wrestle a pissed off bull 

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very well said tereza.  to me, if we had perfect faith, we could walk on water and fly.  to say that something is impossible shows limit.  i refuse to believe in limiting what my faith will allow me to do.   

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awesome!  thanks for posting this.  thats funny because i was just sitting here contemplating financial stuff. 
Ill definitely give this a try!  thanks again!

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Breakups out of losing interest in one of the partners = Not Possible to get together..

Huh?  thats laughable right there.  maverick how old are you?  i have seen people get back together even when things went down hill because of a loss of interest.  but hey your beliefs are your beliefs and i hope you never have to get smacked by em. 

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i just gotta say it really is awesome to see everyone pitching in to help each other.  you all are very beautiful people and the foundation for generations to come. 

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ya this is an awesome post, i think it should be read once a week by those beginning the process and should be reviewed often by those that have moved a long a bit.

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Maverick, please dont quote me on anything or any where. 

Thank you

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awesome irish.  see youll be fine.  you did need to get those feelings out and its good you did.  its much better then holding them in and letting them fester. 

and you should never think you arent beautiful......with a smile like that how could you think that?

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I have put myself in her position and thought about it. I honestly don't think she has even a single valid reason for leaving me. -----You havent looked hard enough then.  its not about what you feel its about what she feels.  she left you, she had a good enough reason to do so.  figure it out.
 
 But I would love it if something happens without us meeting. She has just to utter the word, take a first step, show some sign and I will go running to meet her come hail or storm.----i understand your love for her, however this thought process is a problem.  you arent detached at all if you are thinking like this.  you need to back off and focus purely on yourself now.  keep your love for her close to your heart, but dont make it such a priority that you would drop everything and go running.  heck she might have changed by now and not be the same woman.  have you thought about that yet?  are you willing to accept those changes without even knowing about them?  you may go running back to a situation thats worse.  ALWAYS keep you head on straight and put your needs first.  you arent a couple, you arent responsible for her needs. 

look.  you dont need to actually find the reason she left you.  you need to learn to accept that you did something that pushed her that far.  its that simple.  even if you dont see it.  even if it was just your thoughts, you did something here.  ask for it to be shown to you if you want.  hell i did that and it hasnt stopped yet.  my eyes are opened to something new every day. 

you will be fine.  i suggest you stop worrying about him and just focus on her.  you and her if you want her back.  the more you think about him, the more hes gonna be in the picture.

hope that helps a bit bud.  i know where youre at.  ive been there.  youre on the right track, you just gotta focus on your destination more then the scenery getting to it.  love is a great thing when you let it be. 

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arminhul.  i have read so many stories here from people, please excuse me that i dont remember you full story.  so if you posted responses to this already in a previous post Im sorry.  I have to ask you though.  I read in there that you didnt do anything to deserve this.  I would have to argue.  You did.  Because it happened.  There is no other explanation. 

Youre first step is to figure out what you did.  Put yourself in her shoes.  Think like her.  If you really love her, that wont be too hard.  The answers you find might be hard to face, but they will only help you.  When you find what you are looking for, you then have a decision to make.  Were those reasons good enough to have left you?  Are those things you wish to change about yourself or not?  You might find you like how you are and dont want to change.  In that case its time to walk away and let go completely.

Its hard as hell when you dont hear back.  So dont write, call or text for now.  There will come a time when you will feel strong enough to do it.  Right now theres too much desperation.  My girl walk out on me, agreed to continue the convo another day, and i never heard from her again.   I never got to say anything to her about how i felt.  So i know the frustration.  I tried to contact her several times and it got me no where.  Now i dont really bother.  I can look at her face book with out really stressing on if she is in a picture with a guy or not.  I just enjoy seeing her.  Everything about her lights my insides on fire. 

You need to understand one thing right now.  You dont NEED her.  You can survive with out her.  Her coming and going is a by product of YOUR thought process.  As you learn to change your thought process, you will learn that you dont need her and will be able to detach easier. 

you will be fine.  i dont see you as a slouch.  put in the work and you will reap the rewards.   

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lol i wont give ya a slap but ill give ya a pep talk  .  what are you doing right now to deal with those thoughts?  i would probably try to explore them, if youre comfortable doing so, and see what the root of them are.  Insecurities?  Fear of rejection?  then you can deal with it at the root.  as you know once you start with one and give it too much thought it will produce another which produce two more and so on.  so replace those scenarios.  ok, so your brain wants to go through the what ifs.  let it.  as soon as you complete your first negative what if.  tell yourself, ok thats fine, but what if it happens this way? and day dream away about it going great.  get emotional, smile and love every moment of it.
its natural to be nervous.  your reaction is natural.  its your brain warning you of the possible dangers.  you just gotta let it know of the possible bliss.

hope that helps a bit.  i am sure everything will be fine.

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great advice angel.....god i love these forums

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ok i will be completely honest then.........who the hell are you trying to fool?  cause you arent fooling me.  you emailed her to tell her how bad things were for sympathy.  you did it in hopes she would feel bad and contact you and you could work from there.  you mailed him because you were mad, i dont doubt you had some good intention in there, but what i have no clue.  theres no point in emailing him.  she blocked you for a reason.  accept it.  if you were truley detached, you would have never emailed her or him.  you would stop bsin yourself about it and move on.  look man its cool to not be detached, it doesnt mean anything besides you need more time.  its clear in your first post it annoys you that he didnt respond.  why the hell would he.  to be honest that just made you look like a royal p****.(...i will only star that out due to the women here, if it offended anyone i do apologize.)

man my girl started talking to someone the day after we broke up, which ya she musta been talkin to him before.  do i want to whoop his ass.  not really, its not his problem and he has nothing to do with anything.  he is a byproduct of my thoughts and beliefs at the time.  just as he will soon be again if he isnt already.  either way not my issue what or who she does.  honestly she could be screwing 10 guys right now and its just not my issue.  if i saw it or knew it for sure, i would only be hurt because she is only hurting herself. 

look, dont bother with her.  if you are detached then you have no reason to carry on with any of this.  in fact your response to this should be the last of it, if you decide to respond.  unfortunately i can feel the negativity in your posts and the frustration comes through loud and clear.  if i can pick up, better believe your ass she can too(and without saying a damn thing to her).  get over all the negative feelings towards either of em.  heres something to help you out..............ITS ALL YOUR FAULT.  so be mad at yourself and then get over that too.  she has no reason to contact you and wont until you relieve yourself of the negativity.

now.  since i beat you up here.  i do just wanna say.  yes you are allowed to screw up.  more then once even.  we all have.  and im sure that im not done with the screwing up.  but the thing is, if you screw up you gotta fess up to it.  not partially, but fully.  intentions behind it and everything.  you dont need to do it here.  you need to do it in your head.  i know where youre at.  ive been there.  hell i still have my days where i miss the shit outta her.  you think i didnt want to call her on new years?  you think im not sitting here wondering if i should atleast text her on her bd at the end of the month?  the whole thing is, what are the motivations?  you really gotta look at that.  new years i missed her, so i didnt bother.  her birthday is more of just because its a special day to her and even though she may ignore me, im sure she would like to know shes being thought of.  but i personally dont even know if i should do that.  only time will tell.

good luck man.  i hope that wasnt too harsh.  i do want nothing but the best for everyone.  ive gotten my ass rippings like this too.  and man, if you end up facing the facts, and it sucks, and you are mad at yourself and anger, then thats cool.  even if its towards them.  just dont react off of it and just let it work itself through.  its hard, its painful at times, but damn is it rewarding when you get through the storm.

many blessings to you.

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well it does sound like you had a day.  I am sorry to hear that.  everyone has those days.  what i find helpful is to look at the bright side.  you almost got hit but didnt, thats a good thing.  you almost fell but didnt.  another good thing.  you allowed an old lady to vent and get out some frustration.  dont take it personal. 

as far as your brother.  dont wish bad things on him.  i know its a pain to deal with someone like that.  how?  because i lived with someone like that.  myself.  people that are frustrated with themselves or the situation theyre in take it out on people they care about the most.  i did it to my girl.  ive done it to my mom.  ive done it to a few people in my life ive cared about.
   
my advice for pretty much everything.  dont take it personal.  crap happens.  you have to pick up and move on.  find what positive you can and be grateful for learning.  if you havent you might wanna try to talk to your brother about how he is making you feel.  he will probably get pissy and annoyed, but he will process it when the pride has mellowed out.

now the relationship thing.  you are very young.  if you want to give up thats on you.  its your choice and nobody can make you change your mind.  i would just have to ask why? 

i posted a link to a video earlier in the week i believe.  if you take a look at it you will hear one of the best quotes for a situation like this where you feel hopeless and full of pain.  hes talking about quiting on what you want because youre in pain and it hurts.  and he says something to the effect of, why quit? youre already in pain so why not get something for it?  when youre going through the process of trying to attract someone back, theres gonna be pain.  theres gonna be times of hurt.  but why give up on what you want just cuz it takes a lil work? or just because it doesnt go how you want it to?  sometimes things dont, and theres a very good reaosn for it. 

you need to sit back and relax.  list what things you have now that you are grateful for.  list what is coming your way that you are grateful for.  list lessons you have learned from bad events and how you are grateful for what you have learned from them.  above all.  learn to love yourself.  there is nothing more important in my mind then to love yourself.  if you cant do that, you cant love anyone else, and they cant love you. 

keep your head up.  things will work out how they should.  they always do 

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This always seems to happen to me, like I feel I'm the best guy there is for a girl I'm pursuing, then some guy comes out of nowhere and steals her away.   

this is your under lying belief........change this belief and you will change everything. 

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