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Law of Attraction for Relationship / please please help me get a solution and reply

« on: July 05, 2012, 08:26:29 PM »

I m in big trouble, I need some help ASAP. I just dont know where my life is going and what I have to do with it. I have been in years of misery but i havent found the right path yet. whatever i want goes away from me. Infact i have started getting suicidal thoughts and have attempted those as well. I m scared all the time. everywhere i go i find a closed door. My relationships are on stake and the people i love just leave me n walk away.  i studied masters, but i m not motivated to find a job at all. My family is very supportive and caring, but i dont like being around anyone. i feel like a loser in life. Earlier few years back i got involved in a guy who left me in a month and got married to someone else. he gave me reasons that since his parents dint want us to be together, he just dumped me and walked over my emotions and left me... I have been finding true love since past 15 years... I always gave love importance coz i felt if thats in place, i will win the world... but no thats not the case, everytime i come close to someone they leave me and walk away... i just dont understand wats wrong.... I had a friend whom i met accidentally at my university on the last day.... he liked me since day one and i too liked him, but he was very dominant and his anger was always on the peak... So i thot to keep a normal friendship with him and not think much about him... for 2 years he stuck to me saying that he likes me, but i ignored coz i dint want to hurt him when things dint work between us... something happened in March this year and we stopped communicating. I lost my job and i m on bench since then. In april, in just like some 20 days i contacted him, coz i was missing him and knew it was love for him, but unfortunately he said he was getting married... I was ok with that, i was ready to leave thinking its all one sided... But he said he loved me and he lost me, His marriage was too soon, we dint even get a chance to handle things. But love kept buliding, we spoke day in day out and even met. When we met that was the time i realised that he is all i want, he and i are meant to be together... I asked him to call off his wedding, and get us together, he was the decision maker... he said even if he wanted to be with me he couldnt do that... His parents would never accept this and he dint want to hurt his family. He knew that we wouldnt be happy, but he said that we wl cope up with this and start living and get used to things... I cried, i begged, i fought but he dint change his decision. He kept saying, onli God can help us out, if he wants we will be together... I told him that no one is gonna come to help us until we take a step ahead.. I agree that he was right, we dont have the right to hurt our family for our happiness, but if we are not happy how will be make others happy... He is married now and i have absolutely stopped contacts with him, but i know that we are not happy, we both are suffering... I just dont have a way to get him back, but i want him back... I dont wanna contact him coz i knw as soon as i enter his life his focus from his wife will be diverted towards me and he will feel more miserable... I dont wanna go the wrong way, i wanna get him the right way, making everyone happy...All i know is that we both are the reasons for each others happiness.. We have fought so much and said that we wont talk to each other but deep within me i know, we love each other a lot.. There is a hope that we will be together someday but i dont know how, i dont know what to do... I just cant stop thinking of him, I cant focus anywhere.... everything is come to standstill.... there is just darkness everywhere... I cant go and take some professional help, as i dont want my family to worry about me, i want to be happy, i want to make others happy with me... i m just too demoralised with everything.... This was the major thing and prime importance but adding to all this there are many other things that keeps me away from happiness.... I have become so isolated, i dont even like to get out of my room. I have read so much about law of attraction, motivational books and much more... But nothing seems working, my mood just doesnt change, back of mind its always running that i have lost my life, i have no way out now.... I m totally entangled.... I need help... i really do need some help ASAP to get out of this and have a life... I want My love back too, i know he is not happy.... i want everything that i have lost... i just want to be complete... I m tired of this frustration and depression... i want joy and fullfillment... Please help me....

He has sent me a casual email too, I want to talk to him, hear him, reply to his email coz i know he is waiting too... But i just cant do anything... I know the moment we will talk we will be in the same situation, we love each each other but cant be with each other.... I mean i just dont understand how to get him back.... How do i manifest things to fall in place and we be happy together.... I want that he is free from this marriage and we are together... I know i m wrong in asking this, i know the other female has just started her life with him, but I too cant stay w/out him, and he is gonna live a life, where his practical decisions are important then his decisions from his heart... He says he is gonna love me always, but he has to keep everyone happy.... i just dont understand what to do... He cant leave me fully and he cant accept me totally.... I just want to be with him and make him happy with me...

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