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« on: August 03, 2012, 03:15:59 PM »
its been a long two years and i have never given up! my husband decided to break our marriage two years ago saying he didnt love me anymore! i was devestated, this was my best friend who i have known and been with for 7 years! it was so heart breaking. i turned into an emotional wreck, crying, pleading, begging...the more i did, the more he resented me, the more he didnt want to see me or have anything to do with me. he was in love with another woman, he left me for her and that made it even more painful.
despite all this, i knew i loved him, i knew i wanted to be with him no matter what...despite everything i persisted! i kept hoping, knowing that one day we will be together. i changed myself and slowly started working on us becoming friends again, on us connecting again and left the relationship on the side for a while.
i saw him a month ago, i was over his city for a few weeks, at first he wouldnt even hug me, he kept pulling back, resisting but by the end just before I left we went for a lovely dinner and he started holding me so tight like he use to do saying he will help me deal with my work and financial problems....it has changed from him never answering my texts or calls to him picking up when i call and becoming more responsive....the last time i spoke to him he mentioned something about him becoming single again, i asked completely single? and he said yes meaning he has left the other woman...he still not talking about reconciliation but i see alot of positive changes in our relationship...i am due to visit his city again in two weeks and i am really looking forward to us seeing each other and talking....
maybe it is not a success story yet but it is a huge improvement from how things were, what worked for me is not resisting him, accepting his decisions and employing what i call KIND POWER! trust me that is the most powerful thing of all...despite how distant and how much he pushed me away i never became aggressive or angry, i continued to love him unconditionally and it got to the point where it didnt matter whether he was with me physically or not or whether i had him or not...i got so much pleasure from just loving him, from feeling that in my chest and from the thought putting a smile on my face...i guess that is detachment...the strangest thing is despite all the times he said i dont love you, deep inside i didnt believe that, deep inside i felt the opposite, could never explain it but i always knew and still know that he does! i am not in denial, it is my gut feeling and my gut feeling has always been right
hope this is useful to someone searching for answers...sending all positive energy
love and light
« on: May 10, 2012, 02:32:47 AM »
i know it has been long time since i was on here. been busy but the positive is that I have some progress to report. After 2 years of not wanting me to step foot in our house, he finally agreed that i can stay with him when i visit his country in a few weeks. As you can imagine i am quiet nervous as all the communication between us was mainly about the divorce for many months and lately just friendly chat. The last time we spoke he said he is tired of this divorce talk and just want to take a break from it and i agreed, he hasnt said anything about getting back though but it is ok. he hasnt finalised it yet and maybe at the back of his mind he wants to spend some time with me first before he does. I know he is still seeing the other woman, whom he had an affair with which led to us breaking up but he says it is not serious!!!
anyway I am so excited and nervous at the same time, i wont be sharing the room with him, i will stay in the guest room next to his but being in the same house with him for five weeks is a big step for me and ofcourse i dont want to screw it. i know it is a great chance to reconnect with him and i want to make sure i do. I know the other woman is still in the picture but i dont want to focus on that and make it an obstacle.
I need advice, opinions from friends on here on how to conduct myself during that time. He says he wants us to remain friends and i guess that is why he agreed to let me stay. the other reason could be that it would have cost him alot of money to find me alternative accomodation and the house is in joint names. He didnt allow me to go back into the house for two years and i havent been.
I am excited to see my house again and be home and just to spend some time with him. I have a very good feeling about this, i dont know why but i never lost hope and i am finally seeing signs of a positive outcome.
Would appreciate any advice
« on: May 09, 2012, 02:23:13 PM »
« on: December 28, 2011, 10:25:30 AM »
Hi everyone, hope u are all well and staying positive!
Well my story goes like this, a year and a half ago i seperated from my husband, he asked for it and later filed for divorce. for a very long time i fought his decision, i cried, i pleaded and did everything i could to make him change his mind! well he didnt and in fact it got worse between us. Until lately when my family wanted to appoint solicitors to fight my case and get as much out of him as possible. Knowing he is struggling financially i stood by him, i agreed to do it amicably and decide between us what to do without going through the costly route of solicitors. Since then he has softened quiet a bit, he replies to my texts when before he didnt want to communicate.
I have lately been very unwell and he has been supporting me and encouraging me to try my best to get better. he hasnt mentioned the divorce yet because maybe he fears it affects my health and he wants me to get better first. he is still holding back from me, he is not in a rush to finalise the divorce like he was before but at the same time he hasnt said anything about us getting back together or even trying! i am now tempted to ask him but i read in many relationship books that i shouldnt and that will make me look desperate and unattractive! i dont know if i am asking for loa advice or simply a relationship advice. If anyone can read my story and use his belief in loa to guide me on what to do next i will highly appreciate it!
« on: December 17, 2011, 12:44:33 PM »
i remember reading this somewhere but dont remember! what is the significance of seeing 11 or 44! i am not sure i got it right. Today i asked for a sign from the universe and whilst i was thinking of my ex, of what happened between us i glanced at my phone and the time was 11:11
« on: November 22, 2011, 03:49:11 PM »
After not wanting to speak to me and getting very irritable every time i contacted him my husband seem to have softened quiet abit. Despite him saying he didnt love me anymore and wanted a divorce, i deep in my heart knew and believed that he does love me....no matter what he said or what people told me i just knew in my heart that he did, sometimes it felt that something was telling me so. well i found out that my mum is in communication with him regarding getting my stuff...etc ( u know how mums are, they cant help it!) so she mentioned to him that they are trying to arrange a marriage for me! and that I am leaning towards agreeing ( i have agreed to consider it) so she told him that. his response was why is she rushing? he said that he didnt think i am in the right frame of mind...he then texted me saying dont take hasty decisions u may regret! he trying talking me into taking some time out, to travel and then decide what i want to! i asked him why he is concerned and he said because he cares and doesnt want me to do something not right for me! he is more willing to take my calls now and respond to my texts. he hasnt spoken about us or said anything about reconciliation! he is basically behaving as a friend....if you know how bad he was a year ago, u would be surprised at the way he has become!
I am not trying to read too much into it but it is big progress if u knew how bad it was! he has even told my mum that he is not in a rush to finalise the divorce and wants me to find myself first!!!! whatever that means??? a few months ago there is nothing he wanted more than getting it over and done with....i guess maybe it is because i approached this whole matter from a place of love...
i have now decided to become a bit mysterious and get away for abit so he can evaluate how he truly feels about me.
any feedback will be so helpful
« on: November 21, 2011, 10:13:13 AM »
read Maripose post and it answered my question so i removed the post! feeling better
« on: November 15, 2011, 10:09:16 AM »
I have some updates! i am not sure you know my story but basically i am seperated from my husband who had an affair with another woman and left me. at first he made it so difficult for me, all what he wanted was a divorce, he was so mean to me and didnt even want to see or speak to me. fast forward one year and after 6 months of practicing loa we are supposed to discuss divorce settlment, he didnt want solicitors involved because it was going to cost alot of money. at first i resisted, tried to be difficult as a way of getting back at him but then i asked myself why am i doing something that is against my true wish! and decided to give in and let go of the solicitor! since then he has softened quiet abit he even mentioned to a friend that he is not in a rush to get the divorce finalised. i have been ill recently and was admitted to hospital, in the past he wouldnt have cared but this time he has been worried and asking around about me.
he is also trying to help me make a decision about my life when he initially tried hard to enforce his choices on me as in where i lived. now he is becoming more and more the friend i once knew. i for a long time stopped telling him i loved him for the fear that will push him away but when i told him of my decision to not involve solicitors i said i am doing this because i still love you and i dont care what anyone would think about that. i told him that by denying how i felt i was hurting myself and he was free to react the way he wanted...he kept quiet when i said that. he hasnt said anything about getting back together but if it was his old self he would have cut communication with me all together after i told him i still love him. last nite i spoke to him and for a moment it felt like old times.
i dont want to be reading too much into this but maybe i am looking for some positive signs to keep me going on this journey
thank you beautiful people
« on: November 02, 2011, 10:53:16 AM »
I am in need for some advice and possibly a push in the right direction. So my husband had an affair a year an a half ago, he asked me to leave, told me he didnt love me anymore and was so mean to me...all throughout i held on because i love him! i cried, pleaded, begged, made a fool of myself for months and it only got worse...he filed for divorce which is still not finalised yet!
then i came across loa and started applying it! affirmation, staying positive, believing that we are meant to be together...etc, in addition i also focused on creating positive experiences with my him...we are seperated but every time i speak to him on the phone even if it is discussing the divorce i sound very positive, happy and accomodative! at first i was getting defensive, talking about my rights, blaming him but then realised that was just driving me closer to what i really didnt want and instead i gave in, i decided to become true to who i am not for him but for myself and that is an understanding, loving and giving person and started exhibiting that to him...he has become more friendly with me, responds to my texts and calls and we speak for near an hour every time, discussing other things like our jobs, we laugh, share jokes....etc
i know the other woman has stopped being in his life! everything sounds good so far but the problem is that recently the legal side of things has become abit more complicated, solicitors are trying to make it tough on him, which will likely end up in him paying more than he can afford. he is a generous man but since we split he hasnt been with me and he is materialistic, in the sense money matters to him...and since things got more complicated on that front he seems to have softened quite abit with me...he talks and shows me he cares! the other day i mentioned to him that a friend of mine is doing an counseling and it is working and i was saying it in a joking way that maybe we should try it but then he said send me the link, i would be interested...well this came as a shock, this man had no ears if i may put it that way, one year ago i begged him to go for couseling and he gave me an outright NO! now he is willing to have a look at it!!! well he hasnt said he still loves me or asked me to get back together but he is softening and the marriage counseling thing came as a big surprise for me!
I spoke to friends and family and they are all discouraging me saying u need to realise sometimes that a relationship is not meant to be and just let it go! they are all being negative and raising doubts in me! what i am struggling with is whether this is geniuine from his part or is it because of money issues! could it be my practicing of loa manifesting? i would appreciate any opinions because i am in risk of falling back with this
« on: October 16, 2011, 04:21:31 PM »
I am new here and happy to have found this amazing place filled with positivetly. I would do with some advice on how to progress from where i am. my husband who i have been with for 8 years left me a year and a half ago for his colleague. he had an affair with her and told me he didnt love me anymore. shortly after she divorced her husband too and i guess they were a couple. Meanwhile, i begged, pleaded with my husband to take me back and every time he resented me even more, until i learnt about loa and decided to use that instead.
my husband was so much in love with me until she came into the picture and a part of me always knew that she was the main reason he refused to give our marriage a second chance so i kind of knew he wont come back to me as long as she is still there and along with doing my affirmations and gratitude lists to get him back, i also asked for the universe to remove her from the picture and guess what! a couple of days ago she posted on her facebook complaining about him refusing to stay friends with her because she doesnt want to sleep with him anymore! seems like she doesnt want to be romantically involved with him but only wants him as a friend and he is finding that hard to accept, she also mentioned that he told her that is the end and he doesnt want to see her anymore.
i have gotten to the point of letting go as far as he is concerned and although i know i want him back and i know the universe is paving the way for him to come back but i am starting to get anxious about my reaction when he does! am i going to be able to be happy with him again knowing what he has done, i know this will highly depend on how he comes back, on whether he will show remorse or just come back because she damped him! i am confused and dont know what i am thinking or saying and need some direction.
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