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Topics - lovebird
« on: May 20, 2013, 04:15:06 AM »
Like so many other here on this board, I have love on my mind
My story started two years ago, and although we were never together as a couple , -I was in love like never before. I have since attracted a lot of attention from him, but actually he made me feel pretty bad about myself in more ways than one... As I never got the desired attention from him I cut off all contact with him in september last year. The problem is that he is still on my mind, every day, and it is so hard to let go of the wishing and wanting etc. It feels like a bad habit, and also a serious blockage to finding new love in my life. My heart feels like it belongs to him and it's so hard to release the thoughts and feelings for him.
I do love myself, and I work on that consciously every day. I have a job, study, meditate, work out three times a week, I have friends and we have fun together. I have a dog that I adore, and I have grown children that I love. I also have a hobby and art that takes a lot of my time, and two internet stores. I am also go on dates with men, but it feels sad...
In other words: I really do have a life, and it's pretty good except for this one thing! I even use eft sometimes when things get rough. My problem is having faith in love. I haven't been in a relationship for over a decade and I guess I fear love, it hurts too much. I guess I see only the obstacles to having a relationship, to this man or someone else.
But today my heart and feelings got the better of me and I talked with a psychic. She was pretty accurate in many things, but she urged me to contact him and in that way get him out of my system. It made me freak out a little as I have swore to never ever ever contact him again. She said that I had to confront him, to tear him down from the pedestal, to get the air cleared, in order for me to start out fresh and find new love. She couldn't say anything about a future for us, but wanted me to take my strength and power back no matter what. She did say however, that I was on his mind often, but probably not in the same way I have him on my mind
But I really do feel him thinking of me sometimes, and that is probably one reason why I can't let go. I have experienced telepathy often so I believe in that.
Something interesting she asked me to do was to contact a shaman and get help to retrieve that piece of my soul/heart that I lost to him. She said I would feel a lot better and it would give me healing. Have anyone ever experienced this? We have shamans in the area where I live, native people, and I'm seriously considering this option. I really do feel that a piece of my heart is missing...It also got me thinking of this prayer by Marianne Williamson which I found a long time ago, and that I find to be quite similar to the shaman approach. Maybe it can be helpful for some of you:
I am bonded in my heart to someone who does not share this bond.
I feel so drawn to him, while he does not feel drawn to me.
Please, dear God, disconnect my heart from this longing within me which does not serve.
I release this person into your hands.
May the ropes that bind my heart be cut.
May they not bind me, may they not bind him.
I release him, that I might be released.
Retract the silent hooks I have in him.
Bring back to me my power and my love.
Cut the cord that chemically ties me to him.
Free me from him, and free him from me.
May we both find peace. Free us both.
~ Marianne Williamson
Actually, this is why I write this. Is it contrary to Loa? I feel Loa is all about having faith and living life peacefully and in harmony with self. For me soul retrieval and silent hooks seems a bit foreign, but maybe there is something to it? I'm sorry this was so long, but please share experiences and thoughts
I hope I made some sense...
« on: November 13, 2012, 11:39:44 AM »
I noticed yesterday that pinterest offers users to have 3 secret pinboards, where no one else can see the content. A lot of people have asked for them, and they're finally here! My kids often pin from my public boards, so that has kept me from pinning all the juicy stuff before, but no more!!
With the secret boards you also have the option to invite friends to each board.
I'm off to make me a love board, and maybe one for fitness and health, and possibly a board for all the quirky little wishes that pop into my head now and then.
Oh the possibilities! Just wanted to let you know in case you like pinterest too
I used to have a big board made of cardboard, but I burned it this spring. I was always afraid I would forget to put it away and have someone see it, -I would feel so busted. I would hate to try to explain it's existence and content to some neighbour, or relative....
« on: June 09, 2012, 02:43:26 AM »
For those of you that are my friends on facebook, -just want to tell you I have "detached myself" from facebook for a while. In case you wonder where I went...LOL I will try to stay away for a month from today, hoping it will bring me some peace of mind. The main reason is that I keep "stalking" this guy, and can't keep myself from it, and it hurts me. But there are more reasons, -I have been sick for a long time, and part of my sickness makes me rather passive and also restless and unfocused, and I try very hard to get out of that rut. I live in quite a remote area, far away from most people and facebook is the only social contact I have, sometimes for days. Sometimes a blessing, but often a distraction from other things I need to do, like packing! I'm moving, and really need to pack
I deactivated my account this morning and boy have I been productive today!
My thoughts have been detached from what used to bother me, and I'm grateful that I finally unplugged....although I WILL plug in later, in july. Hopefully I'm in a better and happier place then. And moved to a new apartment, closer to people. I will be around here from time to time, so please get in touch
« on: May 19, 2012, 03:19:34 PM »
I'm so confused...this guy I have been in love with for over a year just added me as a friend on facebook, AND he subscribed to my updates as well. Then he unsubscribed. The subscription-thing is something he has done twice since easter. I have that option so I guess I should just shut up
I sent him a message on may 17th just wishing him well, and said that I was sorry not hearing from him again. In easter he wrote to me that he was moving and breaking up with his gf, but on fb it says he's still in a relatonship with her. I don't know what to think.
I have been trying to just let go...never mind him, and carry on with my old life...but you know how it is, it's hard to completely let go of someone that fills your emotions and mind so much. Since last summer my life has totally turned upside down, if it's because of this, or if it is the universe saying to me it's time to change, to make plans, to move on in life in general...oh, there's a lot of resistance left in me and I suppose I'll just have to wait it out and see how things unfold.
When I met him I was struggling with old familiar feelings of unworthiness, -he's too young, too clever, too handsome, too EVERYTHING for me, I wanted him, and then I was afraid of what he might think of me. Story of my life. He was in a relationship then, but nonetheless he swept me off my feet so completely, and I ran so fast LOL. Then came back, then ran again. I have been working intensely with my selfworth issues since joining the forum, and I think I see some progress
My fears of rejections aren't so great anymore, and halleluja for that.
Still it kinda knocked me over seeing his friend request this morning, and I'm almost afraid to look inside his profile
Any advice for me?
« on: May 09, 2012, 12:26:53 AM »
There's is this thing that have had me frustrated for years. Because of this I have actively pursued to change my belief system, my thoughts and really take a hard look at what I'm attracting. Sometimes it just doesn't seem to help. So help me!!
Here I am, a single woman with a heart that is pining for someone seemingly unattainable, -at the moment, and meanwhile I get all these invitations, emails, texts, messages u name it, from men of all ages, social ranks, professions and not the least, -various relationship modes...only the last week I've had messages etc from 3 married men, 1 in an unstable relationship and 1 single guy that I've known for years but wouldn't even consider as more than someone I say Hi to at the store...
The married ones, we know what they want...a fling, get laid, forget the wife for a minute...and the other are probably lonely and trying to get into a relationship with me. I hope you're not thinking that I'm enjoying this, and have high thoughts about my attractiveness, most of this feels bad, and makes me want to crawl under a rug and hide. But a lot of women experience this all the time, and I'm one of them. I'm always friendly, say thanks to compliments and feel gratitude that men actually like me in a general sense, other than that I just want it to go away. And then I read this:
"People often wonder why, when they focus all of their intention and emotion on the feelings associated with the thought of being with the person they want most, someone completely "out of the blue" offers them an opportunity to build a relationship. This is the universal response to your law of attraction love command! The "feeling" request you sent was heard and the result was the universal response of the best person which could offer you the chance to receive the same positive feelings you sent! Do not be discouraged because this modern day miracle did not bring to you the person you "thought" could offer you the happiness you desired. Be grateful, rather, that you've been presented the chance to realize the happiness you deserve without the pain of mistake like so many others. For when your attention is on the feelings you desire, you can only manifest that which you want most, even if you aren't sure what it is!"
This is from: http://www.the-law-of-attraction-works.com/law-of-attraction-love.html,
and had me in an uplifted state of mind for a moment until I realized:
No no no, I never intended to manifest this kind of attention, why would I attract someone that gives me an urge to wander into the desert and live like a hermit the rest of my life instead of even touching him?? Is this low self-worth issues speaking? My subconsciousness at some level? And the universal response is sending a married man who just wants to get laid? This is NOT what I feel, or think, my conscious wishes are quite different, I know. The man of my dreams is more like Mr. Darcy, for sure, and nothing like this
Any thoughts on this topic?
« on: May 07, 2012, 08:13:54 PM »
Sometimes I wonder if we do ourselves a disservice in using LOA to attract our exes. Also using RS to attract them. And all the pain and confusion about detachment, thinking happy thoughts and so on. It occurs to me we are making our exes, love interests, and our old relationships into such WORK! Sometimes it seems to me the best thing is to cry, feel the pain, allow the misery to bloom for awhile, and then withdraw and LET GO. Lot God. If it is meant to be it will happen.
Go ahead and disagree with me, I know you will
Just sometimes I`m so fed up with it all, tired of waiting for signs, for an email, for a hint that I even cross his mind (which I`m pretty certain that I do, but still...)...
Speaking of signs.....I have been looking for a new place to live for awhile and have to move in a month or so. Today I got a message that there was one small apartment available next door to where he used to live while he worked here. Next door, same building, wall to wall. No he doesn`t live there anymore, but I felt a strange sensation there for a minute....why?? Yes I have been doing RS and all sorts of LOA thinking and feeling, but never imagined I would end up with something like this. I don`t want to live there, far from it. Being reminded of him every single time I walk past his door? Many times every day? Ouch! I`ll just keep on looking....there must be another place available.
Any thoughts, please please
« on: July 15, 2011, 02:08:05 AM »
Im a longtime lurker in this forum, and I really enjoy logging in here to read your stories, and appreciate the way you help each other. I'm not new to LOA, but I feel I can't contribute much myself.
I see that most of you are discussing ways to attract back an ex, but this is not why I'm here. I wish my ex's may live happily forever without me:) But I do have a love problem that I hope you can shed some light on.
First a little background info on myself. I'm female, 49 yo, sweet(they say) attractive, healthy and happy. The last 10-12 years I have been living alone, without a man, without romance and with no sex. It is my own choice. Before that I came out of some devastating relationships that nearly ruined my life, I was heartbroken and my self-esteem was below zero and I hated myself. I decided to stay alone for as long as it took to heal myself, build myself up from emotional dysfunction and restart my life. I have grown up children, friends and family, I have a dog and two cats, a garden, I have hobbies that I love, work, and I'm never bored. So the years have passed, and I can only say I've been happier than ever. There was not often a feeling that I missed out on anything, although both friends and my children keeps urging me to Go Out And Meet A MAN, For Christ Sake!! I don't hate men, I love to work with them, I have male friends and family and I like to go out and have fun with them. And I have admirers that try to get my attention once in a while, but no love and romance, oh, the dread. I think the pain and the sorrow from way back then got stuck to my bones, and I fear getting too involved and intimate. I'm hiding my heart away and try not to open up too much, I know it's not good…..
So to my little miserable love story.
Spring came, -and with it, -a man. I swear I fell so hard I think they might have heard it in the next town. He came only to stay for around 6 months on an assignment, and once in a while I have to have contact with him, either in person or over the phone. He is tall, highly educated, kind, nice, gorgeous and very sexy! But sure enough, -turns out he's around 10 years younger than me. That backed me off a little, but he smiled at me a lot and looked as if he was pleased with what he saw, so I thought what the heck! Talk about falling head over heels, - I felt sparkly, shiny and bubbly like a 16 yo, happy, pretty and bouncy (and horny!), -what a crazy summer it has been, I never felt so good! So much for my pledge to celibacy, I would have thrown it out the window without batting an eyelash had he given me the chance! Slowly I tried to connect, very carefully, and very much aware that I was a newbie at this flirting-thing, and I tried to work up the courage to ask him out for coffee, -as soon as I managed to stop trembling around him LOL We never really got to chat much, other than business, when he suddenly changed his attitude towards me.
He became distant, he avoided me like I was contagious it seemed, made little eye-contact and he stopped smiling. I promise I did everything to not make him uncomfortable, I never stalked him, said anything mean, or stared….but I grew unhappy and withdrew as I felt he suddenly couldn't stand me. He became totally unavailable! I believe that up until then there was a pretty strong connection, something going on between us, but I think he sniffed me out, became aware that I had these feelings for him, and that can be repelling, I've heard, even if I tried to disguise how I felt. Then I learned that he had a girlfriend in his hometown, and what a girlfriend! I saw photos of her, 30 yo, looks like a model (cindy crawford comes to mind, minus the mole on her cheek) She looks as if she could be the next miss universe, and I'm only the local, and aging, miss congeniality… She's 20 years younger than me, and I'm not kidding myself into believing, or even hoping, that he would prefer me.
So the downslide began, and I've been working on myself to avoid thinking of him, even meeting him, I want him out of my head and heart and my life as soon as possible. He's leaving in august, and I hope to never see him again. I feel hurt and rejected by his attitude, but also relieved, -the madness is hopefully over. He has never said a mean word to me, so it would only be unfair to blame him for anything. It's all in my own head, - maybe there was never a sliver of interest from his side. It's confusing, but I still daydream, it's like some nasty resistant virus is occupying my brain and refuses to let go. And letting go is what I want! I'm not here to try and attract him, or raise my hope to meet him again, I just want this longing, and hurt and feverish feeling to go away! I want my life back! The euphoria and wildness I felt in spring and early summer has turned inside-out….
I have read a lot of LOA, I've seen the secret several times, I listen to audio-books almost every day (Mike Dooley, he makes me laugh), I apply for new jobs, I try to make jewelry again, I connect with friends and family. I am loved and appreciated from all around me, and I feel very grateful for it.
But why do I get such an emotional roller-coaster thrown into my lap for the first time in over 12 years, is it the universe waking me up from my comfortable slumber and telling me it's time…for something?? Right now it feels like the universe is having a laugh at my expense….
I'm so sorry this became such a long story, it's just glued to my brain and I needed to get it out! I hope at least a few of you have read it through and can share some thoughts with me. I need some input on what was going on, and how do I turn this into a positive thing for myself without falling into resentment, loneliness and feelings of rejection? I want to love someone again, but not a man that makes me feel so old and over the hill (which I am not!:)
Blessings, and lots of luck in love and life from me:)
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