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Messages - LuluLove
« on: March 06, 2012, 10:55:58 PM »
Thank you all for your great advice and positive words!
Animor - He didn't seem like the guy who would just disappear, but I honestly can't say for sure because I have not known him for very long.
Crazysoul - Thanks for the warm welcome back.
I was swamped with work and didn't have much of a chance to get back on the forum. It feels great to be reading everyone's messages again and focusing on what I want in life, meditating, etc. Thanks for being here to offer me great advice again!
Schenderson22 - You are correct. I definitely think I was scared to get hurt or put myself out there. I do believe this situation has highlighted the areas I still need to work on within myself.
Jtut21 - Thank you for the interesting article. I guess my lack of faith in this situation comes from the fact that we didn't know each other very long and weren't that serious yet.
I agree with you all and think I am going to go the no-contact route. I do believe I need to work on the vibrations I am sending out in the world before jumping into any action.
Everytime he and I would text, I felt as though I was playing a game (don't respond back too soon, wait for him to contact me, etc) rather than fully being myself. I actually was telling people "I'm playing the game", and was left feeling like this is what I need to do at the beginning stages of dating. Now I see how I caused more game play in my life.
I am having a hard time believing I will hear from him again, but that is all part of the work, right?
« on: March 06, 2012, 02:24:51 AM »
So, after months of using LOA to attract a loving relationship with my ex (or someone better), I finally "let go" and almost immediately attracted someone new into my life. We went on a few dates and really seemed to hit things off, and I was happier than I had been in years. In fact, he seemed far more into me than I was into him (partly because I was still cautious and guarded after my recent breakup with the ex). However, I have now received no response from him to my last few texts and he has not tried to contact me in two weeks. I have purposefully not written him again because I don't want to chase, but I really do like him and would love to get to know him better if given the chance. I'm confused about what step to take next.
Nothing overtly happened that I can see that caused the change in our communication. We both seemed very into each other as of our last conversation. I do know that after the last time we hung out, I became more attached to him (on a vibrational level)... However, I think a part of it was just being so happy and loving the new feelings that were forming. My friends suggest I try contacting him again, but I have instead been trying to meditate and focus on myself and wait for him to contact me. Do I just chalk this up to a lesson learned about keeping the focus on me and let it go? I do find it hard to be positive about ever hearing from him again after this silence.
« on: February 01, 2012, 10:51:07 PM »
Thank you all for your continued support. I am trying to focus on sending him love and feeling love all around me. It is definitely helping.
As for losing weight, I have been doing the tried-and-true working out and eating healthy. However, the biggest factor has been adding in appreciation and gratitude for my body. As someone recently suggested in a post, I now talk to my body... I thank my body for having the motivation and energy to workout, for the strength to keep pushing myself during workouts, for my body becoming slimmer every day, etc. If I feel any soreness or pain, I repeatedly say thank you for my healing and then try to focus on something else. I chose this body and I really work to appreciate how lucky I am to be in this body.
« on: February 01, 2012, 02:15:00 AM »
Crazysoul - Thanks for the link and advice! I have tried PSTEC for the last 3 days and I have found it to be quite helpful.
I feel like my feelings have wavered up and down. I committed to writing down what I'm grateful for twice a day, and noticed immediately that that has made a huge impact on my level of happiness. I also have used PSTEC, EFT and meditation to help me move past my resistance. I do feel like I am detaching from the outcome of what may become with Steve (my ex), and I even attracted a new guy who last night asked me out on a date. I have also practiced appreciation for my body and have lost over 15 lbs. I still think about Steve, but not as frequently and overall each day has become better and better.
However, I must admit that after a week of not speaking with Steve, I became a little impatient and called him this past weekend. He didn't answer, so I left a cheerful message saying I hope he is well and that I was calling about our storage space (we have a storage space together that we still need to empty out). I did not hear back until today via text. He was cold and mean, telling me that I can just move everything myself, that he's done, and that he was so unhappy when "he allowed me to affect him" but now he is "happy and himself again" and "doesn't have to be afraid anymore." When I discussed how the storage unit contained both of our stuff and how it is the responsibility of both of us to empty it and not fair to leave me doing it all, he said that "everything has to be a struggle with you" and got angry with me.
I have believed for a few years that Steve has borderline personality disorder, but I am trying to see him as happy and healthy and not let my knowledge of the disorder affect how I view his responses. Each time he told me how happy he is now, I told him I was happy for him and glad to hear it. I also told him I accepted his choice to move on and do as he pleased, since he asked me the last time we chatted to "let him be."
I left the conversation in tears. I know he is still seeing the girl he met a few weeks ago, although I didn't ask their relationship status or anything else about them. I have worked to focus on me and us together rather than her or them together so that I was not giving them my energy. I do believe I have come to a better degree of acceptance for his dating her, although it hurts a lot when he tells me how happy he is now and keeps acting like I was so horrible. During my relationship with him, I did my fair share of things wrong, but he also treated me poorly. I have forgiven him for his prior actions and have forgiven myself, but it is hard to not get defensive when he acts like I was absolutely the worst.
It is hard to hear all these comments from him and still keep the belief that I am now in a happy, loving and committed relationship with him. Any advice on where to go from here? I could try again with the NC, but then I worry that it makes it worse for someone who is Borderline.
« on: January 27, 2012, 12:26:17 AM »
MeowMix - Thank you so much for your reply. I was absolutely using the LOA to mask my feelings and last week I finally allowed myself to cry a few times and experience the sadness I was feeling. I think I was scared to allow myself to experience those sad feelings because I didn't want to bring more sadness into my life.
I think I am still too attached to the situation and the outcome. I am trying to focus on myself as much as I can, but I still think about him every day. I told him via text last Saturday that I was hurting and that I loved him, but that I was letting go and giving him space. He responded "baby, i'm sorry you're hurting," which was the first time he had called me baby in months, and he called me later in the day, but I missed his call and chose not to call back. We haven't called or texted each other since.
I am worried I'm losing my belief that we'll get back together and that he will call me soon. This is the first time we've taken space like this (and we were together for 4 years). I want to believe, but my faith seems to waver more than it did when I was calling him on a regular basis.
« on: January 15, 2012, 03:43:19 AM »
I could really use advice on how to keep myself positive while knowing my ex-boyfriend has started to date other women. He and I were together for 4 years and broke up 2 1/2 months ago after a long period of fighting and us both expecting the other to make us happy. We have not seen each other in a month, but we do talk a few times a week. We still tell each other "I love you" after every conversation, but he continues to say he "can't" get back together with me because of the pain he feels.
I have spent the last two months trying to keep my energy up through affirmations, tapping, listening to the Power & Secret, and following the teachings of Abraham Hicks. I have tried to put myself on a pedestal and work on myself. All of these actions have worked quickly to attract him to communicate with me, but whenever he did, I would tend to feel uncomfortable about what he had possibly been doing with other women and would push him away. I have done this push-pull multiple times now, despite my efforts to not let his actions affect me.
I am pretty sure he has been fooling around with this girl the past few days. It has caused me to be upset and cry, and to focus on him and what I think he's doing rather than focus on myself. I know I need to let go, but I don't know how. How can I ignore this pain? I want to stay positive and continue vibrationally attracting him to me, but I keep picturing them together and it brings me down.
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