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I think some of the most important things I am looking for in a partner and relationship is:

- having many extremely different ideas and mentality from each other, but developing a strong understanding for each other.

- the sense of building something together

- and in general, being together a lot.

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Thank you lashark.

To be honest, it came a bit as a surprise, while I was starting to give up hope.

I was also trying to do my job as properly as possible and be friendly towards the other people in the office, as a sort of distraction.

But I did show her that I was in pain in a way.
When she looked at me, I looked down with an expression of respect and feeling guilt.

Before that, I always tried to look good and come across to her as happy and super-positive.

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My dear forum friends and readers,

I want to write to you about something different from the usual,
and I write to you with from a very relaxed state of mind.
Out of pure serenity, and without thoughts about anything.

A few days ago, one of you wrote me a very kind PM with some advice.
One little phrase caught my attention.

It was a remark about something I had done; and I perfectly "found myself again" in that description.

It reminded me of what I consider to be a trait of my personality and something that, over time,
has developed to become an important "objective" or "mission" in my life, daily and long term.

I want to write about it not because I know you enjoy reading my long posts 
but because I think it gives an important characterization of my life goals, of what I want in this life.

Why I tell you about it?
Not because I want to show I am right or better.
Not because I want to criticize anyone, or cause even more controversy.
But simply to explain my desires, so that you might also understand more clearly
why I react in certain ways sometimes on this forum; and so that you might understand better
what I want and, perhaps (if this is not too demanding!) bear this in mind when advising me about relationships, especially in my current situation.

Using everyday words, I simply want communicate "what makes me happy"

The remark was that I actively look to solving controversy and conflicts.

This is because I really fought (verbally) with a guy in a moment of impatience,
and attacked him with quite harsh words for that situation,
yet I soon managed to turn the situation around because I had that great sense of urgency
to make things better again, to solve what I had done, to bridge the gap I had created.
Not only did I manage to reconcile with him, but we also became friends;
indeed, we kept inviting each other quite often after that.

But it was truly not easy to do so, and many of my own friends wouldn't have felt the need to reconcile.

This is one of the things that I mean by being religious and value-oriented.
By religious I don't mean [only] having faith that something will happen,
but it's about behaving in a way that will lead to the world I dream of,
a world of peace and serenity between people with differences.

I think the effort and energy (I could have minded my own business rather than go out partying with him)
I invested into resolving the situation with that guy alone gave me deep happiness.

But the story goes back to many years.
To sum up, I grew up in a country different from my parents' and as a child I faced a huge amount of
prejudice-driven discrimination. I lived racism from my school-mates, and I suffered a lot for it.
But unlike many others (not most, but many), throughout the years I understood the differences,
and some of the guys who used to beat me up started becoming friendly.

I think those were just the first steps that helped me become able to create friendship with people who can be totally different from me.

Currently, my best male friend since over 10 years is actually a firm racist.
He is against people of my ethnic background living in his country,
but still he considers me (as an individual, Chris) as his best friend,
we have helped each other and still we do.
I rarely notice this thing as we interact so frequently, but yes,
there are really some extreme differences in value and lifestyle between me and my best friends.

In a similar way, I have felt that if it is possible to build such great bonds across different cultures,
it shouldn't be impossible, with some effort, to create the greatest of all unions across the largest of all differences.

I am speaking of love, as in a relationship between man and woman.
There are many inter-cultural and inter-national as well as inter-faith couples,
but somehow I feel these are few cases in which there was first difference (as in conflict!) and then love.

This is a little anecdote, a window to why I do not stop in front of conflict, in front of differences.

I have yet to see whether this dream will come true (maybe for some it has), but for the sake of
my life history I do not see a reason why give up / move on / change person / etc. just because
we might be "incompatible" at the beginning.

I try to bridge where there are difference, understand where there is misunderstanding, and compromise in serenity.

I feel no greater happiness than when giving part of me to someone else for the sake of friendship/love.

I hope at least some of you understand.

I say all this with serenity and peace of mind 

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Ha... you know how often I said and felt that way?!
 
But LOA gave me a lesson that even that is just a negative vibration (and will most likely produce what you are vibrating).
 
I will paraphrase something that someone told me in one of my threads:
Don't be lazy in your responsibility for your own emotions and feelings.
 
Having said that, changing a photo on FB means absolutely nothing. I don't even think it qualifies as a sign.
It's just some element in his life.
 
And who knows, it may be even something positively related??
 
Can you imagine that for all the time I pursued Natasha, even if I affirmed and visualized positive things about her, I had a tiny little doubt that she might be mocking me somewhere, e.g. by telling embarrassing things about me to her friends.
But yesterday I had a very nice chat with her friend, and they didn't even know about that embarrassing thing I had done!
 
I told it myself - thus attracting what I was expecting.
 
lashark, you're certainly more patient than me, and I think you have started achieving many things.
Think carefully before you make any drastic decisions out of emotional panic. Think of what happens to that stupid UpLOAding when he is in emotional.
 
Do you want to be like him? No?
Then stick to your guns and keep visualizing!
 
Your guy will return

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I am praying for you, too.

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I noticed in the past days that my state of mind and whatever is in my head tends to manifest quite instantly.

What I noticed most importantly - again - is that it does take effort; not to let go - but the whole part before letting go.

Sometimes the state of the body is also quite harsh.
Say I am very tired and can't bother about thinking positively. Then I automatically start thinking negatively and it just gets worse. It's damn true!

The converse is true about positive things.

But it takes lots of effort.

As far as I am concerned, I think that even when I affirm positively and use LOA properly, there are moments in which my mind wants to resist the positiveness.
It's because my mind is full of negative information through past experiences and advice from cynic people.

But sometimes, when I REALLY REALLY WANT TO and I tell myself NOW IS NO TIME TO WASTE ON NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, I TRULY WANT AND CARE ABOUT HAVING THAT - in such cases, I get the energy to think positively and fully calm down.
What happened at the beginning of what I wrote in "LOA saved me instantly" was exactly that.

I rejected any negative thoughts that came.
I rejected any thoughts about "this negative scenario might be possible"
I rejected every thought about my past in which negative scenarios happened.
(it takes lots of effort to do this, because the mind is fast)

...and LOA was really instant; the entire rest of the day Terra wanted to stay alone with me.

It was incredible. But it was brief, because I think the energy lasted only that day.

I wonder whether if I find that energy and power again, I can yield higher results more consistently.

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If you were more positive and understood the full potential of LOA (and not just half of it), you would have to learn to forgive him, trust him again and trust that he will behave properly again in a relationship with you.
 
Mistrust will attract that again and again. It will make no difference with whom, so you might as well start with the person of love.

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I would also like to hear what other LOA experts would suggest to the question:
Does the current situation mean that Mr positive has to get a car and a home in order to attract her back, or will he be able attract her back without a car and a home?

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I second every advice given, but have a question as well:
Have the women here done anything similar to the girl of Mr positive?
 
I always hear these stories about women changing from one day to another. Even good ones, the best of them. Women are fickle.
 
Can the women please answer: WHY?

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First of all, changing to a different person would make LOA - the way I have understood its potential - pointless.
 
Of course, LOA is most important for self-growth, but what makes it stand out and distinguish itself from any other thought system or philosophy is that it allows us to strive in happiness and confidence towards a person that we would otherwise consider out of our reach.
I think there's nothing else more important than that feature.
 
Yet, nevertheless, I would like to add some advice, based on my understanding of LOA, and based on certain details that other forum members have often detracted (especially Sweet Spirit when I spoke to her in December 2010) but make perfect sense to me:
 
1. Assumption:
Whatever is in your mind will be manifested in reality in some way.
 
2. Information A:
In your mind are rubbish beliefs (by rubbish I mean things that you do not want), such as:
- he may not want you
- someone else may want you
- you and him may not be good together
- ...or not good together yet
- or someone else might be better
 
1 + 2 = 3
that is... if all that's what's in your mind, that's exactly what you will attract! At the moment, it seems that everything you are attracting is in that direction! It's that rubbish!
 
My former approach and understanding of LOA, which may seem radical to most people on this forum, but in December seemingly helped me is to simply and sweetly throw away all the rubbish.
 
Reject, eliminate from your mind and consciousness whatever you consider not coherent with your desires.
Not just the information about the outcome, but even your beliefs of how and what might be happening right now. Label all that as rubbish and throw away.
 
I haven't tried it for a long time, but now that I read that even the veterans on this forum are getting less and less results, I am led to reconsider my old "radical" conclusions again...
 
I am not advising them to you, but just writing them again for you to consider as an alternative against what you might have been doing all this time.
 
You may try and see whether it leads to better results than what you're doing right now...
 
Think different, as a famous slogan says.

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I agree in full with the last post peter 93, and that is what I have learned as well in the past two years.
 
The only thing I am trying to point out is that you cannot mix the results of changing your perception with "basic psychology".
I'm not sure whether you understand me:
If you are truly able to change perception, then there won't ever be women who want to cheat on you, find that you're not their "type" and such things...
What I'm trying to say is that ALSO THOSE EVENTS come into existence only because you believe in them.
 
I hope you understood my point.

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Good luck with you job - start with great spirit and of course use LOA to make each and every day at work a better one!
 
Good luck to your friend (by the post I didn't understand whether they will join this forum...?)

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What would you like to have accomplished during your lifetime should you know that tomorrow is your last day alive?
 
This is a question that has motivated me a lot in understanding my life objectives, priorities and "missions", so to say. What matters to me most.
I have realized long ago that having a generic intimate partner is not something I wish. Rather I know that I wish to act as an inspiration and example for ideas/ideals that are considered "impossible" or obsolete - see my older posts about marriage and monogamy. Yes, I consider it a life purpose, not just something for my personal comfort and happiness.
 
I come from a city that values the exterior very much (hot-ness, attractiveness, clothes, fashion, etc.) and some of those ideas have been ingrained in me. Throughout my life I have learned that they do not give much except for brief hedonic pleasure.
I have realized that pleasure and love are two different, not necessarily combined, entities. You also speak about ego. It can easily distort your perception of things.
 
The girl I have loved for the past 2 years (these days would be our "anniversary"), Natasha, is a quite average girl, not so attractive, not whom you would call "hot". Yet she has been the source of inspiration for personal growth, for learning about LOA and so much more. I dearily wish I were in a relationship with her and didn't have to think or decide between two different women now.
Thinking about Natasha was (and still is) pure peace and calm, with the sole exception of my occasional anxiety attacks.
 
I think the following:
our lives are very short, we are [relatively] quite young and we have very little experience to state with certainty that someone will never love us or never reciprocate.
Especially in todays' world where such things are almost discouraged with cynicism, I believe it is important to stand like a pillar of faith against the storm of skepticism.
 
I have currently started doing something I would have never even thought of 1 month ago: seeing and wishing to build an intimate relationship with a woman who is not Natasha.
LOA-wise, how does such change in attitude affect the universe's understanding of us? The vibrations and all that stuff?
I feel partly happy with the attention and flirting with this new woman. She's also hot, and intelligent.
But if I really proceed with her, I would almost throw into the trash everything I started with Natasha. Almost start anew.
 
It would be work abandoned while still in progress.
 
My gut feeling and my current compass points towards Terra, but there's an idea I have often written elsewhere that many ignored:
how can we expect to achieve a result that seems hard to reach if we don't fight until the end?
 
This is just my personal advice/reply, not necessarily related to the majority interpretation of LOA, but also related to how I have interpreted LOA in my life.

P.S.: 16 months is nothing compared to a lifetime, compared to how much you are ready to wait for the person of your life, the most important during your lifetime.
BTW I've heard of several rare cases in which people waited for years, sometimes decades, waiting for the return of their love, and only the did they achieve.
But there was no general rule about what they did while waiting.
Some had other relationships but never loved as much. Others waited without any sort of relationship.

It's weird to wait many years, but people have done it, and as long as you believe in it, you should not have any problem with it.

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JMarie, I have understood LOA as an attitude and prayer that helps us find the path towards "mutual consent" between you and the person you love.

I think that as long as there are different cultures and individualities, there will always be some lack of appreciation towards what seems unacceptable, there will always be some disagreement - but that does not mean that two people who are different cannot love each other.

The closest example in reality I can explain this process with is what brings two people who hated each other to realize that they actually have every opportunity to live peacefully, and even with additional benefits. I do not see this as manipulating or overpowering, but helping someone realize and appreciate the love - but, before anything, you must start appreciating too.

Furthermore, I do not believe in a "right" person. If you truly believe in free will, anyone can be the "right" one, or the one you want to love and be in a relationship with - and it is your choice who!

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I have some academic knowledge about dreams but it's too boring here.
 
In addition to being a reflection of what we aren't aware of, it is also, I would say, some sort of a creativity engine:
ideas to write something about, good or bad, ideas to do something, etc.
 
For some time, I interpreted unconscious dreams as LOA-related signs or boosters, but I think they are only such if you let them be.
 
Something that happened to me very often in the past is that when I am in true pain, dreams actually help me be distracted from reality, like watching a film and so on.
 

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