Dear friends,
since the question keeps coming up, I summarize my idea and would appreciate your views.
Firstly, I would say that...
- the original authors of LOA never said it is impossible.
-
the idea of LOA is perfectly compatible with specific wishes.- only
some independent
promoters of LOA advise against it.
So why do some advise against attracting specific persons?
1. it may not manifest as quickly as you would expect.2. it is not an easy task to wait for one person when there are plenty of potential partners out there.
3. sometimes our willpower is not strong enough to ignore the sexual drive, which requires any available relationship as soon as possible.
4. sometimes our willpower is not strong enough to ignore the emotional pain caused by bad memories, that also create desperation and confusion.
5. there is a
huge social stigma against loving someone who doesn't love you, being single for too long, or more in general, being "weird".
In many of these cases, especially when there are more convenient and more easily available options (there always are, as a matter of fact!), it can be easy to think that "someone else out there" might be better than the specific person we currently love.
If you think that way,
that is exactly what you will attract!It's not extremely wrong to think that way, but it is important to notice that all
these impressions and insticts are a
result of impatience, and sometimes also of pride.
And what is one of LOA's basic lessons?Be patient. Many forget patience, always. If you want to attract something very specific (e.g. "I wish to be married with XYZ"), it will very likely happen in steps, and maybe not the minute after you broke up or were rejected. You will start seeing positive signals, get negative ones whenever you feel discouraged, and then keep getting positive ones again, gradually leading to the state you visualize, manifesting over time. Well, if she/he proposes to you the next day, fine
let us know. It's very possible.
But the truth is that many of us who need advice still have some grudge in their heart, towards the specific person they love: bad memories, feelings of rejection, jealousy, pride. Yes, pride is what makes us think:"Ha, if you don't love me, I can have 1000 admirers anyway!" - That is not love, with or without LOA!
Be patient.
Timing is up to the Universe, and you must keep hoping, staying positive and focused. Some advise that time heals. Indeed, thinking about other things for a while can speed up erasing the bad memories, and focus on positive aspects. But if you're good, you may also skip the interval and start remembering the good memories right away.
Be grateful... and stay grateful. Many start thinking "Oh, my partner was so good to me,
but...", "Such an angel,
but...", "We loved each other so much and she really showed me how much she cared,
but..."
No more buts! The "but" most probably manifested because of something negative you have been attracting for a long time.
Patience is the first part of the story. The second is empathy and emotional intimacy/"connectedness".
In my personal experience, if you're patient and grateful enough, empathy follows naturally. Why?
- you are more open to understand what makes the other person tick.
- as a consequence (while interacting) they also understand you better!
-
you don't depend on their mood changes. This point is
very important as it helps in daily relationship life: Imagine yourself married with her/him. What if she is impatient and starts screaming around, insulting you, after a stressful day, and then asks you to do all the chores and so on? You get annoyed? That's human, but bad, very bad!
This is all related to
two more important LOA lessons:
I. Be "detached from the outcome".
II. Don't let your happiness and love depend on the other person's little mistakes. You are responsible for your own happiness!Why is this so important? Because in (or before) any relationship, there must always be a strong foundation, and if you're part of the couple, you should be ready to uphold it even if the other person changes their mood/priorities/tastes/appearance/etc.
"It takes to two tango", as many say, but remember,
"in partner dancing, the two dance partners are never equal. One must be the Lead and the other will be the Follow." (from encyclopedia)
This doesn't mean that one is superior, but simply that you take responsibility over your relationship: if she's sad, cheer her up. If she's jealous, show her she doesn't need to be. If she's ignoring you, show that you're still kind and look for reconciliation.
Like attracts like, but this metaphor doesn't mean it's the end of the world if people do small mistakes or if the other person does not fit
all your expectations. Start by fitting your own (this is my personal comment, not LOA)!
This leads to another reason which I think creates difficulties in attracting a specific person:
Ego.The more we focus on our immediate impulsive needs, the more distance we create between ourselves and the specific person we love. We start neglecting the other person, misunderstanding them, and feeling hurt for things that may have
never happened.
Example from my own life:
After my girl went abroad, during the first days we chatted online a lot. But after a few weeks she started answering only every 5 minutes, sometimes every 30 minutes, and I was heartbroken, imagining the worst things, thinking bad about her, wondering what I did wrong, closing myself up, having lots of doubts, not loving spontaneously as before, etc.
And when I went to her place, guess what I saw? She leaves her chat switched on even while cooking, studying and doing other things. Personally, I would have never understood that because I always log on the chat only when I want to speak and then switch it off...
Such small misunderstandings can threaten relationships.
I think that the moment we start searching for "any" partner and imagine their general traits instead visualizing someone specific we know and love, we are actually looking for something to complete our happiness, to gratify our needs. Once this something changes or doesn't make us happy anymore, we can easily switch to another partner who satisfies us for a period, and then to another, and another, and another... that's not love. And that's not LOA, which gives us the possibility to be happy in advance!
This is why - in my very very personal opinion and also in my experience of using LOA since almost 1 year - a "general partner search" could even
harm the process of attracting someone specific. I think they are two entirely different processes; following one causes to neglect the other.
How can you understand and create empathy with an specific person when your mind is distracted by images about the "general"? As I wrote elsewhere, if we freely love "everyone and everything" we risk neglecting the specific needs, desires and the specific circumstances of an individual relationship.
This is just some food for thought.
Each person is an individual and to attract a relationship with a specific person, as some LOA writers put it, your vibrations with that specific person have to synchronize: put all your faith and efforts into this, and don't vibrate the slightest doubt.
Doubts and thinking about other people (or desiring a "general" relationship) can create "interferences" in the vibration. For example: Imagine your partner is away for a few years and you start attracting in general. Several very hot guys/girls flirt with you, pay you all sorts of compliments, make you feel very sexy and important,
right here and right now. Honestly, would you resist, if all you need is a
any person?
This is why I think that it is very important, when using LOA, to distinguish between "anyone" and "Specific Person".
Whatever you is in your mind is what you attract.I hope I have outlined my ideas clearly enough and would appreciate your feedback, as using OA in the most successful way is in the interest of everyone here I think
Messages - Lovelife
