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Topics - tereza
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There's no journal section, so I'm just going to start one right here, cause I want to.  I think it's time I start recording positive experiences and putting more energy into what I want vs what I don't want and I think this would be a good place to start. So... First PostR (the guy I've been throwing myself at and obsessing over) and I are not talking right now. For a month he kept blowing me off saying that he was "busy". He was busy all right. Busy going to parties and baseball games. So finally, I got angry and stopped contacting him. Now we just battle each other on Instagram over who has the most interesting life. At first that really upset me, but then I realized that it's kind of funny that he stalks me on there and has to post a photo whenever I post one. It's one sign that he thinks about me. There are also a ton of other signs that I get bombarded with that let me know he's thinking about me (one just popped up in the shout out bar), but whatever. I'm still mad at him and I'm not trying to attract him into my life right now because in order to do that I need to forgive and be accepting and blehhhh. That's too much work. I'm going to continue kicking his butt with my iphone photo skills and we'll revisit forgiveness and acceptance later. Instead, the focus is back on me. I want to feel good. I want to be happy. I want a relationship where the guy treats me like a princess. I want dates that are planned ahead of time. I want flowers. I want to be picked up at my apartment and dropped off there. I want calls throughout the day and random gifts. I want a guy who pays for the date, instead of going dutch. I want him to be interested in my life and WANT to be involved in all the major events that occur, cause there are a lot and will probably be more too. I had this realization while I was reading "The Rules". It's a crazy sounding book, but hey. They totally nailed what I wanted in a relationship so I thank them for that. Plus, I'm open to try new things. The way I've been doing stuff hasn't been working. So I'm going to give their rules a try. Actually, I tried it out today.  Over the weekend a co-worker said her friend was interested in me and suggested that we go to some bar to meet. I said sure. But then this morning I realized that this felt totally wrong to me. I mean, if I wanted to be treated like a princess...why I am going out of my way to meet this guy? Not only that, why the heck doesn't he have the courage to call me? This guy is hot, like Bradley Cooper I-don't-know-why-you're-showing-interest-in-me hot. There should be no confidence issues there and even if there were any, why the heck do I want to deal with that? So I asked some girls at work for advice, bailed on meeting at the bar and told his friend that he was welcome to stop by my work and chat with me. I highly doubt he'll do that (especially since the girls at work were busting his balls for not manning up). But who cares? By turning that meeting down, I eliminated stress, I got to bond with my co-workers and I feel good. If he shows up, cool. If he doesn't, whatever. He clearly wasn't what I'm looking for. Anyway, what else? I've also been doing nice things for myself...which I think I really need to do more often. If you're going through a rough patch, doing something to care for yourself even if it's small like removing your chipped nail polish, feels better. Heck, I put on a mud mask for 15 minutes last night and felt ecstatic. I never do stuff like that because it's not practical (and really, mud?), but it made a big difference in how I felt the next day. Heh. Who would've thought putting mud on your face could lead to positive feelings?
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I wasn't going to share this, but I think I need to... So I've been struggling with jealousy and mistrust. There was a tiny bit of it last week, but I rationalized myself out of it and I thought it went away. But then it sort of popped up again yesterday. He had posted some photos of some places he went to this weekend and something started to bother me about it. But I rationalized it away and told myself I was being silly. But then this afternoon I got that "something's up" feeling and I went searching to find something. Well I found something, got paranoid, snooped some more and realized that it was nothing. Heh...there were even the numbers 444 next to the photo that made me paranoid and I read that it meant that I have nothing to fear, but I still went snooping. Hah and now I just saw the numbers 333 and that says to have faith in humanity. Geez louise.  The sad part about all of this is that this has happened a couple of times in the past with R and well, it's pretty much has always been nothing, but then I would let it make me all paranoid and ruin things. One time it was nothing and I knew it was nothing, but I was so obsessed I ended up manifesting it into something. So I know that this sort of thinking can lead to problems and would like to stop it. I'm going to affirm that I trust him, but eh...anyone have experience with getting over this sort of stuff?
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Two questions: 1. Are some people just no good? Like no matter how much you affirm, that person is always going to be a hot mess? I think everyone has read some crazy stories on here about poor treatment from exes, which then flipped around into a beautiful relationship...but then there are a few posts on here where the ex remained a douche. 2. Someone posted a comment about how sometimes if you're overcome with sadness, you're feeling the other person's sadness. Do you think that's true? I've had a few experiences where I'm overcome with intense feelings towards someone that I'm not really attracted to...in one situation the thought of making out with some random co-worker popped into my head while I was in the supply closet and then a few minutes later that person walked into the closet. I freaked out and got out of there quickly. I know for certain that was him and not me, because I had never thought of him that way before. But I rarely pick up on this kind of stuff, so I'm not sure if I'm feeling my own feelings or someone else (that sounds so ridiculous now that I've written that). Has anyone got experience with that? R keeps popping into my head and it's always associated with sad feelings. Except, I don't really want him back. Maybe I'm just super out of touch with myself? I don't know.
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I just want to say thank you to all the members who take the time to report spammers and trolls either by using the report button or sending PM's. You have no idea how much help you are. 
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I think, from what you've said above, you could just respond and say - "No, I don't hate you at all, but I have a lot going on right now. I will contact you when I have time to talk properly." (or something like that). I think it's better to respond and say that you don't have time to talk than to leave someone hanging wondering if you're going to get back to them) Actually, I think that's a great way to respond. It's truthful, it buys you time to sort your thoughts and it's not being mean or manipulative. (from a consideration point of view - I know there are others who would say that that's exactly the right thing to do, and if you keep her hanging she will become insecure and want you more. I just can't see that anything good comes out of a relationship sparked by insecurity This may be somewhat off topic, but it's something that's been bugging me lately as I've been reading a lot of stuff that recommends putting the focus on yourself and being treated like a "princess". On one hand, I appreciate the idea of treating yourself with respect and taking care of yourself. On the other hand, it almost starts to sound like a power struggle. Do I really want to be with someone who constantly coddles me because they're afraid of losing me? Also, do I want to be in a relationship where I can't relax and just be loving towards them? Anyway enough rambling, thanks for sharing that viewpoint. It's helping me sort out some thoughts.
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My favorite LoA blogger is all about not doing anything http://goodvibeblog.com/slacker-manifesting-abigail-steidley/ while I myself tend to be a bit more action oriented (though I've gotten results with both approaches). So I'm curious to hear about what works for you and your thoughts and experiences with doing nothing or doing something. 
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So I saw that Iron Ur had recommended reading "The Power of Now" and "The Inner Game of Tennis". I've tried reading "The Power of Now", but could never get past the first two chapters, so I figured I'd try reading the Tennis book, since it had good reviews on Amazon and was said to be a short read. So far it's living up to the hype.
It's geared towards people who play tennis, but it's easy to see how improving your "inner game" can be useful for life in general. Actually, I think this book explains a lot of stuff I had been thinking about lately, which some of the threads on this forum have touched upon. Like how you can still manifest things without feeling detached or positive or how bad people still manage to manifest good things. Being detached, feeling positive, forgiveness, unconditional love...those things aren't necessary to manifest. They're just tools to help with quieting the mind, which the book refers to as "Self 1".
See in the book they talk about how we have two selves. Self 1 is the ego-mind and Self 2 is the body/sub-conscious (which is extremely powerful and capable of complex things). Self 1 is the teller who gives direction, while Self 2 is the doer. Problems occur when Self 1 becomes controlling and tries to micromanage Self 2 and do the work itself. Self 1 tries too hard and as a result sabotages Self 2. Self 1 would sort of be like trying to manifest a million dollars by working 120 hours a week. While allowing Self 2 to manifest the million dollars would be just observing your situation and being open to whatever Self 2 discovers to be an opportunity. So the goal is to get to a point where you trust Self 2 and allow it do its thing.
Anyway, the most interesting part of the book is how they describe detachment. I think a lot of times when people read about detachment (me included) they think it means to not care about whatever it is they're focused on and there's this huge emphasis on not feeling a certain way. But in this book, detachment means being an outside observer who doesn't judge. The example they used was a man practicing his backhand technique in a mirror. The man knew he had to come down lower, with his arm (or whatever, I don't know tennis), but until he saw how he swung, he had no clue that what his body felt was the proper swing, was completely different from what he wanted to do. So as he watched himself and adjusted to the movement he wanted to make, he became used to the new feeling of what the movement should feel like. There was no judgement of the movements, no saying that this is wrong or right or I'll never get it. He just became immersed in the new feeling of what the movement should feel like.
It's kind of fascinating to think about. Being detached is just being an non-judgmental observer. Its observing what you want and allowing yourself to come into alignment with it. While the feeling part isn't about ZOMG I feel great!!!!!! It's....? I'm not quite sure how to explain this, but it seems that it's less about feeling great and more about feeling as if? It's the "I know, like I know, like I know" part, I guess?
Anyway, that's just my impression of the first half of the book. The second half seems more tennis heavy so far, but I'm coming up on a section about visualization, so perhaps there's more interesting stuff.
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I use a really old cellphone to access the internet occasionally. Well, one day I decided to check out this forum while using that phone and was surprised at how easy to read and access the site was through my phone. This rarely happens and most of the time I can't view pages without a lot of scrolling left to right or up and down. So I just wanted to say thank you for such great job on that! Also, this isn't forum related, but I just wish that the blog was as neatly organized as the forum. There are some old articles that I like to re-read but have a hard time finding them in the archives. Aside from that I love this website!
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<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/22439234" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0"></iframe><p>
from Terje Sorgjerd on Vimeo.</p>
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I would like to hear some. Here is one for me that happened today: I'm getting a check for $3.00 from an online survey site that I had forgotten I was a member of.
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