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After my break up, my ex started seeing other girls.. one after the other.. he'd come to me, and he'd discuss all these things with me.. lately he took me out, for a friendly date last month and just the next day he came and told me that he's seeing some chick and he also met her mom, i kept telling myself that.. this is just his way of trying to get hurt me, we kept talking normally and i was quite committed to my outcome to settling down with him.. I kept my hope up, let go of him totally infact also started going on dates with other guys.. and i felt amazing, until friday night.. i felt so pathetic inside, suddenly i started missing him so badly.. i just broke down and i started crying i tried all means to make myself understand.. yet wouldn't work..i ended up calling him up..
to make things worse, he put me on conference with his girlfriend, i disconnected the call, and cried some more, until i slept.. and when i woke up a few hours later.. i felt so so so strong inside, i got all my positive feelings back, i saw the dvd of the secret again..and i wrote down all the things, i want him to come and tell me.. and something inside me was telling me strongly that he still loves me, he just doesn't realize it..
MIRACLE MIRACLE MIRACLE -------
last night he calls me at 11.45 and he's started very casually and stuff, i sounded a little quiet and upset. . suddenly he was like, babe i broke up with my girlfriend.. when i asked him why..
he mentioned all those things, i had written in my journal..exact words
"babe,i was never involved with her, i was never into her.. i was just having a nice time with her.. thats all plus she pissed me off so big time.. i don't ever wanna see her face again, she sucks"
i was so shocked, that i asked him to hold... and i STARTED JUMPING, AND SHOUTING THANK YOU...
and i started laughing... hahahaha,, when i got back to the phone.. he was like,, why were u shouting THank you,, I couldn't stop laughing and i said a dumb thing, i was like.. because, my doggy just kissed me... hahahahaha, and he was like.. "you're a clown.. but quite a hot one" hahahaha..
yes yes, now i am 100% sure, this is my soulmate, and just within 1 and a half yr, i will get engaged to him and by 23 i'll marry him.. yes i am sure, he's the one for me.. and i am the one for him..
thank you, thank you, thank you so much guys!!!
...

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Can you see the good in this situation for even a short while? To me it is the fact that he needs to be flirty/hookupish because he is trying to get over you. He is using other people to help move on from you and what you had.

When my bf deleted me off all his contacts I was devastated and then realised the reason he did so was because if he stayed in contact with me he would have to face the feelings he has for me. By deleting me doesn't mean he doesn't care or love me but actually his fear that he will continue having feelings for me while with someone else. It's not the best comfort but in some moments I feel empowered knowing that in order to make his relationship work with the new girl he had to delete all contact from me.

In your case if you are trying to LOA him and see his flirting as a negative thing for you it will act as a barrier to getting him. Recognise the positive of his behaviour and realise he will return and if you believe he is just behaving the way he is because he is trying to get over you well when he is back with you he will have no reason to behave this way as he will be with you so no need to be flirting.

In my case I see the other women as a wake up call for him. I like to think of our relationship like a married couple where the guy gets tempted away by someone younger and some illusion/fantasy. For now I recognise his relationship with her as an infatuation and when the bubble bursts he will realise his mistake and return.

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Lovelife,

As a man, I think he may be going through a phase that men often go through after a loss. (break up) It may be that he is feeling unattractive, or maybe he is doing this because he thinks it is a way to make him feel good about himself.
As a practitioner of LOA, you should not concern yourself with his actions. He is still the one he used to be, but for some reason, he needs to feel attractive or wanted. He may feel lonely, or has possibly been rejected in one way or another recently.
You must not let yourself get angry or upset over his actions, because really they don't affect you. (they shouldn't) You must let go, so that anytime by chance you hear news of his antics, you will feel compassion, empathy, or joy depending on what the news entails.
And, you should only hear about them by chance, you should not be looking for info about him as you are supposed to be letting go so that you can attract him from a place of peace and personal power. Its the only way he will travel back your way anyway.
He is a free and uncommitted person at this point, So are you.
You do what makes you feel good about yourself, and he will do what he thinks will make him feel better about himself.
I don't think he got over quickly, I think he is trying to get past the feelings that arise in him for you.
In short, don't allow him to take any of your power away. Don't give it to him by being angry, or disappointed about what he does.
Go and make yourself the best life you can for you. Keep the faith, keep sending him love. He will see soon enough that the road he is traveling now leads to nowhere. But you must be patient, LOA will deliver in its own time and that timing will be absolutely perfect for all involved.
Ask, let go, believe, receive.
Hope this helps,
Peace and Love,
BW

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Hi,

You have to understand that he has played with your feelings and how he treated you. Do you really want to use the Law of Attraction to get him ?

Anyway, visualize yourself with him everyday, spending very happy and delight. The more exact you gave, the more feelings and emotions you will vibrate. Sometimes, you will even feel the sensation of excitement in your heart or butterflies in the stomach. Make sure what you visualize must not include other materials. Except you and him. That's all. This is what I think LoA could help best.

If you want to change the person's values towards you using the Law of Attraction, visualize the morals you want him to treat you. However, you cannot control him. You can only try to make him feel for you.

Just remember doing the processes above, give yourself feelings and emotions while you visualize. If you have negative thoughts or resistance, I always give a statement.

" This is not my job! Law of Attraction will help me to find the way. " (Avoid Negative thoughts)
" I am in the process of experiencing the Law of Attraction! I will get my desire!. " (Avoid Desperation)

Hope this helps,

Regards,
Berylac

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Dear friends,

since the question keeps coming up, I summarize my idea and would appreciate your views.

Firstly, I would say that...
- the original authors of LOA never said it is impossible.
- the idea of LOA is perfectly compatible with specific wishes.
- only some independent promoters of LOA advise against it.

So why do some advise against attracting specific persons?
1. it may not manifest as quickly as you would expect.
2. it is not an easy task to wait for one person when there are plenty of potential partners out there.
3. sometimes our willpower is not strong enough to ignore the sexual drive, which requires any available relationship as soon as possible.
4. sometimes our willpower is not strong enough to ignore the emotional pain caused by bad memories, that also create desperation and confusion.
5. there is a huge social stigma against loving someone who doesn't love you, being single for too long, or more in general, being "weird".

In many of these cases, especially when there are more convenient and more easily available options (there always are, as a matter of fact!), it can be easy to think that "someone else out there" might be better than the specific person we currently love.

If you think that way, that is exactly what you will attract!

It's not extremely wrong to think that way, but it is important to notice that all
these impressions and insticts are a result of impatience, and sometimes also of pride. And what is one of LOA's basic lessons?

Be patient. Many forget patience, always. If you want to attract something very specific (e.g. "I wish to be married with XYZ"), it will very likely happen in steps, and maybe not the minute after you broke up or were rejected. You will start seeing positive signals, get negative ones whenever you feel discouraged, and then keep getting positive ones again, gradually leading to the state you visualize, manifesting over time. Well, if she/he proposes to you the next day, fine let us know. It's very possible.

But the truth is that many of us who need advice still have some grudge in their heart, towards the specific person they love: bad memories, feelings of rejection, jealousy, pride. Yes, pride is what makes us think:"Ha, if you don't love me, I can have 1000 admirers anyway!" - That is not love, with or without LOA!

Be patient. Timing is up to the Universe, and you must keep hoping, staying positive and focused. Some advise that time heals. Indeed, thinking about other things for a while can speed up erasing the bad memories, and focus on positive aspects. But if you're good, you may also skip the interval and start remembering the good memories right away. Be grateful... and stay grateful. Many start thinking "Oh, my partner was so good to me, but...", "Such an angel, but...", "We loved each other so much and she really showed me how much she cared, but..."
No more buts! The "but" most probably manifested because of something negative you have been attracting for a long time.

Patience is the first part of the story. The second is empathy and emotional intimacy/"connectedness".

In my personal experience, if you're patient and grateful enough, empathy follows naturally. Why?
- you are more open to understand what makes the other person tick.
- as a consequence (while interacting) they also understand you better!
- you don't depend on their mood changes. This point is very important as it helps in daily relationship life: Imagine yourself married with her/him. What if she is impatient and starts screaming around, insulting you, after a stressful day, and then asks you to do all the chores and so on? You get annoyed? That's human, but bad, very bad!

This is all related to two more important LOA lessons:
I. Be "detached from the outcome".
II. Don't let your happiness and love depend on the other person's little mistakes. You are responsible for your own happiness!

Why is this so important? Because in (or before) any relationship, there must always be a strong foundation, and if you're part of the couple, you should be ready to uphold it even if the other person changes their mood/priorities/tastes/appearance/etc.
"It takes to two tango", as many say, but remember, "in partner dancing, the two dance partners are never equal. One must be the Lead and the other will be the Follow." (from encyclopedia)
This doesn't mean that one is superior, but simply that you take responsibility over your relationship: if she's sad, cheer her up. If she's jealous, show her she doesn't need to be. If she's ignoring you, show that you're still kind and look for reconciliation.

Like attracts like, but this metaphor doesn't mean it's the end of the world if people do small mistakes or if the other person does not fit all your expectations. Start by fitting your own (this is my personal comment, not LOA)!

This leads to another reason which I think creates difficulties in attracting a specific person: Ego.

The more we focus on our immediate impulsive needs, the more distance we create between ourselves and the specific person we love. We start neglecting the other person, misunderstanding them, and feeling hurt for things that may have never happened.

Example from my own life:
After my girl went abroad, during the first days we chatted online a lot. But after a few weeks she started answering only every 5 minutes, sometimes every 30 minutes, and I was heartbroken, imagining the worst things, thinking bad about her, wondering what I did wrong, closing myself up, having lots of doubts, not loving spontaneously as before, etc.
And when I went to her place, guess what I saw? She leaves her chat switched on even while cooking, studying and doing other things. Personally, I would have never understood that because I always log on the chat only when I want to speak and then switch it off...

Such small misunderstandings can threaten relationships.

I think that the moment we start searching for "any" partner and imagine their general traits instead visualizing someone specific we know and love, we are actually looking for something to complete our happiness, to gratify our needs. Once this something changes or doesn't make us happy anymore, we can easily switch to another partner who satisfies us for a period, and then to another, and another, and another... that's not love. And that's not LOA, which gives us the possibility to be happy in advance!

This is why - in my very very personal opinion and also in my experience of using LOA since almost 1 year - a "general partner search" could even harm the process of attracting someone specific. I think they are two entirely different processes; following one causes to neglect the other.
How can you understand and create empathy with an specific person when your mind is distracted by images about the "general"? As I wrote elsewhere, if we freely love "everyone and everything" we risk neglecting the specific needs, desires and the specific circumstances of an individual relationship.

This is just some food for thought.

Each person is an individual and to attract a relationship with a specific person, as some LOA writers put it, your vibrations with that specific person have to synchronize: put all your faith and efforts into this, and don't vibrate the slightest doubt. Doubts and thinking about other people (or desiring a "general" relationship) can create "interferences" in the vibration. For example: Imagine your partner is away for a few years and you start attracting in general. Several very hot guys/girls flirt with you, pay you all sorts of compliments, make you feel very sexy and important, right here and right now. Honestly, would you resist, if all you need is a any person?

This is why I think that it is very important, when using LOA, to distinguish between "anyone" and "Specific Person". Whatever you is in your mind is what you attract.

I hope I have outlined my ideas clearly enough and would appreciate your feedback, as using OA in the most successful way is in the interest of everyone here I think

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Oh, frabjous day!  Callouh!  Callay!  I just talked to Chris on the phone for the first time in over six months!  I cannot begin to express my joy!  We had a real heart to heart and I'll go into detail tomorrow. 
 
I believe my story will be inspiring because there's an element that no one else has mentioned in their stories that tempted me to be downhearted about mine but it isn't so bad after all.

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Guys...you cant honestly believe that this girl whos after a marriage with someone she DOESNT know outside of her TV screen is what we call healthy, now, can you? And her equally unhealthy mother who supported this crazy idea....hmmm. I wonder how much these 2 women must love and appreciated themselves if they think that a celeb wedding is the only thing that can take them out of their misery...
 
Now, lets think..why would someone be after a caleb marriage? I would say because of recognition from the media..and money...certainly, not out of love (remember, the girl didnt know the prince, therefore she couldnt be in love with him). But no matter how f****ed up these women were..no matter what their motivations were..they still manifested their desire. They were all over the news...documentaries were made on them..and i can bet my head that money was offered to them too. I can also bet my head that no matter how hard they visualised, they visualised about the EFFECT of the celeb marriage...not the groom himself, who was just the means and not the goal. So, i would say that they were VERY succesful...now everybody knows them in their town...they are local celebs. I bet that they get aroused when they go to the grocery store and the cashier knows who they are and maybe gives them free M&Ms to honour them.
 
About attracting a specific person now - yes i think it can be done. Some ppl say that no, it cant happen because then you will interfere with a person's free will, thus you must make a *general* soulmate request. But i cannot help wondering..how is it okay to interfere with a total stranger's free will...and not okay to interfere with the free will of someone you know and already have feelings for?? Because, for all Free Will Defenders....in your general search you will interfere with some strangers free will...because that person wouldnt pick u up if you didnt make your request...right??
 
For me, free will has nothing to do with LOA. Its not about manipulation but attraction. So, you can attract a specific person..however you cant transform this person to your ideal mate, if all their traits doesnt satisfy you. Maybe you can change them up to a certain point, IF you accept them as they are first..and then you must practice real unconditional love and be happy with them, or just leave them
 
Peace

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You are looking to start something new and better, so here is my take on the rocking his ass. Do you remember when you first met him? You do. Did you worry if he was rocking his ass or anyone else's? No. The point is do not focus on it at all, it is not your business, and therefore let go. He could be having orgies, etc. The point is that you work on you, and attract him back to rock your ass. Get it. Create and attract. He is a stranger to you at this point that you love, send him love, let go, and work on you. 

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you never need to worry about attracting a ex back really, when you have your power back, they come to you on there own.
 
also, EVERYONE and EVERYTHING in your life, you created. thats why you need to take responsibily.
 
because doing that reclaims your power AND you reconize you have the ability to do somethign about it

@Maddog

everything we come across we have manifested, we can allow it to serve us ofor our goals or resist them. all things are for our growth, something that may seem limiting now can acually serve you to getting your goal just as you desire it later

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Maybe change the way you are thinking?
YOu know how the loa works,so that means that you know that you wont have your beloved one back when you are in this state.  So change for that reason: I want to get him back,therefor I change. And I know that not only will I get my wish in getting him back by changing the way I think,but other positive things will appear in my life.

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I believe we do have the power to create our own reality.  I meditated a lot yesterday because I was missing Chris and wondering if I should give up, but of course, I can't because I love him.  By the way, anyone who has periods of feeling down, don't worry.  I'm almost always reaching for the sunny side and I still have moments of self-doubt.
 
Well, I found this post on powerfulintentions.org last night.  It is very inspiring!
 
I haven't been on this forum for over a year. I has really changed... i hardly even recognize it. I haven't been on in so long that i forgot my username.
Well I'm back because I find myself needing help to grow with my intentions but also to help others that need encouragement especially with love.
I will start by giving some background.

A year and a half ago I lost the love of my life through my own irresponsible actions (I didn't cheat but I did treat him horribly.) And I don't blame him for leaving. We were together for 10 years at this point. Once it sunk in that he was not going to stick around it was too late for me to make up for it. I went through all the stages of a breakup. Devistation, anger, feeling sorry for myself, feeling angry at myself... you name the emotion I went through it.
I went on different forums to find support but I mostly got harassed and told I don't deserve him. I started to believe it. But then I had snap out it if I wanted to do anything about it.
So I started watching the Secret every night. I downloaded the audio book and listened to it over and over... I even fell asleep to it. I had to gain my hope back that I was worth having what I wanted even if I did make mistakes along the way.
So I got the concept of the Secret. I just needed real life reassurance that I could attract a person back into my life. Most of the posts I read were about people just like me. There weren't many that illustrated love lost coming back. I knew that if my lost love ever came back I would have to come back and share my story.

So here I am. I want to tell you all that it can happen! You CAN attract your lost love back to you!!
After 4 months of putting the Secret to work I got my love back. 4 months and 1 year after I MARRIED him!!!

The first step is you have to make sure.... positively sure that you want to back with that person for the right reasons. Not pride, not comfort, it has to be genuine. Once you recognize the genuine love and want for this person you have to take a deep breath. You have to relax and trust that your love is worth waiting for as long as it takes to get what you want, because you never really know when it will come back to you.
And so starts the game of energy. Which is what the Secret is all about, energy. and to truly illustrate how I attracted it back was a post i discovered and read over and over and over and over and over.

"You redirect your thoughts to other matters. Now you only pay that person as much attention as you do everyone else (it is wrong to ignore the person - and that happens often as a reaction of ego, pride, etc.). You continue to be kind and good and behave as though nothing ever happened between the two of you. Although that person's reaction to your attention was negative, you are not adversely effected. (Can you see how easy it is to forget "the greatest love" once you "unplug" and distance yourself from it?)

What happens? The same person who didn't pay you any attention before now begins to take an interest in you. It is a game of energy. If you want something from someone or try to impose your needs on him or her, a similar situation arises because it isn't what "that" person wants.

The solution lay always in the middle ground. Returning to the example, where the situation is completely reversed, suddenly your opinion matters and he or she now finds you trustworthy and someone they want to confide in. In the first case you were giving your energy to the other person (in the form of affection and approval), in the second case, you withdrew your energy.

Feeling an overall absence of energy, the other person seeks to restore the balance of the original state. With your energy withdrawn, the other person must now go farther to restore the balance of energy, so far that they are now willing to "invest" some of their energy, attention. When you redirected your energy and gave up your desire, it came true.

Physics, which, among other things, describes the various relationships and behavior of energy exchange, can explain this phenomenon. The universe acts according to the principles of energy exchange and humans are primarily beings of energy that have a physical form. Thus, the idea that physics could inform the notion of relationships between human beings as an overall interaction and exchange of energy is not only phenomenal, but also becoming more recognized in the world.

This example illustrates one of the basic Laws of Nature. As long as you are trying to gain the affection of another person, your over exuberance causes the energy scale to tip out of balance, resulting in the object of your affection withdrawing theirs to the point of indifference. For them, this situation is ideal.

You are now in deep and under their control, eyes wide and bright, eager to please, doing whatever they want to the extinction of your own needs. When you withdraw your attention, and thus your energy, the scale tips in the opposite direction and the other party sees the resulting deficit as their losing control over you. Their fear of losing now compels them to respond by investing their energy to get yours back on their side again.

Whenever you feel the compulsion to force a situation, you are in danger of any disbelief you may harbour of a successful outcome overtaking you and extinguishing any tiny spark of faith and hope you have. "



So I "moved on" I got on with my life as best I could. Of course I always had him on my mind. But I wasn't staying in bed all day anymore. I wasn't drinking myself blind anymore. I had a life again.
Once I really started living by what I read I would get calls from him at least 3 times a week. Until finally I got a call from him telling me that he wanted to be back together.

So once again, let me reassure that it will work! It has worked!

My best of luck to everyone out there trying to attract their lost love!!!
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@brave lioness:

The easiest way - be selfish. At this point in time, throw Andrew out for the time being. No one should matter more than yourself when you yourself is not in the best state.

Remember what flight attendants say when you board the plane?

"In case of emergency, always put on your own oxygen mask before helping others"

When you are in a less than satisfactory state yourself, nothing you do for others is beneficial for you.

Remember LOA works through you - when the soil aint good, the plant isn't going to grow no matter how much affirmations you do.

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