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Sunshinee,

I never said that you stop wanting the return of an ex, but you do have to stop the yearning, longing and pining for an ex. Not just on the physical plane, but in the emotional plane as well.
I have been utilizing the Laws of the Universe for a long time and in my own experience, it has always been that I keep an unconditional love for them, care for them as a person, a human being, but drop the caring as to whether or not they are coming back or not. Thats when they come knocking at my door, or find you somehow to see how your doing or see if your still single or not. They have done this everytime, save one who passed away.

Quote:
Q, letting go, to me, means not caring whether she comes back or not. That is releasing and allowing. When you get to that point where you no longer have what I will call a "vested" interest in her, thats when she will most likely circle back around your way.

Letting go can't be a half-assed process, either you let go or not. You cannot keep pining over someone and wanting someone specific in your life without letting go completely and expect them to return in a way thats for the higher good of both.

I would love to know, and maybe you can tell me, because no one seems to be able to answer this question; How does one "let go" yet keep the desire in thier heart for the return of a loved one?, how does one go about the letting go process, yet still experience the lack of someone in thier life?
You can be sure they are coming back, and you can wait on them; but what if that wait is a year that turns to two years, then turns to five or ten years?
I'll tell you. Letting go means getting to the point of not caring whether that person is in your life or not, simply because you have to be happy to get what you desire.
Your vibrations must be at a higher level to manifest your desires. You can achieve this by letting go completely and by doing that, you are happy if they return and are happy even if they do not.
But you will have raised your vibrations to the point that if they do not, you are willing to take the risk involved in someone else, perhaps better suited than your ex.
If she comes back, great! If not, you are happy either way.
You can be assured that they will return, but if they return and your still pining over them, they will most likely run away from you.
Not only that, if you have made yourself unavailable to any others, then you will quite possibly have missed out on the actual one you were meant to be with in the first place.
Another thing, if you have made yourself unavailable to everyone but this one person, then by habit, you most likely will have made yourself unavailable to her also.
You subconscious mind is what handles this and if you continue to keep yourself wanting only the one, then you will have created a belief in the subconscious that most likely will not be easy to let go of, so you can experience love from another.
In short, you always care for and about the person, what you don't care about is if they come back or not. If you cared about that, then you have not truly let go and most likely will be experiencing a very long wait.
Life is about the now, let go now, so that your vibrations will rise, and the faster you do this, the easier it is for the Universe to match them. With your ex? Maybe. If not, then because you are happy with higher vibrations, you will attract someone you can love just as easily and probably even more.
Getting an ex back into your life is done all the time and it happens everyday. To "Attract" that person into your life to stay, takes letting go completely. Ask just about anyone on this forum.
If you have not let go completely, then your vibrations will attract vibrations that match it, and that is the lack of someone thats specific to you.
If you know a better way, then I am all ears. please, I humble myself before you, because I would really love to be with my ex forever and ever.
Peace and Love,
BlondeWop

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qkqking,

Its been a bit since I have written anything on the forum. I have been reading it though.

Q, letting go, to me, means not caring whether she comes back or not. That is releasing and allowing. When you get to that point where you no longer have what I will call a "vested" interest in her, thats when she will most likely circle back around your way.
That being said, she may not. This is why you need to be happy with, or without her. You need to be happy no matter what happens with her, or what doesn't happen with her.
This to me is the most difficult thing in attracting an ex home. (My heart is what I call home)
As for what else can you do to attract her? Just keep loving yourself, however you have to do that, whether it be through a hobby, working out, writing, whatever makes you happy that does not include her.
Feel free to date, go have fun with your friends.
Put your intentions out to the Universe, be thankful for them as they are already in your reality, then release them, let go of the hows, whys, whens, wheres, and let the Universe do as it does best.
The Universe may set up a situation that lets your ex see you as very attractive again, it may not. Instead maybe it will offer to you a situation to attract someone much better for you.
You don't know these answers, nobody does. But then again its nobody's job to know these answers, not even yours.
As far as believing, yes believe, believe anything that your heart desires, even your ex coming home. But you must let go to the point that it bothers you not, if she doesn't come your way ever again.
That is letting go, thats when they almost always come knocking on your door again.
The Law of Attraction will not hand you anything, at best it will, by your allowing, create a situation that will give you the opportunity to achieve your desires, whatever those desires may be. Keep you eyes ans ears open for these opportunities because they will come, then its up to you to manifest your desire.
If you can hold on to a love of your ex, and at the same time let it go to the point where you only want for her happiness no matter how she achieves it. Then I would bet that she will come around again in some form or another. If it is not her, I promise you will be pleased with who it is.
Good job on the birthday card.
It sounds like she is open to communication with you.
I am not understanding why you don't open up a dialog with her.
You don't have to move fast or flood her with emotions, just be her friend and let her become attracted to you once again, naturally.
Hope this was helpful to you.
Peace and Love,
BlondeWop

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Dear friends,

since the question keeps coming up, I summarize my idea and would appreciate your views.

Firstly, I would say that...
- the original authors of LOA never said it is impossible.
- the idea of LOA is perfectly compatible with specific wishes.
- only some independent promoters of LOA advise against it.

So why do some advise against attracting specific persons?
1. it may not manifest as quickly as you would expect.
2. it is not an easy task to wait for one person when there are plenty of potential partners out there.
3. sometimes our willpower is not strong enough to ignore the sexual drive, which requires any available relationship as soon as possible.
4. sometimes our willpower is not strong enough to ignore the emotional pain caused by bad memories, that also create desperation and confusion.
5. there is a huge social stigma against loving someone who doesn't love you, being single for too long, or more in general, being "weird".

In many of these cases, especially when there are more convenient and more easily available options (there always are, as a matter of fact!), it can be easy to think that "someone else out there" might be better than the specific person we currently love.

If you think that way, that is exactly what you will attract!

It's not extremely wrong to think that way, but it is important to notice that all
these impressions and insticts are a result of impatience, and sometimes also of pride. And what is one of LOA's basic lessons?

Be patient. Many forget patience, always. If you want to attract something very specific (e.g. "I wish to be married with XYZ"), it will very likely happen in steps, and maybe not the minute after you broke up or were rejected. You will start seeing positive signals, get negative ones whenever you feel discouraged, and then keep getting positive ones again, gradually leading to the state you visualize, manifesting over time. Well, if she/he proposes to you the next day, fine let us know. It's very possible.

But the truth is that many of us who need advice still have some grudge in their heart, towards the specific person they love: bad memories, feelings of rejection, jealousy, pride. Yes, pride is what makes us think:"Ha, if you don't love me, I can have 1000 admirers anyway!" - That is not love, with or without LOA!

Be patient. Timing is up to the Universe, and you must keep hoping, staying positive and focused. Some advise that time heals. Indeed, thinking about other things for a while can speed up erasing the bad memories, and focus on positive aspects. But if you're good, you may also skip the interval and start remembering the good memories right away. Be grateful... and stay grateful. Many start thinking "Oh, my partner was so good to me, but...", "Such an angel, but...", "We loved each other so much and she really showed me how much she cared, but..."
No more buts! The "but" most probably manifested because of something negative you have been attracting for a long time.

Patience is the first part of the story. The second is empathy and emotional intimacy/"connectedness".

In my personal experience, if you're patient and grateful enough, empathy follows naturally. Why?
- you are more open to understand what makes the other person tick.
- as a consequence (while interacting) they also understand you better!
- you don't depend on their mood changes. This point is very important as it helps in daily relationship life: Imagine yourself married with her/him. What if she is impatient and starts screaming around, insulting you, after a stressful day, and then asks you to do all the chores and so on? You get annoyed? That's human, but bad, very bad!

This is all related to two more important LOA lessons:
I. Be "detached from the outcome".
II. Don't let your happiness and love depend on the other person's little mistakes. You are responsible for your own happiness!

Why is this so important? Because in (or before) any relationship, there must always be a strong foundation, and if you're part of the couple, you should be ready to uphold it even if the other person changes their mood/priorities/tastes/appearance/etc.
"It takes to two tango", as many say, but remember, "in partner dancing, the two dance partners are never equal. One must be the Lead and the other will be the Follow." (from encyclopedia)
This doesn't mean that one is superior, but simply that you take responsibility over your relationship: if she's sad, cheer her up. If she's jealous, show her she doesn't need to be. If she's ignoring you, show that you're still kind and look for reconciliation.

Like attracts like, but this metaphor doesn't mean it's the end of the world if people do small mistakes or if the other person does not fit all your expectations. Start by fitting your own (this is my personal comment, not LOA)!

This leads to another reason which I think creates difficulties in attracting a specific person: Ego.

The more we focus on our immediate impulsive needs, the more distance we create between ourselves and the specific person we love. We start neglecting the other person, misunderstanding them, and feeling hurt for things that may have never happened.

Example from my own life:
After my girl went abroad, during the first days we chatted online a lot. But after a few weeks she started answering only every 5 minutes, sometimes every 30 minutes, and I was heartbroken, imagining the worst things, thinking bad about her, wondering what I did wrong, closing myself up, having lots of doubts, not loving spontaneously as before, etc.
And when I went to her place, guess what I saw? She leaves her chat switched on even while cooking, studying and doing other things. Personally, I would have never understood that because I always log on the chat only when I want to speak and then switch it off...

Such small misunderstandings can threaten relationships.

I think that the moment we start searching for "any" partner and imagine their general traits instead visualizing someone specific we know and love, we are actually looking for something to complete our happiness, to gratify our needs. Once this something changes or doesn't make us happy anymore, we can easily switch to another partner who satisfies us for a period, and then to another, and another, and another... that's not love. And that's not LOA, which gives us the possibility to be happy in advance!

This is why - in my very very personal opinion and also in my experience of using LOA since almost 1 year - a "general partner search" could even harm the process of attracting someone specific. I think they are two entirely different processes; following one causes to neglect the other.
How can you understand and create empathy with an specific person when your mind is distracted by images about the "general"? As I wrote elsewhere, if we freely love "everyone and everything" we risk neglecting the specific needs, desires and the specific circumstances of an individual relationship.

This is just some food for thought.

Each person is an individual and to attract a relationship with a specific person, as some LOA writers put it, your vibrations with that specific person have to synchronize: put all your faith and efforts into this, and don't vibrate the slightest doubt. Doubts and thinking about other people (or desiring a "general" relationship) can create "interferences" in the vibration. For example: Imagine your partner is away for a few years and you start attracting in general. Several very hot guys/girls flirt with you, pay you all sorts of compliments, make you feel very sexy and important, right here and right now. Honestly, would you resist, if all you need is a any person?

This is why I think that it is very important, when using LOA, to distinguish between "anyone" and "Specific Person". Whatever you is in your mind is what you attract.

I hope I have outlined my ideas clearly enough and would appreciate your feedback, as using OA in the most successful way is in the interest of everyone here I think

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Here is a story that makes me very happy to tell you….
My own success story. To all you guys out there loving someone who is no longer with you, please keep the faith, when I had none this site gave it to me and now I am happy to tell you a happy ever after found me!

Most of you know my back story, for those that don’t you can follow what a dark path I was on through previous posts. You can see how desperate, lonely, and heartbroken I was. You can also see how I was not using the law of attraction; I was merely hoping and blundering on.

The lovely man, who I think the world of, left. It was something that had been a long time coming, I had been in a dark place and so had he, we attracted some very negative things into our lives and our relationship. I could say that we killed it quite spectacularly. For some time I was a mess, I lost tons of weight, I didn’t sleep and all I wanted was him back.
When I realised I didn’t want the same relationship back (because it was destructive and harmful to us both) there came a turning point. I knew I loved him as much as ever but wanted something new and positive which enriched my life and not something that harmed either of us the way it had been.
This realization led to Tom asking if we could meet up, I didn’t do anything other than tell the universe I was ready to see him and I truly felt it, he text me the next day.
We met up and it was wonderful, we had a wonderful, easy and positive time.

The next day he called and wanted to see me, I was out so I couldn’t see him. Then the following day he text me several times and we just chatted and I went to sleep feeling very positive. The following day was his birthday and when I woke up, he had text me to ask if I would visit him for his birthday.
I did and it was wonderful to see him again, I felt very positive, confident and independent which had been growing in me for a long time.
We spent the day together and when I dropped him home, I offered for him to come to mine later as I was free. He was very unsure so I just let him feel that and gave him a fond farewell.
About 3 hours later, he turned up at my house and said he had cancelled all his birthday plans to come and hang out with me on his birthday. We had a magical evening and the next day he didn’t leave, and stayed over the next night, that was last night, he left this morning.
He spent the 2 days telling me how he loved me more than anything, that I am all he thinks about, that he has never known someone so amazing and I amaze him every time he sees me. That he loves me so much and that he wants to keep seeing me to see if we can make this work.
I asked him to not make any commitments at all because we needed to take it slow and that feels so great, I don’t have the desperation any more. I really feel ok with not knowing because I can just FEEL myself receiving even if I cant SEE it yet!
I know this man loves me so so much and it feel so great because I love myself just as much. I really feel like we have ended our previous relationship and started all over again and it feels more magical than ever.
He is my soul mate and I am the luckiest girl in the world.
I love you guys
xxxxxx

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I'm sending to everybody on this planet :

- much unconditional love and positive energy to receive what you want to manifest in your lives.
- thank you's, because without your help and support, I would've been somewhere bad in my life
- ( for those wanting their ex's back ) love both to them and the one that they want back.
- energy for good health and good-living
- energy that will create abundance in your lives
- energy for spiritual and material wealth
- energy for having the best friends and family in the world
- energy for accomplishing every dream that you have.
- happiness, positivity and hope for the good times that come in this moment.

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This happend to me when I was about maybe 8, I was young and in elementalry school I know that much. my family and I went to a location that displayed various trees planats and flowers and they added a special chirstmas decorations every christmas. while we were inside I was watching the automated elves build toys, the man dress as santa clause handed me a candy cane and asked

"what would you like for chirstmas?"

my folks taught me santa wsn't real since I was little, so I knew he was just a guy but I decided to just tell him what I really wanted.

"I really just want it to snow"

we had never had snow before, where I live, it never was the right conditions and I love snow. he looked about and said "well...that alittle hard, but we'll see what we can do"

I thanked him and went about the night with my family. totally forgetting about that intire conversation. the next morning....

my mother woke me up early, ealier then I really wanted. I whined "what?? it's eaerly..."

she said "look outside...its snowing!"

The power inside of you, is far greater then any power outside of you, and far greater then ANY in the world. ~Jeffery: my teacher's teacher.

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It's so great to be back.  10/29 was such an amazing day for me and it was soooo hard not being able to share it with all of you.

First, i texted Chris and he replied IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!   We texted back and forth for 3.5 hours!!!!

next, i had a bill that had to be paid but had no money, yet i never worried, figured it would work out and I received an unexpected check in the mail to cover the exact amount of the bill.

Then, i went for a job interview 'cause i'm still getting used to my Intuitive Life Coaching business (i.e. psychic, but not a fake one, I use my intuition honestly to advise people) and the good paying job I had was not working out for me with the Coaching business and my studies so i had to quit it. 

Anyway, saw that a cafe was hiring and it has my name in it's title; talk about a sign!  so, I went in and I had to take two written tests.  one of them was on wine!  How ironic!   Anyway, you all know i'm no stranger to wine.  Lol!  So, I aced both tests and was interviewed on the spot and I have a second interview on Monday!  They told me that I have a great attitude!!!

Then, as I pulled up to my house, one of my good friends stopped by and I got to chat with him for awhile.

Next, I was worried 'cause Trick-or-treaters never come by my house but I bought candy anyway because Halloween is my favorite holiday and tons of trick-or-treaters came by!

Then, I was able to visit with another good friend that I hadn't seen in a long time!

Then, I've been worried 'cause I know I'll have to pay my rent late and the only way to avoid late fees is if I babysit for my landlords and they called me, out of the blue, asking if I could babysit this week!

I was so excited because I knew that my amazing day would be an inspiration to everyone on here and I couldn't wait to share it and of course the site was down.   But, if that's the worst part of my day, I'm pretty lucky!

Oh yeah, I haven't had a drop to drink and don't even miss it!!!

Anyway, thank you all of you for all of your support.  I am confidant that the positive energy we share here is a manifestation booster!

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Hi all,

I had an account here before but I can not seem to remember my user name or password... None the less I am here again to tell you the amazing story of LoA and the return of my Ex... We will name him Bert

Bert and I were married in 2009.... Unfortunately, due to many negative things Bert filed for divorce in October 2009 (short marriage)... I had moved out in December 2009 and was heart broken beyond belief... I cried, I begged, I fought I did everything you SHOULD NOT do..

In April the divorce was final... That is when I found my biggest strength... The book and DVD 'The Secret' as well as this site. It's not that I have not known about the LoA for many many years but I was NOT using it in the right way.... All I thought was negative thoughts... And they came to me just as I attracted them.... When they say the LoA is very obedient... THEY MEAN IT!!!

I started my Gratitude journal on May 1, 2010.... I changed every negative thought about Bert into a positive thought. I gave thanks to everything and everyone in my life... I can tell you I felt better and better every day... Small things started to change in my life and I continued to be thankful.

I wrote in my journal just how I wanted Bert to contact me ( mind you it had been 3 months with no contact at all and our last interaction was very nasty). I even wrote the date that I would like him to contact me by.... That was May 3, 2010... By May 9, 2010 I received and e mail from Bert wishing me a happy mothers day and telling me that he misses me. I wrote him back thanking him and we e mailed back and forth for a bit... That day Bert called me and we spoke for 4 hours. From May 9th on we were in constant contact and our relationship was growing

I still wrote in my journal for how I wanted things to work out... I wrote that I wanted to be back in HB by August...With a full time job and living with Bert.. I would write it as detailed as I could see it in my mind.

To make a long story short... I got everything I wrote and believed... I went back to HB... I was living with Bert....I had a full time job... all was happening just as I had written... It was so amazing.. It was so powerful... I felt so good....

However, I got everything i believed.... I also had some negative thoughts that had come in and went unchecked and festered....

I thought about Bert's ex girlfriend and how I did not like that they were friends... I thought or felt something was a miss..... I went through his computer and i phone... And I got the conformation that there were some dishonesty on his part... He had gotten back together with "KAT" while we were apart... That would have been fine and not too big of a deal... Except when we were getting back together... The biggest part was to be 100% honest. I had asked him if he and KAT were ever back together and he said no... The emails show otherwise.

In the end I broke up with Bert... I had caught him in many more lies than just KAT... I miss him very much.. I still love who I thought he was... I know that I could attract him back again... But I want the "good" Bert... Not the lying Burt.... and the only person who can change him is him...

My point of this story is... Yes, you can attract your ex back.... I did...

My question's are this.... Did I create him going back to his ex? Or did I create him to lie about it?

My next question is this... Will the LoA give you something (such as my ex back) and then "hurt" me with it? Was this a lesson from the Universe that Bert is NOT the one???

I still have many decisions to make... I am still a bit confused if I want to attract him back....Because the person I want back may not be the person he is...

I just wanted to share my story with all of you... I know there are many of you out there who want their ex's back... My advice is write it... in very descriptive detail.. Visualize it... FEEL IT! and let it go... It came to me so fast, It was hard to believe... But just as fast as it came... it went away.... So mind your thoughts... Mind your words.... It is all very powerful

In Light and Love, Grateful 

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