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Great News!

We are very close to Launch "Project TransformZ".

It will not be a Public Launch in the beginning but for only Project Team Members.

We are looking for Passionate Members as Team , so if you want to be a Part of the Project Please Refer to below Link.

Click Here!!!  

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The Other Stuff
Janice bounced into my office and said, "I'm getting married." "To whom and when?" I asked. "To David Brown in September," she said. "How long have you been dating?" "Three weeks. I know it's crazy. I can't believe it myself, but I know David is the one for me."

Later, I discovered that David had been married twice before, had three children, and had lost three jobs in the past year. None of this seemed to phase Janice. "I'm so happy, she said. " I have never been this happy before." Janice is in for a rude awakening. Two years later she was back in my office saying, "I think I've made a big mistake." What Janice illustrates is that "falling in love" is not the foundation for marriage. Better check out "the other stuff."

Falling in Love
Falling in love is a euphoric experience. We become emotionally obsessed with each other. We wake up thinking about them. All day long they are on our minds. The person who is in love has the illusion that his beloved is perfect. Her mother can see his flaws, but she can't. His friends will say, "Have you considered.....?" But he hasn't and he won't because he is in love.

What no one has told us is that this euphoric experience is temporary. We have been led to believe that if we are really "in love" it will last forever. The fact is, it will last for about 2 years. Then you will realize that what your mother said was true. What your friends tried to tell you was real. Why can't we listen before we leap? Family and friends are God's gift. Accept the gift.

The Illusion
The euphoric experience of "falling in love" gives us the illusion that we have an intimate relationship. We feel that we belong to each other. We feel altruistic toward each other. One young man said "I can't conceive of doing anything to hurt her. My only desire is to make her happy." He believes also that she will make him happy.

Such thinking is fanciful. Not that we are insincere in what we think and feel, but we are unrealistic. We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature, we are egocentric. Once we come down off the high we begin to assert ourselves. Without the help of God, marriage will become a battlefield. It's time to pray.

Is It Love?
Some researchers have concluded that what we call "falling in love" is not love at all. For three reasons:
Falling in love is not an act of the will or conscious choice. It just happens to you.
Falling in love is effortless. We do outlandish things with no effort at all.
The in-love experience does not encourage us to help the other person grow. We view them as perfect; no need for growth.
In the Bible, real love is a choice, requires effort, and seeks the well-being of the other. It may start with euphoric feelings, but when these fall aside, real love will continue. Real love doesn't walk away when the feelings subside. Real love is the foundation for life-long positive relationships.

Love is a Choice
We are emotional creatures and one of our deepest emotional needs is the need to feel loved. When we "fall in love" we think we have found the answer. It is heavenly while it lasts. Our mistake is in thinking that it will last forever. It was not meant to last forever. It is only the introduction to the book. The heart of the book is a love that is far more rational, and volitional.

This is good news for those who have lost the "in love" obsession, and are back in the real world. Now you can choose daily to do something that will be helpful to your spouse. To give them affirming words and tender touches. To buy them a small gift and to look into their eyes and say, "I love you." When you do these things, warm feelings return. Learning to speak the love language of your spouse is one way to make the choice to love.

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BraveLioness,

I am in the thinking that by letting go and detaching yourself from your desired outcome, that either way, (he comes back around, or he does not), is the way to become whole with yourself, regaining your power and when either situation does arise, you don't have an emotional interest and choices can be made intelligibly.
As for visualizing, I too find it hard to come up with clear pictures in my mind of Karen and I together. I can see others clearly and easily, but for myself and Karen, its fuzzy and unclear. My mind gets full of all other things and very noisy. I am working on that by trying to clear out my mind so I am thinking of nothing before I attempt my visualization of Karen and I.
It works most of the time, and I think I am making headway on letting go, but as of yet there are no signs, no contact, nothing that would tell me if Karen thinks of me at all. I am the man Karen loves, and I am confident that she will come to this realization.
At this point, I know that when that time does come, it will come when I no longer need or better put, think about her coming round.
I try to make it a practice to think thoughts of us that make me feel good. I try to do it in such a way that I can emit the feel good emotions without emitting feelings of lack.
It is quite difficult, and I think this may be the reason it doesn't happen as quickly as we would like.
I am not scared that my efforts will be in vain, because I am letting it go and either way, I am stronger, wiser and an all around better person for the experience. I am thankful for her time in my life and hold no judgements about her for her decisions to be away from me.
In my situation, I can see no other reason for her to be gone, other than that I did not respond the way she wanted me to,  to her thoughts on taking our relationship to the next level when she wanted to.
Other than that, there is nothing but love between us. Because of this, she had lost her attraction for me, most likely because she thought she was spinning her wheels and getting nowhere with me.
I am not, and have not been for a long time in that mindset anymore, but I think the attraction for me was lost long before she split.
She now, I think finds it easier to be stubborn and move on without me if she doesn't see me or talk to me. This alone tells me she loves me.
When she does see me, however the Universe brings that about, she will have attraction again, no doubt, but I think that scares her.
So alone I go into the abyss, living well, and learning from mistakes I made in this relationship, and have vowed that when I fall in love with someone again, be it her, or someone else, I will go with my heart and not my head, and create a wonderful and forever type marriage that sees no pain from my lack of confidence in it.
Peace and love,
BW

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