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Just got out of this situation myself.  My advice is to face your fears and walk.  Don't give up but give space.  You don't want to be with someone if they make you feel you have to fight with someone else for their attention.  Don't call as much, don't answer the phone right away.  Be kind but draw the line.

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Thanks Lilly i will read that sounds interesting, i have visualizing and affirming every day for 6 months that i am in a happy relationship with my wife  now so i think its time i just let go and let her do what she wants.

 I know im a good person and that ive done nothing wrong to her to hurt her in all these years so im the one she should be chasing not the other way.

 My desire is to be in a healthy and happy relationship with my wife, the universe knows this and deep down beneath the anger and rejection that i feel this is what i would like most of all so i will just give her the divorce she wants, i like a woman to really want me not try to be with me for the sake of it.

thanks

That's a good way to think about it all.  You seem like a good guy, and a woman should be grateful to be with you.  When it hurts and it makes you sad just take pride in the fact you have a big enough heart to care about someone even after they've done wrong by you.  It's odd how that will actually make you feel better.  Many people just get bitter and allow it to cause them to shut down.  Things will work out fine.  Keep focusing on you, hit the gym and continue to grow. 

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I probably misunderstood something....I just believe that everything you do is directly causing your subconscious beliefs to alter or stay the same.  It's not rude to state your thoughts so no need to apoligize

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well i get where youre going with it bud.  but you should do it all out of love.  would having someone fall to the ground and look up at you be something out of love?  you for sure want your power back, but not at the expense of another.  while it may work, it would be considered a dark art, and you would pay teh price for it eventually.
ALWAYS do it from a place of love.  and that quote the ILR put up is the place you want to come from.  that love right there.  let fear show its face and laugh because the love you have will conqure all

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gonna have to disagree with you lovelygirl.  and no disrespect intended. 

newella you can alter your subconcious.  there are plenty of posts here on the forums about it. 

the thing with your subconcious is it is a creature of habit and comfort.  it navigates you, tells you when youre out of your comfort zone.  your comfort zone and other areas are all beliefs and habits that have been formed for years.  so it takes a while to alter it.  things like eft and affirmations are a few ways to begin to change it.  find a belief you want to change and focus on it for awhile.  lets say upon exploring you find you have low self esteem.  this can come from people picking on you early in or through out your life, parents not encouraging you or various other aspects.

the thing to do for that would be repeating, daily, minute to minute or second to second, things like........i am a confident and beautiful person.  i am the type of person that enjoys my own company.  i am amazing.  things that would build confidence.  look up some eft stuff as well.  eft is amazing at unlocking doors you subconciously lock to keep you "safe".  the problem is you have to get out of your safe zone to move up and move on.

people tend to forget the mind, both the concious and subconcious is theirs.  they often seperate the subconcious as its own enity.  which is not the case.  you control everything.  to further prove a point think about this.  your subconscious controlls your breathing so you dont have to........however, you have the conscious choice to hold it or not.  you then have the conscious choice to listen to the alarms going of in your head telling you that you need ot breath which is your subconscious sounding the alarm youre in danger.  you always have a choice and you are always in control.  remember that and you will find that things can change very fast for you.

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damn bro....i just gotta say thanks.......thats one thing i realized i screwed up on with this chick........i tucked my man parts away and turned into a wuss......now im tryin to figure out the best way to go about showing her theyre back....but your post helped me out a lot with some shit and made me realize im on the right track with this. 

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well to kinda expand and explain a bit....the only problem with rs and all that stuff is it can leave you attached.  thats the only reason it may be counter productive.  when you are needing to detached so that you can reach your goal then it may be a good idea to skip all that stuff until you can get to a point where you can do it with out being attached to the outcome.  where you can do it and just walk away and not think twice about it.  i know thats hard to do, we all struggle with it.  but it is a necessary thing to do.  think about it like this.  if you are able to believe that it will happen, if you have faith that it will happen, do you really need to do all that stuff on a constant basis.  the truth is no, if you are constantly doing it, you are attached to the outcome too much.  you are doing it because you are afraid to lose what you are trying to attract.
so the short to you question is no it wont slow anything down.  the woman i would like to have back i attracted back once already.  i did rs ONLY at the points where i was inspired to do so.  i think maybe 2 or 3 times.  but what i remember is i just went about my business, asked for a sign once in a while, got my sign and moved on with my life.   

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CRIMSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seeing your name made me forget about her actually you hit it right on the head.  that clicked perfectly as i read it i was flooded with a ton of memories of some stuff...........indeed it is up to her now.

on another note........when are we getting married??? and how are you doing these days?  pm me and update me!

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awesome dan!  you are one of the people i had been wondering about from the forums.  its great to read all that.  congrats on being reunited, and congrats on your personal growth!

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not too blunt at all.  id rather people be blunt.  im not going to persue anything with her at this point.  like i said i deleted everything that had to do with her for my sanity. 

she is very complicated.  i think shes afraid to get attached after thinking things over.  the last time we got real close she pulled back.  she has trust issues which come out.  along with other stuff.  ya its hard to watch.  specially being ive been there.  but it is what it is.  and i wish her the best

i was looking more for just input on what people think.  which is hard being i cant really say everything thats gone on.  for now i will send her loving thoughts.  and focus on her well being. 

thanks you two

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Hey bud!  Well its my first time really back to these forums in awhile.  Yours was the first post to come up, so i thought i would see whats goin on.  Looks like youre on the right track to me.  One of the hardest things I have seen people be able to grasp going through this process is trying to fight the sad feelings.  Well.......why shouldnt you be sad?  Why shouldnt you be upset?  You should!  Its very normal.  The whole thing is, like was pointed out by i love rainbows, is there is a process.  Dont beat yourself up when you have a good day, then it turns to crap and you feel like garbage.  Relish in the good part of the day.  Acknowledge that and focus on it, even if youre feeling bad.  See the change just that brings.  Then remember theres always tomorrow. 
One of the things that is a lil hard to understand is how quick we can actually change our emotional state just by saying we will.  for example,  do you think for a second that if someone came to the door and said...you just won 3 million dollars! you would be depressed?  i doubt it.  you would be jumping up and down.  if nothing else for awhile.  or.........what if your wife walked back in the door.  have you really stopped to picture that?  get emotionally involved in that?  have you felt that yet?  if you havent felt it, you cant create it.  you have felt her leave you, you did feel the fear before that.
time to feel the joy!  not only of her coming back, but of you being self confident and sure of yourself.  it will come in spurts, but enjoy those spurts.  notice them, take note of them.  soon it will be built in to your system.
off to work right now, but i wanted to give my 2cents before heading out.  hopefully it helped some. 

Dont worry my friend.  it all gets better.  and as much as this might sound bad....remember, you are an amazing person, and if she doesnt want you, her fault, her loss. 

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so ive skimmed over this thread and its preeeeeeeeeeetty interesting.

its been a while so let see if i go about this the right way.

gogetter......nobody here is being mean.  i know mariposa can be straight forward, but shes not mean, and not as straight forward as im about to be.

its all your fault and it will all continue as long as you keep the views and beliefs you have of a)yourself b)your surrounding world c) your family and other humans.

you might want to sit back and ask what lessons you can be learning from all these interactions.  what could you have done different to change those interactions.  and i know theres things you could have.  let me pause right here.  yes.  i know youre upset at me saying this.  well, let me be straight forward one more time.  get over it.  sound rude? sound mean?  its not.  what it is, is the best advice you can ever take.  get over it.  let it roll off your shoulders and just get over it all.  so you have to jump through hoops to get extra money.  seems to me you are focused on having to do that and thinking that this money is owed to you.  its not.  so be grateful that you even get the money. 

in everything you have wrote.  you blame everyone else.  let me tell you from experience, its not their fault.  non of it.  you can read a million and one books.  that doesnt mean a thing.  you arent applying those books.  thats apparent by the fact you continue to think youre surrounded by bad people.  when in fact, it seems to me youre being surround by lessons that you refuse to acknowledge. 

if you did get this far with out getting mad i give you credit.  maybe youre learning something after all.  when you fully understand that it is you and only you responsible for everything in yoru world, you will fully grasp the ability you have to keep it from being bad.  theres a lesson to learn in everything.  its up to you to learn it.

i wish you luck on your journey.  how long and hard it is will be up to you. 

p.s.  im not saying that bad things dont happen.  cuz they will.  however, if you can find a way to accept what is going on, learn from it, and be appreciative of the lesson, those bad things arent always as bad as you think initially.

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ahhhhh ava, so beautiful.  that brought tears to my eyes.  not from sadness, but from the love i could feel pouring through your words. 

i have also sensed more peace in that post then i have in a long time.  that brings a great deal of joy to my heart.  what you are doing for yourself is amazing. 

i wont tell you that it will be soon.  the universe works in its own interesting time.  i will tell you that you are now in the spot you should be.  stay there and great things will fallow.

you are an amazing and beautiful person inside.  there is nothing but great things in store for you.

love you lots my dear friend and sister 

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Now I just have to figure out how to overcome it...

Face it.  simple as that.  face your fear.  let me explain a bit what you are doing right now.  this desperate search to find a way to deal with your fear is making it bigger.  by focusing on getting rid of your fears, you are thinking about your fears, and making them a bigger issue then they are.  just ask yourself whats the worse that can happen if...... and then just face it.  no emotion, just stare it down like you would yourself in the mirror. 
you can ask and ask and apply everything you read, but until you learn to stare it down and show it you arent afraid its going to come back.  until you do that, all you are doing is padding it behind a wall of affirmations, eft, chants and anything else.  they are helpful in facing it, but they are only aids.

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I won't load something in my mind I am not 100% sure of what it does and if it does what it tells it does.

well if thats what youre worried about, i wouldnt listen to the radio, watch tv, look at a newspaper, magazine, advertisement on billboards, buses or pretty much step outside of your house.  you would be amazed at how much has subliminal messages in it to make you think you need something vs want it.  kids cartoons have subliminal messages about sex, money and drugs.  what it comes down to is what you will allow yourself to feed off of.

although i havent watched these videos i am doubtful they are anything harmful.  from what it sounds like its just a tuning fork.  and in reality, if you are afraid of subliminal messages getting through to your subconscious.....guess what youre going to attract?  heck did you know that the colors of mcdonalds are actually feeding into your subconscious? 

good post.  this is just another tool to show you how everything is energy and moving at different vibrations. 

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