Views on initiating a negative zone/having a private chat system on this forum

[Grateful Sunshine :)]

Hi..
I have initiated a new post on this because I thought it would be worth to have opinions and it will help Ankur to see our feedback at one place.I guess there is a limited space for posts in the Ankur says...thing so here are my views
I personally DONT like the idea of initiating something separate called as Negative Zone because of following reasons :

1. I would never conciously like to go to a place called as Negative Zone to answer the posts and even to post there when I am feeling negative because the very idea of going to a negative place will attract more of it.Well my opinion

2. If more people feel this way like me,they will not like to extend support to friends who are low at the moment by replying.

3. The very idea of calling a temperorily low feeling as Negative does not resonates well with me..because we all undergo through some not so good times and at that time this forum and its members and their kind words are the biggest support.Remember we are here to mutually help each other

P.S I find something NEGATIVE only when people claim a sucide attempt here.Would request you all if its only for getting attention,try something like Shouting that YOU NEED ATTENTION or sending a pm to members

Also with due respect to all those whose opinion is different from mine,I also do not like the idea of starting a chat system with specific people..as its the posts which have lead to an amazing store house like Sneha said and sometimes we like to re read the advise given to us and to others when we can relate with it.I also agree with Lise that everone is worth helping and I think the chat system will defeat the very purpose of the idea behind this forum.
Just my views..No offenses to anyone intended.
Ankur I really like the forum just the way it is barring offcourse the facebook thing on the extreme right which is annoying at times but its not a great botheration as compared to all wonderful things here Thank you so much for making this site..Any combination of alphabets would not be able to explain how much grateful I am to you and everyone here

Love and Peace!

[Mr positive]

well the whole idea of that is to vent in a different spot and allowing the other pages to be positive! Idk but it sounded good to me !

[Ginny]

I agree with you Bal. I don't see why a separate section is necessary, or why people should be labelled "negative" just because they are feeling down for a bit.

[angel_star]

I agree with every reason you have mentioned Bal. Even I do not think its a good idea to start a negative section. Honestly, my vibrations need not go down just because someone posted a negative post. It would affect me only if I let it affect me. So its all under my control. And the people who post their problems are not posting them to create any negativity here. They genuinely need help. We can help them by giving positive advices and positive vibes. So lets help them if we can...if we cant, lets not go to that post at all. There are a few times when certain threads haven't felt good to me because the advices are not valued. I just avoid those threads and hence they do not affect me at all. Well, this is just what I think...

[ASD]

Me too agree with you bal.....we here to bring positiveness in everyone life's ..........so y to have a negative zone.....

[lashark]

There are people on this forum that have control and practice control over their emotions by guiding their thoughts. There are people on this forum that put effort in being positive and feeling good and because of that effort they are usually in a positive happy state of mind. And the LOA so obediently only shows to them things that are positive and even in a "negative" post, they see the positive in it.

I am one of those people and I know there are SO MANY on here like that, other than myslef as the previous posters have so amazingly shown, when I see a "negative" post, I see if I can offer some advice, if I can't find the words in that exact moment I trust and hope and KNOW that this person will find the clarity because I truly believe all people deep down, are pure positive energy and everything is all about energy and intent, I also truly believe that everything is OK no matter how bad someone might think it is, everything is really OK, for everyone. I NEVER have read a post that gets ME down because I don't allow it. Because I choose to focus on the wellness and good in the world and in people. I focus on it so much that it has shown up in my experience so much that it's now what I expect and mostly what I get. I say mostly only because I am not a master at everything, I'm still learning and growing too.

People can do what they want but no one will be learning a single thing by pushing what you don't want into it's own category and magnifying ANYTHING negative, even if it's to "VENT". Ok, so you are "venting", well what is that going to do? Make you feel better? You might say that's your reason but do you really feel better? Where do you find the success stories that came from "venting" and amplifying thoughts and feelings you don't like? Why not just try being a little more determined in finding relief through your mind? How do you think you got to where you don't want to be to begin with? THROUGH YOUR THOUGHTS and how often you practice them.

The idea of starting a "Negative/Venting" section reminds me of when people tried getting together and kicking Uploading off. you don't like the "negative" posts? Then get a hold of yourself and shift your focus to things you do like. You want to vent? fine, but remember that no one ever got to a happy ending through an unhappy journey and "venting" with words doesn't sound like a happy road to me, if you feel overwhelmed take a bath, DO SOMETHING THAT FEELS BETTER, play a game online, distract yourself for a minute, eat some cake, watch a funny show. Give yourself a break and shut up for minute. Isn't venting what you've been doing your life anyway? EVerytime you talk to your friends and family and even strangers haha (I've even had some clients try and get crazy with me and just start listing everything wrong with their day just by me asking 'so how are you doing?'), don't you always talk about your problems anyway? Let me ask you this, how has that been working out for you? 

Like I said people can do what they want but this isn't going to show anyone anything other than that, it's OK to get a bunch of stuff you don;t like and just put it away somewhere so you "don't have to deal with it" and that there is some sort of benefit in amplifying and regurtitating everything that is wrong with how you feel and in your life.

When you say no to something you're really saying yes to it. How? BY YOUR FOCUS AND ATTENTION ON IT.
Trying to control and change what is outside of you, no matter how good you've become at it, NEVER changes what is happening inside of you, it might for a little while, but it never lastsssss.....

Change what is inside and the outside circumstaneces will change on their own to match how good you feel within yourself.

I appreciate those of you trying to understand what I'm saying and to those that know exactly what I'm saying and I even appreciate those of you that think this is a good idea or will somehow make you feel better. I honestly don't care if someway somehow some people can get Ankur to put in a "Negative/Venting" section in a LOA forum, but these are my views on it.


Sidenote, that whole chatting with specific people, isn't that what PM's are for?

[lashark]

PS if you post a thread and want to talk about certain issues and it just so happens that you find yourself on a roll about things you don't like and you're venting about it, don't worry, no one is judging you or blaming you and everyone here is so loving, everything will get better and you will get amazing advice, but if you are venting ON PURPOSE, when you decide to get everything you don't like and make it really really big and really loud on purpose, that is what I was talking about in the post above.

[Ankur Sancheti]

All,

"Negative Zone" sounds like creative term.

The way i see this solution is more in "Self-dicipline". I mean you can easily make out if someoen made a post our of mere panic or did he reallt mean what he said in post.

No offence to Uploading, but i can easily find when he panics and make posts. At least it used to be.

The solution float around not posting anything when we panic at least wait for an hour or so, get a grip onto oneself then one should consider posting.

Its just an appeal, but will all follow this? I dnt know, really all i can assure if followed it aill keep lot of Negativism off here.

"Negative Zone" may also be a good idea, but i leave upto you all to decide and let me know should we implement it or not. I am Open for that.

[Grateful Sunshine :)]

I agree Ankur but I dont thnk people are spreading negativity here by posting when they are low except fr two or three incidences (that too I dont know if its intentional or not so I refrain from talking about those)and even if you make a Negative zone..its upto people to post in thr and nobody would conciously like to use the Zone..atleast I wont even if I am feeling little low,I would prefer NOT to call it negative so I dont think WE SHOULD NOT HAVE SOMETHING CALLED AS NEGATIVE ZONE!
I agree with Angel_star,lashark,AV,Ginny..things cannot disturb us till we let them do that.I love helping my friends here when they are low..I love sharing their joy too..Likewise I look forward to support.Its all the part of our journey to live a desired life.Lets not be judgemental.

P.S However I still agree that Sucide claims appear Negative to me. but I certainly feel that the very fact that people are writing here about sucides is that they choose Life and are looking for kind words to take them out of this low feeling by getting the attention..and even if we have something call as Negative Zone..I am very sure people would not use it for these cases..

[Sneha]

I second Bal on this.This forum is the best thing that has happened to all of us.But when did you get here?
We were all going through some rough times in life, when we chanced upon or were told by word of mouth about this forum and the support system that the lovely people offer here.Lovely people have been positive and negative both at different times in the past, and will continue doing so.
 
If a new memeber vents out saying "this aint working for me", we all explain, siting examples why he is wrong and what he \she needs ro improve.This behaviour has been shown by many old members too.Is this negativity? I do not think so.

I will specifically mention Uploading's case here, no offense to him personally though.I have seen people flocking to answer him on his actaully "blasting out " posts.But if we say we are mature , have learnt and know what LOA says, we would wait for him to cool down, as Ankur said.The death threat that he posted was a negative one , for sure, but the best was done by deleting him off for some time i guess, I am not sure what was done though.So we need to handle such situations and not seclude them under "This is negative \ do not read or answer \ ignore".It would demean the whole idea of this forum.
Private chats, sounds very tempting, to see the people you would like to talk showing "online", but how will we have a record \store of the fabulous advises given here which can be applied generically too, althought they are given for specific situations.But again, it is a "Forum" ..whcih means "all for all "

Also lets say a new member wants to know something, should he go on a pinging spree? Clearly friends this is not a good idea.

[tereza]

I dislike the idea of a private chat. There's already the pm feature, plus you can always exchange chat information and talk through an im client. I also dislike the the idea of a negative zone for the reasons listed already.

But I kind of think that instead of the newest post showing up on the left sidebar, it would be nice to see the newest threads created. So instead of seeing 7 posts to one thread, we could see what else is going on? I think maybe people would be less panicky about their threads if they could see that it was getting a decent amount of time up front.

[Ankur Sancheti]

@Tereza: Are you talking about "Recent THreads" instead of "Recent Posts"?

[tereza]

Yes, I think "Recent Threads" instead of "Recent Posts" would be nice. 

[Sneha]

I agree with tereza, This would help.

When we click on anyone's post on a particular thread \ topic, we can read all the lastest\unread replies.
So if we have a list of new threads \topics instead of new replies we can have more topics there and better visibility.

[Sneha]

I also fee that the poll does not really do what it is intended for because many times the questions and answers are not relevant.
 Any ideas about improving it?