Why it's Important to be the best person you can be

[Detached&Allowing]

In many of my responses to posts in this forum I have suggested that people be the best people they can possibly be without truly justifying how this applies to LOA.  Due to my lack of justification, I have received some resistance to this theory.  I apologize for it just came to me why I feel it is so important.

The premise behind LOA is that "like" attracts "like".  So if you enjoy spending time by yourself, you will attract those who enjoy being with you.  If you truly love yourself, you will attract people who love you.  If you respect yourself, you will attract people who respect you.

Any thoughts?

[BELE]

So, why do we not instead attract those who enjoy spending time by themselves, those who truly love themselves and those who respect themselves? Wouldn’t that be more logical?

Btw. How can there be one common standard regarding what is the best?

[Detached&Allowing]

You present some very good questions and while that does sound logical, limiting beliefs are what block us from attracting a person with the qualities mentioned in your response.  In the process of becoming the best person you can be, you work through those limiting beliefs allowing you to attract exactly what you want.

In regard to your second question "best" is definitely relative.  That is why I stated "best person you CAN be".  For some, it may be a PhD in Physics for others it may be a stay at home mom.  It's all relative. 

Does that make sense?

[loveofabundance]

@schenderson, while I greatly appreciate your counsel, I have to disagree with you on this one because it seems to be a limiting belief and seems to imply that love, especially self-love, is conditional. 
 
While it is good to strive for personal development and to set and achieve goals, it is actually impossible to be the best that one can be because there is no finish line when it comes to personal growth.  No matter how much one accomplishes, there are always new levels of excellence to reach for.  It's like Abraham-Hicks says, "You simply can't get it done."
 
I'll use myself as an example.  I came into this world as a beautiful, happy, out-going, high-achieving child.  My family, friends, and teachers loved and admired me very much.  My parents' love for me was very conditional.  If  I failed in the slightest way to live up to their expectations.  I was severely punished.  Everyone else around me told me my parents were wrong but it still hurt me so much.  Soon, I was conditioned to believe that I had to be absolutely perfect in order to be loved.
 
I have let friendships slip away because I made mistakes and was too ashamed to face the friend thinking that they no longer loved me because I am flawed.  I have passed up opportunities to date men to whom I was attracted because I felt that there was no way that a really great guy would like me because I am imperfect.
 
All the while, I was working very hard to be the best I could be with the thought in mind that once I reached my personal best I would finally be worthy of all of my desires coming to fruition.  Mind you, whether I was doing my best or doing my worst, I was surrounded by happy, loving, beautiful people because, and you're right on this point, like attracts like.  I didn't have to do anything in order to be a happy, loving, beautiful person because that is who I am by my very nature.  It's who we all are!
 
It turned out that the friends I felt I'd let down didn't see things that way at all and the men I admired were also attracted to me.  Unfortunately, I was so focused on having to be the best I could be that I was unable to appreciate myself as I already was, even though I was appreciated by others.  The reason I wasn't receiving my main focus goal wasn't because I was or wasn't being the best I could be; it was because I believed that I didn't deserve it.
 
I don't think that it's necessary to have to be the best you can be before attracting your desires.  I think that the key is being happy with who you are NOW, exactly as you are in the present moment.  Self-improvement is something best done because it's fun and satisfying, rather than as a means to "earn" the things we desire to manifest.  Once we believe in our hearts that everything we want is already ours, then we manifest it!
 
Right now, I'm nowhere near my personal best but I have never loved myself more!  On this forum, we often state what we are grateful for today.  Well, today I am grateful to be me and to be able to share my unique perspective and experience with my fellow sentient beings!  God Bless Us All!
 
 

[BELE]

schenderson22: With all due respect, I don’t agree and I don’t think that makes much sense when you really put it to a test. If there is not one common standard for what is the best, how can you ever know that the person you give this advice would become more able to attract what they want by becoming the person they think is the best? If this means to them, say, “the most successful criminal in town”, why would becoming a more successful criminal – normally – make them more attractive to the former lover they want to attract back in their life? Wouldn’t it normally rather scare that former lover away?
 
It is true when you say that limiting beliefs are what block us from attracting a person with the qualities we want. It is also true that working through THE RELEVANT limiting beliefs will allow you to attract exactly what you want. However, to get a former lover back, you probably don’t have to work on the limiting beliefs that keep you from being “the most successful criminal in town”. Getting rid of your limiting beliefs regarding that former lover also doesn’t necessarily make you a better person due to your own standard. Getting rid of all your limiting beliefs is also not necessary. In my book that would make you a saint and one with God.
 
There are two ways of perceiving the issue of “vibrational match”. Either you go with the idea that your vibration needs to match that of the person you want to attract. Then you would attract a person that is similar to you (“like attracts like”). This may mean that you have to lower your frequency and actually become – by most standards – not a better but a worse person, to match the vibration of the other person. The alternative is that suggested by the Hicks: you should try to feel good all the time to attract what you desire. But what makes you feel good may be something that makes you not a better but a worse person due to your own relevant standard. Now, my point is: None of these methods necessarily means that you become a better person under your own standard. Basically “better” or “worse” is not a relevant concept to any of these understandings.
 
My conclusion: If you want to introduce the concept of “becoming a better person” into the LOA, you need to provide a useful definition of what is better and, if that definition doesn’t fit under one of the theories that already exists, you also need to provide an explanation why “becoming a better person” holds any value under the LOA.


LofA: In my book love is ALWAYS conditional. Unconditional love is divine love and very different from what we normally refer to as love. Still, the conditions may be more or less severe!

[Detached&Allowing]

I definitely appreciate your thoughts on the matter.  This forum is a great place to share thoughts and beliefs.