today was the first day which got me somehow... in a negative way.
i am not a mean or sneaky person at all, i wasnt before i was into loa and now i changed even more to the better.
even in times of my life, where i tried to be happy and fought on every place, i attracted really mean people who tried to make my life a hell.
in row- it was terrible. my ex BF that time was alcoholic and stalker, i had to escape, lived one month in a guestroom. the new flat i found- the landlord was a big stalker. i had to move again.... found a really lovely flat--- and what?
my neighbour was insane and the biggest sick stalker i have ever seen. this tory would be long, but that is strange hm?
it took me a while to move out again, beside that- my nerves couldnt anymore.
even by thinking of loa, i still dont have a proper answer for that.
i moved into my flat now, i was soooo happy to live finally in peace---- but after only 2 weeks, someone kept removing my name from my bell as well from my letterbox.
at that time, no one knew where i live. so it must have been one of my neighbours.
we are 3 families living here. the woman under me was already strange to me when she got introduced to me. the other one is honest and very nice.
that letter box thing went a while until the nice lady helped me and we had a talk all together, where she stated, she doesnt want to live in a fighting house. ( she is on my side and knew as well that my neighbour was removing it, because of being jealous or some crap) all i wanted to do was living, nothing more, just having peace in my own flat.
ok, that stopped and i made "friends" with her.
now she starts all over again, by placing her washing right in front of my washingmashine, so i really have problems to reach my machine, cause all over me her wet clothes hanging down on me. she did that, even though the whole washing cellar was empty and she knew that it was my place.....
anyway, that is a small thing. i talked today with her and told her to hang it in the middle where her machine is.
sorry for my story being long....
today i got a problem with my 2. job at the gas station, where all went really good.
we are three women there, the boss prefers only ladies from 35 on, i am the youngest, the other ladies are somewhat around 60.
no problem at all with them, cause i am nice as long as other are nice to me as well.
last week i needed to ask one of them, where i had a good connection to i thought-
if she could exchange her shift with me, cause i was being supposed at my main job and there as well. this happens at the beginning of the month, where both give me my shifts, and i work in all shifts---- nighttime, early mornings etc and they can chose for me, its never a certain one.
anyway i needed to change my shift. i asked he politely, she said its not that good, cause she needed to do something, but i should call the boss and if he says its ok then she will do it. i asked again if she is comfortable with it, which she friendly confirmed. i toldl her, that after talking to the boss, i would send her a text to let he know.
the boss was wondering, why i should ask him, he has never heard that before
i texted her yesterday and the day before, no answer, so i anyway wanted to call her, cause this shift thing was supposed to be tomorrow.
today she sent me a text at noon, that she wont do it. i called her, she didnt answer the phone.
i called the boss, he was very angry and was shouting what all this crap is about. i told him that she said yes and now no and i dont know what to do.
he called her, called me back and this women lied that she would have never told me that she would work this day!!!!
i couldnt believe and i called her. first i got the the other lady at phone, she told me very unfriendly how i beahve and didnt listen to me as i tried to tell her the truth, she ended by telling me how upset she is. i got the other lady on phone and she still stuck to that she never said it. i mean i am not earsick or something?
she also told me how angry she is with me and stuff and then just hang up. had to call the boss again, who is already overworked and stuff. angry of course, he couldnt understand all, but i guess he belived the other lady and told me, that such thing never happened before- sounded like would be the one making problems there
now, why and how did i attract that? or is it just the results of my thinking before?
is it still in me, that i am not lovable and not worth to get treated in a normal way?
REALLY THOUGHT I WAS OVER THAT, but today it showed my the opposite
that hit me and for the first time, i cried very much, couldnt believe why she is trying to get rid of me somehow, it seems like that.
my daughter came home, very bad mood, attacked me as well, so i just cried more and went to sleep where i cried myself to sleep. now i am awake again and feeling good that there is a place, where friends are listening to me and help me.
can you help me in how i can protect myself from such attacks?
i just want to live in peace, i dont do any harm to them, but i keep being attacked for no reason
thank you for listnening, it needed to be said.
sorry for typos, my keyborad is not working well