Not on facebook anymore

[lovebird]

For those of you that are my friends on facebook, -just want to tell you I have "detached myself" from facebook for a while. In case you wonder where I went...LOL I will try to stay away for a month from today, hoping it will bring me some peace of mind. The main reason is that I keep "stalking" this guy, and can't keep myself from it, and it hurts me. But there are more reasons, -I have been sick for a long time, and part of my sickness makes me rather passive and also restless and unfocused, and I try very hard to get out of that rut. I live in quite a remote area, far away from most people and facebook is the only social contact I have, sometimes for days. Sometimes a blessing, but often a distraction from other things I need to do, like packing! I'm moving, and really need to pack

I deactivated my account this morning and boy have I been productive today!  My thoughts have been detached from what used to bother me, and I'm grateful that I finally unplugged....although I WILL plug in later, in july. Hopefully I'm in a better and happier place then. And moved to a new apartment, closer to people. I will be around here from time to time, so please get in touch

[JustForToday]

hey irene, yeah i wondered where your profile went and got sad.
i can fully understand you though and the reason behind it.will miss you on the group though, but catch up on hre with a message
thanks for informing us and let us know how you are doing without FB and please stay happy and finde your inner peace 

[lovebird]

Thank you, Mel I hope you have a lovely time with your kid!! Oh, I feel bad about the group, and many of my friends, but those who know me well can call or sms me. I already informed my family, saying I need to pack and try to get organized before I move. They know I'm weird sometimes, but they don't need to be informed of the whole crazy truth haha...

I had a few days when I felt really down and depressed and it has hit me so many times that I keep hurting myself by checking his profile again and again, and lately there has been some juicy stuff going on there which I do NOT need at this time. Self-discipline, where art thou? *sigh* Obviously not present, therefore deactivation of my account.

Detachment is the word and action I need right now, and keep it that way. Oh, so sick and tired of this...I have no intention of attracting him anymore, it's just not going to happen. All I want is to enjoy life and forget the hurt, and release the feelings I have for him. And to work on my self-worth issues, I've felt dragged down, so to get them up a notch or two would be wunderbar

[Erk1982]

Holy freaking crap, islandgirl! This is such a synchronicity! I decided to do the same thing this morning in order to detach from my girl! This is just more proof that we are all connected! I've been feeling down lately and decided that this was for the best in order to get my life back on track. I've been seeing signs everywhere that I'm on the right track, so hopefully you are too! All the best! 

[Miracles Magnet]

Hey island girl, you have made the right choice!  Trust me by removing yourself from his updates, you will feel more at peace.  Instead of spending time trying to analyse every single posts on his fb. The time is better spent investing in yourself.  Really!

I did the same recently and it's been 33 days since I deactivated my acc, and I'm still counting.

All the best!

[truelove]

Hey Irene,

I understand completely. It really is a self loving gesture to take yourself away from something that is making you feel bad.
We will miss you in the group.

Tracey x

[lovebird]

Thank you for your comments, all! I'm not going to keep a diary on my fb-deactivation, but I can give a short update on how it goes from time to time. This morning I woke up dreaming I was on fb, and that he had written a looong update on mp4's (?) Go figure, that was weird....

It occured to me I might be an fb-addict.... The trouble is that even when he is NOT updating his staus, I read stuff into it. And of course, when he does it's even worse. It's like my entire world, or lack thereof, revolves around this guy, and I am fed up to my teeth with myself for it. It hurles me into depressed modes, it keeps me imprisoned, and it has to stop. I know for a fact that there are other men in this universe, and there's gotta be at least one that might actually like me, for who I am, with or without my shortcomings and faults. Preferably one that I like too Since i met this guy I have constantly examined my self-worth, and of course, when feeling rejected I wasn't worth much. And that has to end.

So I do my daily Release and let go meditations from brainsync, and oh I tried the Living prayer guided meditation last night and it brought me to tears, it was so wonderful. No, I did not pray for this guy to come into my life I walk for an hour almost every day, really power-walk, and now, finally I got into the groove with packing and sorting. Only two more weeks and the house needs to be empty, and the last month it has really given me anxiety-attacks thinking about it. Now I make things happen!

Miracles, I'm impressed! You are my inspiration!!

[lovebird]

Crazysoul and truelove, just curious: Do I show up in your friends list while I'm deactivated? Or am I just gone?

[Forever1]

Hi,  i can understand completely!   i have been doing the same also on fb, checking every time her status and profile so today i have also deactivated my account.

[lilly]

While I understand why one would want to deactivate their account in such situation and the thought occured to me too I don't think it is such a good idea as you are also closing communications with all of your other friends and making that specific guy the centre of your life and giving him so much importance that you'd isolate yourself from all of your friends online just for him and thus putting him on a pedestal.
Don't get me wrong I know how tempting it is to watch their profile and how hard it is to refrain from reading into everything they say but i think it's just best to block their feeds, or just not open facebook anymore while you can still receive messages via email. Deactivating your account for one person doesn't send a right vibe in my opinion.

Hi,  i can understand completely!   i have been doing the same also on fb, checking every time her status and profile so today i have also deactivated my account.

[lovebird]

Hi Lilly, yes I see your point and normally I would agree about sending the wrong vibes. Only now I'm on a really bad place and need to protect myself a little more than usual. That specific guy has been the center of my attention for waaaay too long and now I'm removing myself from situations where I get reminders of him. I have lots of friends who were never on facebook and they live happily without it I just thought I would try the same for a while until my depression lifts. Also my life situation in changing at the moment and who knows, maybe I will feel better when all the practical things are done....

[truelove]

Crazysoul and truelove, just curious: Do I show up in your friends list while I'm deactivated? Or am I just gone?

Islandgirl, I checked, you are still in my friends list, but there is no photo, just one of those generic fb prof pics.

[JustForToday]

While I understand why one would want to deactivate their account in such situation and the thought occured to me too I don't think it is such a good idea as you are also closing communications with all of your other friends and making that specific guy the centre of your life and giving him so much importance that you'd isolate yourself from all of your friends online just for him and thus putting him on a pedestal.
Don't get me wrong I know how tempting it is to watch their profile and how hard it is to refrain from reading into everything they say but i think it's just best to block their feeds, or just not open facebook anymore while you can still receive messages via email. Deactivating your account for one person doesn't send a right vibe in my opinion.

thank you lilly, good point! i have to agree.
it cant be good to make them to the center in our lifes, especially not when we are not the center in theirs!
really well said.

if you deactivate yur account its just the same as if you block JUST them. they will think that youre not on FB anymore and wont know if you blocked them or deactivated your account.
just deleting them would be the best solution for me. you show strength by still being on FB..... and if you still want to look at their profiles.... mostly its set to private, so that you cant see any updates etc and neither can they look whats going on in your life. it will get broing soon.
they shouldnt rule our lifes at all!

w cant stop smoking by always avoiding to see any smokers again or being around them.

[sh-boom]

its a good step, ive kept my facebook, but blocked and deleted. and also stopped myself going on any public profiles where she may post. i have no knowledge of whats been going on in her life for months now, and although i still think of her everyday, i am not punishing myself with new information that i'll only overanalyse to mean something it doesnt anyway. i feel much better for it, and you will do too

[lilly]

Actually you can see who has deactivated their account if you click on the friend folder and look up their name while blocking them looks as though you have disappeared from facebook ( unless of course they look you up from another account etc..).
I was faced with the same situation but I thought, why would I close all communications with my other friends just for him? ( why punishing my friends or myself because of him) It goes to show to him that you have not moved on and that you are still hurting and that he is more important than all of your other friends and that therefore he has power on you and your life. There are options on facebook to hide every posts you make from him if you don't want him to know what you are up to and you can hide everything he posts from his newsfeeds as well, it just requires discipline. But deactivating your account or not logging on facebook requires the same discipline in the end.
Deactivating your account feels like a tactic to provoke a reaction from him and make him wonder what you are up to but what you are doing in the end is punishing yourself and cutting yourself from everyone else.

While I understand why one would want to deactivate their account in such situation and the thought occured to me too I don't think it is such a good idea as you are also closing communications with all of your other friends and making that specific guy the centre of your life and giving him so much importance that you'd isolate yourself from all of your friends online just for him and thus putting him on a pedestal.
Don't get me wrong I know how tempting it is to watch their profile and how hard it is to refrain from reading into everything they say but i think it's just best to block their feeds, or just not open facebook anymore while you can still receive messages via email. Deactivating your account for one person doesn't send a right vibe in my opinion.

thank you lilly, good point! i have to agree.
it cant be good to make them to the center in our lifes, especially not when we are not the center in theirs!
really well said.

if you deactivate yur account its just the same as if you block JUST them. they will think that youre not on FB anymore and wont know if you blocked them or deactivated your account.
just deleting them would be the best solution for me. you show strength by still being on FB..... and if you still want to look at their profiles.... mostly its set to private, so that you cant see any updates etc and neither can they look whats going on in your life. it will get broing soon.
they shouldnt rule our lifes at all!

w cant stop smoking by always avoiding to see any smokers again or being around them.