Can't believe I'm crying!!!

[def]

Thanks Tereza none of this is irrelevant. I may be 28 but sometimes I can act like a 16 year old girl. Yes I think I am never going to loan money again. If I am giving it, so be it and if they want to repay that so be it. It doesn't even mean they have to repay it back to me.

Ah. So can you see why the conversation went the way it did? It doesn't sound like you tried to talk to him from a place of caring or love. 

Yes you're right even with all I've learnt I can still make mistakes and if I had come from a place of love I wouldn't have even sent it. I think that is why I was so hurt because it was a mirror of my own intention.

Think about it, if you had an ex that you dumped and hurt and you still had pretty strong feelings about them, but were afraid to talk to them for whatever reason and they all of a sudden contacted you about getting their stuff back and getting their money back.
Wouldn't you feel horrible? I mean, if I were him I'd be thinking wow. She wants to get rid of all reminders of me and all she cares about is getting her money back. I'd feel awful. His response sounds like he was just trying to hurt you...just like you hurt him.

You are so right I think that is why i'm a little teary now. Maybe I am not as over the relationship as I thought so upon much reflection I think there is more work for me to do on myself. I was trying to attract him but I just wanted to prove somehow that I had moved on but if I really had I wouldn't feel like I had anything to prove. Thanks Tereza for some hard love.

[vanessa202]

im so sorry that happened to you and am sending some love your way.
the good news is it seams the universe is looking out for you and showing what a loser this guy is, and now you can see it, ur move on to find that perfect soulmate. One who will never hurt you and who will love you always.
many blessings your way and your better journey to happiness xx

[Barnowl]

This has really touched me, because I can relate...

Keep your faith and keep meditating (that helped me loads...) you will find another person (if that is your desire)

'always keep believing '

[def]

Thank you Vanessa202 and Barnowl for your blessings  . I have gathered so much strength from everyone's love and positive vibes.

I think this was a wakeup call to get past whatever my blocks are the pain of the past and raise my standards. But since we all believe in the law of attraction then the following story will explain why I thought he was the one and we were engaged.

I firmly believe in energy so I have to change mine.

[def]

I was attracting him to me if that was the best outcome. I was also working towards attracting another soulmate as I found in another article. Years ago as a child I put out to the universe a lot of things that really mattered to me and as I forgot them they all came to me. I asked for a brother my mum couldn't have boys but by some miracle my little brother was born and I pretty much bought him up unless I was at school or work.

I also put out there that I would find some great love and that he would be my first everything. I wanted a knight to come save me. We would get engaged, married, have kids. Now when I met him I felt his energy wasn't particularly drawn to him but because everyone told me not to, I was defiant. Oneday as we were getting to know each other I looked into his eyes and I saw sadness but I also saw pure love like right there. I thought I could bring it out and I saw glimpses of it. I did it the last time I saw him too and I could see he still loved me even though he had broken up with me.  Anyway he loves the username “knighthawk“ why I don't know and even though everyone else thought total mismatch we were together for nearly 4 years. He said I would never know how much he loves me, and I guess I won't.

[tereza]

Def, I really recommend that you read "The Law of Attraction" by Michael Losier. It's a super easy read and there's a link somewhere to a free download.

Also read this:
http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/law-of-attraction-for-relationship-6/for-us-all/msg35545/#msg35545

He said I would never know how much he loves me, and I guess I won't.

This is something that I see from time to time on this forum and while I can understand the sentiment (I've been there before too), it does get a bit um...frustrating.  I mean, what you think becomes reality. So instead of focusing on your current reality, how about moving onto a different reality? How about thinking about things the way you want them? Do the same thing you did to manifest your brother. I mean, did it matter if your mom couldn't have boys? No! You wanted a brother and look what happened!

Also, seriously, read the Michael Losier book. He's got a great section in there about words like "never" and explains how the LoA basically doesn't hear junk like that.

[def]

Thanks Tereza, I know exactly what I did to get my brother. I did what features on the forum here. I made a wish with all the love in my heart to have a brother before I went to sleep. I didn't worry or doubt, no fears and went on with my life and at the age of 13 he was born. I think I was 8 when I made that wish. He even resembles me so much. He is 15 now and every now and then he tries to look after me even when he was a toddler he still tried. I made both those wishes at the same time but my brother came so much quicker I didn't meet my first love until I was 25. I am so grateful for your advice Tereza.