All Is Well

[truelove]

Hi Vicky, I feel like this is a question that resonates with me too...

"With the guy, when he calls and texts -do you allow the connection???   I found that was part of my issue with the LOA and the relationship - ALLOW!"

How do I know if I am allowing?? I want and ask for him to call, he does, I love talking to him and I am happy to talk to him, we do stuff together and hang out, but it never goes to the next level.

Are there any practical tips you could give me to allow the next step? I feel there is something there, but there is also this invisible wall between us... any help?

Sorry to hijack your thread Tereza!! 

[ipanema]

I did some very successful scripting using format from Michael Losier's book, The Law of Attraction.   I second that motion! 

Also don't want to hijack Tereza's thread but Vicki Christina, would you be able to elaborate? This sounds very exciting!! Thank you!

[Vicki Christina]

truelove, 

Well allowing is difficult as we are programmed to protect our hearts.  We have to become venerable and open to feelings.   Men do like feelings even though we are programmed to think they do not like to go there.  I sent love all of the time, and there was so much to work through. But finally my openness was just what he wanted. 
 
If you two talk and hang out then what stops more from happening?    Do you shut down or send out vibes of protection?   If he has walls up then you have to wait for and use the opportunities to show unconditional love and acceptance.

[Vicki Christina]

The book has different ways to write affirmations.  He has work pages with instructions - very simply written.  I gave my book to a friend.   It is an easy read!

[truelove]

Thank you Vicky, yes, I am very protective of my heart. I don't express my feelings at all when i like someone, I wait for them to take the lead.. I am fearful of making a fool of myself and getting hurt. Hmmm, I really need to work on this 

[JustForToday]

yes i guess thats right again truelove, we have to work on that.
did you try once to make the step further?
i mean it is obvious that you like and enjoy each other?

[truelove]

yes i guess thats right again truelove, we have to work on that.
did you try once to make the step further?
i mean it is obvious that you like and enjoy each other?

Yes, I really do have to work on this and I would love help 

I did try and take it a step further once, and I know you know my story, we had that first wonderful day together. The second time we met he asked me over to his place, he kept his distance. We were watching a movie, I moved over to him and put my head on his shoulder, and he didn't move a muscle, he just kind of froze.. after a few minutes I took my head away and I have never tried anything again since...

Sorry again tereza.. i should start my own thread.

New thread... 

http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/law-of-attraction-for-relationship-6/healing-my-heart/msg51262/?topicseen#new

[truelove]

How was the malibu?   

[tereza]

How was the malibu?   

lol

I ended up finishing my laundry instead of buying something to drink. I also ate spoonfuls of nutella and finished off the rest of the jar. It was kind of gross, though it started out delicious. 

And wow. Thank you everyone!

As for your fella, it still sounds like you're both tip toeing around waiting for the other to be a bit more obvious and state what they want. I know youve said you want him to be the one to take the lead and that's fair enough but if that's still the case then it's a case of being a bit patient. ( I don't like being patient- it's kind of dull lol )

None of these things would be so bad by the sounds of it, if you had you're friends nearby to offload too. So maybe getting out and meeting people is the way to go? What do you like to do? Could you meet people that way? What about the guy at the church? Do they have a hall that run events etc? I dont mean religious events - our church hall has things from zumba to AA meetings! Or your local paper.

Yeah, I think that's what pushed me over the edge yesterday. Looking back on what happened, it's all stupid small stuff, but I don't really have the support system I used to have and the people I usually vent to, have been impossible to get in touch with. So the stress has just been building up. I think I might try the meetup thing or sign up for some sort of classes. I also picked up a local paper to see what's going on in the area.

As for the guy, I've been getting signs that are telling me to talk to him or let him know what I'm thinking (got an email the other day from a travel blog, telling me that there's a letter I need to write  ). But I feel like the timing isn't right yet, especially with the break down yesterday. I definitely want a relationship, but I'm worried that I might rely too much on him for support when I should be out making friends.

With the guy, when he calls and texts -do you allow the connection???   I found that was part of my issue with the LOA and the relationship - ALLOW! 

Ah this part is a bit difficult for me as I'm not really sure what's "allowing". I think I am, but I'm not sure. Like if he contacts me and I'm there, I'll talk with him. Also, recently I've started contacting him on my own, so that he knows that I'm not hiding from him. Though when I'm around him in person, I am a bit shy about getting too close.  A couple of times, I was about to touch him on the arm while talking to him, but then I would stop myself. But then, maybe I'm forcing things a bit? Like last week I mentioned I had the weekend off and since he was on Spring Break, I was hoping he'd suggest meeting up, but nothing. Similar thing happened this weekend.

I'm starting to think that another part of the problem is that the timing is just crappy. He has free time in the mornings and classes at night, I work in the mornings and have free time at night. I'm usually pretty flexible with my schedule, but I've been working so many hours, I'm a bit desperate for some alone time. Maybe he's picking up on that too?

Anyway, I'm going to check out Michael Losier and try out the scripting.

I will chant for you. Hope that helps, and if you need someone to talk to, please feel free to message me

I'm going to try out the debriefing process and maybe start a new thread for that. I'm realizing that I don't really keep track of all the good things. This morning, I looked at my income from 2009 and my income from 2011 (2010 doesn't count as that was a time of transition). I made a couple hundred dollars more in 2011, which is kind of a big deal as I worked less hours at my job and also took a pay cut. So I am getting closer to my goal of working less hours and making more money.

Also, thank you for chanting for me. I think that may have helped last night as I was feeling a lot less miserable. Also, right before I was about to sleep, my guy sent me a text message to apologize for not responding sooner and then we chatted a little bit about some stuff that was kind of personal to him. It was nice.

Oh and Truelove and Ipanema, thank you for hijacking my thread! Those were questions I was going to ask, but now I don't have to!

edit:

Oh my gosh! One last thing to add to this massive wall of text...
I think I am blocking things and not allowing. So yesterday, I was chatting online with my guy about random stuff. He starts talking about how it's great that I have St. Patrick's day off and that even though it'll be super crowded (which we both hate), he thinks it'll be awesome to go out. I got uncomfortable with that because I don't like large crowds and didn't want to go out.  So I told him I would be right back so that I could put my laundry in the dryer...which is when I got locked out of my apartment. Now if I hadn't been so antsy to get out of that conversation, I probably would've remembered my keys and avoided all that drama. Also, he probably thought I was avoiding him since I never came back to chat with him. Geez louise! I need to work on this allowing stuff.

[truelove]

 "I ended up finishing my laundry instead of buying something to drink. I also ate spoonfuls of nutella and finished off the rest of the jar. It was kind of gross, though it started out delicious."

Haha! you're awesome. 

Anyway, freaking heck.. so all of that happened because you were running away from your guy? (Man, we are so the same). We gotta sort out this allowing stuff!

You sound so much better today, I'm happy about that. Making new friends is a great idea, it will help you feel settled and not reliant on your guy...

So what is the fear? Is it commitment? Is it fear of getting close, or hurt? Once you recognise what you are tryng to protect yourself from you can release it.. knowledge is power 

[JustForToday]

i agree truelove


tereza---

Also, he probably thought I was avoiding him since I never came back to chat with him. Geez louise! I need to work on this allowing stuff.

you should do that, i agree!!!

and tracey, we just talked about that 

give them a sign! a sign of being interested 

[tereza]

LOL

Yeah, I got locked out of my apartment because I was basically running away from him. It sounds so ridiculous, but that's exactly what happened. Ugh! I don't know why I reacted that way. I think the main fear was just being in a crowded pub and not being able to hear him and then as a result coming across as rude because I'll zone out when I can't hear. Also, I'm a bit shy, so being around all those people and him expecting me to mingle with them...terrifying! Though, if he had asked me out, I could've just suggested we meet up another day or go somewhere quiet. Why that possibility didn't come to me sooner...I don't know.

Maybe I'm just afraid of looking like an idiot?

give them a sign! a sign of being interested 

Yeah, I think I need to work on that too. 

[JustForToday]

yep, i meant you both 

i will always remember you two from now on to set signs!!! LOL

[JustForToday]

Thank you Vicky, yes, I am very protective of my heart. I don't express my feelings at all when i like someone, I wait for them to take the lead.. I am fearful of making a fool of myself and getting hurt. Hmmm, I really need to work on this 

tereza and tracey,
hey, no one makes himself a fool by just giving a signal of liking in the right time! there is a need somehow to express feelings to the person you like.... dont be afraid of getting hurt... you know why! 

[tereza]

Kind of an Update:

So I went and read the "Law of Attraction" by Michael Losier and I have to say that I like it waaaaaaaaaay better than "The Secret". I think it explains the LoA clearly and I like how it explains how to use it in a simple and easy to understand way. It was also a good reminder to stop slacking with my thoughts, which to be honest, that's what I've been doing.  Also, I finally get what "Allowing" means. It means to stop having doubts. The doubts are what block or slow down manifestations. Which as you can see in my past few pages about this relationship, I've been doing a lot of doubting.

So to help get rid of doubts, I've went and started writing down all my successes and the little signs pointing to my manifestations coming true. A recent good sign was that after talking with him about how stressed I had been (he had no clue how bad I had been feeling), he sent me an email later on with a link to cheer me up. Then today while on instant messenger the first thing he asked was if I was feeling better and tried to share some advice on improving things...which I had already received on here (thank you! )

The only downer, which I think is a result of my past thinking, was that at the end of our chat, he said that we could continue the conversation the next time "we're online". I know things are improving as we've been talking to each other almost daily and he's sharing a bit more personal stuff, but I've been here almost 2 months and I've only seen him twice. I guess that's an example of contrast? Instead of him suggesting we talk more online, I would much rather he suggest that we continue the conversation in person over some drinks Thursday night.  But whatever, it's not a big deal. It's not like I could've gone out that night anyway.