Why will she not talk to me?

[Magdog, MD, Mr. Best Luck]

I do not understand this, can anyone offer opinions on this, this is the part that really still bothers me. Maybe its control or fear on her part. This breaks my heart.

[Vicki Christina]

My Honey has not been talking to me either.   I have not tried to call him; he called me last.  But I am pretty sure he is still tight with the other woman.   His daughter called today to just say hello and was I still planning to get in a visit with her over the Christmas holiday.   It is painful, but I will do it.   

Why do they not talk to us - possible reasons???   It is painful for them.   The other person who they see would get mad if they found out.   They would feel guilty about the other relationship.   They fear their feelings.  They feel guilty for ending the relationship.    They fear anger from us.   They do not want to lead us on.   They feel confusion.  They fear conflict.  They are afraid the relationship would just be a redo again.  They are angry at us.   The do not have forgiveness. 

I am sorry it is painful and distressing when we are trying so hard to make improvements on our side which we feel would help the relationship if we got another chance.   Keep your chin up.  I know there are days though when we need to feel sorrow again, before getting to a new step in the process of letting go.   One thing is sure – feeling the pain and acknowledging it when it surfaces is necessary and not a sign of weakness or backsliding.

[schenderson22]

It's simple.  She isn't ready.  In my opinion, your level of obsessiveness is not allowing you to let go.  Your constant thought of her is not letting go.  Keep focusing on making yourself happy.  Things will turn around when you and her are truly ready.

[HelpingitHappen]

mag,

Schenderson is right, When the time is right, there will be a situation come up that allows you two to see each other, get caught up and spark a new attraction.
Don't worry about it, letting go is the hardest thing to do, but it is a must.
Time, patience and self love, will get you to that point.

Its already in the cards!
Peace and Love,
BW

[Marianna9351]

It's simple.  She isn't ready.  In my opinion, your level of obsessiveness is not allowing you to let go.  Your constant thought of her is not letting go.  Keep focusing on making yourself happy.  Things will turn around when you and her are truly ready.

I agree.  Once the obsession goes away, that is when you get what you want.  I remember obsessing getting in contact with a customer at my work.  I wanted to clarify something he said to me.  It literally ate me alive. I told everyone in my office that if he came to tell him to come see me.  He came and everyone forgot.  I got more frustrated and then finally when I let go(was not desperate to see him again), there he was in front of my desk saying'hey stranger'.  I all most fainted.  Another time I failed to express interest in a guy who said he was interested.   I regretted it so much.  Then when I finally let go(man it took a long time for me to do this), he popped back after one year of no contact and I had a second chance.  Letting go is vital for manifestation.  It is tough to do, but in the end you get the prize.

[Magdog, MD, Mr. Best Luck]

People trust me I am letting go, but it still hurts, I just do not understand is all. That is what I told her on the phone the day we spoke, how can 2 people so close not even talk. We where in each others life day in and day out. It overcame me today. I think I am clearing. I had dreams of her all week this week with her resisting me, but isn't love to a certain degree an obsession, but a healthy one. I have given her so much space, I have never been this inactive in a pursuit of something I wanted, but I am letting go, I'm dating and really working on me. But that part of me is not the majority anymore, but it hurts, lately more than in recent time. Funny thing thou, whenever I do hurt like this is when I get a sign, something happens, a phone call. Her friend invited me out the night I was really singing the blues, lol. I just had to get it off my chest today. And I know I have to let go, and I am really happy in every part of my life, except there, and actually I am happy to a point she is happy or doing well, just wish it was with me, lol. I truly unconditionally love her. So I said my peace. 

[Vicki Christina]

Well even in the process of letting go there are feelings and memories which have to be dealt with.  Sometimes I think you are right, when we least expect a sign or contact – then there is one.  Umm,  I always feel it came from a moment of detachment!    Your unconditional love will be felt by her eventually.   

[LeyLine]

Magdog...ive been watching your posts. i think that you are trying SO HARD to attract your girl, searching always for new ways of cleansing etc....that the only thing you do attract....is more effort. The more effort you put in that, the more of that situation that makes you try you will attract. The only way to see results, is to let go, i think. Let go of your need to have her back...let go of your need to always seek new ways to make this happen.

[Magdog, MD, Mr. Best Luck]

Not really, I do everything for me first, and do I have determination and focus, energy when I do something yes. I had lyme disease which honestly would not have been healed if it was not for the breakup. The process of trying to cleanse myself emotionally has actually cured the disease, the enlightenment, etc, has allow my body to do what it needs to do. I moved to California, after we broke up to live here because I always wanted too, and because of her. The climate has done wonders for me. This breakup gave me a new lease on life, new perspective, and taught me so much. I just had a day that I really missed her. Even when I was with her, there would be days I would want to talk to her, etc, and we would. My issue is the logic of not being able to talk, and why, it hurts. Has nothing to do with the want, it has to be to missing that person in your life, as if you had a friend you do not talk to anymore, a loved one that past, its not always desperation, I think everyone has a certain love energy, and I miss hers it was a connect. I know she still  feels it, I am very psychic in nature, many times I feel things or people or events and they occur. I still feel her love, and I am frustrated why she blocks it.

[HelpingitHappen]

Magdog,

I think it is similar to my situation as to why she won't, or doesn't talk.
Like my ex, I think that she is feeling many things regarding the break up, or your relationship with her in general.
My opinion is that she may find it easier to cope if she makes no effort to talk with you.
In my situation I know that this is the case. I feel like she is trying to move on and not to reopen the possibility of rekindling the relationship.
People often find it easier, more comfortable, if they just sweep the feelings they have, "under the rug" as it were.
They feel like as time passes, the feelings in them will settle down and not be so hard for them to deal with, and in general, they are right.
It has been my experience though, that those feelings always surface again sometime in the future, and it tends to draw them towards the person once again.
This is one reason why I think that the letting go has to complete. All the want and need, all the feelings and desires you feel now, must be a thing of the past. First, to regain happiness. Second, so that the Universe can create the situation (opportunity) that draws the two of you together.
In short, because of the feelings they really have, (your ex and mine) they believe that by ignoring us, they can more easily move on and regain their own happiness.
The problem with that for them, is that while they think they have closure, they really don't and the book remains open for them to carry around with them until they, themselves do something about it. Most will not do anything about it, they will just allow it to affect their future relationships for the worse.
That is what the baggage is that people carry around with them and carry it into the next relationship, and any and all that come after.
It is a recipe for future failures for them, and its the same recipe for us if we don't completely and utterly put them in our past.

Peace and Love,
BW

[Vicki Christina]

How do we get closure?     That is the next question.

[Magdog, MD, Mr. Best Luck]

You let go I guess

[JonP5]

Magdog, I am going to give you my opinion, based on my current situation.

I have not spoken to my "ex" in over three months.  I have made no effort to reach out, and neither has she.  I am not reaching out because I am in the process of improving myself, and working on the way i think.  If I ever do decide to reach out, it wont be until I have let go of the worry and feel positive.  Or, as Jerry and Esther Hicks put it....I won't reach out until I am in the 'Vortex"

I figure that she won't reach out to me for several reasons.  It may be because she feels bad about what happened between us, and is afraid to deal with it.  It may be because she is in pretty heavy with this new guy, and has genuinely moved on from me.  It may be because she is the type that does not like to chase, and expects me to do all the work.  It could be a little of all the above.

One thing is for sure, I am getting to the point where I do not want to be concerned with what she is doing, or who wit who.  I  tell myself that if I have the right mindset, and she is meant to be in my life, it will happen that way.  If not, then there is someone out there better for me.

So basically, I wouldn't worry too much about her not reaching out to you.  Just work on being happy and positve. 

[Magdog, MD, Mr. Best Luck]

That is what I am doing, but we all have the moments of missing them, she had one a month or so ago, when she invited me out to say she was not ready to see me. I know this hurts her, just feel it in my bones, that is not obsession, I knew when some in the past it was done, they did not care. I had one come see me after 23 years and was thinking of leaving her husband, her idea not mine. Another after 7 years the same thing, but neither did I want, I was done. This one I feel the vibration, isn't this what it is all about? I have improved as a person 10 fold since the break. Thank you all for your insight.

[loveofabundance]

This reply may appear quite prideful initially.    Please bear with me because I do have some recent insight I'd like to share. 
 
I am loving this thread!  I can participate in this thread with ease!  I feel comfortable revealing a little bit more of myself in this thread!
 
First of all, I just got asked out on my first date since letting go.  Now, this invitation is significant to me symbolically, and I will explain why.
 
What people notice about me first is that I'm physically beautiful.  This has caused a deep insecurity in me that I'm only now learning to let go.  Next, they notice that I have a sharp intellect.  This has gone well for me, but coupled with appearance, it made me feel insecure, as well.  Third, they realize that I am a major sweetie pie.  This goes well on all levels.  Fourth, they recognize that I am a crazy, quirky guru girl!    This goes really well with everybody, including myself.
 
My point is not to brag about myself, although,
 
I am an extraordinary human being!    
 
See, my physical beauty is so appealing to others, has been from the time I was little, that I chose to base a lot of my sense of self-worth on my appearance.  I felt that my appearance was a free pass to walk among good, decent folk, even though I was so different, difficult, awkward, dark, quirky, combative, geeky - basically, Complex, Little Me.
 
I felt like who I was within was less than everyone else and that I'd been given looks to compensate for my inherent unworthiness.  I dont know where I'd be right now if I hadn't been surrounded by so many loving people.  Well, actually, I'd probably be selling my body, making a ton of cash, and feeling empty inside.
 
Anyway, in college, I would laugh because the most times that guys would chat me up was when I was in sweat pants, hair in pony-tail, no makeup, geeky glasses on.  Truly, when I get dressed up, I'm quite lovely!  But, I attracted most men when I was dressed way down.
 
Well, tonight, I'm dressed way down and I got asked out on a date by someone who is at least slightly aware that I'm kooky.  This, to me, is a sign from Higher Self that I'm loveable exactly as I am.  I'm in a space where I agree with that!
 
See, when you get dumped, or dump due to neglect by the other towards you, it's easy to feel as if you did something wrong, and somehow made yourself unloveable in some way.  But, you didn't.  Your sweet soul is truly loved by all of Creation, even your perceived enemies.
 
Letting go is accepting the fact that love is endlessly, steadily flowing to you from all directions.  There is only love in this world of our collaborative Creation!
 
I want to end this reply to thisMAGdogNIFICENTpost with these words, addressed personally to ALL sentient beings:
You are extraordinary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!