What I have attracted...would like some opinions

[gogetter]

Hello all

I am trying to stay in a positive place. Still reeling from the loss of my LAST friend...the one friend I believed to be true to me and who would never let me down. Since losing her, it has come to light that all the things I revealed to her about my interpretation of "signs" and "synchronicities" and the strange LOA stuff happening with the minor celeb I have written about on here, stuff she encouraged me with and I felt she understood me about, she now has told a professional that I should be looked at for my kids sakes. I should be helped as she believes I have some sort of personality disorder or mental instability, stalking problems, etc. All this time, this is what MY FRIEND, the person I entrusted my deepest feelings and secrets to, has been viewing me as MENTAL. So basically I was right about all my fears on how she was feeling towards me and when I brought these fears up to her and confronted her about it, she freaked out on me and shut the door firmly on the friendship, claiming I had insulted her with my paranoia.

It has been tough, and I worry that my own fears about how she really felt about me (based on observations on her reactions to me over different matters) actually ATTRACTED her to be exactly what I was afraid of. Does that make sense? Although I honestly did try and squash these worries most of the time…

Since I have had people on this very board suggest to me that maybe I do have mental issues and do need to seek help, I am not sure if I will receive the type of support I am looking for on here. I do NOT believe I have any mental problems at all. I get very pissed off and angry at anyone who treats me or my problems without love, kindness or compassion because I would never be so nasty to anyone else!

Anyway, during this difficult time with this now ex-friend, I had been introduced through friends, to a new friend. A male friend who is making it very clear he has intentions romantically towards me. Now, here is the interesting LOA aspect…on my vision board I have a pic of the mini-celeb that I adore. This new man who has entered my life shares many of the qualities of this celeb. It is very strange. Same age…very close birthdays…same musical tastes…same love of nature which shows in their actions and words…same life outlooks..etc. Although a big part of me wanted to truly attract the real celeb man, I often justified that not being able to happen by telling myself, oh well, at least his pic being there on my board serves as a prototype for the man I actually hope to meet! And I wonder if that doubt of actually getting the real celeb, has perhaps drawn this semi-similar man to me?

I feel no spark towards this new man but he has become a very tight friend. We talk on the phone every day now and when I first met him, my ex-friend actually warned me to not bother with him. She said he sounded like bad news and I should steer clear. Yet now she is out of my life, he has taken center stage as my new best friend basically.

The thing that my friend did not like about him, and something I do not like either, is the fact that he is on heavy meds from a crippling disability. Mobility issues due to a bone disease. He takes a lot of narcotics every day to stop the pain and also is on medical marijuana. He recently went to Brazil on a lengthy trip (also strange...my celeb crush is also part Brazilian and had been mentioninghis Brazilian culture alot lately more than usual) when he was left some money from a death in his family and he was on a tour bus, etc, and hobbled along with his walker. Yet my ex-friend felt that was fishy, that he could go travel and go hobble to the stores and stuff yet could not have a job. I do believe he is in great pain but I do not like that he is content to stay on all the drugs and just live his life the way he is. It would make me see him differently if I saw him TRYING to find some sort of work/passion to follow or be constantly investigating other means of pain relief besides pot and painkillers. I have made it clear I can’t be anything but friends so long as he stays as he is. That makes me feel so judgemental and almost wrong but I can’t help how I feel. And I do super like talking to him, as a friend. He has picked up some very lonely pieces of my life and helped me so much. He is kind and compassionate and we have a lot in common.

I just wonder if anyone has any thoughts they would like to share on this situation….regarding how my friend turned out to feel about me being mental and about drawing this new friend to me and his similarities to the celeb on my visionboard (other than the being disabled part).

[lise]

I think you could be right about the new man/ celeb - it could be that the celeb had certain characterisitcs / qualities that you are attracted to and so the new man sharing these would be equally attractive to you. I don't think it matters that much as long the one you end up with has the qualities that you like and find attractive. You know how you feel about these things - on one hand it doesn't matter too much what other people think - it can appear great in theory but if you're not feeling it then what do they know you. On the other hand a million people can not find someone attractive but there can be just something about them that does it for you.

Re his lifestyle - again only you know what are deal breakers for you. It's one thing illegal drugs but another pain medication for a debilitating illness. I think it comes down to do you want him to behave in a certain way because it's the way you'd do things? It's difficult sometimes to see things through other peoples eyes but we can't expect people to behave in a certain way because it's the way we would in the same situation.  However if it makes you unhappy what he does - that's your choice not to persue the situation. Put it this way, how happy would you be to have him ask you to change the way you do things to suit him? Why not just play it by ear and see how things pan out? You say " He is kind and compassionate and we have a lot in common. " so like attracts like so your kindness and compassion has attracted him. enjoy it.

As for the ex friend - try (easier said than done I know) to put it behind you. Trying to work out why she did and said such contradictory thing will just leave you drained emotionally . I know before now I've thought why why why? about things - but ultimatley you may never know so you just to let it go or it simply becomes more painful.

[Detached&Allowing]

First and foremost, you aren't crazy.  Discussing one's understanding of LOA is very similar to discussing religion.  It frightens people to that we have that much control over what happens in our lives.  If they are heavy into religion, it will often completely freak them out b/c it goes against all that they believe.

Hello all

I am trying to stay in a positive place. Still reeling from the loss of my LAST friend...the one friend I believed to be true to me and who would never let me down. Since losing her, it has come to light that all the things I revealed to her about my interpretation of "signs" and "synchronicities" and the strange LOA stuff happening with the minor celeb I have written about on here, stuff she encouraged me with and I felt she understood me about, she now has told a professional that I should be looked at for my kids sakes. I should be helped as she believes I have some sort of personality disorder or mental instability, stalking problems, etc. All this time, this is what MY FRIEND, the person I entrusted my deepest feelings and secrets to, has been viewing me as MENTAL. So basically I was right about all my fears on how she was feeling towards me and when I brought these fears up to her and confronted her about it, she freaked out on me and shut the door firmly on the friendship, claiming I had insulted her with my paranoia. You aren't paranoid and should take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings.  However, you may also want to consider that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.  While you may not be able to see it right away, it ALWAYS does.   

It has been tough, and I worry that my own fears about how she really felt about me (based on observations on her reactions to me over different matters) actually ATTRACTED her to be exactly what I was afraid of. Does that make sense?  absolutely!  You did attract it.  However, if you recognize that, then you can be more aware of your thoughts and feelings.  You can be more proactive in changing your negative thoughts into positive ones.Although I honestly did try and squash these worries most of the time…There could be a reason why it needed to be this way.  She sounds like she wasn't a positive attribute to your life. 

Since I have had people on this very board suggest to me that maybe I do have mental issues and do need to seek help, I am not sure if I will receive the type of support I am looking for on here. I do NOT believe I have any mental problems at all. I don't believe you have mental issues.  You get angry b/c you have a slight fear that it may be true.  Using EFT and the Sedona method will help you work through these fears.I get very pissed off and angry at anyone who treats me or my problems without love, kindness or compassion because I would never be so nasty to anyone else! One thing I have learned is never say "never".  It will always bite you in the butt.   

Anyway, during this difficult time with this now ex-friend, I had been introduced through friends, to a new friend. A male friend who is making it very clear he has intentions romantically towards me. Now, here is the interesting LOA aspect…on my vision board I have a pic of the mini-celeb that I adore. This new man who has entered my life shares many of the qualities of this celeb. It is very strange. Same age…very close birthdays…same musical tastes…same love of nature which shows in their actions and words…same life outlooks..etc. Although a big part of me wanted to truly attract the real celeb man, I often justified that not being able to happen by telling myself, oh well, at least his pic being there on my board serves as a prototype for the man I actually hope to meet! And I wonder if that doubt of actually getting the real celeb, has perhaps drawn this semi-similar man to me? I agree with Lise's thoughts about this man.

I feel no spark towards this new man but he has become a very tight friend. We talk on the phone every day now and when I first met him, my ex-friend actually warned me to not bother with him. She said he sounded like bad news and I should steer clear. Yet now she is out of my life, he has taken center stage as my new best friend basically.

The thing that my friend did not like about him, and something I do not like either, is the fact that he is on heavy meds from a crippling disability. Mobility issues due to a bone disease. He takes a lot of narcotics every day to stop the pain and also is on medical marijuana. He recently went to Brazil on a lengthy trip (also strange...my celeb crush is also part Brazilian and had been mentioninghis Brazilian culture alot lately more than usual) when he was left some money from a death in his family and he was on a tour bus, etc, and hobbled along with his walker. Yet my ex-friend felt that was fishy, that he could go travel and go hobble to the stores and stuff yet could not have a job. I do believe he is in great pain but I do not like that he is content to stay on all the drugs and just live his life the way he is. It would make me see him differently if I saw him TRYING to find some sort of work/passion to follow or be constantly investigating other means of pain relief besides pot and painkillers. I have made it clear I can’t be anything but friends so long as he stays as he is. That makes me feel so judgemental and almost wrong but I can’t help how I feel. Not judgmental.  You have a moral belief system that you want to stick to.  As you should.  My fiancee used to drink excessively.  I didn't realize how bad it was til we moved in together.  I was able to change his behavior through my gratitude lists, forgiving his behavior that aggravated and scared me.  I continue to be grateful for his sobriety.  He has done a complete 180 since we moved in together.  I am soooooo grateful!! And I do super like talking to him, as a friend. He has picked up some very lonely pieces of my life and helped me so much. He is kind and compassionate and we have a lot in common. Be grateful for that.     Also, you may want to consider forgiving your friend.  Forgive her in your heart and move on. 

I just wonder if anyone has any thoughts they would like to share on this situation….regarding how my friend turned out to feel about me being mental and about drawing this new friend to me and his similarities to the celeb on my visionboard (other than the being disabled part).

[Ginny]

I don't have much to add to what lise and schenderson have said, but I'm glad you've found a good friend.


Small steps, and it really does get better and better.


I hesitate to say this, but will take a chance in the hopes it might help. You've expressed some frustration about people suggesting you have a mental illness. Mental illness is nothing more to be ashamed of than cancer  or pneumonia. I have suffered with mental illness (extreme depression, where I could not get out of bed for days. And once seriously thought of killing myself. By which I mean, thought I could actually go through with it - I'd thought of it many times but always concluded that I was too scared of death to do it - but there was one time when the pain I felt actually outweighed the fear).


I only mention that because I think you shouldn't be too concerned about judgements or labels. You need to find what works for you, and ways that you can be happy. LOA seems to have cured me of a lifetime of depression. And I mean a lifetime (I can actually recall having suicidal thoughts at the age of 6. My mother was drunk and screaming at me about what a horrible child I was and how much she hated me and wished I'd never been born, and I started thinking about this poisonous plant that was growing in our back yard, how I could eat it and I'd never have to listen to the screaming and ranting again). And now, almost 40 years later, I am finally learning how to be happy.


I just wanted to say that, so you know that it can happen. Focus on what makes you feel good, happy, calm, at peace - and bit by bit things will get better.

[Priestess]

Ginny, I am so glad for you that you made it to this day and succeeded in defeating your depression!! a story with such old roots... it's so great that you had the power and will to sort it out and claim back your true self!

Now, Gogetter, I relate so much to your post... it doesn't sound at all like being mental... 

I get very pissed off and angry at anyone who treats me or my problems without love, kindness or compassion because I would never be so nasty to anyone else!

I was like this most of the time, too. "If I can be like this, then anyone can". It still disappoints me very much when people do not offer these things though they get them... but I guess such situations teach us how we have to expect nothing in return. Love has to be unconditional after all. Let's try to be grateful for the fact that we're able to treat them kindly.... we'll feel better and maybe the rest will follow.
I have lost a lot of good friends but I realize it wasn't always my choice. Sure, the human nature makes us feel hurt and upset when others behave like that... What can one do when another is not strong enough or enlightened enough to offer kindness, love and forgiveness at his turn....

[Sweet Spirit]

@Ginny. You're right. having a mental disorder is nothing to be ashamed of. I was on prozac for a while and when I asked the doctor if it was common, she stated (jokingly) that "half the world is on some type of an anti-depressant and the other half probably should be."
With all the stress and pressures placed on society these days it is no wonder that the people of the world need something to help them cope. Besides that,  it is a chemical imbalance in the brain that brings on deeper depression. I found however that I can control my depression with what I know about LOA and positive feelings. Before going on prozac,  I would have fits of rage periodically and states of depression at other times. Then sometimes I would be really happy. Almost like Bi-polar or something, but most of the time I was just plain negative even though the rage and depression only happened occasionally.The thing that made me seek help was the time that I tried to kill myself. Then I got a divorce and I lost my ex husband's insurance and had to stop taking the prozac. Besides that, the unhappy marriage was the main contributor to my stress and depression and once that was over, I was a little better but I still have a slight chemical imbalance. I think now, I suffer more from anxiety than anything else.

I believe however that I have gotten even better because of this forum and what I have learned about LOA  loving and forgiving myself. For the first time in my life I am EXCITED to be alive!!!!
                         
                     

[Priestess]

Sweet Spirit, that's so uplifting to hear! the healing part, i mean! how low we can descend... I had only part of your troubles and I can only imagine how it's ben like for you... this story can give much hope to those in suffering.

Hmm, nice how this forum reminds me of things I did in my past  since celebrities were mentioned...
1. When I was a teenager, I had a crush on a celebrity (he was pretty big at that time); he was from far away and very hard to get around. Yet I fancied him so much and did so much visualizing, that after some years I was there, in his country (for some other reasons) and having a drink with a guy in a bar... a guy who was a friend of his  haha, I was so stunned to find out!! 'cause they were totally different and going to very different places... but yeah, I would've had the chance to arrange a meeting with the celebrity too, only if I wanted  Well, I wasn't having that interest anymore, but it got me so content seeing that I made my way to him.

2. I had another crush later, on another celebrity. This time, I knew much about his personality, unlike with the previous one. I guess this was the reason why the manifestation was faster... So, my dreams were much more in detail. It happened that I got by chance right to his town and saw many of his mates around  And at the same time... I didn't meet him, but I attracted several guys who had many traits in common and who even had a very similar physique.... Interesting, isn't it?

[gogetter]

Hi everyone and I sure did appreciate your feelings added to this thread! I wish I could find more time to be on these boards but I am stretched so thin between eldercare and my 3 kids as a single mother.

So I wanted to give everyone an update on this new "friend"...it has been interesting. I did really enjoy talking to him and had a good comfort level with him, but always made it firm to him it was as friends only. Yet he continued to flirt and talk about my boobs or bum and make little comments and always left loving messages online for me every night before bed...he was besotted with me and I have been feeling bad that I can only offer friendship in return.

Because I feel comfortable talking to him though without an agenda of romance, I felt able to be totally honest about myself and about how certain choices he makes in his life make me feel. And if I disapproved of something he did or behaved like, he would tell me I am insulting him. He made fun of the law of attraction which I said is not an opinion, it is a fact, like karma, it just is. He said nope, all just coincidences, those silly signs...you see "signs" because you are looking for them. He debunked all my beliefs on LOA and any of Tolle's teachings or even anything about what is happening in the world and how it has no planetary connections at all and climate change is natural and he feels sorry for me because I buy into media fear mongering. I would try and tell him I simply wanted to share insights with him and try and help him see things in life more positively and then he just gets insulted again and is condescending to me.

So although it has been good and fun to have someone to talk to since not having any friends any more, his cynicism and his negative outlooks on so many things, are difficult to take. I asked him why he refused to seek a way to get off his heavy meds and marijuana and he just tells me I have no clue about having a crippling disease. I try and talk to him about pursuing his passions in life (music and photography) despite his disease but he always has an excuse.

The big blow out happened today though...I may have mentioned on here that none of my family like me or talk to me, bad bad situation. Yet I happen to have very expensive baby clothes and my niece just had a baby and she is poor and on welfare, teen mother. Well just because they hate me and would not appreciate me giving to them, I still wish to give to just do the right thing. But my new friend was all, don't do that! Give to charity, screw your stupid family! I said but that is wrong in a karma sense...he says that is just your opinion. I said it is more than an opinion though, this comes down to doing what is right, what is good...he says in YOUR opinion. I said I just feel your outlook, your stance on this, is just wrong. And he takes it as an insult of course but I simply want to help him rise out of the negative and see what that says to me about his character, those types of choices and "opinions"...although I truly think following LOA and nature's golden rule type of thing, is beyond opinion. Does anyone else agree?

He listens to death metal all the time and loves reading occult based books and I said I do not believe that stuff will make you do bad things but I do think that extreme level of negativity in your life does not help guide your feelings in positive thinking. Again he just says that is only YOUR opinion.

One night when I was on the phone to him, I had the news on in the background and they ran a story on a natural way of healing for his disease which is only offered in russia and according to the russians it works. And they interviewed some local people suffering from his same disease who claimed to be cured. He was cynical about it again, instead of realizing how important that sign was to appear right when I was talking to him and currently i am the only person in his life even remotely trying to help him. He then went online and found as many sites as he could to debunk it all and he just scoffed it all off and told me i get sucked in by media, etc. Then he goes on about how i have no clue how much suffering he has and i don't know what i am talking about and when i stand my ground he always reverts to, oh ok you are right i am wrong, of course. Which is so patronizing!!!

Anyway once he started mocking me today, I hung up on him and have not spoken to him since. Maybe it just took me awhile to see the real person?

I had also lost track a bit of my celeb crush but a few weeks ago I decided to follow him online again and see what his shows were about lately, and as soon as I returned to viewing and listening to him, the synchronicities reappeared!! In droves!! Within hours of reading something or talking about something, it would appear in some way from my celeb crush. Time began acting weird again too...numbers...like i see the number 45 constantly...i looked at the clock one day and say 145 245 345 445 etc, and i was never trying to look for those times, they just always appeared...which my new friend told me was just coincidence and subconsciously i was looking for it so i saw it due to that. One morning I was thinking about a random friend i speak to twice a year and that afternoon she called me! Again, he said random coincidence and he just laughs at me. Yet I have this feeling that there is far more to what is going on with my celeb crush than I even realize. Somehow we are on the same wavelength and he likely has no idea about me either but i feel strongly at some point, i will enter his consciousness and when i do...well, I almost feel certain he will appear at my door! sometimes I feel that super strongly! He is only a very minor celeb just in our local county but still...

I just wonder if my new friend was another test from the universe to 1. show me how to have conversations with a potential romantic interest, to 2. be unafraid to hold back and just be me in all my honesty, not compromising my solid beliefs and knowledge even if it means i will be alone again and friendless, and 3. to remind me to be judging of behaviours, not people. To learn and to keep learning and to move forward.

Would love all thoughts...I come here often to read and take comfort from so many like minded people on this journey which is so difficult but i continue to maintain my smile all throughout.

Blessings...

[lise]

I have to be quick as I have a bath running! I just wanted to say - you sound sooo much happier and positive despite this man's attitude. Maybe he came along just so you could re affirm what you do want in a person.

I think people have to find loa when it's right for them and he's obviously not ready yet - I do think it's rude of him to be so scathing etc but maybe it's easier for him to be that way than to address his own negativity - he'd have to accept he's attracting it and doesn't want to do that?

re - the baby clothes - I think you're right - do it - if it's what you feel is right. You're not doing it for your family or for yourself but to give a baby who isn't involved in any of it some lovely clothes. I know I received clothes when my son was born as was grateful people thought of him and anyone i know has always been appreciative when people have got their children anything.

re the numbers - I have had a major increase in seeing numbers - it started last year. I'm not sure what if anything they mean. If it was to be random then I don't know why I don't see other numbers - when for me it is 11.11 or 444 or less frequent but still enough to notice 222. I never see 5 6 7 etc. Have you seen this site?

http://spiritlibrary.com/doreen-virtue/angel-numbers

It gives some apparent meaning of numbers. I'm not sure where the idea of the meanings come from - ie who said they mean what she says  but it's interesting in itself.

best wishes

[Vicki Christina]

I just wonder if my new friend was another test from the universe to 1. show me how to have conversations with a potential romantic interest, to 2. be unafraid to hold back and just be me in all my honesty, not compromising my solid beliefs and knowledge even if it means i will be alone again and friendless, and 3. to remind me to be judging of behaviours, not people. To learn and to keep learning and to move forward.
 
I do like the three conclusions you made in the above statement.   Looks like progress.  Go on and send the nice baby outfits to the family member, and expect nothing in return except your good heart.   Your friend is not ready for the lessons you want to share.   When and if he is ready to learn more about the laws of the universe, he knows who to have discussions with about the topic!!!   Keep up the good work on YOU!       VC

[gogetter]

Thanks so much for your encouraging words...I have found it hard to stay positive and especially free from anger towards the ex. But I really think placing the word PEACE over my ex'es face on my vision board has truly helped.

My new friend has not called me back or tried to get in touch online to apologize so I guess maybe he thinks since I was not into him to the degree he is into me, it is easier to fight with me and end the entire friendship? Who knows...but for sure he is not ready to accept or welcome higher thinking.

I worry a bit that maybe I am at fault for calling out yet another person on their lack of compassion and LOA golden-rule right vs.wrong, sense of ethics...but I honestly have come to the conclusion I do not want any people in my life who do not understand what kindness and compassion mean and how there is a difference between right and wrong and it is not just an opinion! My celeb crush actually said this the other day during one of his local tv segments, that he firmly believed there was actual right and wrong according to natural law. And this is exactly what I believe...except it is more than just belief...it is fact, it just is...and that is what so many cannot understand. even if they don't believe in LOA or the golden rule, it is what it is...it is a basic fact of life...why is that so hard for so many to see? Why does my friend and so many others state that their disagreement to golden rules and LOA is mere differences of opinions?

But I had to post this little bit about my celeb crush...just this morning when I posted "I fully expect him to show up on my doorstep"? Well, for the first time that I have ever seen, when I went to look at his twitter (he has like 80,000 followers) someone had twittered him with some details on my EXACT TOWN which is a tiny, unknown little nowhere place!!! He happens to be doing a musical event, hosting it, next weekend in the bigger city not too far from where I am but this twitter poster actually brought to his direct attention my exact teeny weeny little town!!! They want him to do a promo spot for our radio!! This is sooo crazy! I love it...

Oh and after reading that angels and numbers link earlier, the next time I looked at the clock it was 4:44...

Life just gets more and more interesting...

[Detached&Allowing]

I absolutely LOVE the positive energy that exudes from your most recent posts.  You came to us and gave conscious manifesting an honest shot and are doing so well!! I agree whole heartedly with all the advice and opinions given here. 

One thing I have learned is that in many cases we cannot change the beliefs of others "physically".  However we can change beliefs/understandings and behaviors spiritually.

Good job on standing up for yourself and your beliefs!!

Lots of love and Best of LOA!!

[Sweet Spirit]

Go getter,
If you think back to your state of consciousness and vibration level at the time you met this guy, you will see how you attracted him. But now that you have changed into a positive and more empathetic woman, you see him for what he really is and in a way he is repulsive to you now. So I think its not that the real man has just recently   surfaced, I think you are able to see him with more clarity now. You did not really notice the negative aspects about him because yours matched his. You are no longer attracted to him as even a friend because he is still on a negative and low energy/vibrational level while your level is higher and more positive. He seems like someone who would bring you down with him not lift you up. I think you were glad to have him as a friend because he was the only one who would sympathize with the way you were feeling, and now that you have been feeling more positive, he wants to bring you back down by telling you that your beliefs are stupid. You had those positive beliefs instilled in your heart from long ago and no one can change that about you. The happiness is there too and I think you are finding that out now.

Be ever so grateful that you could not be swayed to his way of thinking! I am so proud of you for being strong and standing up for your beliefs! Now that you feel the love and positive energy, GREAT and wonderful things are going to start happening for you!

I think the universe brought that guy into your life only for a brief time or season not only because you attracted him, but because he may have been instrumental in lifting your spirits and he made you feel better and at ease; and if that is the case, you can be grateful for that as well. Mission accomplished. You are on the right track now! He is in your past and soon you will attract and meet new and positive friends who will love you for who you are inside: A beautiful, confident, strong and loving woman!

Life is gonna be GREAT!!!!!       

Much love and many blessings to you dear!!

[Lauren444]

Gogetter.. i know this topic is old lol but what you described about the "new guy" sounds like an alpha reflection... google it it means that it is a sign from the universe that your message was received but doesn't mean you have to settle for less than your desire. that being said, you may come to find that the minor celeb isn't the right person for you. this is just my advice, i am not saying i am right.. but you may want to focus on how your life partner makes you feel, rather than restricting it to one person who might turn out to not be good for you. just saying! namaste!!