Letting go and your energy toward that person

[2thetop]

Ya mariposa thats pretty much the best way.  the problem i found with focusing on letting go is we actually are focused on us holding on.  We focus on ourselves and what slowly happens is you have to remind yourself to hold on.  when we realize we are actually telling ourselves to hold on, we recognize it and automatically deal with it.  i should correct my statement from above, or rather clear it up.  I think about her daily, its just now when i think about her, i smile and feel warm and fuzzy.  when i have bad thoughts or scary thoughts, i acknowledge them cry if i need to, very seldom does it get that bad now, and let the thought remove itself.  my life just deosnt revolve around her.  i dont have a thought of, well shes doing this so i should do this.  or i shouldnt do this because of her.

well the kid is up so ill be back later

much love to you all

[OmAumOm]

Lidija, that's such a good point. "Being attached to a certain person is not doing any good for me. I know that I want him back, but simply is not my style to chase someone and to be attached to that someone.  I feel like I am underestimating myself for giving him such attention, and he doesn't even care. So why should I be the one that will suffer?"

That totally struck a chord with me. Why should I be getting upset over the fact that he chose not to be with me, the fact that we're not together anymore. He's the one missing out.. I'm funny, smart, attractive- well, I'd like to think so anyway  . I know that I can find love again, and not being with him is not the end of the world. I don't need him. Sure, I'd like to be with him... but if he doesn't wanna get back with me, that's his loss. The universe is bringing me the perfect relationship whether it's with my ex or not. And I would like it to be my ex, but I know that whatever comes will be even better than what I expect/hope for. It's tough mixing between "should I intend for just him, or be more general" but for my own wellbeing, I really need to stop focusing on getting him back because it's just making me more desperate, that's why I need to step back. And I've tried, and then I'll relapse and won't be able to stop thinking about him. Then I'll get back to being general. I keep letting go of the rock and going with the flow, then getting scared and reaching out for the rock again. I just gotta let go, go with the flow. I know that it's possible to attract a specific person back, but I'm not emotionally detached from him enough for anything to move.

If he comes back, yay. If he doesn't, someone better will come along. 

[ipanema]

Thanks Mariposa for sharing the link! Very cute diagram and also very true x

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

I figured it out.....I prayed and my prayers were answered. 

OK, so my guy is with someone else, and they are both in a negative place, in a negative energy relationship.  I stay attached and you know what was happening to my energy? 

My good energy was feeding their bad energy and it was also effecting my good energy with bad energy. 

Two negative people together, both with negative energy.....is a hard thing for a person with good energy to NOT be effected by. 

So due to the revelation, which by the way should have been common sense, I DID LET GO!! 

I let go for me, to save myself but also because if I didn't I would continue to feed their negative energy with some of my positive energy....then making it (their relationship) continue even longer.  Now they can direct their negative energy toward each other only and in turn.....eventually that will burn up because no one can live for ever in a negative place, at some point there is a breaking point, a blow up, an explosion! 

I AM FREE, FINALLY FREE!!  And it does feel good, I still have a few daily thoughts and occasional challenges but when they pop up.....I delete, delete, delete!! 

So the message here is let go and bask in the glow!! 

[57angel]

Mariposa, thank you for sharing! So true! Now that I know all of these, I am very much excited to be in a relationship again - with a self empowered me

[2thetop]

ya mariposa, i was thinking about that the other day.  if we are giving them our positive energy, they are then using that in their current relationship.  but then i thought about the fact that they can recognize that its us.  however, when they constantly have our energy they dont need to think about it.  when it comes in spurts and once in a while, they start wondering why.  such as a fight, then, being the big man is perfect in timing, we think about them with love, they feel it and think about us.  then we let go, and theyre stuck thinking or wondering whats going on with us and why theyre thinking of us.  not that i would wish bad for the other person, but it just seems to make sense that things may just work like that.

[irishgirl69]

Shawn, I've had that same thought.  Sending energy all the time would probably work against us.  But sending it every once in a while I think might be a better idea.  So they think about us, then kind of miss us, etc.

[2thetop]

ya.  personally, im not sending her anything any more.  she doesnt deserve it any more in my opinion. but my head just slipped into a bad place so im just gonna leave it at that.  what is, is what is

[2thetop]

funny.  i post that last post and a minute later the woman i made mention of in a later post, text me to say happy thanksgiving and put a smile on my face.  i post this so that everyone out there can see it is ok to feel down and bad from time to time.  this is my first thanksgiving with out my girl and i know she is spending it with someone else.  yet the big man upstairs knew i didnt want to feel like that and that i was getting overwhelmed.  so he connected me with someone that means a great deal to me and let me know shes thinking of me.  and all i can say about that is woooooooooooooooooooo.  which is slightly odd, cuz shes engaged to someone, which leaves me wondering why im feeling like that but i will enjoy it.  she has made me smile non stop since running into her. 
which all this relates to letting go.  i will confess, she is on my mind more then my ex right now.  in a good way, constantly smiling, and happy for her and the fact that we have be reunited in such a beautiful way.  ive asked myself once or twice.  will she initiate contact if i dont?  then i say, well im very grateful for us being reunited and it being like we never skipped a beat.  then i tell myself, if she does she does if she doesnt she doesnt.  then she does.  pretty awesome.  this will be the first time i have to admit.  that woman is my first love.  i love her more then i even realized.  i repressed it all and seeing her brought it all back.  so i can do nothing but be so very grateful for that for more reasons then i will list in this already long post lol.

keep on keeping on

[lashark]

That little diagram made me laugh.

If they replace the word "energy" with "neediness" it would make perfect sense.

But I believe for a fact that if by "energy" they mean "love" (unconditional/appreciation) then it's bogus.

How in the world does loving someone make them not like you? That is so ridiculous in my opinion. And why in the world would it matter anyways if you are truly loving them. Do people not know what love means?

Needing someone to behave a certain way in order to make you happy (talking to you, being your BF or GF) and then being miserable and resenting them because they want nothing to do with you is NOT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and is NOT APPRECIATION. I'm sure "neediness" has it's own energy and that is probably what that chart is showing, at least I hope so because if whoever made that, thinks they are talking about love, then that person has ALOT to learn about the meaning of love. And what the energy of pure love (unconditional/appreciation) truly does to your self and everything you come into contact with.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

I don't think it had anything to do with unconditional love, you can love unconditionally and not be attached.....I think what they are referring to is being attached, as it shows in the diagram.  And yes, some who are still attached are needy or at least they still think they NEED the person so they hang on to them in their thoughts...(constant thoughts) and by constantly sending energy to them which can repel them to the opposite direction we would prefer they went.

I think the point is that we need to be happy with ourselves and let go and let God......handle the rest. 

Let our loved ones go and detach from them so they find a shift in energy and they in turn start looking for us, they start coming to find us. 

In my case, I am emotionally and spiritually attached to my guy to the point that his energy effects me, if he is feeling badly and is stressed and gets a headache, I get a headache too....if he gets a stomach ache, I get a stomach ache also, anxiety attack....yep I get those too!!  I knew I had this connection to him and I used it as a gauge for how his current relationship was going, yes, it made me feel better because I knew they were having problems but the real problem was that by staying connected to him I was actually contributing to him staying with her. 

I have no doubt that he can feel my energy of being attached even if sub-conscientiously and like I said he has a negative relationship with her and she with him, so my connection to him sort of feeding into their situation making it maybe a bit more palatable. 

But I take it away.....ALL THE WAY AWAY.......and WHAM O........You have two people stuck feeding each other negative crap until they finally get sick of all the bullshit and part ways for good!! 

Plus you have me, no longer being effected physically or emotionally by his negative energy or hers!  It's a win-win!! 

I am so happy, I can hardly stand it!! 

Let the fireworks begin!!