Author Topic: Using LOA, knowing and believing he is back :) (Read 713 times)

Silverfa · « **on:** February 04, 2012, 11:07:09 PM »

So basically, after reading all the articles, I will use LOA for the first time in attracting my ex back. No matter what I know he will come back. After what i have read here I believe now in ow powerful my own mind can be.

Can someone suggest any specific small steps that I can do each day? And what if i get small doubts, that sometimes happens, but I immediately divert my mind.
I have just started using LOA this week - this is the week I discovered it. My breakup was officially in Jan by since November we had started fighting. And yes I became desparate and tried to hold on way too strong.

I understand my mistake and how i pushed him away. I have now detached myself to a great extent and am truly believing and seeing us together

Any suggestions would be extremely helpful!

Thanks a ton LOA family -positive thoughts only!

tereza · « **Reply #1 on:** February 04, 2012, 11:24:39 PM »

Well there are two things that I find helpful...
1. Forgiving them and also forgiving yourself.
2. Focusing on yourself and making yourself a priority in your life.

When you forgive them it helps release any resistance you might have towards having a relationship. While focusing on yourself has a bunch of benefits. It helps with detachment, makes you happier, gets you into alignment for what you want and more stuff.

crazysoul · « **Reply #2 on:** February 04, 2012, 11:46:41 PM »

start a grateful journal, where you list each day the things for what you are thankful for.... even the smallest things.... it will raise your spirit and put you into a good mindstate which is really important.
the more you are are grateful, the more blessings will come to you as well

and browse this forum here- all you need--- a lot of amazing tips and information!!!!

Silverfa · « **Reply #3 on:** February 06, 2012, 12:49:24 PM »

Hey tereza & crazysoul - thanks a lot for these insights.

I read in The Secret, that i should write down exactly how i want to see my relationship with him and write down as if it has already happened.
That is what i did last night. and it felt really good. I will also read it each night before i go to sleep.

I know i was wrong as well and I have forgiven both of us for what was done and said.
Maintaining no contact is a little hard because sometimes i really want to contact him. This hasnt proved very successful in the past before i knew about LOA.

Hence I would love your advice on breaking no contact myself? Or should I just keep believing that he will do so on his own.
I do want the relationship to work out right this time without any misunderstandings and miscommunications. and I know it will happen.

Please do share your advice as well! thanks a bunch again

def · « **Reply #4 on:** February 06, 2012, 02:18:43 PM »

Hey

That's the beauty in the law of attraction 'don't sweat the small stuff'. The universe will handle the hows and whys and all we do is be grateful.

You can ask for your future partner (don't like saying ex as it has that sort of negative connotation to it

) to contact you by putting it out to the universe if that is your intention. I asked the same thing should I break the no contact rule. No contact is there so you are able to work on yourself and truly detach. If your trust your intention and you are in alignment you will manifest what you want.

This time you have apart is purely for you. Its your time to learn and grow. So when he is back with you, you don't continue to repeat the cycle.

"I do want the relationship to work out right this time without any misunderstandings and miscommunications. and I know it will happen". Try not to focus in what you don't want and focus on what you do such as you want a relationship with open communication.

You are the creator of your life

Silverfa · « **Reply #5 on:** February 06, 2012, 03:24:19 PM »

Hey Def!
Thanks so much..this makes alot of sense!!
Yes you are right, this time is for me. And I have been able to detach so much more with no contact as compared to when I kept on trying to contact him and failed as it led to more distance between us.
My thoughts are now positive only. I believe and see a beautiful life with my partner S.

Quote

Try not to focus in what you don't want and focus on what you do such as you want a relationship with open communication.

Very right on that part

Thanks for pointing it out here too.

Can I ask how your story worked out?
I read an article on this forum as well about the difference between desire and desperation. That too has certainly inspired me as well.

def · « **Reply #6 on:** February 06, 2012, 04:22:13 PM »

My story is a work in progress.

I have gone back and forward with my partner over the last few months. Broke up, together, broke up, together and not because of a lack of love because we love each other immensely but a zig to his zag sort of thing where I became too attached. I was selfish!!! I wanted him to be my happiness, my love, to complete me because that is what I had learnt, that's what I knew. I haven't learnt how to remain detached. This is what I want to learn before I allow him back into my life. The last time I was with him I said that I felt this huge shift as if he was moving on without me and as if my intuition was telling me what the immediate future will hold. The greatest thing was I felt the outcome of what lies in the future as well which was out of this, would be a greater love and understanding in a new relationship with him. I forgot all that when he finally broke it off

. I did all the usual (beg, cry, convincing). Then I let him go. I looked him in the eyes and held his face so he could not look away and I told him that I just wanted him to be happy with or without me.

I haven't truly let go at all in fear of not being ready for the end result. I'm great at sharing my knowledge the practice part is a little harder for me to do. We are in this journey together and I will be more than happy to keep you updated.

Silverfa · « **Reply #7 on:** February 06, 2012, 04:51:35 PM »

oh wow..sounds somewhat like my story except that this is the first time it happened.

I know i became desperate and just tried to keep holding on. I know what you mean when u say that you felt like he was moving on without you.

The begging, crying, pleading, convincing i have done as well. In the end we just stopped talking after one more fight and me pleading and his slamming the phone.
I have now let him go completely. I do not try to contact or check what he is doing. I have just started focusing on myself and do not let myself get hurt by anything. I am truly just paying attention to myself and believing that he will come back.
I know and i have felt the healthy relationship with him. I know how you feel when you say that practising is harder. But each day i have started to be grateful for all that i have and i repeat to myself that my partner S loves me.

I wish you the best of luck and would love to stay updated about your progress too. Will keep updating on the same

Hugs!

SAINAM · « **Reply #8 on:** February 06, 2012, 05:21:25 PM »

Quote from: tereza on February 04, 2012, 11:24:39 PM

Well there are two things that I find helpful...
1. Forgiving them and also forgiving yourself.
2. Focusing on yourself and making yourself a priority in your life.

When you forgive them it helps release any resistance you might have towards having a relationship. While focusing on yourself has a bunch of benefits. It helps with detachment, makes you happier, gets you into alignment for what you want and more stuff.

Tereza, is it possible to forgive someone who is constant in front of your eyes and you are living with him in same house...when we see that he is happy without me and when we see that he is not having any concern...?

tereza · « **Reply #9 on:** February 06, 2012, 09:40:01 PM »

@def, thanks for sharing your story. I think that's huge that you realized how you were expecting him to be your happiness, since now you can change that around. I've found that being responsible for my happiness, has really made a huge impact in my life. It also helps to keep me detached because when I start to feel clingy and panicky, I then realize that something in my life needs attention and then redirect my focus.

@silverfa, that's awesome to hear that you're now focusing on yourself.

Quote from: SAINAM on February 06, 2012, 05:21:25 PM

Tereza, is it possible to forgive someone who is constant in front of your eyes and you are living with him in same house...when we see that he is happy without me and when we see that he is not having any concern...?

Yes. Forgiveness is a choice, so you can choose to forgive him for the past and the present and move forward.
So instead of looking at him and seeing a man that is happy without you or seeing a man who has hurt at you. Look at him and see the man that you fell in love with. Focus on his good qualities instead of focusing on your hurt (which will only attract more hurt to yourself).

While her situation is not exactly the same as yours, I think it might be helpful as she also had to live with her guy after they broke up:
http://goodvibeblog.com/my-breakup-in-the-vortex/

alliswell · « **Reply #10 on:** February 07, 2012, 08:36:32 PM »

Hi Tereza

I feel the same as SAINAM.... i want to ask you that can loa bring back such a hurting lover back.....i still cannot come out of the
pain he has given me....i feel it can only be relieved when he comes back to me.... i really really desperately want to have him back for my peace of mind.... i cannot live like this anymore....i tried to be positive and hopeful all these days reading advices on this forum....but i broke down today and cried a lot.... i want to talk to him..... it has been around a month after our bitter fights for 3 months that we have spoken....i left calling him as this is what he wanted..... but now i want to call him badly...

i am losing my heart and hope.....i dont like to do anything ....feel so depressed....

i see him daily as he lives in the next door flat to mine.....i cannot see him happy without having a thought for me....
can loa help me??

tereza · « **Reply #11 on:** February 07, 2012, 10:14:03 PM »

Alliswell,

Yes, you can attract a hurting lover back, but why would you want to? That would only attract more hurt. So what you want to do is attract a new and better relationship with him or if you desire, someone new.

If want to attract this guy back, but you can't forgive or find it very difficult to do so and your mind can't stop thinking about the hurt they have caused you, then just for now…stop trying to forgive and stop trying to attract them back. If you read the link I posted in response to Silverfa, you'll see that the author gave herself some time to be upset about the breakup before she moved on to acceptance and gratitude (and it doesn't say it in that article, but she does get back together with him).

So it's ok, to allow yourself to be upset and hurt for awhile. You don't have to force yourself to forgive or be positive, if you're not ready for it. Sometimes you've got to sit with the negative or down feelings for a little bit in order to let it go…cause well as they say, the more you resist, the more it persists.

Also, I find for me, forgiveness is easier to achieve when I am feeling good about myself and have love to share. When I've got love to share, I'm able to be more compassionate and understanding. If I'm feeling badly, then it's very hard to forgive. Which is why I recommend taking a break from trying to attract him back. I think it'll be good to use this time to focus on yourself and well, get yourself to a better feeling place.

I really recommend reading this post as it explains focusing on yourself very well:

http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/law-of-attraction-for-relationship-6/bible-of-getting-your-ex-back-dns-post/

this post is great too:

http://www.powerfulintentions.org/forum/topics/getting-your-ex-lover-back

alliswell · « **Reply #12 on:** February 08, 2012, 09:31:50 PM »

Thanks Tereza

But what you are asking me to do that i just focus on myself and let the pain be as it is...this is what i have been doing ....i have accepted the pain and it is okay at times...but at times the hurt is unbearable and i just think it can be relieved only when he comes back ....i just want to feel good which i am unable to do without him....actually i am not being able to come to terms to the fact that he left me and said such hurting things to me that i just start crying when i accidentally recall what he said....

i want to have the loving person and the relationship we had initially ...i want him to care for me ,be sorry for hurting me...then only i would be able to feel better and focus on myself...

tereza · « **Reply #13 on:** February 08, 2012, 10:36:48 PM »

That's not quite what I meant. I mean, it's ok to feel sad for awhile, then when you're ready start to do things to make yourself happy. Did you read the links I sent you?

Fact is, your happiness is your responsibility, not your ex's responsibility. So when you say that you can't get better without him, that makes me think either the breakup was very recent and you still need time to grieve or that you're not very happy with your life. If it's the latter, then maybe it's time you start taking steps to create a life that will make you happy.

crazysoul · « **Reply #14 on:** February 08, 2012, 11:57:58 PM »

Quote from: Silverfa on February 06, 2012, 04:51:35 PM

oh wow..sounds somewhat like my story except that this is the first time it happened.

I know i became desperate and just tried to keep holding on. I know what you mean when u say that you felt like he was moving on without you.

The begging, crying, pleading, convincing i have done as well. In the end we just stopped talking after one more fight and me pleading and his slamming the phone.
I have now let him go completely. I do not try to contact or check what he is doing. I have just started focusing on myself and do not let myself get hurt by anything. I am truly just paying attention to myself and believing that he will come back.
I know and i have felt the healthy relationship with him. I know how you feel when you say that practising is harder. But each day i have started to be grateful for all that i have and i repeat to myself that my partner S loves me.

I wish you the best of luck and would love to stay updated about your progress too. Will keep updating on the same
Hugs!

great!!!! thats the only way it can work out

cool!