updates and new questions--> long distance ex

[Andrew Wilkie]

Seb913.

Great to hear, just one thing that leapt out at me.

I have a mutual loving, strong relationship. Think specifics. You can't buy mutual love or strong in a supermarket. How will you know you have those things? If I phone you up tomorrow and ask you have you achieved your goal of having a mutual loving, strong relationship. It is either a yes or no answer. Yet, you'll need some criteria or a story.

Also by when?

[David V.]

My case is a bit harder, because she never uttered a word to me ever since, two and half months ago. She blocked me from everything.
Today I watched a part of THE SECRET that applied particularily to me.

It said "Everytime you expect money notices in your mailbox, you'll see them, and every day you feel horrified looking for them. You never expect anything good. You only expect debts, and thus they show up. It will further prove you are not crazy. Why are debts there? Because you always expect them to be there, and thus they are there. Do yourself a favor, expect a check!"

It was the very same with me. I was horrified looking for signs that she loved me less and less, that she wanted to bury me at all costs.

But from now onward, I will do myself a favor and EXPECT A RECONCILIATION LOVE LETTER!

[seb913]

@andrew: hmm. I kinda get what you're saying. so you think I should be more specific? do you think can give me an example? as for the when, the deadline I came up with is that we'll be an "official" couple (with the boyfriend-girlfriend title and all) by august 2010. I picked that deadline because that's when I'm visiting the east coast where he lives and when I'll see him, so I thought that'd be a reasonable deadline. but should I pick a different deadline or something? what do you suggest?

@david v.: I think that's a great idea! I watched "the secret" as well, AND I have the book X]. the book's ideas and teachings, plus all the advice on this forum, has helped me a lot. and as for how she blocked you from everything, the situation can and will (if you truly believe it will) turn around. when me and my significant other broke up, I seriously thought we'd never speak to each other again. we were snapping at each other, and saying stupid things, and we basically spent an hour arguing about whose fault everything was. but once I let go of all that, and stopped taking what we said to heart, and forgave him for it, and started focusing on what I wanted (talking to him again), it happened. all you need is faith =]

[mkitten]

Would you mind if I join this thread too? adding a third story...

I can tell pretty much the same like you, had a wonderful 3 and half years together with my ex (soon to be my boyfriend again). We met accidentally and used to joke about this a lot, because everything happened so naturally and we both felt that we just know each other for a veryyyy long time. (we are very similar by the way) We always had that very hard to explain kind of feeling of perfection around each other. That feeling what I would describe like a calm state of mind and soul, when you finally arrive home from a long journey. I never felt that with anyone, not even with my boyfriend before him, with whom I spent 10 years and it was too a big love story.
We too spent hours of planning our future together with every detail, incl. our kids name, our future house and he even described me how he would love to have huge wedding ect. ect.

I know he loved me the same way, and I think he still does. He ended the relationship not because he didn't love me anymore, but because of my behaviour and his lack of faith that I can change. The sad part is that I was the one who chased him to break up with me. I was venting my frustration about myself on him, insecurity and just let my emotions go rampage all the time. I didn't even realize I hurt him so much.
What makes me convinced? Even if the break-up happened almost a year ago, he still don't have a new relationship with anyone, doesn't date at all, he just started to talk with my sister's daughter (he loved her, but she is just a kid, so he didn't really talked with her on the messenger) so I bet he still does miss me, and my family. I think he refused to meet me because either he is still hurt, or trying very hard to bury his feelings. He wrote literally : " I don't think that would be a good idea", but he also mentioned he never saw me online, so I must be very busy with my life. (actually I deleted him from messenger a long time ago)

I do believe that the break up happened for a reason. We both needed to evolve, what would never happen if we stay together. We both needed to learn some lessons, and as David wrote, when we have grown exponentially stronger both individually, and thus two happy individual beings will make an even happier couple. I believe in this with all my heart, and like seb, I feel it in my gut.

By the way... we should not be patient. We should not wait! Waiting and having patience means we are lack of something. Instead we should feel happy and complete, cause we already have them, right? So this is what we vibrate

[David V.]

Look at us.....I suggest thinking that our desires of ONE particular goal, with ONE particular person each, combine and together make an utterly unstoppable force. If many individual people join toward one purpose, their support makes their faith grow exponentially.

Would you like to think of it as a team effort, fair ladies? Ms. Seb? Ms. Kitten?

[mkitten]

I think thats a great idea We can help each other a LOT, especially whenever we might have some "down moments", but I bet there will be less and less of those You already helped me, I truly owe you!

[seb913]

@my new "utterly unstoppable force" =]: I AGREE! =D. I think the more support we are given, the more easy it is to have faith in our goal and therefore, the more easy it will be to have our desires manifest. and yes, mirelitkitten, we can definetly help each other when we have our down moments, and you're right, there will be less of those!

mirelitkitten, I know exactly what you're talking about. my significant other told me during our break up that we'd probably never talk again because it'd be too awkward and would do nothing for us. but that all changed, in fact, he said he spent over a week thinking about me nonstop and really wanted to talk to me. we CAN change our situations around, I did, and I know you can. the time between the break up and now doesn't matter, you can do this! =]. we will get our loved ones back, and you too david!

[David V.]

What a thing....it turns out I am, as of now, behind both of you. You already had contact with them. I as of yet have to manifest it. And it will happen. That is what I want the most...what I desire most in my entire life.

[seb913]

@david v.: yes, you're right, it will happen =]. but don't think about how me and her have already had contact with them and how you haven't. act as if you have already, feel the joy you would feel if she did, act as if she's already yours again. then don't stress about it. you can do this =]

[David V.]

Oh, no, I am not envious or anything. I can do thinking that if you could do it, therefore I can. It only serves as PROOF of it.

[seb913]

Oh okay, good . Keep working at it, you got this!

[kristensmith]

Look at us.....I suggest thinking that our desires of ONE particular goal, with ONE particular person each, combine and together make an utterly unstoppable force. If many individual people join toward one purpose, their support makes their faith grow exponentially.

Would you like to think of it as a team effort, fair ladies? Ms. Seb? Ms. Kitten?

i definitely agree that as a powerful FORCE all of us can manifest great things.

remember everyone is connected to everyone and everything through energy.

COUNT ME IN for this JOURNEY!!!

[Andrew Wilkie]

Seb913

"I have a mutual loving, strong relationship". - That the big over riding goal. The title of your movie if you will. Great Yet, goals,movies are made up of specific thing, steps,frames and scenes.

Mutual, does that mean equal in this instance? Again that is a sliding scale.

I receive on average 10 emails a day from X.
I phone X on average 3 times a week.
I spent on average 30 minutes a day talking to X about X.

Why use the words "on average". It allows you some leeway. If you say, per week. If you don't remember or can't do it the first week. Your goal has failed.

Deadline - What is the exact date you'll be on the east coast and maybe even where? Don't make it an important date i.e birthday etc. Your use of the word BY was excellent too "by" the way, why? It means it can happen sooner.

[twirlgirl]

I would like to join my energies, too. David, my situation is similar to yours, in that he won't talk to me. I am not blocked, but he won't speak to me. I have sent countless emails, texts, and calls and he refuses to speak to me. I join you in combining positive energies to attract back what we want.

[seb913]

@kristensmith: great! the more people, the more faith, the more energy, the more support, the better we will all be =]


@andrew: hmm. what do you mean by a sliding scale? I'm a bit confused on that part.

I really get what you're saying about the "average" thing. so could I say something like this:
______ and I talk on the phone, on average, twice a week.
______ texts me, on average, 5 days a week.
______ calls me to wake me up, on average, three days a week.

does that sound pretty reasonable?

well I'm going to be on the east coast sometime in mid-august; I don't know the EXACT date yet. as for where, it's going to be in the washington DC area. he doesn't live that far from there, so we're going to meet up. and that's exactly what I was thinking about the whole "by such and such date" thing. =]


@twirlgirl: maybe you should stop trying to contact him for a while. by sending him countless emails, texts, calls, etc. you're showing that you NEED him. I know exactly how that feels like because that's what I did when I felt the break up coming, and it didn't do anything but possibly make me send out more negative vibrations because I kept focusing on the fact that he wasn't answering my phone calls or my text messages. maybe you should work on yourself first.