I understand although its much easier said than done. But just work on being positive about yourself and be grateful for what you have had and currently have. Think positive thoughts regarding your future and know that you will get what you want. Whenever feeling positive, I say affirmations out loud or visualize myself with my boyfriend doing something fun together such as going on a vacation, or even him proposing to me! Lol, as for work, I visualize myself working in an environment that makes me feel happy as well as imagining making a lot of money off to pay my debts and etc. What has worked for me when having doubts or when negative thoughts creep in is to just chant the 4 phrases of H'oponono which is "I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank-you." It truly does calm me down and erases the doubts that was bringing me down moments earlier.
I just Google'd biaureal beats and it seems to be a method that uses listening to certain types of music and wathing certain colors and waves that is suppose to help with relaxation, stress reduction, meditation, enhancing creativity, and etc. I have yet to try it out so can't say if it works or not. I am a 'newbie' so am not able to post an external link but if you search for biaureal beats there is a ton of info.
As for meditation, don't stress about not being able to keep your thoughts "100% quiet". I have tried it a few times myself but did not feel too successful as my thoughts would go all over the place. Meditation is one of those things that gets better with practice. Perhaps you can try listening to calming music while you meditate, I have heard that that does help when new to meditating.