To everyone who wants thier love/ex back(PART 2)

[ava]

Thank you my friends...i accepted the new guy just for raising my vibration to be back together with my love.i hope it can help me.

[Believing Love]

Thank you my friends...i accepted the new guy just for raising my vibration to be back together with my love.i hope it can help me.

If I may, I disagree with this.
I mean, if we are using someone just to get together with someone that we love is the same like not letting things go and instead using the other person which will lead bounce back to you because Life is like a mirror.

If you're not ready, dont do it. I know it's been years since you broke up with your man,but it's not Universe fault that you're not getting what you want. You kept waiting and waiting .. You kept on attaching to your desire, how on earth Universe will deliver your desire ?
Now, people always say Universe always align us with things that we want .. Funny enough, if you are desperate to get together with your man and come this guy who claimed he love you etc, wont it be like a reflection of you in that man body ? You will end up having what everyone kept saying " karma " using a person for your own benefit isnt right. Love comes from within, happiness comes from inside too ... if you think other people may help you raised your vibration means you are back to square one, hoping others to give you happiness.

I am sorry if I sound quite rude here,  but I am telling you because I know your story ava. You came from no contact at all to a contact and meet up. Dont you think that is AWESOME ? why you have to ruins it with attachment ? The goal is in you .. you just have to be in the same alignment .. Your job is just to be Happy .. nothing else. What is so hard about that ? So what if he didnt contact you on your birthday ? It's only a birthday .. You are waiting for a .. I dont know .. maybe spending your whole life with him ? that would be like 50more birthday to go. Dont get bump out just because one event. Detach and be happy .. that is all you need to do !

[irishgirl69]

I kind of agree with Believing Love.  If you are at all interested in this other man, then I'd say go for it.  You never know - you may like him more than your ex.  But if you're just going to try and feel better and as a way to get your guy back, then that's the wrong reason.  I know because I did that.  I went on a few dates in the fall just to get my mind off my guy and feel good.  It definitely was an ego boost that other men were interested in me, but it didn't feel right.  Now I'm at the point where I do feel like I'm open to meeting other men for real.  I still want to be with my guy and hope that he figures things out soon, but I'm open to the possibility that perhaps the Universe has someone else in store for me that is even better than him.

[Happybeingme]

I kind of agree as well. Really I have mixed feelings about it. I think dating other people can be really good and really healthy when you are ready. however, I don't think it is ok to go into it thinking "if I date others then so and so will return" not only is it not fair to the new person, but it is still being attached to your ex and doing things just to make it happen won't work. I think when you are ready you need to be able to go into it with an open mind and think "well lets see what happens, maybe i will really like this new person if i give them a chance"  I'm also thinking of dating again. I'm not actively searching right now but if the opportunity came up i would like to think i would take it just to see what else is out there.  it doesn't mean that i don't still want matt but it is about not putting your life on hold until it happens and moving forward with or without them.

[ava]

I am not agree with you believing love...i just wanted to have a date to detache myself from him.to switch my attention away from him.i WANT MY GUY BACK!and I should raise my vibration.i don't want a real date.and this situation could help me,but today when i was talking to him,i found out I don't like his personality and I told him that I don't want to be in touch with you any more.so I am single again.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

Single again?

Is that how things work in your country?  One potential date means you are automatically a couple? 

Just curious.

[ava]

Mariposa,may be my English is not fine.i meant I am not with him any more.i didn't like him;-)

[2thetop]

ya well here everyone.  i suggested to ava that she goes out with him.  if thats why she did it i dont know.  i told her to go out with him because she deserved to have a man on her arm on her bday.  i think what ava did is fine and right.  do you all suggest she sits on the sidelines and just waits?

if she wants to go out with someone to raiser her vibration, who the heck is anyone here to badger her about it.  dont all of you come here to raise your vibration at times?  do you not talk to your friends, family and listen to music to raise your vibration.  Ya?  let me clue you in on something.  you are using those objects, music, tv, whatever to raise your vibration, you arent the one doing it. 

ava.  i hope he treated you well and you two had an amazing time.  you deserve it.  if you happen to be asked out again, listen to yourself and not the voices here.  go out with whomever at that time if you feel its right.  i am sorry but if everyone here goes back and re reads their older posts you will see more then one time where people have recommended just going out with someone to help stop thinking of someone or to help raise your vibration.  she wasnt marrying the guy. 

believing it wasnt rude of you to say whats on your mind.  however, like i said, if thats what she needs to do to raise her vibration then so be it.  she didnt string this guy a long date after date.  she didnt tell this guy that she wants to marry him then dump him.  no.  she went out with a guy on her bday and was allowed to feel special by someone.  there isnt a damn thing wrong with that. 

just an fyi......im not posting this to argue.  please dont respond with a million questions about my view and what ifs.  i dont care about what ifs.  i dont care about what might be.  i dont care about the fact that she went out with this guy just to raise her vibration to get her man back.  what she did, she did for her, and i am proud of her for it, it was hard for her to do it.   

ava do what makes you happy.  much love to you my dear friend.  may your heart be filled with the warmth of a thousand suns.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

What are we talking about anyway?  She decided not to go out with him after all because she doesn't care for his personality.

But I agree, if she decides to date someone else to raise her vibration....go for it!! 

She isn't married and if it helps her to feel good, that is AWESOME!!

Ava, you deserve to be happy.......NO MATTER WHAT!!   

[2thetop]

what I am talking about is the feeling i got reading all the above after she said she was going out with someone.  it just came across to me as an attack against what she was doing for herself.  which i just dont understand.  i just dont want ava to think that the next time this situation comes up she needs to run because of what was said here. 
sorry if i misunderstood all the above and thats not what was being said.  sometimes i switch into protect mode and well protect.  not that its needed.  just instinct.

ava just to say this again.  you are progressing a long awesomely.  keep doing what you have been.  dont doubt yourself on ANYTHING.  if you want to do something then do it.  its your life.  live it how you want.  he will come around.  and if for some reason he doesnt.  trust me, you will be fine.  theres a million and one guys out there that would drop dead to have someone as amazing as you are in their life.  if he wants to be a fool, then so be it.  let him be the one looking back going i should have, not you.  i am proud of you for making the decision you did.  both to go out with him, and then withdrawing after you realized hes not your type.  you are listening to yourself and not letting the fear of the unknown control you.  keep it up! 

[ava]

Wow Shawn,my dearest friend,a million thank you for you...i am helping my self and I deserve to be happy,i deserve to raise my vibration for any reason I realize is good for me.you know me Shawn.you know my whole story.you know how much that was hard for me,to just accept a date with another guy,but I did it,just because I prove myself that I can and should break the cage around me.and if in the future,a million date I can have,i won't sit at home,i will go for dates.look at giggles and her success story please.thank you again Shawn.

[Happybeingme]

"what I am talking about is the feeling i got reading all the above after she said she was going out with someone.  it just came across to me as an attack against what she was doing for herself. "

2thetop,

I think you might be reading the posts different than I am as that is not what I got when reading, and not at all what I meant by my post if mine made you feel that way as well. I was more in general saying that dating others is good if and only if it is for the right reasons, if it is for you. In general I read a lot of posts that seem to be well if i do this then so and so will come back. if i date others then i will get the other person back etc. Going out and meeting new people and going on dates is healthy, if you read my full story i actually did attract my ex back before and it was when i was interested in someone else. I think dating others is good to raise your vibration and it can possibly bring that other person back to you, however it should be done because you want to meet others, explore possibilities and do things for yourself, not as a ploy to bring your ex back becaue doing it just to bring them back is usually not going to work becaue you are still attached. I'm not saying this is what AVA was doing, but i was commenting on the topic in general. Since none of us know that much detail about the others life in this forum and we cannot tell what the others are thinking i believe in giving general advice and comments and leaving it up to the spefic person to know what is right for them to do. Please don't get defensive and assume that anyone is attacking anyone else here.

[irishgirl69]

Shawn, I realize that you feel protective of Ava, which is very sweet, but you may want to consider that perhaps those of us that commented on her accepting this date were coming from that same place.  I know that when I read what Ava wrote about why she accepted the date, I was concerned that it would make her feel worse.  It seemed to me that she was feeling fragile because her ex didn't wish her a happy birthday, and I was afraid that by accepting this date with the mindset that it would get her ex back (because that is what I perceived from what she wrote) and if that didn't happen, that it would make her feel worse.

I'm all for dating for dating's sake and just to get out there.  But I'm also a strong believer in not doing anything in regards to LOA as a means to make something happen, and that's what it seemed was happening here.

Ava, you are a beautiful, wonderful woman and like Shawn said, any man in his right mind would be thrilled to have you on his arm.  I know very well how difficult it is to put yourself out there and I'm proud of you for doing it.  I think the progress that you've seen in the last few months is amazing and inspiring and I know you will be fine whatever happens.

[2thetop]

i understand where everyones coming from.  and again, im sorry if i came across a lil harsh.  however, answer me something.  why do you do affirmations?  why do you say things like, i am a loving relationship with so and so?  why do you visualize you and so and so together?  here let me answer that and the rest that i could ask.  because you want to attract someone back.  you are virtually doing the same thing.  trying to do something to gain something.  i see that a guy asked her out on a date for her birthday.  i see that she was wanting a text from the guy she wants to attract on her birthday.  i also see a huge chance of her sitting around wondering a waiting for that text. 

now which one is more counter productive here?  to sit and worry or to go out with someone that wants to go out with you, and be honest enough with yourself and others to admit that you are also doing it because it may help you detach more and bring the person you want back, all the while raising your vibration because this other person wanted to go out with you. 

well i can tell you what i will advise someone every time.  to be honest, if some guy or gal thinks that one date is going to lead to marriage, its their bad. 

thats just my view.  i dont expect anyone to accept it.  i see where you all are coming from.  but i still see nothing wrong with what she did or phrasing it the way she did.  and i commend her for being honest enough to say that was part of why she was doing it. 

and the discussion is done for me on this 

[Believing Love]

As I said before Im sorry if i sound rude or anything,Im just pointing out my opinion on what I read. I may be the voices that bring her vibration down but im saying it out of love. Hey,Im not saying after one cup of coffee then it leads to marriage,I never day anything like that. Im just telling her to detach because she is totally attach to the outcome. I know with the whole story if you date someone it will bring ur vibration up etc but it wont guarranty you it will bring your Man back in ur life. That is what Im saying here,if you go out with a man just bcos u think u will get ur man back that will lead you to more desperation.

No im not going to come with question and being defensive .. Im just gonna wish you good luck ava on whatever you are doing hope it will bring your man back. I just have one suggestion for you ... Detach! And really detach from your heart.