TO be crystal clear.

[lise]

JUst to be crystal clear and to save repetition. I will respond to whoever I like and whenever I like. If people don't like that then I suggest they don't read the posts, its not exactly difficult is it.  The names of who has written are right there and plain to see.

Furthermore, if people believe that some people are beyond help or not capable of change then I suggest that perhaps your understanding of the loa is very different to mine.

What you give out good and bad is returned to you.

[irishgirl69]

Couldn't agree more.

[Mr positive]

i agree with you to which is why i still post to uploading bc wow the change has to come sometime! We are all human and been in his shoes minus the million questions from some of us! He is helpable if only he actually sees what hes doing wrong its up to him just like it was up to me to decide to change! No one else can decide for him!

[lise]

OUr feelings are our own responsibility, all the time not some of the time. No one makes us feel anything unless we let them.
If you feel dragged down by someones negativity its your choice to let it. Likewise someones positivity can only affect you if you let it.

Whether someone takes advice after its been asked for is up to them. Why are people so annoyed when advice isn't taken because you've wasted some time? Well don't bother next time. Do you want to help or do you want to think aren't I great with my wonderful advice? It's the same with any type of giving, do it cos you want to not cos you want something back.

[ToMeAndOnlyMe]

This forum is filled with very well meaning people who want the best for others.

My personal view on the situation that you're referring to is that I hate seeing a ship sink more and more no matter how much I or others try to plug the holes. Nobody here wants to see anyone's life go badly right before their eyes.

I don't think anyone wants anything from this forum that they can't accomplish themselves. I am the first that will say our feelings are our responsibility, this forum has been a great method for many people to redirect their life goals in the right path.

 I don't believe anyone in any of Up's post is frustrated with him because of an "aren't I great with my wonderful advice" mentality, it is more so that everyone wants him to be more responsible with himself. None of us can help him with that if he doesn't want to help himself, this is true, but there will always be people on this forum that want to help (including myself). However, due to human emotion, nobody likes seeing people get taken for a sucker and no one wants to feel like they are taken as one either.

Yes, we all go by LOA, but we're all at varying stages of it. All of our emotions vary from person to person whether it is giving advice or receiving it, this includes annoyance and frustration. Each poster has a different way of giving advice, whether the advice is gentle or tough and the way one receives either is different from person to person.

[lise]

I agree. Giving advice and receiving advice varies from person to person. However, I choose to reply to threads I want to or feel I can contribute to. but when I choose to reply to a thread and am pm  ed and advised (when ive not sought advice) not to reply because other members feel its a waste of time and people are negative and beyond hope, I choose to feel irrated by that. When I reply privately and publically that I feel differently in my opinion then I feel its not unreasonable that people agree to disagree on approaches to things.
When several weeks pass and yet another pm received asking/advising not to reply to someone when I've already, at least in my mind made my view on the unsolicted advise clear more than once, its my choice to feel mightily irritated.
I understood it the first time. I disagree. Keep repeating it won't make me change my mind. Hence the thread, I can't be arsed repeating myself every time . I'm saving everyone time. I'm not responding to pms about other posters.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

Why are you letting it bother you?  You have the ability to rise above it and feel positive don't you? 

If practicing the LOA, I would think posting this publicly would be thought of as negative but you are certainly free to post what you want. 

Either way, I hope you have had a wonderful weekend and a great new upcoming week!!   

[Ginny]

I totally respect your choice to continuing responding lise (wherever you like). I've stopped for basically the flip-side of your reasons for continuing (not because I think he's a troll) - I don't feel like I can add anything useful, and I am tired of debating, so am exercising my choice as to where I can be bothered to post. But if one day I had a sudden insight, and thought of something to say that I thought would actually make a difference and be genuinely helpful, then I would.

I think ToMeandOnlyMe is right about the source of frustration - I don't think it's a "wanting to be right" thing, I think it's exactly as she says, wanting to see him take responsibility (well, and on my part, occasionally thinking it's part of a rather tiresome game - but I go back and forth on that one, and often think he's genuine in his way).

Not really sure why I've posted here, except that I feel like I may have inadvertently kick-started things by pointing out some inconsistencies in his stories. I didn't want to initiate some kind of group-shunning (having been severely bullied in school, that's the last thing I'd want). I was asking because I wanted to know for myself, because I have a logic-oriented brain like that. I trust others on this forum to use their own judgement to decide where and when they want to post, and where they want to invest their energies trying to help.

[lise]

Well I shall try to explain not for the first time why it bothers me and why I posted the thread. Either I am not explaining myself clearly (which bothers me) or you're choosing to deliberately ignore what I have explained clearly and that also bothers me. Yes, my choice to be bothered by it.

I had stated my opinion on the threads - the ones that you cut and paste a response telling people not to reply. I thought at the time that I was clear then.

In your pms where you suggest

" It may be negative energy to you, but to me it is positive to warn people that he is just here to continuosly ask the same questions

By you responding to him and indulging him and encouraging him, he will only continue to troll around and suck the positive energy away from everyone who responds to him.

Most of us, want him gone.  Many have requested that Ankur remove him, and he has yet to do it.
Maybe if everyone just ignored him he would take his negativity somewhere else.
apologize if you find this negative but sometimes this is what needs to be done to remove a pesky bug that is buzzing and flying around our heads driving us all CRAZY!!!
Ok, I understand what you are saying but you also admit he annoys you also.

He is not the first person we have asked to leave this PUBLIC forum and he won't be the last....but I hope he is.

Fortunately, those others were removed.....yes, from this public forum! 

Now he needs to go, just imagine for a minute how much more peaceful this place will be with him no longer in it. 

We all get along great and wish the best for each other, we truly practice the LOA.......but he doesn't and that is why he doesn't belong here.  He is only here to get attention, the only attention I am giving him now is in an effort to have him removed. 

That's it, and I love reading your replies and posts, so I would never suggest you stop posting or helping people.  (well actually in your pms YOU ARE)

I just think continuing to post on his posts is encouraging him in his delusions and encouraging him to seek future attention. "

I replied to you privately - I explained then - then I disagreed and that I would continue to reply to him (and anyone else)

I find some of your posts to be snide and mean spiritied - so I made a decision to not read any of your posts so I wouldn't let them bother me.

But then I get yet again another pm suggesting I don't reply to him. I got the message on my phone, I didn't see who it was from - if I had, I may have just not bothered to open it but when the message to say I had a new pm, I assumed it was from someone else.

If you feel the need to pm everyone who replies on certain threads suggesting they don't reply that's your choice, if they choose to then do as you suggest that's their choice BUT when I feel I have made it clear my point of view - several times - then yes it does bother me - because I simply can't be arsed to keep repeating by pm what I've already said several times and I think it quicker to state openly to whoever this group of pm ers are that I unlike them (whoever they are?) I don't feel anyone is beyond help or hope and will continue to post to whoever I want until Ankur (whose forum it is) asks me not to or removes me.

If any of that is unclear either my reasons for being bothered or my point of view, then it's simply tough on me and anyone else. Any posts relating to me not speaking or responding to other people will be ignored.

[lise]

@Ginny. No not at all. Everyone has their own view. I'm not asking anyone to continue replying - their choice. I'm just sick of the whole "we" don't like it and you should stop mentally.

Your point " I trust others on this forum to use their own judgement to decide where and when they want to post, and where they want to invest their energies trying to help." is exactly right. You summed up why I am sick of being advised, particularly when I've not only not sought the advice but explicitly and repeatedly made my view clear.

[lashark]

This goes to the frustration of it, I think it stems from how we have all been too used to conditional love. I believe for a fact MOST people that comment or advise him even if frustrated when doing so, do it because they genuinely want to contribute to helping someone whom we see in "trouble". But when this person in "trouble" ignores or discards the advice and continues to be what we deem "troublesome" it angers people. Why in the world would that anger anyone unless you felt that this person had to act and behave a certain way in order for you to love and appreciate and feel content/satisfied with helping them?
That is sooo conditional. And we all do it on many levels. You want to be happy but you need a condition in order to be happy. You need to have the money and the body image and the soulmate, then youll be happy, wow even to loving ourselves we are conditional. Your bf/gf leaves you and you are angry but before you can love them they need to change the way they act, you want them back but before you can be happy they have to be at your side. There is nothing wrong with desires. We all have them but what Im saying is people are too conditional with their love for one another, for themselves and their happiness and actually I truly believe that is what holds so many stuck in that place of wanting and never recieving.

I think people get upset with uploading because he doesnt listen to them and then they think "Well here I put allll this energy in giving you advice and you do nothing with it, I wasted my time and blah blah blah, why cant you just listen, what is wrong with you, Im sure its not me, Im sure you are just a "bad" or "unappropriate" person, you need to do this and this so I can feel better about giving you advice because right now you arent doing what I want you to and it doesnt feel good, so change, so i can feel good" = thats exaggerated but I doubt far from the truth.

Ive been frustrated with him at times, but I learned how to love unconditionally and not allow the actions and opinions of others to dictate my feelings Ive also learned that I dont need to control any situation with my actions in order to feel good and trust me on this, by feeling good, the situations change on their own.

I just find this interesting and Im an NOT excluding myself from what I write, but really this has just shown how conditioned we are when it comes to being happy. Even with helping a fellow human being. If anything LOA shows, it shows you can feel good now. You may not have the car, but you want it because it will feel better, so feel like you have it and feel better now, then not having it wont matter, then the car shows up. That forumla fits into every single desire. He may not care about a damn thing you say, but does he really have to in order for you to like him let alone be happy? or content that you offered someone advice or that his existance/presence/attitude is appropriate? What you resist, persists. by declaring someone annoying or inappropriate you are pushing against what you dont like and that vibration is with you and your point of attraction and to top it off it doesnt feel good! Why put up with not feeling good? Are the reasons we use really worth not feeling good? Are we not worth feeling good always?

Take responsibility for your emotions. It effects manifestation big time and it feels good, and that alone is good enough reason for me. Feeling good. Im worth it and its what we are all after in the end anyways. Happiness.

[Ginny]

@lise - just to clarify that your previous post (reply 8 ) wasn't directed at me, lest others think that I've been sending you lots of PMs. I don't think I've ever sent you a PM, and definitely not to tell you where you should or shouldn't post! (I'd hate to be thought of as a PM-spammer! )

[Ginny]

lashark, I think you've really hit the nail on the head. I think a lot of people (possibly most? I know it's true for me) like to post because they like to help. It feels good to help, you get a little buzz of happiness when you think you've said something useful, and an even bigger buzz if the person comes back and confirms that. So, in a way, this trying to help thing is totally selfish

But then, in a case like this, you dole out your "help", and instead of getting a nice little buzz of appreciation, you get more questions, debate, complaints, etc. And, as you say, if you were totally okay with yourself and didn't have the issues with conditional love, this wouldn't matter at all. Okay, so I didn't get my "I said something really useful that helped someone" buzz - so what? I have enough happiness in me that I don't need all these little external buzzes (note, it doesn't mean that I want to continue posting on his threads - I'm still being selfish, and I still don't get anything out of them apart from debate which I find tedious. And since it doesn't seem to benefit him either, there doesn't seem to be a lot of point in me responding to his threads. I just mean, it doesn't matter either way, it all starts inside)

Really good post lashark, thanks for that

[lise]

Sorry Ginny, just to clarify - no it wasn't aimed at you. You were writing your post whilst I was writing mine and mine just happened to post after yours, it wasn't in response to yours.

[RealCrimsonDynamo]

It is possible to ignore members.

Go to Account Summaries....then click buddies...drag to modify profiles then click buddies/ignore list
Click Edit Ignore list the Add to ignore list. 

I think this may make both sides happy.  The ones that want to respond can and the ones that don't want to even know what's going and have their buzzes harshed will be in total oblivion.  WIN/WIN