Hmmmm i don't know what to make of what he said to me

[ellebelle]

This isn't exactly an LOA question, but I really need some help. My ex and I are now dating again and he's just gone home. We had a bit of a heart to heart conversation and he told me that he feels like all he talks about is himself and that I never open up to him. He says I never talk about myself and that when we were together I always spoke about what I was doing and what I wanted to do. The thing that really upset me? He said that even though he knows everything about me, he feels like I'm sometimes a stranger to him. 

It was a bit of a wake up call for me. I've realised I'm literally scared of telling him things about myself and I have no idea why. Does anybody know why this could be? I feel comfortable around him, but I just refrain from speaking about my day and how I feel. It feels like I know what to say in my head but if I ever try and speak about it, I can't phrase it right.. It's really got me down, especially the stranger comment. Before he left he said, "I love you. I don't want us to fall apart." How can I open up to him more? My days are pretty slow nowadays, I go to college and study A-levels, looking for employment after losing my previous job. I rarely see my friends, due to location issues.. It sounds stupid but I don't have a lot to open to.. 

[CityOfDavid]

This isn't exactly an LOA question, but I really need some help. My ex and I are now dating again and he's just gone home. We had a bit of a heart to heart conversation and he told me that he feels like all he talks about is himself and that I never open up to him. He says I never talk about myself and that when we were together I always spoke about what I was doing and what I wanted to do. The thing that really upset me? He said that even though he knows everything about me, he feels like I'm sometimes a stranger to him. 

It was a bit of a wake up call for me. I've realised I'm literally scared of telling him things about myself and I have no idea why. Does anybody know why this could be? I feel comfortable around him, but I just refrain from speaking about my day and how I feel. It feels like I know what to say in my head but if I ever try and speak about it, I can't phrase it right.. It's really got me down, especially the stranger comment. Before he left he said, "I love you. I don't want us to fall apart." How can I open up to him more? My days are pretty slow nowadays, I go to college and study A-levels, looking for employment after losing my previous job. I rarely see my friends, due to location issues.. It sounds stupid but I don't have a lot to open to.. 

You can never say the wrong thing to the right person...just say what's in your head and follow thru, a conversation takes two, so if you begin stating what's on your mind as he listens he can chime in and empathize or feel where you're coming from even though you may feel or think that you're not "phrasing it right"

Just be you with no worries and focus on the positive things about your reunion with him and the positive and good things you look forward to, you create your reality with your thoughts so think good thoughts and visualize the two of you having great heart to hearts, with all things takes time and with time things will get better and better each time out you guys open up to each other....

[Mr Brightside]

Place yourself in situations where you can open up more. My gf was the same way, she was shy, i knew she loved me but i would always tell her to just say whats on her mind. So we started to do things she enjoyed ; sports, camping, read the same book etc..
Find something you are both interested in and its going to be a huge gateway for other things. The convo starts flowing more easily, and that just keeps getting better and better. Not only does the conversation get better but you get out of that talking how work/school was every day. Might sound stupid and simple but just try it.

[Mr Brightside]

Also dont look at what he said as a negative.. take it as i love you and would love to see even more of what you have inside.

[simplyjess]

This isn't exactly an LOA question, but I really need some help. My ex and I are now dating again and he's just gone home. We had a bit of a heart to heart conversation and he told me that he feels like all he talks about is himself and that I never open up to him. He says I never talk about myself and that when we were together I always spoke about what I was doing and what I wanted to do. The thing that really upset me? He said that even though he knows everything about me, he feels like I'm sometimes a stranger to him. 

About being scared of telling him things about yourself: Everyone has a little black box that holds certain things about themselves. It may not be comfortable digging deep and sharing them. Time is a huge factor here with regards to being ready to share. This varies from people to people and it's totally fine if you may take longer than him to open up. Personally, I am able to express a lot more through writing, so something I'd do to tell him more about myself is to write him a letter/card to express what's in my little black box. What he said shows that he loves and wants to understand you. It is important to tell him that it's just a learning process you're going through, and that would help him understand you better. 

I understand what you are feeling, because I too, worry about phrasing things right. It's not just when I'm with him, it happens when I'm in class too. When you say you can't "phrase it right", how is the experience like? For example, does it feel like you have a LOT to say but it's just not coming out? Or is it something different?

[ellebelle]

Thanks guys, I guess I know it's a sign he loves me but it suprised me. I may also try visualizing.

I'm also better at writing about the way I feel. Like everything I've typed in this thread, I wouldn't be able to phrase right if I spoke it. So it's like I always have so much much to say, but when I try and say it, it sounds.. wrong? It gets me so mad that I can never express myself properly to him.

[chrissy8907]

I would defiantly take what he said as a positive. He told you his honest feelings what a wonderful man you have I think you have to look inside and see why you are afraid to open up? What to you think will happen ? It seems as your a wonderful person and he obviously knows it so just stay positive and open your heart to whatever you have or want to say and it will grow from there positive loving energy your way