I would say the end of June is when I really started on my journey of self-awareness, and conscious living. I had been with my now ex-boyfriend for about 6 months, and the beginnings of our relationship were bliss :-) He is in his early 40s, and I am in my mid 20s, but we have like spirits and a deep connection that is really incredible--almost overwhelming!
But during the time of our relationship I was not living as a conscious, spiritual person. I had always been raised around spirituality, and karma, but about 2 years ago money and popularity became so important to me :-/ I was so focused on attainting material possessions, and hanging around materialistic people (something most 20 somethings go through). I felt like I was attracting negative energy and situations in my life :-/ And he (my ex) began to feel it too. He tried to pull me out of it but I resisted. We started to argue daily, and to make a long story short I treated him like crap! Shouted him down, accused him, refused to hangout with him, our connection really fell off...
Then he had to leave the country for business for a few weeks and came back with a new attitude... that the relationship was too stressful and he no longer thought we were compatible! The ironic thing is that during his time away I became more spiritual, let go of all negative energy, baggage, friends, and reconnected with loved ones, read The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, Feel It Real, started meditating, felt the love of the universe. I just knew that when he returned we would reconnect and have the best relationship ever. I felt so vibrationally high, so energized, so LOVING! It was amazing.
Then out of the blue, right before he arrived I had a dream that we broke up. Did not know why at the time, but I now know that it was my intuition revealing a forthcoming event. So he gets back and we break up and I am devastated! He tells me he loves me, and is still in love with me, but that he needs time alone because he didn't expect our relationship to turn out like this. He says I became a different person, and that this isn't the girl he fell in love with.
Of course I want him back. I HAVE changed and I want the opportunity to show him this. But right now he says he's hurting and needs space. So a few days ago I sent him a text saying I "yes we both need space", etc. He called me and told me he loves me, that this isn't easy, but that while he was away he had time to think and this is what his soul needs. He said he misses me like crazy but he can't imagine being in a relationship with me right now :-/ (He is also a little stubborn lol)
I feel this man is my soulmate but that timing is off... I want to start attracting him back so I've stopped calling, texting, and I know in a few days he will call. I am now working on myself again, becoming centered, getting enough rest, and giving love everyday. I sometimes sleep in his old t-shirts and visualize him coming back to me starting a new loving relationship. I've started online dating, but nothing serious and working on my beauty inside and out. We have mutual friends so I know I will see him in a few weeks... at a party probably. I want to look beautiful and radiate love and maybe we have a chance for reconciliation
Thanks for reading my story!! I know it's long. I hope I am doing the right things to attract my ex again because I feel that I am. What do you think?