Stuck in

[Lika]

Hi everybody,

Need advice from you.

I started talking on skype with my guy and the first time we had nice conversation (general, but nice) . After that he skyped me just to ask one information from me and I gave it to him and he said "Thank you" and that was it!

Today I initiated the skype contact again and I was the one who was asking the questions and he was answering shortly and worst of all he didn't ask me a single question back. He was not interested in me at all. Not interested how am I doing, am I ok...things like that.

I know that most of you will say that I need to be grateful for speaking again, but I must emphasize that me and my guy had a great relationship, we didn't fight or cheat on each other. We respect both very much, and I was expecting him to talk to me on skype.

But now our talk is so distant, he is not the one who initiates the talk, I am. He is not asking me questions, or anything, he just replays briefly on mine...

What should I do? Maybe stop talking to him anymore?

I can feel that he is not into me at all... I promised myself that I am not going to think of him anymore, but I can't. 

[irishgirl69]

If you'd re-read what you wrote, you'd see what the problem is - you were expecting him to talk to you.  It's been said over and over again that you (a collective you, not you personally) need to let go of your expectations. 

There are a million possible reasons why he was acting that way and they could have nothing to do with you.  Or they could have everything to do with you.  The thing you need to focus on is letting go.  Letting go of expectations, of him, of anything that is an attempt to make something work.

Go look at Mariposa's post with the diagram illustrating the important of letting go.  It's brilliant. 

I've said it time and time again on this forum - only initiate contact when you are completely detached from the outcome.  And you're not.  If you were, it wouldn't bother you that he hasn't asked any questions.  I haven't had any contact with my guy in over a month.  The other day I commented on his Facebook status and left it at that.  If he had liked it or commented on it, that would be great (he hasn't), but it doesn't matter to me.  I know that when he saw my comment, he thought of me, and I hope he chuckled or smiled at what I wrote (it's an inside joke).  But if he doesn't acknowledge it at all, that's okay.

I know it takes a while to fully let go and detach.  Trust me, there are days that I backslide.  But I truly think it's when you are able to detach WITHOUT the thought of it manifesting anything, that's when you know you're there. 

If you want him to talk to you, my suggestion would be to visualize him contacting you, him talking to you on skype or wherever rather than you trying to force something to happen.

[Chantal]

I agree with the post above. I think you are too attached to the outcome and still care too much for him. Wait untill he initiates contact with you and if he don't, then KNOW that you are valuable. And not because he does not contacts you, but you already have shown enough love (I suppose ) to him, I did sent my ex 2,5 weeks ago a sms with "thank you!" he called me the day thereafter, we chatted for half an hour. But that is, I suppose, because I MEANT what I said by thank you . You can learn so much of this situation! It is a great oppurtionity to get to KNOW yourself! I just realized this today and really want to share this sense with you, after 5,5 months after my break up (7 years relationship), but I KNOW you ARE great, and loving and everything you WANT! And you shouldnot waste energy on someone who does not want to see that. And if he will see that, then that is great! But again, do not be too attached to the outcome. Trust the Universe, it will deliver you exactly what you need, if dont what you asked for, even better!!

[57angel]

I agree with Irishgirl and Chantal Let him miss you, let him feel that your world doesn't evolve for him alone Just focus on your desired outcome, continue making yourself the best and the happiest that you can be! Work inwards, let go all of the negative feelings associated with your relationship with him. It has a perfect and right time, just keep on believing

[Lika]

Thnaks guys,

You are all right when you are saying this. I need to let go and eventually I will. The thing is that it is not that easy. I don;t know do you have the same feeling, but when I think of him and me together, something is happening to me, I can fell like something worm is covering my body. And I keep affirming this just to feel that feeling, that energy. Maybe I need to stop thinking about him and affirming, having in mind that I already told the Universe what I want.

But I have a paradox here, how to visualize or affirming and let go at the same time?

My thinking of this is that I need to stop affirming and visualizing, but what if that means not getting what I want/

I don't know....

[Chantal]

Hi Lidja,

That is a very good question indeed! Because also what I recognize is that the visualization, affirming and meditation make the letting go part worse. I know exactly what you mean! It is easier to give someone else advice... ghehe, then to let go for yourself. I suppose it just takes time, even when you are visualizing, affirming and do meditations. Those 3 things are I suppose meant to make YOU a stronger person. That is what I am discovering, even if I only am doing it for a week, it makes me feel SO MUCH better. And I KNOW there will be a moment where both of us, just LOVE ourselves enough and just do not care about the outcome. Because LOVE attracts LOVE, we will meet sweet new friends, people, even a boyfriend better then our ex, or, if meant to be and if that still is what we are sending to the Universe, our own boyfriend. Keep on doing the affirmations and visualisations, and if you do meditate, i have a great (I thought it was great) Youtube song for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBVi2TCHb64

[Believing Love]

Hi Lidja

in my experience
there's no way to visualize and affirmation on the same time of letting go
I cant detach from the outcome everytime i still telling my self about the affirmation and visualize yet I send him energy balls .. I still attached to the outcome, hoping that this will work.
You will able to let go when you feel that You've done enough of Affirmation,visualization and Energy balls ( if you do it ) .. You will feel relax and comfort and probably you will think it's a sign of giving up,which is actually not .. You're letting  go. Your subconscious has understand your affirmation and visualization .. so that is time when you will manifest everything that you have feed your subconscious. 

From your story I could really tell that You are still very attach,dear
Not to worry .. i believe soon you will understand the understanding of letting go

[Lika]

Chantal and Believing Love,

I agree completely with both of you. I also think that affirming and visualizing is not Let go and can't be done at the same time.

Believing Love  this part "You will feel relax and comfort and probably you will think it's a sign of giving up,which is actually not .. You're letting  go" is the great thought. I like it!
I am afraid that if I stop affirming and visualizing I am giving up on us! That is why I am still attached !

[irishgirl69]

I personally do think that you can affirm and visualize and be detached, but I don't think that's where you are.  If you are afraid NOT to do those things because then you won't get him back, then you are definitely not detached.  However, I absolutely think it's possible to detached and still visualize and affirm - when you are in that place, you are simply doing those things because they feel good or are natural, not from a place of trying to make something happen.  I'm definitely feeling more detached but I also find that I miss doing things like sending him the energy ball because of how it made ME feel, so I suspect that I will begin to do that again simply for that reason.

I think the biggest thing to remember when applying LOA to anything we want to manifest, is to not do anything in an effort to make something happen.  If we visualize, affirm, etc., it should come from a place that is natural and not forced.

[lashark]

When you affirm and visualize and send love balls (lol) because it feels good, then you are on the right track shifting your focus onto yoru happiness and therefore ALLOWING yoru desires to manifest physically because vibrationally it's DONE.

But if you are doing that stuff to make something happen and change it shows you have a vibration within you that is aware of it's absence, and when you are aware of something's absence you can't see it's presence at the same time. 

The mind is such a powerful thing, I know alot of people still doubt and I don't have much advice for that...

You may not have the lover/money/health now, but you can be happy and FEEL it now, and when you feel something, it's presence then, must show. It is law.

It pretty much comes down to feeling and believing.
A belief is just a thought you keep thinking so that's easy to change.
Now feeling it, requires some discipline (hope I spelled that right). It's easy to offer your vibrations and feelings about what you see and don't see it takes a strong focus to offer them by feeling your desires when imagining them.

 

[Lika]

Chantal I was reading about meditation and again practice seems much harder then theory

I want to ask you for any tips about meditation (how to get faster in meditation mode) and how long did take for you to put yourself in that mode.

I want to meditate but it is very hard to focus without to be disturbed by other thoughts.

I know that I should allow those thoughts to pass in and out, but again it is hard to chase them away

[Chantal]

Heej Lidija,

That is a good question! I am practicing it for only 1,5 week or so... so I am not THAT experienced. But what I experienced, was, that if you just hold on to it (I am meditating not very long again, also not very long time, think about 20 minutes a do) I suppose it will just "happen". I recognize I am getting in kind of a trance after a few minutes, which did not happened the first few times I did it. And I understand that you'll have thoughts while doing it, what I got as an advice, just let them pass by, and try to recall yourself back to the inhaling, outhaling, I am practicing (by suggestion) Kundalini energy. You can have a look at google if you like.

I'll try to explain how I do experience Kundalini, you should visualize that a light ball passes your entire spine, going to your subconcious mind and at the front lab out of your head... what I recognized if I do visualizations there after, that the visualizations are easier to do. So just hold on (and I'll do that too...deal? )

[Lika]

hey Chantal,

I am doing something similar, and essential during the meditation to visualize yourself in that ball of light.

Well...the problem is that I can not focus to see myself in that ball ( and putting that ball between my eyebrows is even harder)

I guess I need to keep trying )

I can reach the state of calmness and everything, but making picture of myself ...hahha ..it is a challenge

Best luck to you! You can PM if you have any tips regarding meditation
 

[angel_star]

Hey dear Lidija,

Different people have different ways to meditate. It could be unique from person to person. Meditation essentially means feeling at peace with yourself, calming your mind, releasing the thoughts and feeling connected to the source. So meditation is a state that we get into, its not a technique itself. To get into that state, different people have different practices. I was reading in a book the other day that any guru who promises to teach you the 'best' way to meditate has no idea about meditation because there is not just a single way to meditate, there are many...Meditation does not necessarily mean you sit cross-legged, close your eyes, chant, etc. Thats just one way of meditating which works great with some people and doesnt work at all with others. Now to decide whats the best way to meditate for 'you', you have to find out what puts you at peace, detachment and bliss. For instance, when I dance, I just have no thoughts on my mind whatsoever. Everytime, after I dance, I feel amazed that as long as I was dancing I really wasn't thinking anything at all. I would have let go completely, and I feel absolutely centered and balanced. Thats my way to meditate. I read a story about a monk who said 'For me, work is meditation'. Some of my friends say they get into meditative state when they go for morning walks. So its really your choice. If you feel peaceful and detached when you close your eyes and focus on your breathing, by all means do it. If you feel that way when listening to music, do it. When, by doing any particular thing, you feel you have let go of yourself completely and have surrendered to the Higher Force, know that you have entered the meditative state, and that's the perfect way to meditate for you

[Lika]

Thanks angel_star,

You always know how to see thing from better perspective

I agree that meditation means calming your mind from any thought. Since I started to do classical meditation, I think is better for me to stick to it

I really don't have any experience with meditation, so I only see dark, no visualizations at all, but I guess that is ok as well