Author Topic: STOP trying to get Him/Her back or Attract that 'specific' person ... (Read 6034 times)

vpsean · « **on:** April 15, 2011, 12:07:05 PM »

Hey Guys,

Okay, this is going to be very strong and harsh for some of you ... but I think it's something you need to hear. Heck, I needed to hear it and did in fact hear it many times throughout the years as I was looking for that perfect 'someone,' (whom you can now see in my Avatar pic ... and if you want to know about our meeting read up on the post 'How I Met my Twin Flame from Across the World through Twitter' ;-)

Here's how the manifestation of any goal, no matter how big or small, works at a very basic level

* It is both initiated and maintained by you.

Meaning, the goal has to be created completely by you ... it has to be started by you ... and must continue being given the 'effort' and 'intention' and 'action by you. This includes goals for finding or attracting that perfect person you believe to be is for you ... including the person you might want to 'get back,' for those of you whom broke up with someone and want them back ...

Now listen, I know ... I KNOW how difficult it can be when you're in the midst of that feeling of desire for a specific person. It's hard! I'm not going to pretend it's not ... because if you're in that place of desire ... than you're in a specific type of place in your life where, what's really going on at a much deeper level, is you are lacking a sense of 'wholeness' to yourself when it comes to the relationship with yourself. Later on if you have the intention that you will become more and more full within yourself and develop a greater sense of self-love where you don't 'need' someone else to make you happy, or that not having someone specifically is making you upset, then you can definitely get there, and eventually it won't be 'hard' to release the intense desire for a specific person ...

But for those of you that do have that experience of raging, firey and burning passionate desire for someone ... you need to read this message, and read it over and over again until you get it:

Let it go!

The person you want isn't truly that person you imagine it to be. It's the idea of what that person would bring in your life ... or the idea of what they did bring in your life once before, but now doesn't.

Consider this .... when you think about being with that person, what are you seeing your head? Are you seeing you two laughing together? Having fun together? Playing together? Cuddling together? Making love together?

Most likely your answer is yes to some, if not all of that ... so let's go a step deeper ...

What feelings do all those things arise within you? Do you imagine a sense of joy? A sense of contentment? Fulfillment? Peace? Happiness?

If so then the case is, as I suggested earlier, that you're lacking a true sense of love for yourself .... because it is through 'self-love' that all those experiences truly come to be. Sure, others can be 'part of it,' but unless we truly develop self-love, there will always be a problem. Besides, if you're attracting someone from this place of lack and near desperation ... than once you have them in your life, those feelings will just be hidden through the facade of a different route -- they will turn into jealousy at every glance that partner gives another person ... or anxiousness that they're going to lead you ... or feelings of unworthiness, and that you don't deserve them ....

Those experiences, those feelings within, they morph!

So what's one to do? Well, starting to love yourself for who you are is a great step. How do you do that? I won't get into it here because it's an entire subject by itself and there are plenty of resources to develop that love (I'd recommend checking out You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay) ...

So that's step 1 ... focusing on the love for yourself and doing whatever it takes to develop that love ...

Next, and in the process of doing that ... You CAN focus on attracting someone into your life ... but stop trying to attract someone to fulfill you ... start focusing on finding someone that tops you off (meaning, you're 100%, and when they come in your life it's like the cherry on top to get 111%). Think of the specific qualities of the person you've been feeling a burning desire for. Write those qualities. NOT the person, the qualities ... what you love about them. Once you've done that, get that person out of your head and SINCERELY focus on attracting someone with those qualities into your ...

Does this mean we should never, ever, go after one person specifically? No, it actually doesn't, contrary to the way this post may seem. But what it does mean is we never go after a person with those feelings of lack, desperation and neediness. For those of you that are experiencing those feelings, the best thing you can do is to get that person out of your head entirely because all it is doing at this point is fueling those feelings of lack, desperation and neediness. Get fulfilled within first. Become strong within. Come to love yourself first. Start with you ... and then attract the qualities of the person you wish to Manifest.

And most of all, have faith that you can get to this point in your life that is so full of self-love that you no longer NEED someone else ... because you're fulfilled. It is from that place that you'll likely find your ideal relationship.

Do share your thoughts and let me know if you have any questions. I know this post comes across very strong ... but I do it because I care.

With Love & Gratitude,
--Sean Patrick Simpson
www.AdventuresInManifesting.org

orenjiblue · « **Reply #1 on:** April 15, 2011, 06:06:31 PM »

This is very helpful. Thanks for posting this.

Self-love is very fulfilling. In my case, I love someone who is famous and he lives in another country. Although there are lots of other people who admire him, I always feel secured. I always ask myself about what I like about him and why, but not the reason why I fell for him -- frankly, there is no actual reason. I'm always in touch with myself so it's like, the more I let go, the more I feel good and the more he comes back. I don't know why, but it's as if we can connect somehow although we've never met before.

Miracles · « **Reply #2 on:** April 15, 2011, 08:37:16 PM »

I love it!! Thank you for sharing!!

Pankti V. Kohli · « **Reply #3 on:** April 15, 2011, 10:17:14 PM »

this post really helps..thnk you

hey orenjiblue I am kind of in a same boat as you I have self love, its not that I fell in complete or anything without his... I also dont have any reason why I fell in love with him. I was very insecure in my first relationship thts wht cause me and my b/f of 3 years to break up. But with this new famous guy I dont feel tht way,even if he has lot of female fan following and all...Something within me tell me tht he is my man.
I wanted to aks u when u said " I let go, the more I feel good and the more he comes back"...what u mean by more he comes back ....like do have any contact with him?

thnx

schenderson22 · « **Reply #4 on:** April 16, 2011, 02:47:52 AM »

@vpsean,

While you make several good points, I disagree that you can't manifest the relationship you desire with the one you desire. There are several success stories here. It is the main reason people join. Then they find how much they grow and decide to work on other areas of their lives.

orenjiblue · « **Reply #5 on:** April 16, 2011, 06:04:34 AM »

Quote from: Pankti V. Kohli on April 15, 2011, 10:17:14 PM

this post really helps..thnk you

hey orenjiblue I am kind of in a same boat as you I have self love, its not that I fell in complete or anything without his... I also dont have any reason why I fell in love with him. I was very insecure in my first relationship thts wht cause me and my b/f of 3 years to break up. But with this new famous guy I dont feel tht way,even if he has lot of female fan following and all...Something within me tell me tht he is my man.
I wanted to aks u when u said " I let go, the more I feel good and the more he comes back"...what u mean by more he comes back ....like do have any contact with him?

thnx

About the letting go part, I'm letting go of all the worries and fears that I may have in attracting him. The most common obstacle is the "It's impossible to marry him. He's famous, etc. What makes you think he'll marry you?" I let go of all the negative feelings and just focus on what I want. I don't even worry if some people think it's just a fleeting thing. The things to always watch out for are signs, because it's a way that the universe or even he converses to you. And if ever you find it hard to believe that you can end up together because people say it's "impossible", just think of the countless inventions that will be nonexistent today if their creators believed so.

The thing you feel when it's him, is it confidence and/or security? Like you're calm that you're gonna be with him? If so, that's good.

Also be sure that you want him and only him, so you can focus all of your attention to attracting him and that you won't be sending mixed signals. Hope I was able to help!

DH4-everhappyinlove · « **Reply #6 on:** April 16, 2011, 06:14:04 AM »

Thanks Sheri

I 100% agree with you...I don't have to say anything...cause I am living proof.

Pankti V. Kohli · « **Reply #7 on:** April 16, 2011, 06:30:38 AM »

thnak alot orenjiblue

You helped me alot....

yes universe has been giving me signs, like before I used to think that there is no way it can be possible, and I was the one one being silly. But since I asked universe for signs, it did provide me. I have came across the success story of someone who has been successfully manifested some football players intrest in her.. so that gave me lot of faith....
Some one added me randomly on facebook that is from same city as him, and is good frnds with his team mate..and many more small signs....I am very gratefull for those signs as it made me belive it completely. I am glad that I joined the this form...

So yah I know it will happen for sure....He is man and in my reality I am already his girl and we are happily married couple....

But the only thing is tht he is always on my mind...so I think I am not able to let it go completly.

orenjiblue · « **Reply #8 on:** April 16, 2011, 06:47:45 AM »

Well, it is normal for one to always think of the person he/she desires, but just don't release the feeling of too much needing 'cause sometimes, the more you project the need for something, it means that you still don't have it yet.

vpsean · « **Reply #9 on:** April 16, 2011, 06:50:59 AM »

Quote from: schenderson22 on April 16, 2011, 02:47:52 AM

@vpsean,

While you make several good points, I disagree that you can't manifest the relationship you desire with the one you desire. There are several success stories here. It is the main reason people join. Then they find how much they grow and decide to work on other areas of their lives.

Hey Schenderson,

Thank you for disagreeing! It creates good discussion :-)

Actually, I agree with you ... and I might have miscommunicated in my post through the passion of trying to get through to the people who are primarily in that very strong sense of 'lust.'

It's definitely not 'impossible,' to attract a certain person ... what I would argue though is still the importance of going beyond the person with your goal ... because after all, the one's who people did 'attract' when they had the intention of getting the other person ... there must have been some want or desire within the other person too ...

Those people were fortunate that was the case.

It can be a very dangerous line however for people to get so intent on getting one specific person while not considering all the many angles. What if it's not for the best and highest good for you to have that person in your life? What if it's not for the best and highest good for THAT person. What if it's not for the best and highest good for that persons GIRLFRIEND or boyfriend?

A great addition to any goal, including relationships such as this is, "This or something better."

I have a personal example.

In 2007 I became the apprentice and remained one for a couple years, to one of the most famous of teachers from the movie The Secret. For reasons I won't get into here, I won't publicize who that person is ...

The main point though about this is that merely months before I created a vision board and put intense focus on several things. Here's the main 'test' that lead me to the apprenticeship:

"My fellow friends and empowerers" <-- Surrounded by faces of teachers from the secret, transformational leadership council, and other empowering people.

"Take under the Wing of ..." <-- Literally, not being 'specific' with a person but allowing the Universe to provide at it's will ... and

"The Apprentice of ________," <-- And there I did write down the name of the person I intended.

What you can see in these specific goals is several fold :

1. I did have a specific intention of a person to become the apprentice of.
2. I was willing to understand he might not be available for the apprenticeship.
3. I put my intentions and energy on other highly conscious people.

It's entirely possible the person I intended couldn't have an 'apprentice' at that time ... it's entirely possible he already had one.

Long story short, within a couple months I came to work at this persons company for a year and half which led me to many, incredible things, including a successful metaphysical and personal development publishing company, a 2 months course for both veterans and newcomers to the Law of Attraction called Adventures in Manifesting, and surrounded with incredible people I now call dear friends and family from the Transformational Leadership council.

Can everyone here see how this relates to your intentions with specific relationships?

Schenderson, back to the point of this reply: thanks for calling me out on that point of not being able to attract a specific person ... I agree with you, it's possible ... but in case it's not for the highest good of all involved, let's raise the power of our intentions to allow the universe to bring into our life what's even beyond what we can see ... if it's for the highest good of all concerned....

With Love & Gratitude,
--Sean Patrick Simpson
www.AdventuresInManifesting.org

vpsean · « **Reply #10 on:** April 16, 2011, 06:52:18 AM »

Quote from: orenjiblue on April 16, 2011, 06:47:45 AM

Well, it is normal for one to always think of the person he/she desires, but just don't release the feeling of too much needing 'cause sometimes, the more you project the need for something, it means that you still don't have it yet.

Another great point! Thanks Orenji for contributing to the conversation.

With Love & Gratitude,
--Sean Patrick Simpson
www.AdventuresInManifesting.org

bravelioness · « **Reply #11 on:** April 16, 2011, 10:02:34 AM »

@vpsean-LOA doesn't care whether something is good or bad for you.If it did,then people wouldn't get sick,meet accidents,or simply have bad things happening to them.It is very obedient.It's just like a photocopying machine.It copies exactly what you project in the universe.

Only the person knows what's best for him/her.

vpsean · « **Reply #12 on:** April 16, 2011, 05:05:31 PM »

Hey Bravelioness,

I'm confused where you're getting that I'm suggesting the LOA cares whether it's good or bad for people, or the idea that only the person knows what's best for him/her?

I agree with all those points.

What part of my post gave the impression to you otherwise? Perhaps I miscommunicated something ...

With Love & Gratitude,
--Sean Patrick Simpson
www.AdventuresInManifesting.org

boomergirl · « **Reply #13 on:** April 16, 2011, 05:52:19 PM »

http://youtu.be/UhCH6fYLk_U?hd=1

I believe what's highest good for all involved is what is....otherwise it wouldn't be happening. Just trust that it is.

Once you've found that deep connection with someone ..no matter what happens, and you feel it is still there it's worth not giving up on.

In the book, "The Power". Rhonda Byrne states, "get yourself onto the highest frequency of good feelings that you can, and the force of love will resolve the situation for you."

Magdog, MD, Mr. Best Luck · « **Reply #14 on:** April 16, 2011, 11:08:36 PM »

Quote from: boomergirl on April 16, 2011, 05:52:19 PM

http://youtu.be/UhCH6fYLk_U?hd=1

In the book, "The Power". Rhonda Byrne states, "get yourself onto the highest frequency of good feelings that you can, and the force of love will resolve the situation for you."

Honestly, I think that those who are on here to sell their product do not want to really address this area other than to sell their product, manifesting a specific event can be easy or can be otherwise depending on the emotional state of the individual and the vibration and the letting go. Gratitude is a must. The authors of these threads are offering an alternative at a price, they are selling and they believe to sell their products they put a spin, their spin on the universe.

MD, Mr. Best Luck, Humble and Grateful