Stomping negative thoughts...how?

[gogetter]

Hi

So this past weekend I said goodbye to my ex husband who I am separated from. He came to visit before he left and moved back to his family, 4000 miles away. The entire time he was here I condoned him getting high (he is addicted to weed and mega verbally abusive without it) in order for the children to have a peaceful visit with him. I tried hard not to get upset myself. And I felt relieved when he left.

But now that he is around his toxic family, he is being caught up in their negativity and hatred towards me and he is putting these feelings onto me when we talk. My question is this though...my mind is constantly going to dark, worst case scenarios about him. I keep thinking of terrible things happening and awful things his family may try and do to me, to try and encourage him to take his children away from me, etc. None of these things are likely to happen BUT my mind won't stop going there.

I keep shaking myself out of these thoughts and re-focus my mind to think of happy, positive things and I even try and engage myself in positive activities, like creative work or a nice long soak in the tub.

But no matter how much I try and stay on a positive wavelength and mindset, the dark and gloomy stuff always looms and tries to sneak in.

any ideas on how to keep all these bad, what if scenarios out of my head?

I do not want to draw anything bad to me and I am getting worried and anxious that I am somehow doing that by my own lack of self mind control.

[lise]

I would try to not be too hard on yourself. It's human nature to be upset and you can't be upbeat all the time. I think it's ok to be to negative and give in and be upset as long as it doesn't take over. You're aware of it and doing what you can to change these thoughts. I think as long as you are aware and trying then that's good - you are stomping on them - and the more you stomp the less power they will have.

I think doing anything to distract yourself is good - whether it's a bath, reading a book or seeing friends. Try to think about you and not him and his negative family - you can't control them or him or but you can try and control you.

I try as I'm going to sleep to ask my subconscious to help me get over my negative thoughts and give me ideas to help me be more postive.

[gogetter]

Thanks.

I expel alot of the dark stuff by writing and getting it out. I used to bounce all of my daily feelings and thoughts off my ex-best friend but I recently discovered that she actually loathed me and my "pity parties" so I removed her from my life. I am now feeling very lonely and finding a site like this to express myself and my feelings on is wonderful and I am grateful to everyone here listening.

Thanks for your nice thoughts and positive reinforcement.

I also wanted to ask, what does it mean when the universe CLEARLY shows you a sign. I did not ask for anything specific (or maybe I asked a question subconsiously?) but yet this morning I was thinking about somone from my past, someone who died many years ago...I was having nice thoughts about him and a particular phrase came to mind. It is not a super common phrase but definitely a phrase I was specifically pondering over and saying over and over in my head. So what does it mean and is this a clear and obvious sign (of what?): I was randomly looking for a video on youtube a few hours after thinking about this phrase. And what do I find on youtube? That exact phrase! I was not looking for the phrase or anything about it but yet all of a sudden the phrase was there in a video of something not even related to what I had been searching for!!

That is so clearly a sign I feel...but of what?

[lise]

Well I think signs are generally what you interpret them to mean so the same thing could have different meanings to different people. However, regarding yours - at the most basic level - I would take that as confirmation that you attract what you think about. You were thinking about the phrase associated with that person and attracted the phrase to you later. Maybe it's just to remind you about loa and that your thoughts good and bad attract things - so maybe a reminder that you're right to keep on thinking positively and keep on stomping negative ones.

[LeyLine]

Its a sign that tells you that the universe/god is by your side and that you shouldnt be worried and afraid because you will never be alone

Big Hugz for you

Peace

[David V.]

You don't STOMP negative thoughts. You leave them to starve and disappear, by feeding the positive thoughts instead and letting them hog your attention.

[57angel]

Gogetter, I understand how it is when you want to stay positive, but then deep inside us that the negative thoughts are that strong. Ive read that it is but natural thoughts keep coming in us, but we should acknowledge them and do something to make them disappear, such as pinching your thumb for you to be reminded to do something for the negative thoughts to go. With constant use on this, am sure that we can train our minds on what kind of thoughts we want to have. Best of LOA

[gogetter]

Thank you all so much! It is constant work but the awareness now to do the work is the key I think.

When I am thinking negatively about someone or a situation, I try and vision myself giving that person a warm hug. Even if I know it is unlikely, I try and really see it, really believe it could happen and try to really feel the hug.

I am still in awe over that sign I mentioned.

I am seeing clear signs now, at least 2-3 times a week. I think I have always seen signs but I would just say hmm strange coincidence. But now I realize it was always more than just coincidence.

I have another sign that I am trying to work out...something to do with Italy. Maybe it is because there is a small pic of a place in Italy I want to visit on my vision board? (but there are larger, more prominent pics of other places I want to travel to on my board) Anyway, I was sitting in my living room the other night and I looked over at the toy cabinet which has see-through drawers. Sitting in a drawer that normally holds toys, were some videotapes. The tapes had randomly fallen in a pattern that just showed them by colour (these were just the video cases, the covers have long fallen off) and the pattern they were in, these 3 lone videotapes in the toy drawer, was green-white-red. It caught my eye and I thought hmm, those tapes with those colours arranged in that way look like the Italian flag!
A bit later on a tv show I was watching, the people on it went to Italy! That was kind of weird...so I decided to use this "sign" to enhance my vision board a little and near my pic of Italy (I want to hike the Cinque Terre with my children!!) I added a pic of the Italian flag and some words that clearly said "Cinque Terre".

Somehow I feel the Italy sign was for a reason...not sure what though.

[judasentinel]

If this idea about going to Italy takes root in your mind, you will consciously and unconsciously see yourself working towards it and it wont even feel like a chore. I preseonally believe that taking action (inspired - where you dont feel stressed out due to effort put into it nd it feels great do it, no matter how hard it is) is a necessary part of ANY manifestation. For some, this 'inspired action' is limited to simple affirmations and visualizations, yet for others, it requires massive acts, but they dont drain your energies - in fact they increase them.
 
You can choose to fight your negativity or face it. When you fight it, you are consuming your own energy doing it, and hence, you slowly get weaker and weaker. Negativity is very powerful and it feeds on your energy. By fighting it, you give your energy to it. Examples of fighting it are thinkinig about it, being on a pity pot, putting yourself down, worrying, etc.. Facing the negativity on the other hand is simply accepting that you are going through a shitty phase right now and knowing that like most bad things, it is bound to END. And then just laugh at it. I mean literally, laugh, chuckle or just have a permagrin on your face. Even that will make that negativity lose its force. The key is to not lose your energy to it. Over time, such a feeling will fizzle out.
 
 

[loveofabundance]

@gogetter, all the above  replies are right on the money!  Negative thought will arise, it is perfectly natural.  It is very important to train yourself to switch a negative thought with a positive one as quickly as possible.  It does take effort in the beginning but after awhile you will notice yourself being optimistic for longer periods.  Times of dwelling on negative emotion will become rarer and shorter.  In fact, you'll get to a point where negative emotions will no longer bother you if you find yourself experiencing them because you will know that you won't be experiencing them for any longer than a few minutes.