Author Topic: So you decided to take the pill....and you feel like your failing now (Read 955 times)

2thetop · « **on:** December 22, 2011, 10:40:15 PM »

I decided to write a lil something because I see so many posts right now where people are worried about not being able to feel gratitude, happiness and all the good feelings were told we need to feel to manifest.

Its pretty amazing the days where everything is clicking isnt it? Everything is flowing in the direction you want it to. Youre happy, youre feeling good and you hardly think about your ex. When you do it makes you happy. Then like a wet hand in the snow it slaps you. You start having doubt, negative thoughts of your ex, negative thoughts of your future and it seems like everything you want has just slipped away. Nothing has changed, theres been nothing or no reason for this.

So you freak. Why am I feeling this way? Why cant I feel gratitude or happiness. Why isnt my ex back with me? Why is this feeling getting worse and worse instead of better?

Well, I have done a lil thought, as I have gone through this more then once. Its a cycle you have to get yourself out of. The universe will keep you in that endless loop until you learn what it is you need to learn. So what is it you need to learn? Well, I cant speak for your exact experience, but I will let you know what I have learned. Maybe that will help.

I kept going through that constant cycle. I also noticed the cycle got worse and worse. Every time I went through a down phase it got worse and worse. More doubt about everything. More pain about everything. More guilt about everything. Then I would go through a good phase. And it would be great. No doubt. No pain. No guilt. Then repeat. I felt I was failing at this whole thing.

So doing what I do, I searched. I literally dropped to my knees at one point to ask for guidance, the pain just got that intense. Soon after I ran across a book. Soon after that, another book. So i read. In both books I noticed how much mind set once again played a part. It also hit me. All these feelings, are natural. However you want to look at it, if we were created by god, or made from the big bang theory, we have a range of emotions. These emotions play their roll. We are taught through various social programing through the years that some of these feelings arent good to feel. So what happens? We shove em down. Bury them under the mud.

After years of doing this, how much stuff do you think is buried in the mud? What is going on here is simple, so simple we over look it. Before we started on this journey most of us were like a stagnant river. We decided to take this lil journey and basically released the damn. What happens when fresh clean water runs over the loose mud you have been burring everything under? It all slowly gets washed away and guess what, everything youve buried starts to come out. Some stuff is deeper then others.

So what does it all mean? It means you will feel bad, you will feel like crap and you will have doubts. Its natural. DONT fight it. That doesnt mean let yourself get wrapped up in the emotions and let them run your life. However, dont notice theyre coming up and try to bury them down further. When you do this, it adds to the next level of stuff you need to clear out, the feelings get more intense. Thats how I got caught up in the cycle. I was going through emotional hell for a few months off and on until it clicked. Dont fight it. Let the feelings come, feel them and release them Heres the hard one. Be thankful for everyone of those feelings. Why? If it wasnt for those feelings you wouldnt know where to go. Which direction is right and which one is destruction.

Does it get better? You bet! The most important thing I have found to remember is we are human. We arent robots. You wont program yourself to feel good all the time. I know someone might say, well what about monks who meditate or what about this guru or that. Heres the thing, they all feel down times. They have just cleared the mud out and they dont bury it. They focus on it, figure out why, learn how to adjust or avoid what caused it and then focus on the positive.

Since I started letting my system purge and not fight it, I have been feeling my girl more and more every day. If its not her, then im going crazy. And honestly I like it, so its fine by me

. So please, dont worry yourself when you feel bad. Ask what it is you can learn from every feeling and thought. If you do that and give gratitude for learning, you will find what you need and everything will smooth out.

Hope that helps someone out there.......sorry if it was a bit long

arminhul · « **Reply #1 on:** December 22, 2011, 10:49:24 PM »

Thank you. I totally agree. You have hit the nail on the head. One question....are you a writer by any chance?

2thetop · « **Reply #2 on:** December 22, 2011, 10:59:01 PM »

Thank you arminhul. No im not a writer, just an opinionated guy lol. I wish I could focus enough to write, but i dunno what the heck id write about lol

arminhul · « **Reply #3 on:** December 22, 2011, 11:13:20 PM »

You write with clarity. That is enough. Deciding what to write about is hard, but you wrote a good piece here, interesting and able to hold the reader's attention.

yolo7 · « **Reply #4 on:** December 22, 2011, 11:51:09 PM »

thank you 2thetop! this was a very insightful post. It's exactly what I feel.. days where I'm great and then bam, i feel all negative, all these bad feelings come rushing in and I doubt every single possible thought amd also feel like I'm only person dealing with such horrible feelings and then ask, why me? why am I going through such pain.. so yes, it is hard to give gratitude after you feel like that and don't wanna bother with everything

But I'm always trying my best to shift that thought and it can be hard but like you said, let those feelings come through and give thanks to them because it helps us go in the direction we need to go to.. that's a very good way of looking at it.

irishgirl69 · « **Reply #5 on:** December 22, 2011, 11:51:36 PM »

Awesome post, 2thetop. One thing I have noticed as I go through this journey is how much easier it is to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. At the beginning of my LOA journey, I would get a thought of "He doesn't want me" or "I'll never be with him" and it would affect me all day. Now, I sometimes get these thoughts and almost immediately think of something that contradicts that thought and it's gone. It's an awesome bit of progress, in my opinion.

2thetop · « **Reply #6 on:** December 23, 2011, 12:25:07 AM »

One thing i should have included in that is to not be afraid to fail. We are taught from children on that failing is bad. Failing at something is freakin awesome! You just have to remember to look for the lesson in it. And yes you man fail a thousand times before you finally are able to get what you want. But just think about how much you would have learned by then.

here is one of my favorite quotes right now : I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
- THOMAS EDISON......this is how an achiever and winner views failure. changing your view of failure will help immensely in getting past bad feelings and negative thoughts.

Thank you all for reading. Im glad it helped a few people out

angel_star · « **Reply #7 on:** December 23, 2011, 12:38:54 AM »

This is a fantastic post Shawn. You have answered almost all the questions that often nag many people, especially those on their path to attract their love. I really recommend anyone who feels doubtful to read this post every time the doubt seeps in. This should serve as a reminder that bad feelings are not that 'bad' after all! They are just feelings, by labeling them as bad, we make them more negative. Instead if we just let them pass as you suggested, they disappear on their own. Also I just want to add that if someone feels peaceful and happy but cannot feel a particular good feeling, say gratitude, its all fine. Because ANY good feeling will help us grow, and get us closer to our desire. So instead of getting hung up on generating a particular good feeling forcibly, its better to enjoy whatever good feeling we have and milk it for as long as we can. I have got a few PMs from many members saying that they feel happy/peaceful/confident but cannot feel gratitude in particular. So I thought I'll answer it here, since this thread is perfectly relevant and other people may find some help too. Thank you again for this thread! Lots of love to you

Itami · « **Reply #8 on:** December 23, 2011, 03:41:41 AM »

thank you

i like the picture of the river. it fits perfectly.

Blore · « **Reply #9 on:** December 23, 2011, 03:58:59 AM »

Thank you so much! This makes so much sense.

Every time I got negative feelings i'd just try and turn my mind from them. Explains why that wasn't working.

57angel · « **Reply #10 on:** December 23, 2011, 12:04:10 PM »

Thank you for sharing what works for you 2dtop, as this will enlighten here in the forum and will be of great help to me who commit to myself to love myself more and more

2thetop · « **Reply #11 on:** December 23, 2011, 08:40:46 PM »

thanks angel and thanks everyone else.

yes blore, the more you ignore them, the stronger they build up. all those feelings want is recognition. basically you just want to recognize those feelings and the part of you that is wanting to get your ex back believes those feelings are bad. so let yourself go through them and see how amazing you feel after they get through your system the first time. after the first few times you get through it, you will come to understand its like a rollercoaster. you just have to start enjoying the drops and once you let go of the "fear" of the track that is right infront of you, youll start seeing the track thats down the ways and youll become more and more ready every time. soon enough the roller coaster will seem like nothing and you will be looking for a ride with more thrills