Author Topic: Should I take this action? (Read 1612 times)

S · « **on:** August 26, 2011, 02:05:05 AM »

Hey you beautiful people!

,

this is kinda regarding my ex lol

we've been broke up for 3 years... Since last year, meeting up occasionaly and kinda getting intimate lol

3 weeks ago we met up, for the first time in 2 years he didn't put his arm around me in cinema (could have been due to quite a few kids and people in the cinema too...

He has not contacted me since and I text him 2 weeks ago, asking how he is and asked him to stay safe due to the riots but ye never replied...

ANYWAY...
I've got a new phone... With a new number on contract (first time contract)
if I keep this new number it means I have to contact my ex and friends to let them know my new number...
Then I worry incase he doesn't save it, doesn't contact me and forgets the good times because my old number may have reminded him of them

OR do I change this new number I've been given to my old, existing one... But then there's no oportunity to contact him... Really confused...

PLUS i've just looked at his fb status and he's put as his status that for once he's leering anyone inbox him a question which hell reply back too, any question!
So now I'm gearing incase he flirts with girls... And so if I was to keep the new number and text him it- would he consider replying to me text!

What should I do? Have new number or change to old, existing... If I was to have new I'd text him it tomorrow during the day when I'm feeling a little better lol

help guys please!

Thank you,
love you all!

xxxx

annmarie · « **Reply #1 on:** August 26, 2011, 02:59:05 AM »

hi if your just changeing your number for the sake of changeing it then i would leave it, and keeo your old number at least you know he already has it

tereza · « **Reply #2 on:** August 26, 2011, 03:02:27 AM »

Um, what's the problem? I don't know if it's different where you live, but if I change providers I can still keep my old number. So just do that and you don't have to stress about contacting him.

Or is the problem that you're looking for an excuse to contact him and you're unsure if you should keep the new number so that you'll have a reason to contact him?

Detached&Allowing · « **Reply #3 on:** August 26, 2011, 05:32:17 AM »

"S" you are looking for an excuse to contact him. It truly is time to move on. You are still way too attached.

Vicki Christina · « **Reply #4 on:** August 26, 2011, 05:49:20 AM »

I agree with Schenderson. You need to detach to see positive results. If you have a new number, then send him a text or email with the new number with a very brief note. But do not send it until you are ready to be detached from the outcome as he may or may not reply. I have had cards and notes to send to my guy in the past and sometimes they sit for days until I am mentally ready to send and go on without worry of what he thinks of the contact. Really be detached or do not send.....

Vicki Christina · « **Reply #5 on:** August 26, 2011, 05:55:13 AM »

http://www.heartmath.org/templates/ihm/down loads/pdf/e-books/state-of-ease/state-of-ease.pdf
Here is an article about getting into a detached state from Heartmath.org

peter_93 · « **Reply #6 on:** August 26, 2011, 06:57:08 AM »

I agreed Schenderson and Vicki - This is an ABSOLUTE way

No need to analyze this puzzle, there is never a true answer. Instead, give him the number because you are happy to give him and once you have given it to him, just let it go because you have done what you want to do no matter what he is going to do with that new number.

Putting you mind in advance of expectation for his reply or advance in worry if he does not reply or is he seeing someone else and etc, is not necessary. He has his own life and no one can ever guess if he is going to do the choice A, B, C, D when you initiate the 1, 2, 3...

Don't expect, be respect what he does, no matter what.
There is the more real happiness behind detachment.

bumblebee · « **Reply #7 on:** August 26, 2011, 07:24:56 AM »

Hello! i am new to this site and all of the posts have been so positive and uplifting. thank you for posting that link!

S · « **Reply #8 on:** August 26, 2011, 11:49:43 AM »

Thank you everybody!

I really appreciate your replies...

TEREZA, yes, you got that right, that's my problem lol

ALSO, on his fb status, it says he's seriously doubting getting married because he said he can't trust girls... (he has to have an arranged marriage)
that's why I'm scared to contact him because:

1. Doesn't seem to talk about marrying me although he used to when we were together for a year (also family is strict)

2. I know I gotta detach but my worst fear is him telling me we shouldn't contact anymore incase he gets married, etc.

I prayed to god last night, asking for help, I feared having a dream of Meeting 2 guys who were nice lol
but did I attract having that dream?
Does it reveal the negative frequency I'm on?

Xx

angel_star · « **Reply #9 on:** August 26, 2011, 12:23:11 PM »

Dear S,

Some general observations about your problem:

From a very long time you are holding the same negative thoughts about your relationship with Harjot. You keep worrying that he's flirting with other girls, that he doesnt love you anymore, that his family is against your relationship, etc. As a result you get more and more situations and signals that match your worry/doubt frequency. Its high time you totally let go of all these worries. I have told you many times before, and shall tell you again: the key to attract a loving relationship is to love yourself, focus on yourself and not being dependent on your partner for your emotional well-being. Have you been doing that enough? Can you be totally happy with or without Harjot, just on your own? If yes, then there is nothing to worry about and you can just get on with your life. He'll come back to you when you get into that happy vibration.

And about Gratitude! I remember some time back you said you were sad because he sent just one kiss in a text. Now you are analyzing why he did not out his arm around you at the cinema! Come on, do not over-analyze things. Be grateful that you could at least meet him and go to cinema. You can only bring more of what you want through gratitude, not through worrying!

Now about the current post:

If you are in a happy vibration, if you can just not worry and let it be, if you detach from the anxious thoughts like 'What If he's flirting with others' 'What if he doesnt respond to my new number and doesnt even save it' etc, everything will be fine. By imagining more and more unwanted things, you end up attracting more and more unwanted things. Become aware of your thoughts. Imagine what you want. Be grateful and happy. Have faith. Love yourself. It doesnt matter which number you contact him from, or even if you do not contact him at all. He'll come back to you.

tereza · « **Reply #10 on:** August 26, 2011, 07:54:18 PM »

S,

Do you use the LoA in other aspects of your life? If so, then you know that what he says isn't set in stone. That just because he says he doesn't want to get married or that his parents are making him have an arranged marriage, doesn't mean that it will actually happen that way. So instead of thinking about those things (that don't help you), think about the end result.

As for detaching...this is just my opinion and what I would do if I were in your situation...you may feel led to do something completely different. I'd stop contacting him and allow him to initiate contact. I did this a few months ago. At first it kind of sucked and I was worried. But then I started to get comfortable with it and started to appreciate it. I also started to focus on myself and other goals I had and things started to come together. After a month, he finally contacted me, but that isn't the success part. The success part was that I've learned better control of myself, I've learned to make myself a priority and I'm learning to receive. I couldn't have done all that if I was monitoring him 24/7 or spending all my time devising plans to contact him (which in the long run aren't even worth the amount of effort put into them).

Detached&Allowing · « **Reply #11 on:** August 26, 2011, 10:20:40 PM »

I have worked with S for a long time. She is unwilling (or unable) to detach herself from the outcome. It truly is time to walk away. Seriously, walk away.

S · « **Reply #12 on:** August 26, 2011, 10:34:07 PM »

All of you have given me beautiful replies, your all
angels to me!

Angel- Star- I promise I'll do the homework

Tereza- thank you!

just out of interest would u change your new number to the existing or give him the new one?

Sheri- pleaseeeee don't say that

I'm not unwilling, it's just that, it feels like times against me...
But this is now or never for me now...
Sheri, please have faith in me... It's all I want

xx

Detached&Allowing · « **Reply #13 on:** August 26, 2011, 10:45:40 PM »

That's the thing... you continue to look for advice outside, then you get the answers you do not want and the cycle continues. It is truly time to walk away. Only then will the doors open for you to see exactly how this process works.