Author Topic: Should I give her space (Read 5474 times)

Dave75 · « **on:** October 11, 2009, 11:47:10 AM »

I met someone on Facebook at the start of 2008.

We talked via email for a while, and began speaking to each other by telephone in August or so, started as just a shooting the breeze chat and so forth, maybe once or twice a week at the start and as we talked more the conversations became more frequent. We were talking to each other 4-5 times a week, after almost 3 months of communicating with her, I realised my feelings were more than just friendship, I really really wanted to meet this woman and perhaps I'd already fallen in love with her.

Talk went on and I could feel myself attracting more and more to her, we decided to meet each other in January, she came to visit me, love at first sight for me, I picked her up from the airport, we came home, spent night on six or seven hours talking to one another, it was getting close to sunrise on a Saturday morning and I thought it best we went to bed in order to embark on the Saturday we'd planned.

Initially, I'd set up a bed for her in the spare room, when it came time to retire for the night, we found ourselves in a stand off, what were we both going to do, I think we stood and stared at each other for almost five minutes and I just took the plunge and kissed her, we must have embraced for an hour, it felt like time was of no consequence, we fell asleep in each others arms and spent the most wonderful weekend together.

She left on the Monday afternoon, I didn't want her to go, she had to go back to Newcastle, I'm in Adelaide so it's about a 4 hour flight, she had to have an operation on the Wednesday, all I could hope for that she was ok, it was at this point I realised I had found my true love, on the Friday after she'd left, and all was ok after the op, I spoke to her and professed how I felt, to cap the most amazing week I'd had in my life, she confirmed she felt the same so we decided to give things a go, long distance was going to be hard but I never expected it to be easy yet she was my goddess, the one I truly wanted, I just knew and would do absolutely anything for her so I wanted to see where things went for us.

Over the next 8 months, we ventured to see each other, all over Australia, to spend some time together, we didn't see each other until about six weeks after our initial meeting, oh my the first time I saw her as she approached the gate to her apartment building, the feelings I experienced, our love had grown to a new level. It was on my visit to Newcastle that we first made love, it's a real vindicator for waiting and not jumping into something physical immediately, it was the most amazing experience I'd had with a woman, up to that point, there were more in the near future with her.

We spoke every day, made plans about our next meeting up, shared everything with one another, we had our moments, we're both pretty straight up, passionate and opinionated people, we talked about our future together, I met her friends, she met mine, we were absolutely in love .......... believe me there is so much more to say, I truly believed we were made for each other.

We both love a drink, and a dabble in a few other things also, we continued to speak on a daily basis, I think the frustration of being apart from each other was beginning to take it's toll, we took emotions and frustrations out on each other, we always managed to talk about them and smooth them over the next day.

She came to visit me at the start of September, she came early than originally planned and stayed longer than the original plan also, in the time we'd known each other, she'd moved to Melbourne, which was great, she was closer to me than she was before and I'd harbored a desire to move there myself, well before meeting her. I was in between employment and on holidays, she hadn't managed to find work in her new location as yet.

I could see she was frustrated, the second week she was here with me, job leads weren't materialising for her, we were getting on each others nerves a bit, I gave her some space in order to not crowd her so she could sort through her stuff that was bothering her, I know what being unemployed is like, it's sapping. She found a job to apply for, it was perfect for her, it was still a couple of days before she was going home, it had to be submitted by Monday, she went back to Melbourne Saturday evening, I didn't speak to her until Monday evening and the deadline had passed, I lost it at her, she'd been drinking, I'd had a few also, I let loose, I lost all sense of everything and said we were over. We've spoken since that fateful day 4 weeks ago, I wish I hadn't said what I did, I want her back, the love of my life, I ruined everything for us, sure there are faults on both sides, but I couldn't just accept that her and I are different on a few things and run with it and just support her.

I absolutely want her back........

Please help me!!!

mira80 · « **Reply #1 on:** October 11, 2009, 05:54:33 PM »

Welcome to the forum, Dave!

You can absolutely get your girl back! Please read the many previous posts around the forum to know how you can apply the Law of Attraction to work for you.

I also want to add something else: I can absolutely relate to your story, esp. because mostly my husband and I kind of separated because we've been facing problems with my visa and we couldn't be together sooner. So, yes, long distance relationships can be stressful when it comes to that and contribute greatly to other problems.

It also seems that you lose your temper when you drink, so later when you're back together you gotta watch out for that. And something else: we sometimes tend to take our own anger and frustrations on the other person. You said you couldn't accept that you both are "different" when it comes to certain things. Now being soul mates doesn't mean you have to be identical to each other or do most things the same... Even if you think differently from her, even if you don't agree with her, do NOT snap at her. Tell her what you think slowly and gently so that the both of you can learn to accept the other and deal with each other lovingly.

I think she could be still upset. Have you even apologized to her? If she has the same feelings for you as you do for her, she could be also very sad over losing you.

You have to work on your thoughts first... keep visualizing the both of you together and happy again, use affirmations...etc. Then perhaps you could send her a short email to apologize for losing your temper and promise it won't happen again (and mean it!). Don't push it at this point; she may still be hurt. Tell her you miss her and that you truly believe she's the love of your life and that you have no idea why you're apart now. I would do that if I were you. Then do NOT contact her again until she does when she wants to. Meanwhile, keep visualizing, using affirmations....etc.

That's what I think.

Have faith, Dave!

Galia · « **Reply #2 on:** October 13, 2009, 12:48:15 AM »

Dave,

I've been reading your post like 4 or 5 times for the past 2 days

it's so sweet and like a fairy tale

Honestly, I see only one problem in your situation. It's this job hurdle for your girlfriend... But before you find a solution for that, you should do as Mira suggested - Apologize for your behaviour and explain how you feel...

You both are in love with each other, it's just so amazing! You really have to explain your feelings - a phone call, email or a post letter...nevermind...send her flowers, a gift...what you found appropriate, but apologize!

She loves you, you love her...what can a person asks more?!

Let us know what happened and we will see what you can do more after that?...

Sending you power and blessings! Be happy! You're so lucky!

Galia

Sneha Kulkarni · « **Reply #3 on:** October 14, 2009, 11:47:52 AM »

hi
i would suggest start meditating and have a silent mind, send her the right kind of vibes , write down affirmation, feel the feeling of being with her and yes most important have faith:)

sneha

Dave75 · « **Reply #4 on:** October 18, 2009, 03:56:44 AM »

Thanks guys, I've found your posts and others around the forum a beneficial starting point in my quest to get my love back into my life.

I posted a letter to her yesterday, apologising for my actions and words, I focussed on where I have misgivings and felt it wouldn't help to direct anything at her in my letter, that would be making things worse I believe.

It's been sent so it's out of my hands now, I'm looking forward to her reading what I've written and I'll have an answer if I don't hear back from her at all.

In the meantime, I'm practicing clearing my mind and eradicating the negative thoughts through meditation and focussing on the happy, positive and joyous moments we've spent together and using affirmations on a daily basis. Also making the necessary changes to make me feel better about myself.

Any more assistance would be greatly appreciated!!!

Thanks guys, you're all wonderful!!

In love and gratitude!!

Galia · « **Reply #5 on:** October 18, 2009, 02:14:01 PM »

Dave,

you did already what a gentlman should do

So it's great! Congratulations to you!

Now focus on your affirmations and visualizations and just keep in mind - you need to feel happy without her, no matter what - be detached from the outcome and you'll see it is happening!

Remember, you are a winner! You are so very happy of everything you already have! In every situation of your life you acted the best way you could! Never regret anything. Everybody makes mistakes, the important thing is to recognise them and apologize if you heart somebody. Learning from your mistakes is what will help you not repeating them.

Go ahaid now!

Dave75 · « **Reply #6 on:** October 23, 2009, 07:10:25 AM »

3 days have past and I've heard nothing back ......

Finding it all the more difficult to stay positive and maintain my faith ....

I'm keeping the affirmations up, I have to admit I'm finding it really hard to detach myself from the outcome I desire.

I am open to further help and guidance.

In love and abundance!

Galia · « **Reply #7 on:** October 24, 2009, 12:08:56 AM »

Dave, you need to stay focused on your outcome, it's coming...

Check this, Ron gives a good reply:

http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/how-to-use-law-of-attraction/loa-steps/new/?topicseen#new

and this:

http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/how-to-get-your-ex-girlfriend-boyfriend-back/

Blessings!

Galia · « **Reply #8 on:** October 25, 2009, 12:50:12 PM »

Dave, I found also that <ron is giving some very good advices talking on "ex" in another topic , here it is, it may help you:

http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/how-to-use-law-of-attraction/loa-steps/new/?topicseen#new

Have an amazing day!

Dave75 · « **Reply #9 on:** October 28, 2009, 01:14:55 PM »

I received an email back in response to my letter ........

Although I'm a little puzzled at what she's said it's given me a bit of perspective, albeit a brief response, I'm not giving us away, keeping up the positive affirmations and of course my faith, I believe we are meant to be!

Galia · « **Reply #10 on:** October 28, 2009, 01:16:18 PM »

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Shikha · « **Reply #11 on:** October 29, 2009, 12:06:46 AM »

congratz to you dave

keep up the good work!!!

Galia · « **Reply #12 on:** October 29, 2009, 01:31:31 AM »

Dave, hello!

Thank you for your personal message. I'm sorry for not being able replying on it directly, but my problem with the account remains unsolved.... So I hope ankur will find a solution quickly to that so I can answer people in private...

Anyway..

About the email, she definitely left you an open door and you shouldn't be confused about that... She needs to grow apart and you should do the same while she is absent.

She will come back to you when she is ready and believe me, you won't need do anything, she will come back by herself!

Now what is important for you to o dimmediately, is to remain positive and send the Universe positive vibes.
Leave your mind open to anything, beyond the boundaries!

If you want to work it really the law of attraction way, make a list of the qualities of your ideal partner, a description of her physical appearance also...everything you want to live and have in a relationship.

Check what Ron already replied here in the forum, I found it very usefull.... Even if I already put you this link, it has some evolution so keep checking it

http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/how-to-use-law-of-attraction/loa-steps/new/?topicseen#new

The most important is really to remain happy and gratefull

We're here to help and learn from each other! So thank you for helping us and keep us updated

Blessings and light to you!

Dave75 · « **Reply #13 on:** November 16, 2009, 10:56:23 AM »

Hi all, updates ......

The no contact rule remains in place but I'm really enjoying getting my own life back and in the process learning more and more about myself and building on my self growth.

I have the odd down day but I am replacing those negative thoughts with my faith that we'll be together again, keeping up my affirmations and belief.

My sister travelled interstate and caught up with my ex a few weeks back, I decided not to ask any questions or focus on it before my sister went away and had no idea for the first two days after she'd returned if they'd caught up with each other at all.
She was very reserved and coy toward me when she returned home, there was no positive in me asking any questions, but she had a go at me about a few things regarding my ex, I still had no idea if they'd caught up, I believed they had, but wasn't entirely sure.

A couple of days later she spilled that they did catch up, I took in what I was told, no questions, she told me my ex has kept away from a few things, situations, triggers that reminded her of me, and she asked how I was going. In passing I mentioned to my sister, wrongfully I must admit, my faith was deterred at that point, that I doubted I'd ever see my ex again, I was met with silence and a very blank look from her.

It's all remaining quite confusing, but my belief and faith in the big picture will not waiver ........

Thanks for your support, I'm grateful!!