Reconciled with Terra... for two days. Then she attacked.

[UpLOAding]

Our time in the same assignment at work is coming to an end in very few weeks, and suddenly, last week, two of our team - those whom I called the "bodyguards" of Terra, i.e. whom she spoke with after she stopped talking to me - were fired without notice. On a day in which Terra wasn't there.

Out of inspired action, I wrote to her a message about what had happened, and that I really wanted to end this silence, because I really knew we can be friends without being a couple, that I accept we're not in love.

She reacted very positively.

The day after I sent that e-mail, we really spoke like before. And I thought I would never need to ask for advice again because we spoke together, walked together as before. She seemed as happy as the sun!

We spoke about everything that happened in our lives during this time of silence and she wasn't cold with me anymore.

One thing that seemed strange to me was that she knew some details about my work-related things that she wasn't supposed to know. I guess she heard either through gossip or because she is in better relations with higher people of the company (remember, I fought with some managers who were offering her drinks).

Today, when we spoke on the corporate private chat system, she seemed a bit cold again. I thought she was just busy. But then I asked whether we could go out for lunch and she said she was already invited (clearly an excuse).
While we were in a sort of bar of the company, I met her but she avoided even looking at me. She was dead serious, didn't look at me. I was really not persisting, but she was acting even colder than before. She totally ignored me.
I really couldn't understand.

I tried writing to her on the chat again and she replied very elusively. I was asking questions about things we used to discuss about in the past, and all of a sudden she started attacking me, with words such as...
"stop making up stories"
(I was telling only the truth)
"and if you're really interested in that kind of thing, why don't you go find out yourself? I don't get it why you have to ask me and copy everything I do"
(about something we used to talk really a lot)

After that, she didn't even greet me. I went to her desk and did. She replied with a very low voice and with a red face.

This confirms something I often feared: that she mistrusts me.
Some little exaggeration I have said might have triggered this mistrust as she is very careful to details, very meticulous. And for that she might have thought that I lied.

My guess is that she "found out" some little thing I told her during our long conversations that she thinks is a lie.

I know that I never lied to her, I know that I am not making up things to impress her, and I know that even though sometimes I exaggerate to make people laugh, I have always been honest with her.

But she mistrusts me, and it seems that it's something she has always felt without telling me openly.

What can I say? Please help.

This is not about attracting and manifesting. Here I have to do something big to show her that I really am on her side and that I want her friendship, that everything we did was out of honesty and friendliness, and that I am trustworthy.

The problem is that in all this time of SILENCE she has thought these bad things about me. She has certainly not thought about returning to me.

My letter re-assured her for a moment, but now she's aggressively cold again.

Please help.

[Ginny]

This is not about attracting and manifesting

Well, but it is. You of course attracted this - and you could try to understand why that happened and then go about attracting a better relationship instead.

From a 'non-LOA' perspective, I'd probably just ask her what's wrong. But if she doesn't want to answer or talk to you, there isn't a lot you can do about it. Unless you want to try to bully her into talking to you. Or apply LOA and try to attract more positive trusting feelings from her.

[Chantal]

Do not think that she is thinking bad about you, if you are thinking that (do you?) Indeed, perhaps you should just ask, but if you think she does not think well about you, then perhaps she will not think well about you. Just focus on yourself right now I suppose. Try to detach as much as you can and I am sure that if you ASK, you will RECEIVE, but first LET GO! And uh...perhaps it is not a wise plan to give her the feeling that you want to stay friends? Or do you really want to stay just friends? I suppose you want her back, so... Sleep well! And good luck at work! It all will turn out just fine, just BELIEVE and dont ask how.

[Mr positive]

give it up, your obviously creating all these untrusting feelings by her! If you did not, she wouldnt be feeling this way! Bottom line is talk to her about it! Tell her sorry for whatever you did and ask her why shes feeling the way shes feeling and really be sincere and LISTEN to what she says! The answer is within you, stop punishing yourself, enjoy whats given to you and accept it as perfect whatever way it goes, or end up misserable because you dont have any power over yourself! Which is beautiful to!

[UpLOAding]

Chantal, she's a very good friend (I think of her that way), whom I tried to become "more than friends" with, but it didn't work. For that reason and some other reasons (fighting in front of her, being aggressive for the first time, knowing her since just 2 months but being really intensive friends, going out, planning Christmas together, going on trips just me and her, etc.) she became silent for almost two months.
I am mainly trying to recover her friendship.
I am sure there were moments in which I was sure she wanted more, but she said she doesn't. Yet, I see no reason why we cannot be friends. I think the letter convinced her. But there are probably other things that make her mistrust me.

[peter_93]

why do you set deadline? yes I know you said corporate program is over this week, but it's just a single program, in fact you two still work same company aren't you. so what the deadline for, sound uncommon.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

Dead lines DO NOT WORK, the LOA is too smart for deadlines!! 

[Sailorsalem]

I say this from what I get from your posts. You say you cant see why you cant be friends but its really her decision too. That goes for anyone. It takes two and right now based on what youve posted, it does not seem as if she wants to be friends. It may not stay the reality but thats what it seems like now. You can stay positive because you have that right, but regardless whether you want just friendship or not you have to let it go. Also that applies to whether or not you believe in loa as well. Let it go. You did it before and look what good things happened afterwards....

[2thetop]

Just re read what you wrote.  seriously if you dont see what your problem is i dunno what to tell you.  you come across to me like everyone is out to get you and that she is always thinking the worse.  maybe she had plans and it wasnt an excuse.  maybe she didnt want to talk when you messaged her.  you attracted this and its easy to see.  hope you can pull it all together.  your thinking is taking you into another down ward spiral.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

Unloading....you need to read this and see my other post on letting go......you need to let this go, if you don't, you will never make any progress and you will continue to push her and everyone else away. 

Law of Attraction – A New Perspective on Detachment
By Sonia Miller | July 20, 2008

I’m reading the book "I’m Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams – I am. I am. I am."  I love that there is a never-ending supply of perspectives, angles and new ways of thinking about prosperity, the Law of Attraction and manifestation.  The truth is you can never learn it all because each time you hear or read something your consciousness will interpret it from it’s current level of awareness.

So, at the moment I’m contemplating "detachment."  Author Thomas Pauley is saying more than, "You must release your desire into the Universe…"
more than, "You must let it go…"
more than "You must be unattached."
He says, "Write down what you want.  Think it through… Get pictures of the things you want.  Visualize your car, house, vacation.  Get excited.  Feel like it is already yours.  Get enthusiastic about enjoying whatever it is you have asked for.  Then… do the smart thing.  Detach yourself.  Turn your back and let the Universe take over.  Want what you asked for, but stop caring if you ever get it."

That last line:  "Stop caring if you ever get it."  That one jumped out at me.  That one stuck.  That one is burrowing a groove in my brain.  So… I put the book down and started really contemplating this one.  What exactly does this mean?
I’ve heard it all and even written chapters in my book on the subject of "letting go and letting it come to you."  But the idea of "stop caring if you ever get it." …hmmm.

For example, I just launched a new program through my practice.  I have a few spots left in these semi-private coaching circles.  The deadline is Friday.  I "thought" I was letting it go, but was I really?  While I was looking over here, visualizing my groups filled (a common manifestation technique I depend on), expecting a certain source of dependable income from this channel – money started coming in from over there (a totally unexpected channel).

I realized that there was a place of letting go with my groups that I had not yet reached.  The place of really not caring if they were filled or not.  So, I did that.  I asked myself, what if the groups aren’t filled?  Well… they will be smaller than you wanted.  Does that matter?  No.  Do I care?  No.  You already know the money will come from some other place… and better in some way, too.

So, now I’m having fun not just letting go, but practicing NOT CARING.  As Thomas Pauley says, you never stop wanting what you want, you just stop caring if they ever manifest.  Does this sound like a contradiction?  Maybe.  But it somehow makes sense to me.

How about you?  When you let go, are you really letting go?  Try this one on for size.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Choose Your Reality! tm
Sonia

[UpLOAding]

Guys, let me tell you one more thing.

Ever since I learned about LOA, I act and speak very positively about everything.
I don't mean just manifesting, I mean in real life.

I think some people are annoyed by this, because even when I speak to Terra, I always speak using positive language.

For example, if she's discouraged, I say something to encourage her etc.

I think during all this time (since I know Terra), whenever she accused me, I  never defended myself, just because I wanted to keep a positive tone and not attack her.
I always said only sorry, but what if this made her think that I am actually wrong?

Shouldn't I have said, as a normal person, "It's not true what you're saying."?

Isn't that perhaps what has made her see me as untrustworthy?

[OmAumOm]

It seems like you're really really over analysing this, constantly thinking about it and it's taking a hold over your own happiness. Give Terra space if she's being cold. If someone is annoying you, you don't want them to keep talking to you. You could ask her what's wrong like what others suggested, and then leave it at that. Stop trying so hard to get her approval, you're just fighting against it more.

[Believing Love]

Dear Uploading / Chris  / whoever it may concern

I dont really get your story, seriously
I am here in the forum for almost a year now and I guessed before I entered this forum you're already here
but why and why what I get from your story is like you always playing the victim card here ?
I believe you have learn about LOA and you have studied it and memorized it ... but why its like you kept coming with the same problem dont you learn anything
seriously man .. let go ... believe that whoever it is either its Natasha or Terra or whoever will come to your life next is YOURS and you'll be fine !!!!!

[irishgirl69]

How many times do people have to tell you to stop analyzing every little nuance of your interaction with her before you will finally get it?  Seriously.  It's just not normal behavior.  I have never in my life heard someone refer to normal human behavior the way you do.  You say you're always positive, but you view normal conversation as negative - you never defended yourself, when she accused you, you didn't want to attack her, etc.  It's bizarre.  Normal friends/lovers do not think about their interaction in that way.  People argue, they disagree, it's normal.  If you feel that you can't be yourself around her then how can you expect to have any kind of meaningful relationship with her?  Everything is a major deal with you.  When I have a disagreement with one of my friends, we give each other space and then talk about it.  There are no big gestures, no desperation.  It's just frightening the way you view your relationship with her.

[I AM LOVE!]

I dont know how you speak positive to her when you yourself are at a negative place.Every time something happens and you return here crying and pleading on the forum to get the validation of your beliefs.This forum has become a venting place for you and we are the silent spectators..some of which will reply you in frustation like me right now thinking OMG! Why doesnt this guy gets the point?Some have started ignoring you,others read and think he will always be the same.You are always concerned with getting a specific reaction out of Terra and if she behaves a slight different you freak out.Cant you just accept that sometimes people behave mad because of their own issues and not necessarily because of you.Chris do one thing TAKE A BREAK!GO on a vacation !!!