Reconciled w Natasha and attracted new love/pain!

[UpLOAding]

Remember I was complaining about some women at work hitting on me very hard, and me trying to avoid their temptations? Well, one of them already changed my life. I might as well change my nickname here...

I am a bit embarrassed to admit that, perhaps due to the stress at work, and due to the debates surrounding Natasha (even after having forgiven her / "let go"), I just wanted to be free for some time and in the meantime I got to know better this new woman, and I think I started falling for her.

I was only curious, and I did my best to stick to my values. But one thing I realized while interacting with Terra is that for many reasons she seemed to fit much better into the ideal type of woman I was looking for. She was clearly interested, as she asked to go out several times with her, and with her close girl-friends, and I started to realize what I appreciated in her and what she appreciated in me. Me and Terra are definitely a stronger match in values and interests than me and Natasha, though I don't consider this crucial.

Today I am a bit unsure whether I developed those impressions merely because Terra is the first woman I went out with [as in a date] and whom I have been interested in since two years i.e. since I met Natasha.
And I know her only since 1 month, so I would like to talk about her to you.

Until last weekend, things were growing very intense. But I have to tell you one thing before that and so far Natasha seems to be the only woman who has understood what I mean. I feel uncomfortable with "dating rules", i.e. even with Natasha, I first got to know Natasha as a friend and then developed feelings. I never asked to go out with her alone clearly stating that it was a "date". Things just developed naturally, just like when two people become friends.
Even though Natasha understands me, it may be that I failed to establish a relationship with her just because I didn't know how to kiss her while we were hanging around 7 days a week while she was in my city (usually girls kissed me, I am too shy to take initiative!). You know, I don't know or understand why a man has to kiss the woman, take initiative, and stuff like that.
I am free and open to learn those, but I am very uncomfortable when there are "rules" around such things, that are interpreted so rigidly by people who start dating each other.

That seems to be my issue with Terra:

Until last Monday we were making plans to go on trips, her friends were jokingly hinting that I will also learn Terra's language (she's from my city, but originally also from Eastern Europe as Natasha - I guess that's my regional specialization), and I was starting to see a "friend-becomes-love" in Terra as well, with much more certainty of an actual relationship happening.
I admit I had a few fears due to the fact that she's very popular, but I was quite confident that the two of us were enjoying each others' company.
 

On Monday, she invited me for dinner at her place and I, as usual, entertained her flatmates while she was pampering me like a mother, treating me like a real king and stuff like that. I was telling myself in that moment that I was happy to have found a new friend (and her friends), that she might become a girlfriend - but when I was about to leave, she became cold as the Ice Age!
She said "Bye" in a hurry and didn't even hug to say goodbye as we usually did the previous days.
Next morning before work, I sent her a text saying she was a wonderful person and asked whether I made her anrgy. At work, she wrote to me a long letter telling that she just needed "space" and didn't want to stay all the time with the same people (we had spent almost every day of the previous week together), but that she wasn't angry at me at all.

Yet I truly felt that she was avoiding me with her eyes and body, and occasionally I felt as if she treated me like a stranger, as if she had forgotten the nice days already and had put me in the "failed-admirer-zone". I was disappointed about that and I tried to use LOA of course; I think I received a few results (she was OK again), but I didn't attract the behavior she showed before Monday, i.e. when she covered me in her jacket, told me sweet things and that I'm a great guy and stuff like that...
I lost my confidence that I was doing everything right, even though right before Monday I was sure that I was always a gentleman towards her and treated her well, helped her whenever she needed, and she always seemed to appreciate. Her sudden change made me doubt about everything.

There's one little story I have to share with you: ever since I got to know about LOA (about 1,5 years ago) and developing my values about marriage etc, I started wearing a ring on my ring finger as a sign to the universe to attract a faithful marriage (of course, I thought it would be with Natasha at that time).
Terra, and also her friends, often kept asking me what that ring meant and I always answered that I will tell one day, but that it didn't mean I was actually married. I remember that on the Monday dinner, right before she chased me away, her flatmates also asked me and I just ignored the question.

At work, I told Terra that I would tell her the truth behind the ring.
Terra:"That's too late now... I must work"
I kept insisting, so she organized a lunch with her friends and asked, in front of everyone:"So Chris, now tell us this story about your ring, OK?"
(Please be aware that when I'm in groups I always make jokes and make people laugh every 10 seconds - LITERALLY, but Terra was serious like ice!)
I quit joking and said:"It may sound embarrassing but it just means that if I fall in love I will always stay faithful and committed. It also means that even though I am a funny person, in relationships I am dead serious."
The girls were silent for a while, one friend joked:"Chris?! You?! Serious??? Oh come on now!" and then conversation went on normally. One of her friends looked at me and said, without Terra hearing:"I'm very sure you're gonna learn Terra's language!"

After that conversation, Terra was normal again with me, invited me for a tea 2-3 times, and yesterday me and Terra organized dinner for our team at the office.
Some of my jokes made people literally roll on the floor laughing but Terra was just looking away and indifferently silent!!!!
The only time Terra laughed was when I made a joke making fun of myself.

But she's not romantic anymore. We bid each other a nice weekend. I fear I'm a victim usual dating rules and risk being put into the friend zone.

I was so upset about this that I asked advice from a person I had never tried to ask before: NATASHA.
I wrote her a long premise saying she knew me best, especially as a woman, and is my best friend in the world, the reason why I grew up as who I am today, etc. and she answered that Terra surely liked me but expected something from me on that Monday dinner - but Natasha also said that Terra doesn't seem to look for friendship.
I then asked Natasha, very casually, about Spain, and she said she actually didn't want me to surprise her there, but that was long time ago and that I shouldn't worry about it now. I was very surprised by Natasha's friendly attitude towards this issue. She was sincerely interested in helping me.

I would appreciate any suggestions you may have regarding my current situation with Terra, LOA-wise and non-LOA-wise (since I and her meet every day at work!).

Thank you,
Chris

[UpLOAding]

I would appreciate some insights as I am unsure whether to be the initiative-guy (ask her to go out) and I am unsure about when to ask her, and so many other things.
 
Guys, please, say something! Help!!!

[loveofabundance]

Hi Chris,
I'll tell you one thing.  I, too wear a ring to attract a faithful marriage and my friends call it my "LOA Ring."  So, it's nice to know that someone else has entertained themselves in such a way. 
One thing about you is that you over-analyze everything.  I do too (as do many folks in general) so I'm not picking on you here.  I'm simply making an observation.  You are so desperate for a happy marriage that you are not taking time to slow things down for yourself - not the women -YOURSELF.
Take a step back and don't try so hard. 
How often do you meditate?
 

[UpLOAding]

Hey, thanks for your reply.
 
Of course I can wait, and meditate.
 
But I am impatient about these little things that may truly matter depending on the individual woman.
 
Like, right now I don't know whether to write her something nice, organize something with her despite the fact she said "happy weekend", or... what. I don't know. I have no clue.
 
It's true that I overanalyse, but now I am just reporting, describing what happened, because I don't know what to do next, in my role as the "guy" or the "man".
I don't know. I just don't know.

[UpLOAding]

I mean, come on, COME ON!
She invited me out for the entire weekend last week, she called me at least twice.
COME ON!
 
And now she's not saying anything?!
 
COME ON FOLKS CANT YOU HELP ME???!
 
CMOE ON COME ON COME ON PLS HELP!

Just what do I have to do?
For X's sake, what do I have to do now?

What is the next step in my role? What am I supposed to do?
What??

[loveofabundance]

You wrote that you CAN meditate. That's not what I asked.  I know you can be a little thick in the skull (much love BTW  ) I asked, "How OFTEN DO you meditate?"
Well?

[2thetop]

looks like the universe is trying to teach you something.  maybe a little patience and that your feelings and wants arent the only ones to consider

[peter_93]

Hey Chris

I think you are a cool guy with good sense of humor. Why I think so... because I CAN'T make people roll on the floor like you can do, man.

I think that is the charm in a person and if I have that much skill, I would be greatly happy with myself.
But since I don't have that skill, I am still happy with myself though.

You got the principle quality and you do not need to focus on how to make everybody in the World into you. Instead, you focus on keep develop your quality (sense of humor, confidentiality, intelligence, leadership etc). Better quality is better attraction naturally.. So, be enjoy

[UpLOAding]

I asked, "How OFTEN DO you meditate?"
Well?

Almost every time I am patient and am alone by myself and have no pressures from social interaction.

i.e. I lose my meditative calm whenever I feel that something on the outside is threatening my achievement of goals, love, etc.

[UpLOAding]

You got the principle quality and you do not need to focus on how to make everybody in the World into you. Instead, you focus on keep develop your quality (sense of humor, confidentiality, intelligence, leadership etc). Better quality is better attraction naturally.. So, be enjoy

OK, but as I said on your thread, the World is not Terra.
Individuals behave differently from when they are in groups.

You know, yesterday I had a call with a very old friend I hadn't heard since ages, and in his opinion, when I am in a state of constant humor and being in the limelight of social attention, I  loose my authenticity - I entertain like an actor, make up jokes, behave theatratically, but that's not the "real me", and a woman who may like the real me might lose touch that way...
What do you think about this criticism?

[peter_93]

This is exactly my girlfriend told me.
She said I was not being authentic (or real me) when I show up upon social world and she felt alienate with me. But when we've gotten off the crowd, everything back to usual and etc.

I am sharing this to give idea that this situation can happen to everyone, but I did not take any action to fix it, because there is nothing wrong and it does not affect my life as well as other people life.

I still do the same, take care of people and entertain them as usual manners.

[UpLOAding]

It does not affect your life... but it does affect your relationship ("being together"), right?
 
Or did you partner learn to cope with it?

[peter_93]

Certainly we have some small conflict just like everybody does. Our grandma and grandpa who living together for 40 years also does have conflict from things, too. These are personal preference.

When this happen, so we can talk, make understanding, adjusting, patient and etc. to cool it down

[UpLOAding]

Well, those are the things I would like to learn better 

[2thetop]

hey up,

want to take a quick second to tell you i think your progress has been great lately.....i think its great that you are offering your support to others on the forums and appreciate that.   remember that LOA can be used to attract what you want to learn as well.  we just have to be open and willing to learn.  sometimes it comes in a form that we arent too comfortable with, this is when we learn the best.

I have been watching you exchange here.  I would like to offer up my thoughts on part of it.  when you love someone and they love you, part of that is accepting who they are and them accepting who you are.  Part of it is also sometimes bending a bit if it makes the other one happy.  Just as they would do for you.  its give and take.  ask what ever woman you chose to have in your life to please accept that you like to entertain people, and i think you should also be open to them asking, "could you spend time with me and not entertain for a while?"

 once again, good job on your recent progress.