One doubt has caused a spiral effect. Need my faith back

[Shrikanya]

Hi SailorSalem,

You have gone through a lot. Now a lot of things are becoming apparent and your reason for feeling low becomes more and more justifiable. Only you have the ability to change your life. I know it is difficult to let go. But only you have to decide for yourself what you want. Do not be desperate for company. The universe is listening everything.

Please let go of the past, it is doing no good to you. You have to begin your life anew. Get in touch with your parents and your friends who made your life better and start fresh

Best Regards,
Shrikanya

[Sailorsalem]

Thank you
I believe I do love him, but please dont take it as being desperate. I have enough people who love me around to know I dont need him. I am on a better path way than I was several months ago. Im no longer stuck in a mindset where I want whats happening to me just to be in someone life. Then his friends would be right and they are not. I deserve happiness. His path may not be with me but I pray he doesnt stay in that predicament. I know hes better than that. Even with me out his life. They boost him up but all lower his self esteem if that makes any sense...

As for me I am moving on. Day by day I am getting stronger. I prayed for  to move on and I look at the negative as a positve that has helped me see. I do feel like one day he will come back a more mature man. In my dreams at night lately, hes been coming back asking for forgiveness ready to love me that way I deserve to be loved. That does not mean I will wait for him nor does it mean I will take him back.

When i started loa it wasnt just for my relationship with my ex it was because i was in the deepest darkest place in all aspects of life. I love the support on here. Trust me ive come a long ways than where I was. I know
 that i have more of a ways to go. On that note im optimistic!!!! Im the happiest ive been in a long time. I finally can say I love me more. Thank you all for your kind words. I will defnitely keep you updated. 

[Mr positive]

Every one is a reflection of you, no one is right or wrong! If they wee really good friends with you before than you should let go of the resentment you have for them betraying you because you dont want to imprison yourself! You shouldreally love his friends to bc they are a part of this magnificent universe just like you, they are one with you! You show any hate to some one, you got to look inside and eliminate this hate before it eats you up inside! Good luck and hope to hear a positive update !

[Alastair]

      I have adequate people who love me around to recognize  I dont need him. I am on a better path way than I was several months ago. I am  no longer stuck in a mindset where I want whats happening to me just to be in somebody  life.
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[tereza]

Sailor, it sounds like you're ready for some awesome things in your life!
Also, I think Mr. Positive is spot on about forgiving those guys. You had a good relationship with them before, you can have it again. All that stuff not so pleasant stuff that's been happening with them is just past manifestations, it isn't necessarily your future. Anyway, I'm so glad to hear that you're so happy.

[MiaVictoria]

Sailor, just like your name...sail the open sea!  The beauty of it is yours.