No Contact

[schenderson22]

I have been a member of this forum for a couple years now and the topic of "no contact" often comes up.  I was very blessed when I joined this forum to have a wonderful boyfriend. However, that has temporarily changed. 

I have decided for my own well being it is best that I do not contact him or want him to contact me.  I have found that when he contacts me I get my hopes up and being a firm believer in LOA and basic principles I have learned where that takes me. 

I have found that coming to this conclusion has to come from a place of peace.  It can't be a "reaction".  Many people have posted in the past they do it in hopes of getting a reaction from the one they want.  This doesn't work either. 

I feel that "no contact" needs to come with no intentions/ expectations etc. 

What are your thoughts?

[irishgirl69]

I agree and I think that goes for anything relating to LOA, honestly.  When we care about someone, it's difficult not to be in contact with them, but it can be so important in order to grow, heal and be able to build a new relationship - either with that same person or someone else.  Whenever I start to feel sad that I don't talk to the guy I like, I just remind myself that everything happens for a reason and to make the best of this time.  I've learned so much about myself in this time that even if I never end up with him, I'm grateful to him.

I am sorry that you are going through this, though.  I hope it's not for long.   

[schenderson22]

Thank you so much Irishgirl.  I could truly feel your sincerity. (sniff, sniff)

Best of LOA to you!

[irishgirl69]

Have you seen the thread on a new process PSTEC?  I just commented on it so it should be easy to find.  I did it for the first time today and was amazed at how quickly the negative feelings dissipated.  It's free.  Maybe it will help you get through some of the sadness?

[DannyDank]

Weird, I definitely posted a reply to this, but apparently it did not post lol.

Intentions are ever present in our lives. Every movement, action, thought, and decision is based through it. There is always a desired outcome to a situation that we intend. Even with feelings of indifference there is still intent as we are sending the intent that we will not let it matter to us. Intentions are somewhat and inescapable part of life. In order for you to build a relationship in the physical world, there must be some form of contact and communication. It is a necessity.

Intentions and expectations are also entirely different though. With an expectation comes the connotation that we are directly trying to control an outcome which in turn will block our manifestation. Expectations are many times harmful as they contradict the natural flow of the Universe because we are set to taking one road to reach our end desire which is completely limiting. Expect nothing, just know that it is already yours.

Hope this helps.
Cheers

[lashark]

your post reminded me so much of this hotseater....

the reply Abe gave her I applied to the relationship between my mother and I, when I want her love and respect, she insults me. When I stop caring and treat her with indifferance she does the kindest things for me. Its so merry go round. This vid helped me clarify alot. I have come to a sense of peace with what-is, with the preferances that have been born out of it and now I just let it all go, sometimes I think of things I appreciate of her but for the most part I think about being whole with or without her love and respect. And think about just loving her unconditionally. This issue for me has some very chronic habitual thoughts that dont help me. Because of the past with my mother and I but little by little by little, my vibrations get clearer and more pure.

No contact is fine for whatever your reasons may be, because you are good and all your decisions are good. Trust that. But personally, I would never want to be in a state where I "dont" want to hear from someone, whoever they are or for whatever reason. Because acceptance feels better to me than rejection. Not going out of your way to talk to someone is different than deciding you dont want to talk to them, do you know what I mean?

Well heres the vid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2BocnT3-tI

[crazysoul]

Have you seen the thread on a new process PSTEC?  I just commented on it so it should be easy to find.  I did it for the first time today and was amazed at how quickly the negative feelings dissipated.  It's free.  Maybe it will help you get through some of the sadness?

again irishgirl, i am so happy that you followed this link....
i tried so often on here to get people to try this...

cause IT WORKS
never seen such an easy technique

schenderson- you have to try- you will be really really surprised

[tereza]

I feel that "no contact" needs to come with no intentions/ expectations etc. 

Yeah, I agree. There were times in the past where I'd use "no contact" as a sort of test in order to see if I was missed and well...it always blew up in my face. I think when you're expecting "no contact" to cause them to contact you (which was what my intention/expectation at the time)...well you're kind of attracting more waiting. Cause well, you're waiting for them to contact you. So it's just a lose/lose situation.

But there are times when I use "no contact" when I feel a bit taken for granted. Like I'll say to myself...ok, back off for a week or a few days. It sounds really strategical, but really it's more about regaining balance and taking care of myself. Because when I feel neglected, it's usually because I have been neglecting myself. Like right now my toes are not painted, my hair is a mess, there are receipts and papers scattered about and I'm surrounded by piles and piles of laundry.  I had a few somewhat unsympathetic conversations earlier today with various people (they cared, but clearly were too busy to listen the way I wanted them to) and I could see that the problem wasn't so much them, so much as I really needed a lot of attention and that attention needed to come from myself. So "no contact" sort of turns into "me time". 

Anyway, hope you're feeling better Schenderson and that things are starting to turn around for the better.