N demolished half of my heart

[UpLOAding]

I briefly updated Natasha about my recent discoveries about Terra... and she started insulting me, saying, indirectly, that I am a looser:
She smiled (on chat) and said that I always misunderstand women.
Based on what she said, noone likes me.

[ToMeAndOnlyMe]

I briefly updated Natasha about my recent discoveries about Terra... and she started insulting me, saying, indirectly, that I am a looser:
She smiled (on chat) and said that I always misunderstand women.
Based on what she said, noone likes me.

She's upset cause she probably doesn't like how you're moving on from her, don't let her negative energy bring you down. Obviously you care about Natasha still, but her words are effecting you. You like you, you understand you, the universe made you and you are perfect the way you are. Meditate it out, get her negative energy away from you, you only get hurt if you allow someone to hurt you.

[MiaVictoria]

Up, I am sorry that Natasha has made you feel such a way.  You are not a loser.  Though not entirely familiar with your situation, it is true, her energy is veering negative.  During your meditations, maybe decide, based on your experience with both women,  which would be the better female in your life as your companion/mate - the character of each, the feelings each one brings to you.  Decide based on personality traits and deep basic attraction.  Difficult decisions are made each day but those same decisions are genuine periods of growth.  They make us wiser, more mature and filled with experience - something we can pass on to others who find themselves feeling like you are now.  If Terra is the true soulmate, reach for her and appreciate Natasha for what she has given you in the past and send blessings to her for happiness.  Time will indeed make things better.  If Natasha destroyed half your heart, take it back, wipe if off and give it to Terra.  And you keep the other half. Do not despair.  All will be well.

[LifeAttraction90]

people in general will use whatever you have as a weakness to fire back at you - even exes do it  - keep being positive - don't let other people's negative vibes get 2 you - as long you know your own worth - no one can ever make you feel like a loser period. they do it because they are feeling horrible about themselves! remember , elevate yourself & put yourself on your own pedistial !

[57angel]

Most people who don't know the secret in life are indeed self centered, they just look at themselves as the victim in a negative situation and will do everything to get even. You are NOT a loser Uploading! Don't catch her bait, you are in your pedestal, what matters most is you and the things that will make you happy! Keep loving yourself by choosing to forget the negative energy Natasha sent to you, you don't deserve to stay in that negative energy for you are here to love yourself and be happy and to spread love, smiles and inspirations to everyone around you.

[UpLOAding]

What I meant was that what she said made me re-think everything I thought about her and the world, all the beautiful experiences with her.
 
I mean, I found out about LOA because of her. I became a better person because of her. In many many many aspects.
 
And what she said yesterday basically meant that she never intended to be more than friends (which contraddicts what she said in the past...) and that each time I like a woman, it is only my own illusion/impression that they like me...
 
Her words are like gold to me you know...
 
It made me lose faith in nearly everything I believed about myself, and her, and humans in general.
 
Of course I desire Terra most, but Natasha has been like a pillar of my personal integrity.
 
Just venting I guess. I might find my balance again in some time... but it's very disappointing.

[UpLOAding]

I mean... it made me feel that everything I did in the past 2 years was completely useless.
 
The job changes, the study path...
 
they were all useful to me, but apparently had no effect on Natasha... 

[ToMeAndOnlyMe]

I can relate to something like this.

Several years ago, I was with someone who I completely respected and hung on to every word he said. I won't go into detail, but he committed a betrayal that shattered me.

It doesn't undermine the time we had, I still look back and smile at the good times. However, at the time that it happened, I felt like a turtle who didn't want to come out of its shell. I looked up to him, he was what I thought I wanted to be. I was in the same place as you, I thought the memories were nothing after. Then you realize, that we're all human, we're not meant to be two dimensional. We have weaknesses, we have sadness and anger.

What she is now and how she is reacting is as much part of her as the beautiful memories you guys had. That being said, they are all parts of Natasha that you enjoyed and embraced. The memories you had are not useless, they made you someone who you can say you like being.

If she was the one who introduced you to LOA, she understands what her energy might be doing to you. Take the time in your LOA meditations, mantras etc to put together energy to Natasha showing that you care about her and that you want her to be happy. Be thankful that she was in your life and I believe things will shine through for you

[tereza]

She smiled (on chat) and said that I always misunderstand women.

This doesn't imply that you're a loser indirectly or directly. 

Besides, you've written many threads on here about your confusion and how you don't know what to do over this and that little thing. Her statement is only a manifestation of what you've put so much energy into.

[Ginny]

I agree with tereza completely.

[peter_93]

I agreed with Tereza and I find Ginny had given you all necessary practical advice on your other post – That how LOA really work UpLoading.

Situation and reaction you have been getting from Natasha and Terra can reflect your manifestation in LOA
Because LOA does not always mean of getting what you want, it also give what you don’t want, too.

So when you question on the other post if LOA is not working for you… actually that is how is working.

[lilly]

I don't have enough experience with Loa to give you an answer in relation to it and the work you're doing on yourself..but from my own point of view..that of a girl..It does sound like the reaction of a person who cares for you and who is upset because of that.
When they say something that seem insulting to us or rude, people don't necessarily mean what they say but very often (when they care) they are trying to get a reaction from us.
If you are moving on from her, maybe she is just trying ( whether consciously or unconsciouly) to test and provoke you to see if you still care about her to an extent.

I briefly updated Natasha about my recent discoveries about Terra... and she started insulting me, saying, indirectly, that I am a looser:
She smiled (on chat) and said that I always misunderstand women.
Based on what she said, noone likes me.

[UpLOAding]

I forgot to say that I spoke to Natasha about Terra in a very victim-like, attention-seeking way.
 
Here's more precisely how the conversation went, more or less.
 
I told Natasha like:"Why do I always fail? Why always me? See, Terra told me now that she has a boyfriend."
Natasha:"Haha, I knew. You misunderstood her just as you misunderstood me"
Me:"Do all women hate me so much? Am I destined to this kind of outcomes?"
Natasha:"Just don't think about this stuff"
etc
 
So yeah, I think I was in a self-depreciating mood by myself before Natasha.

[UpLOAding]

It seems like those past two years never happened. Like a blank in my memory.
 
So scared